Mini 733- Congratulations! You are... Mafia (Game Over)

[Mirth]

They were told not to come here, to this land of chaos and disarray, but they ignored logic and their survival instincts. Now these poor fools are trapped, and there is no way out. They have ignored the gods's warnings, and now they must appease them. Preferably with sacrifices. Of virgins. The internet should have plenty of those. And food. Lots of tasty yummy food, not just fat and bones and skin like that idiot Zeus got. And no goats. Goats are too cute to die. But yes, appeasement.

Those unfortunate enough to still be alive 1/12

Kmd4390 - Member of the Gnome Liberation Front, Mafia Goon, Roleblocker - Survived, Won

The lucky dead 11/12

Darox - Aquaman, Mafia Goon - Fondued to Death, Day 1, Won

Destructor

ZazieR

- Dschinghis Khan, Cop, Toastered Night 1
Dahill1 - David Duchovny, Lyncher, Barneyed to Death Night 1

caf19 - a little kid selling lemonade to buy a new Hannah Montana cd, Survivor,

Were-Llama

- Fed to Rabid Guinea Pigs, Day 2

elvis_knits - Don Quixote, Mafia Godfather, Seeking Lover Mason - Strangled and Felted Night 2, Won

Isacc - Tinkerbell, Weak Doctor, Lynch Resistant Townie - Unbelieved to Death, Night 2

Destructor

Glork

, Alexander Pichushkin, Serial Killer, Libertarian - Circussed and Movie Referenced to Death, Day 3.

SlySly- Zombie,Silencer,

Member of the Bestest Best Friends of SlySly Society

-Ran Out of Brains, Night 3
hasdgfas

CoheedCambria09

- SlySly, Cop,

Friendmaker

-Choked on Molly Ringwald, Night 3
Imaginality - Romanian, Thief, Vigilante - Made into Sausages, Day 4

Plum - Were Llama, Cult Recruiter - Gackted to Death, Endgame

The mildly cracked

(Replacement list)
Shaft.ed
PokerFace

Back-up Mod: Farside22

.

[Mirth]

RULES

(stolen and modified from all the other people who post rules)

- Only

black, visible text

is allowed in this thread.

Blue is my colour, and there will be modkilling involved if I see anyone else using it.

-

No

quoting or fake-quoting any PMs from the mod. This is a modkillable offense. It will result in me having to take you our back and shoot you.
- If you wish to vote, your must bold your vote as such:

vote:mirth

, or it will not be counted.

Unvotes

would be very much appreciated, but not necessary.
- The will be

no

discussing this game outside of this thread unless your role specifically permits you to do so.

- Lynching shall be accomplished by simple majority. Once a player reaches the majority needed for a lynch, unvotes will stop counting and the day will end.
- If you're one of them tree-hugging hippie types and wish to avoid a lynch, you may

vote:no lynch

If a simple majority of people votes no lynch, the day shall end without one.
-

No

posting in this thread once you're dead. If you want to gripe about dying, please wait until the game ends, y'all may however, post during twilight, dead player included.
-

No

editing or deleting posts. If I catch you, there shall be modkilling.

- If, for any reason, I have to mod-kill someone, the day will automatically end.
-

Night choices

must be submitted by the deadline given to each night phase. If I do not get a night choice from you and/or your partner(s), nothing will happen.
- I would appreciate it if y'all didn't take forever. All days shall have a

tentative deadline of one month after they start

, but if you wish to end them earlier, normal lynch/no-lynch rules apply. Deadlines shall be modified based on activity in this thread or if you ask me real nicely.
- For a

deadline lynch

to occur, one more than half of the votes needed for a normal majority shall be needed for a deadline lynch. (If you need 7 votes for a normal lynch, you will need 4 to lynch at deadline. However, in a situation where there are 4 or less players remaining, normal majority rules will still apply for deadline)
- Please be active.

If you're going to be unavailable for more than 2 days, either post a note in this thread or PM the mod

. Thank you.
- Prods shall be sent after 3 days of unexcused inactivity and be given a 3-day window of response. Then I will start looking for replacements. If you want prods sent sooner, ask me in thread.

If you want to ask me a question in thread, please bold it

.
- Play nice kids.

[Mirth]

It seems you all actually want to be here. ~Shakes her head in sadness.~ Poor, poor fools. Let the lynching begin

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 2609 - [Plum, caf, kmd]
Coheed - 57 - [imaginality, sly]
Plum - 4.5 - [dahill]
Glork - 4.49999999 - [elvis]
Caf - 4.4999999999999999 - [Isacc]
Sly - 4.4999999999999999999 - [Coheed]

Not Voting - -7 - [Zazie, Glork, Darox]

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 2609 - [Plum, caf, kmd]
Coheed - 78 - [imaginality]
Plum - 4.5 - [dahill]
Glork - 4.49999999 - [elvis]
Caf - 4.5000000000000000000000000001 - [Isacc]
Sly - 4.4999999999999999999 - [Coheed]
Darox - 89.2 - [Sly]
MeMe - 0.7 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - 2.9 - [Glork]

Not Voting - -7 - [Zazie, Darox]

Y'all might want to follow her advice.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 268976 - [Plum, caf]
Glork - 4998899999 - [elvis]
Caf - 98.51 - [Isacc]
Sly - 4.4999999999999999999 - [Coheed]
Isacc - 6677 - [imaginality]
Elvis - 89 - [Sly]
Kmd - 56 - [Zazie]
MeMe - 0.5 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - 5.9 - [Glork]

Not Voting - -89 - [Darox, Kmd, Dahill]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Sing along, everybody

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 42 - [Plum, caf]
Caf - 42 - [Isacc, Zazie]
Glork - 42 - [elvis]
Sly - 42 - [Coheed]
Isacc - 42 - [imaginality]
Elvis - 42 - [Sly]
MeMe - 42 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - 42 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 42 - [Darox, Kmd, Dahill]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Y'all look like you could use some chemical help.

I also don't see any kittens.

[Mirth]

That is strange, I still don't see kittens. Hmmm. I might have to do something about that.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 0 - [Plum, caf]
Caf - 0 - [Isacc, Zazie]
Sly - 0 - [Coheed]
Isacc - 0 - [imaginality]
Elvis - 0 - [Sly]
Coheed - 0 - [Elvis]
Glork - 0 - [Darox]
Imaginality - 0 - [Dahill]
PJ - 0 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - 0 - [Glork]

Not Voting -0 - [Kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Those kittens are not cute enough. Mod is not appeased.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - 16 going on 17 - [Plum]
Caf - 32 flavours - [Zazie]
Sly - 867-5309 - [Coheed]
Isacc - happy birthday sweet 16 - [imaginality]
Elvis - 99 red balloons - [Sly]
Coheed - mambo no. 5 - [Elvis]
Glork - 1984 - [Darox]
Coheed - i'm gonna be (500 miles) -[Kmd]
PJ - 99 problems but a (insert word for female dog here) aint one - [Glork]
Ross Perot - little 15 - [Glork]

Not Voting - love minus zero - [Dahill, Isacc, Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Sadly, this man is right

[Mirth]

Votecount

Zazie - LVIII - [Plum]
Caf - MMXII - [Zazie]
Sly - C - [Coheed]
Isacc - XIX - [imaginality]
Elvis - MMMMMMMMMLVII - [Sly]
Coheed - IL - [Elvis]
Coheed - MC -[Kmd]
PJ - DLV - [Glork]
Ross Perot - DCLXVI - [Glork, Darox, Mirth]

Not Voting - MIM - [Dahill, Isacc, Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Dahill's V/LA is noted.
Everybody hold on to your pants

[Mirth]

Votecount

Coheed - 2.7 - [Elvis, Kmd]
Caf - 3.14 - [Zazie]
Sly - 305392904 - [Coheed]
Isacc - 32525 - [imaginality]
Elvis - MMMMMMMMMLVII - [Sly]
Kmd - 46 -[Dahill]
PJ - 0 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - -5 - [Glork, Darox, Mirth]

Not Voting - 3593 - [Isacc, Caf, Plum]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Can someone enlighten me as to who killed the Kennedys?

[Mirth]

Sly, Coheed, and Zazie have been prodded

[Mirth]

Votecount

Kmd - 8 -[Dahill, imaginality, Darox]
Coheed - 6 - [Elvis, Kmd]
Caf - 7 - [Zazie]
Sly - 5 - [Coheed]
PJ - 3 - [Glork]
Ross Perot - 0 - [Glork, Darox, Mirth]

Not Voting - 9 - [Isacc, Caf, Plum, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Awww, Elvis, you don't like trashy Europop? Have some German rap. And be glad I'm not a sadist.

[Mirth]

Looking for replacements for Zazie and Coheed for not picking up prods

[Mirth]

Destructor replaces Zazie. Still looking for a replacement for Coheed.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Kmd - -[Dahill, imaginality, Darox]
Coheed - - [Elvis, Kmd]
Caf - - [Destructor]
Sly - - [Coheed]
PJ - - [Glork]

Not Voting - - [Isacc, Caf, Plum, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

[Mirth]

hasdgfas replaces Coheed

[Mirth]

Votecount

Kmd - 85 -[imaginality, Darox]
Cow - 92 - [Elvis, Kmd]
Sly - 666.666 - [Plum, Dahill]
Caf - -17.5 - [Destructor]
Isacc - 5,000,000,000,000,000,000 -[Cow]
PJ - 4 - [Glork]


Not Voting - 2.2 - [Isacc, Caf, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

If this doesn't pick up, I'm instating a deadline.

Going to see if anybody needs prodding now

Elvis and Darox have been prodded

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - i - [Plum, Dahill, Elvis]
Cow - e - [Kmd]
Kmd - 3.14 -[Darox]
Isacc - 2i - [Imaginality]
Des - 4.5i - [Cow]
PJ - 6789e - [Glork]
Jeep - iii - [des]

Not Voting - 6.28 - [Isacc, Caf, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - purple - [Plum, Dahill, Elvis]
Des - fuchsia - [Cow, Kmd]
Kmd - mauve -[Darox]
Isacc - emerald - [Imaginality]
PJ - eggshell white - [Glork]
Jeep - robin's egg blue - [des]

Not Voting - terra cotta - [Isacc, Caf, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1

Item "Box of Condoms" has not been sold. The moderator will not tolerate condom balloon animals or water balloons in this thread. As this is the internet, the moderator is certain that that is the only use they will see.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Des - 42 - [Cow, Plum, Isacc]
Sly - 42 - [Dahill, Elvis]
Kmd - 42 -[Darox]
Isacc - 42 - [Imaginality]
PJ - 42 - [Glork]
Jeep - 42 - [des]

Not Voting - 42 - [Caf, Sly, Kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1
Coat Racks Bought: 1

If Plum wishes to buy wine, she must show a valid ID certifying that she is in fact over 21. The mod does not supply alcohol to minors. At least when she is aware that they are minors. Besides, the mod does not advocate the drinking of wine as it is an inferior beverage.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - once - [Dahill, Elvis, des]
Des - upon - [Cow, Isacc]
Kmd - a -[Darox, Plum]
Isacc - midnight dreary- [Imaginality]
PJ - while i pondered - [Glork]

Not Voting - weak and weary - [Caf, Sly, Kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1
Coat Racks Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 11 - [Dahill, Elvis, des]
Des - 11 - [Cow, Isacc, Sly]
Kmd - 10 -[Darox, Plum]
Isacc - 1- [Imaginality]
PJ - 1 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 10 - [Caf, Kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1
Coat Racks Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 11 - [Dahill, Elvis, des, imaginality]
Des - 10 - [Cow, Isacc, Sly]
Kmd - 2 -[Darox, Plum]
PJ - 1 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 2 - [Caf, Kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1
Coat Racks Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 987654321123456789 - [Dahill, Elvis, des, imaginality, cow, Darox]
Des - 512346854563 - [Isacc, Sly]
Isacc - 8328 - [Kmd, Plum]
PJ - 872648726 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 546543 - [Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1
Orange Juice Bought: 1
Hard Cider Bought: 1
Coat Racks Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - d4 - [Dahill, Elvis, des, imaginality, cow, Darox]
Des - c2 - [Sly]
Isacc - a7 - [Kmd]
PJ - g3 - [Glork]

Not Voting - e5 - [Caf, Plum, Isacc]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

[Mirth]

It appears as though y'all have made up your minds about this killing business. Well, don't me stop you. Lynch scene next post.

Votecount

Sly - 16 - [Dahill, Elvis, des, imaginality, cow, Darox, Kmd]
Des - 59 - [Sly]
PJ - 8 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 12 - [Caf, Plum, Isacc]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

[Mirth]

The poor fools gathered around one of their own, SlySly, quiet sure that he was an evil bad nasty person who kicked puppies, and someone had the brilliant idea of making him dance the Tyburn jig. Well, as eccentric as Mirth was, they couldn't find a ready-made gallows in her backyard (at least one that wasn't being used as a tire swing and didn't have a "Touch and Die" sign on it that they wisely choose to heed), so our intrepid heroes(?) decided to MacGyver one together. Someone apparently had a ball of yarn (something about it being a kitten defense system or such), and they found a young pear tree that might almost possibly perhaps hold Sly's weight (they weren't sure how much he weighed, as, well, it *was* the internet and anyone could turn out to be Eugene, the overweight, balding, 49-year-old truck driver). After rigging a broken rollerskate to act as some sort of pulley, they wound a length of yarn (it was the sparkly novelty kind) around Sly's neck, around the sole remaining wheel of the skate, and tied it to a hula hoop which someone thought to harness to a donkey. Why there was a donkey there, no one was quiet sure, but Elvis was rather sad she couldn't make sweet sweet love to alpacas, as there were none around for miles. Anyway, the donkey, which was enticed away from the tree with a couple of twinkies and a stale dinner roll, succeeded, after much straining and wheezing, to haul Sly up about 6 inches off the ground, enough to snap a normal person's neck or strangle them to death or something, but Sly just hung there nonchalantly, getting rather bored and annoyed that he was going to miss his Gilmore Girls reruns if they left him up there all day. Well, the other townsfolk, after much grumbling amongst themselves, decided to just leave him up there for making them waste a perfectly good ball of yarn, and continued on with the day.

Day 1 continues, nobody is dead yet. But y'all are getting a deadline:

Monday, February 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 21 - [Dahill, Elvis, des, imaginality, cow, Darox, Kmd]
Elvis - 1 -[Plum]
PJ - 8 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 10 - [Caf, Isacc, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 8789 - [Dahill, des, cow, Darox]
Elvis - 28792 -[Plum]
Isacc - 294 - [Kmd, imaginality]
PJ - 8 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 98098409280 - [Caf, Isacc, Sly, Elvis]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Sorry, all out of lawn gnomes, sold the last five to an old couple.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - i - [Dahill, cow, Darox]
Elvis - forgot -[Plum]
Isacc - how - [Kmd, imaginality]
Darox - to - [Des]
Dahill - count. - [Sly]
PJ - help - [Glork]

Not Voting - me? - [Caf, Isacc, Elvis]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 1

Deadline reminder: Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - 97868 - [Dahill, cow, Darox, des, plum]
Isacc - 6476 - [Kmd, imaginality]
Dahill - 4698767 - [Sly]
PJ - 45687980 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 07689879 - [Caf, Isacc, Elvis]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

Deadline reminder: Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Lynch scene next post

Votecount

Sly - 17 - [Dahill, cow, Darox, des, plum, Isacc, imaginality, elvis, kmd]
Plum - 4- [Sly]
PJ - 5 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 9 - [Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

Deadline reminder: Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

It appears as though Sly's punishment of having to miss Lorelai and Rory's slatternly exploits is not a harsh enough measure for the League Opposing Puppy Suffering, Injury, Disemboweling, Evisceration, or Dilapidation, who demand his head on a platter served with a nice rice pilaf and garnished with fresh sprigs of mint and parsley in a nice chutney of perhaps a tamarind variety. Luckily for them, Mirth just happens to have a guillotine in her backyard, a souvenir from her sojourns abroad. The good people cut Sly down from the makeshift gallows and attempt to figure out how to use the French-made contraption. Something about Tab A into Slot B or some such. After manhandling him into the contraption, they unfasten the rope to let the blade fall. They wait, and they wait, and nothing happens. It appears to be stuck. Sadly, it's gotten rather rusty over the years with the blood of the bourgeoisie and all and just doesn't seem to want to fall on Sly's neck like a good little beheading implement. After a few tries, someone manages to unstick the blade with the liberal assistance of a two-liter bottle of Coke and a crowbar...and down it falls, down, down, until it just barely nicks the back of Sly's neck and gets stuck again. Right before the killing blow. How dreadful. Sly screams something about not having an up to date tetanus shot, but the others just don't care, leaving him stuck there in the guillotine. I guess he has to miss Oprah and that one makeover show too. What a shame.

Day 1 continues

[Mirth]

Glork has been prodded

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - xxi - [cow, Darox, des, plum, Isacc, imaginality, elvis, kmd]
Kmd- c- [Sly]
PJ - lviii - [Glork]

Not Voting - mmmci - [Caf, dahill]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

Deadline reminder: Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Now prodding Darox.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Sly - mango - [cow, Darox, des, Isacc, imaginality]
Kmd - tunafish - [Dahill]
Isacc - bongo drum - [Kmd]
cow - sock - [elvis]
des - sandcastle - [sly]
elvis - kiwi - [Plum]
PJ - pepperspray - [Glork]

Not Voting - catsuit - [Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

Deadline reminder: Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

darox - badger -[imaginality, elvis, des, sly]
elvis - badger - [Plum, Isacc]
Sly - badger - [Darox]
Kmd - badger - [Dahill]
Isacc - badger - [Kmd]
PJ - badger - [Glork]

Not Voting - mushroom - [Caf, cow]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

Deadline reminder:

Monday, Feb 16, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

Isaac has been prodded.

As for extending the deadline, I'll think about it. Will let y'all know tonight.

[Mirth]

Since y'all are being whiny little peacenik pinko-commie-liberals about the voting process, you'll get your extension. But this is your last one.

Final Deadline: Monday, Feb 23, 2009, 11:59 PM EST

Votecount

darox - mary -[imaginality, elvis, des, kmd]
elvis - had - [Plum, Isacc]
Kmd - a - [Dahill]
des - little - [sly]
PJ - lamb - [Glork]

Not Voting - baaaaaaaaaaaaaa - [Caf, cow, Darox]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

[Mirth]

Final Deadline: Monday, Feb 23, 2009, 11:59 PM EST

Votecount

darox - 87329572 -[imaginality, elvis, des]
elvis - potato - [Plum, Isacc]
Kmd - 3587297529830918353 - [Dahill]
des - 1 - [sly]
Isaac - 208420 - [kmd]
PJ - 1837593 - [Glork]

Not Voting - 3 - [Caf, cow, Darox]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 2

[/quote]

[Mirth]

Imaginality has been prodded. If anyone else is in need of proddings, let me know.

[Mirth]

Final Deadline: Monday, Feb 23, 2009, 11:59 PM EST

Votecount

darox - b -[imaginality, elvis, des, Isacc]
Kmd - i - [Dahill]
des - n - [sly, Plum]
Isaac - g - [kmd]
PJ - o - [Glork]

Not Voting - g5 - [Caf, cow, Darox]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 3

Sooooo...what's Roswell all about? I also demand more kitties. That is all.

[Mirth]

Final Deadline: Monday, Feb 23, 2009, 11:59 PM EST

Votecount

darox - fe -[imaginality, elvis, des, Isacc]
Kmd - fi - [Dahill]
des - fo - [sly, Plum]
Isaac - fum - [kmd]
PJ - i smell the blood of - [Glork]

Not Voting - an Englishman - [Caf, cow, Darox]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 3

[Mirth]

Final Deadline: Monday, Feb 23, 2009, 11:59 PM EST

Votecount

darox - you -[imaginality, elvis, des, Isacc, kmd]
Kmd - have - [Dahill]
des - about - [sly, Plum]
PJ - 28 hours - [Glork]

Not Voting - 45 mins- [Caf, cow, Darox]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 3

[Mirth]

Hmmm...I smell blood lust...lynch scene next post

Votecount

darox - finally -[imaginality, elvis, des, Isacc, kmd, caf, dahill]

des - this - [sly, Plum, Darox]
PJ - god forsaken day - [Glork]

Not Voting - is over- [cow, ]

Cups of Lemonade Bought: 3

[Mirth]

After what happened with Sly during the last 2 lynches, the townsfolk don't want to risk another failure, for fear of being kicked out of the Angry Mob Union, Local 131. So they decide to do it right this time. With pitchforks and torches and all that jazz. Sadly, there are none to be found on the property. Just an old Lite Brite set and a couple of fondue forks. And still no rope for the lynching. Ah well. Time for more creative measures...

After a lengthy discussion about how the best possible death for Darox would be being stampeded on by a flock of Tajo's sex-crazed relatives, the townsfolk, realizing that Mirth's backyard most certainly is not Peru, settle for something far less interesting. They decide to poke Darox to death with the fondue forks. Poke him and hook him up to one of those mini vacuum sealers that keeps your cheese fresh. You know, so it would suck the blood out faster. Alas, the poor fools have not thought through the consequences of their actions, and, after having its motor ruined by all the blood, the machine dies before it can finish the job with Darox...what a shame...but wait! These fondue forks are pretty spiffy...and there was that large pot over in the kitchen...and Mirth hadn't fed them all day...

Ah, the Donner Party would be so proud...

Darox - Aquaman, Mafia Goon, Fondued to Death, Day 1

It is now Night 1. All night choices are due in to me by

Friday, Feb 27, 11:59 PM EST

[Mirth]

It was a short night, as the sunrise seemed to be conspiring with the the moderator's insomnia. It seemed as thought it had only been a short while since the poor unfortunate souls, now numbering 11, had wandered off to their own allotted shacks overnight. But there were noises. Strange noises. Noises that sounded like alpaca sex and crappy horror movies. Noises like squeeky toys and someone watching really bad porn. And then there were other noises. Noises of killing.

Destructor, alone in his house with it's collection of old records and shiny disco pants, tried to sleep. He really did. There were bottles of sleeping pills everywhere and he was wearing fuzzy ear muffs to bed to block out the noise of the alpaca sex next door. Well, he got his wish. In the morning, when gathering for roll call, Destructor did not show up, so his house was invaded by the curious townsfolk. They found him dead in the bathtub. What he was doing in the bathtub, none of them could tell. He was fully clothed in his regalia of turban, shiny vest, colorful, tight pants, and platform boots. Not the kind of attire to be taking a bath. Besides that, his rubber ducky was sitting up on the shelf, and what kind of sick freak takes a bath without Mr. Bubbles? Upon further investigation, the townsfolk noticed that his throat had been cut with what looked like a rusty ladies' safety razor, his eyes gouged out with cocktail toothpicks, his nostrils stuffed full of cabbage, and his liver removed to be sold on the black market. Buuuuuuuuuuttttttttttt none of that killed him. He obviously died from the toaster floating in the bathtub with him.

While poking Destructor's corpse with convenient salad forks, the townsfolk noticed that Dahill1 was also nowhere to be seen, so they rushed to his house to see if they could get even more entertainment that morning. Dahill's shack was horribly unclean and littered with pornographic memorabilia scattered between containers of preserved, supposedly alien, fetuses. There were also lots of stalkerish photos of a certain redhead taped up to his walls, which were covered with incoherent babble about Roswell and spirit possession. Dahill1's body itself was lying on a leaky waterbed, not moving. He appeared to be stung all over by bees, his mouth and nostrils bandaged over by barbie bandages, his wrists slit in the manner of a emo teen failing at suicide (damnit, kids, its down the street, not across the way!), and clown makeup was smeared all over him. He apparently died, though, of the Barney and Friends episode that was still playing on his television, his eyes having me superglued open to force him to watch it.

Destructor - Dschinghis Khan, Cop, Toastered Night 1
Dahill1 - David Duchovny, Lyncher, Barneyed to Death Night 1

Well, now the pragmatic townsfolk had plenty to eat for breakfast. And just as that meal was winding down, Hascow was about to ask for seconds, but not sound came out.

Hascow has been SILENCED for Day 2.

[Mirth]

Well, that was quick. Day 2 begins. Hascow cannot post in thread today. Now get on with the lynching.

And in memory of the victims, a song

[Mirth]

Votecount

Glork - 9 - [Sly]
Isacc - 0 - [Kmd]
Sly - 2 - [Elvis]
Elvis - 1 - [Isacc]

Not Voting - 0 - [Glork, Plum, Imaginality, Hascow, Caf]

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - Hurry - [Kmd]
Sly - It - [Elvis]
Elvis - Up - [Isacc]

Not Voting - People - [Glork, Plum, Imaginality, Hascow, Caf, Sly]

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - Hurry - [Kmd]
Sly - It - [Elvis, Imaginality]
Elvis - Up - [Isacc]

Not Voting - People - [Glork, Plum, , Hascow, Caf, Sly]

Also, I am going on a trip, so I will be V/LA until Sunday. However, I will try to check in before then as I will have some limited access on Thursday and Saturday, but I will definitely not going to be here Friday. So please behave.

[Mirth]

Just because I'm gone doesn't mean y'all should stop talking. Seriously. Get on with it, or when I get back home, there will be a deadline. That is all.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - pi - [Kmd, Imaginality]
Elvis - e - [Isacc, Plum]
Plum - ! - [Elvis, Sly]

Not Voting - 1 - [Glork, Plum, Hascow, Caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Plum's V/LA noted. Mod is back. And you're getting a deadline.

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - 29.4 - [Kmd, Imaginality]
Elvis - 55/68 - [Isacc, Plum]
Plum - -.6 - [Elvis]

Not Voting - 453 - [Glork, Hascow, Caf, Sly]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

Glork has been prodded

[Mirth]

Imaginality has been prodded. You people really need to get on with the talking before I subject you all to my current Bad Europop Video of the Week. I also have a craving for kittens.

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - 2 - [Kmd, Imaginality, Sly]
Elvis - 4 - [Isacc, Plum]
Plum - 6 - [Elvis, Caf]

Not Voting - 8 - [Glork, Hascow]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

As much as I hate to do this, Glork is being replaced.

But the good news is, destructor's back. Wee

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - 985309 - [Kmd, Imaginality, Sly]
Elvis - 292ug9wh94 - [Isacc, Plum]
Plum - 30948t02jf0tui40jg0rg - [Elvis, Caf]

Not Voting - 42 - [des, Hascow]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

hascow is silenced today, des. he doesn't need prodding

[Mirth]

Votecount

Isacc - 25 - [Kmd, Imaginality, Sly]
Elvis - V - [Isacc, Plum]
Plum - i - [Elvis, Caf]

Not Voting - 40/0 - [des, Hascow]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

Elvis - 98989088089790 - [Isacc, Plum]
Isacc - 25890094 - [Imaginality]
Plum - 9825823 - [Elvis]
caf - 0945 - [Sly]

Not Voting - 0 - [des, Hascow, caf, kmd]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

Votecount

caf - 2 - [Sly, Elvis, kmd, Imaginality]
Elvis - pi - [Isacc, Plum]

Not Voting - r - [des, Hascow, caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Deadline: Tuesday, March 24, 12:00 PM EST

feel better, des. Deadline is in 5 hours and 23 minutes.

[Mirth]

Votecount

caf - 0 - [Sly, Elvis, kmd, Imaginality]

Elvis - 0 - [Isacc, Plum]

Not Voting - 0 - [des, Hascow, caf]

Cups of Lemonade Bought : 3

Lynch scene next post

[Mirth]

After a long, hard day of pretending to argue so that Mirth wouldn't kill them all for boring her to tears, the town, rather unenthusiastically, shoved caf19 forward as their sacrificial lamb for the day. Wait, what? The crazy wannabe cat lady didn't have an altars to Eris in her backyard? Oh, wait, that's right. That would be Adel...how stupid the townsfolk felt for that one moment, trying to figure out exactly just how they could kill caf, if there were no altars to be found, the guillotine was broken, the fondue pot was still greasy and nasty from their dinner (no one felt like doing the dishes last night, and yarn and donkey were nowhere to be found. Even the toaster that killed poor Des the first time didn't seem to be working. So they had to get creative.

After tying caf up with some surgical tubing and Baby's First Bondage Kit, and shoving a box of Raisinettes into his mouth to try and poison him, the town happened to overhear the deaf neighbor's television playing the news. Apparently, in the stretch of woods enveloping that horrible little house, someone had unleashed their bonded pair of unneutered guinea pigs a couple years before. After much reproducing, and those buggers reproduce damn fast, a feral colony was established, governed by Squeesquag, the guinea pig king. A few of the towns people tried reasoning with him in human-speak about carrying out the death sentence, but after a couple rabies infected bites, they just decided to throw caf right in to the center of the colony and hope the little buggers were hungry. They were. Caf screamed about his eternal love for Miley Cyrus as he was being devoured and the full moon was rising over the horizon. Mid-scream, he transformed into a Llama, making llama noises at the moon. But before long his skeleton was stripped of all its flesh and thrown back to the townspeople. Squeesquag was pleased.

caf19 - a little kid selling lemonade to buy a new Hannah Montana cd, Survivor,

Were-Llama

- Fed to Rabid Guinea Pigs, Day 2

Though he was only a lifeless skeleton, he resembled an alpaca, at least more so then all the other townspeople here. Upon discovering this, Elvis, who had been deprived of steamy alpaca sex for a whole 18 hours, proceeded to drag the lifeless body away, muttering something about electricity working for vibrators and Dr. Frankenstein, and how there was a Pet Sematary near by... The rest of the townspeople just nodded and smiled and backed far, far away.

It is now Night 2. Night choices are due to me by

Friday, March 27, 6:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

The night was a strange one, to be sure. There were those sex noises again, but they were cut off mid moan, and while those were soon to be explained to the weary townspeople, the chicken clucking and the sounds of a far away Pan pipe had no plausible explanations here. Neither did the merry-go-round music nor the mariachi band.

The morning sun took its time rambling across the night to reach the other horizon, and when the good people woke up, they were startled. Their numbers were now down to six. Looking around themselves for the corpses, they saw a trail of blood leading away from elvis_knits's shack. Reluctantly, fearing whatever horrors might be lurking within, they approached.

Elvis was in there, alright, but the scene was too gruesome to behold. Scattered all around her body were bottles of flavored lubricants, and sex toys, and even a modified saw. Evidence of her lust hung from the sex swing suspended from her ceiling...a four legged skeleton with a furry rug tied to it. The townspeople had not wanted to look. On closer exception, around her prostate and mostly naked body, shielded from view only by a tiny hand towel, there was a pool of blood or strawberry syrup. No one felt like tasting to find out, since they weren't sure if this was murder evidence or yet another kink. But Elvis was quite certainly dead, anyway. Her now vacant eyes stared up at the faces of the living, telling a sordid tale that is far too lascivious to repeat. The cause of her murder was clear, however. She was strangled with her own edible underwear, and then, for good measure, the killer stabbed her multiple times with felting needles and crochet hooks. Elvis was very very dead.

While Elvis was becoming the victim of her own varied hobbies, Isaac had been minding his own business and plotting his revenge against Wendy, while farting fairy dust all over the vicinity. But someone had caught him and torn his little wings off, which lay desolate and despondent on the floor of his tiny little domicile. The killer might have thought to vivisect him in a real life version of operation, or shove toothpicks up his nostrils, or sing bad show tunes, or drop a large book on his head, or suspend him upside down over and inkwell and drown him thus, or even fed him to the household cats. But no, the killer did something far far easier. He stopped believe in fairies. And poof, Isacc was gone, his wings the only reminder of his existence. The voyeur watching the scene who later reported on these events was upset that the killer did not provide him with a striptease before he died.

elvis_knits - Don Quixote, Mafia Godfather, Seeking Lover Mason - Strangled and Felted Night 2

Isacc - Tinkerbell, Weak Doctor, Lynch Resistant Townie - Unbelieved to Death, Night 2

[Mirth]

It is now day 3. Bwahahahaha.

[Mirth]

Votecount

des - 5938 - [imaginality, kmd]

Not Voting - 7 - [Des, Sly, Has, Plum]

[Mirth]

Do I need to give you guys a deadline? Because I really don't want to but I will

[Mirth]

Plum and KMD have both been prodded.

[Mirth]

Votecount

des - ice cream - [imaginality, kmd]
MeMe - 93 - [des]
imaginality - 4 elephants in a mini - [plum]

Not Voting - moooo - [ Sly, Has]


I crave kittens...

[Mirth]

Votecount

kmd - fish sticks taste funny - [sly, imaginality, kmd, cow]
MeMe - mreow - [des]
imaginality - applesauce - [plum]

I still don't see any kittens. Lynch scene next post

[Mirth]

The mod was tired. So tired that she could see the back of her eyeballs and they were purple with pink fairy polka dots, whatever that is supposed to mean, and she didn't have time for this nonsense when the townsfolk brought her Kmd, shouting that he needed to be gotten rid of. She tossed them the keys to her private collection of happy explosive toys and went back to gnawing Andy Warhol's arm off and muttering something about tuna fish building castles in Belize. supposedly, Andy Warhol was a soporific. It wasn't working.

So the poor foolish villagers decided that it would be a good idea to look through Mirth's stash, but, having spent the past few nights in this accursed house, they were bright enough to realize that her gun collection just *had* to be booby-trapped. It just wouldn't work any other way here. Since Kmd was expendable anyway, according to the majority decision made earlier, they threw him in, head first, to help them disarm the traps to get to the guns they were planning to shoot him with. No, an Uzi and a couple of rocket launchers were not too excessive. Not in the least.

Well, it was a good thing that they threw him in there, because there was no way that Mirth was going to let some no good hoodlums who didn't even bother to learn the secret password the would have disarmed the 600 pound trucker driver dressed in a ballerina outfit who wrestled Kmd until every single bone in the latter's body was broken. It might have also done something about the trap-door alligators that gnawed off Kmd's feet and his reproductive organs. Or the rabid ant eater that gave Kmd an unscheduled appendectomy. Or maybe even the pair of love birds that took a good long time pecking out Kmd's eyes, and performing some unlicensed brain surgery. Yeah, all of that could have probably been avoided. Also perfectly avoidable were the advances of the syphilis-ridden transvestites, the accappella choir Mirth kept on hand for dispatching against her worst enemies, the tuba to the spleen, Elvis's entire collection of alpaca porn, the cardboard cutout of Dick Cheney in a muumuu, the tank of piranhas, the monkey, and the Madonna impersonator.

Kmd was a blood crawling mess when he finally managed to make his way out of the pit of despair known as the weapons locker...but he was only brandishing a widow's companion. The rest of the town was obviously less than thrilled that he couldn't bring back any real weaponry, but none of them dared to go into that awful horrible place with its disco music and it's stampeding elephants. No, instead they had to get creative. It was time to kill Kmd...

The townsfolk, after much deliberation, decided on a way of killing the crippled and bloodied husk of a man who kept muttering something about not being dead yet. They would form a coven! With, like, real witch powers and stuff! So they could, like, hex him in the name of Silver Ravenwolf, like oh mai gawdess, she was totally their new hero. So they formed a circle and started summoning some long forgotten, or probably recently invented, variant of Satan, throwing sharp pointy crystals and crappy-smelling incense at their victim all the while, to "bind" him (they could have just called FL, it would have gone much much father), when the earth opened up and the demon *&#*#*%&# (you just call him the demon formerly known as the demon formerly known as *&#*#*%&#) showed up, took one look at Kmd, and told the rest of the fools that Kmd was not worth his time, and if they ever interrupted him again in the middle of his Dynasty reruns, he would be very angry.

Nobody is dead yet, so hurry up and get on with this day

[Mirth]

I have some real life stuff I need to take care of, so I'm going to be V/LA until Thursday. Apologies

[Mirth]

Votecount

kmd - three little indians - [sly, cow]
des - I'M STILL NOT SEEINGS KITTENS DAMNIT - [kmd, imaginality]
MeMe - pokemon - [des]

not voting - gerbils - [plum]

Mirth IS evil. I wouldn't be surprised if her wedding ring breathes fire and is made of brimstone.

I'm not married. If we ignore for a second the fact that I don't believe in marriage, I'd have to say I'd never go for something that tacky. It's all about the rings carved out of the bones of one's enemies, after all.

[Mirth]

Cute kitten, but you guys have just earned yourself a deadline anyway.

Deadline: Friday, May 1, 6:00 PM

[Mirth]

Votecount

kmd - anton chekov - [sly, cow]
des - broccoli - [kmd, imaginality]
MeMe - fruit tarts - [des]

not voting - noodles - [plum]

[Mirth]

Votecount

des - pi - [kmd, imaginality, plum]

MeMe - greapefruit - [des]
cow - moldy bread - [sly]

not voting - kitty litter - [cow]

Lynch scene next post.

[Mirth]

After that unfortunate debacle with Mirth's private arms locker, the townsfolk decided to take some alone time and brainstorm how they were going to get out of this mess they had gotten themselves into. Destructor was spending his personal time away from prying eyes, chugging vodka (the Polish kind, as it was certainly superior to the tasteless samogon found in his own country) and nursing his crush on Alena Vinnitskaya. Ah, that Alena, so perfect, so allergic to pants, how he loved her.

While staring at the video feed from the hidden cameras he had had installed in her microwave, des was caught off guard by the other townsfolk, who rushed him like humanoid steamrollers. While des was feeding his obsession, the others had decided it was time for him to die, and they figured out just how...oh, it was a marvelous idea, too perfect to be true...

During their secret conference about killing des, the others had come across bear tracks. But not just any bear tracks...Care Bear tracks! Mirth's property had a Care Bear infestation! The horror! But...they could use this to their advantage. They could give them des and make peace, before those horrid critters ran around trying to hug anyone. So they hogtied des with a couple of the...er...accessories found in Elvis's hovel (eww), and dragged him off, over vale and hill. But alas, the furry critters had meandered off, to wreck their havoc elsewhere. So the townsfolk were left with a tied up des and nothing to do with him.

That is, until they noticed the unusually huge conifer in the distance...could it be? Could it possibly be? It was! It was the natural habitat of the Norwegian Blue! Remarkable bird, isn't it? Lovely plummage. Now if only they could find the illusive avian, they were sure that des could contract bird flu from it. Upon reaching it's tree, however, they learned that it was

pining for the fjords

resting, and could not be disturbed to infect des.

Hmm, what to do, what to do...and then it hit them, like a ton of bricks (and a ton of bricks almost did hit them). They would hold Guy Fawkes Day early this year! 6 months and 3 days early, but who's counting. While setting up for the bonfire, however, des managed to wiggle and hop away cartoon style.

He didn't get to far though, as he was crossing the road, not remembering to look both ways, he tripped over his tangled up shoelaces, fell, and sprained his big toe. As he lay there, howling about the excruciating pain, a herd of elephants stampeded down the road, squashing him under foot. After all, the circus was coming to town.

Dumbo's massive feet weren't what killed des though. Just as he was recovering from the decimating, bone breaking experience, Madame Edna's cart rolled by, and she lobbed her lousy crystal ball out the window. She had had it with that thing, always telling her lies about how she was going to end up alone with a herd of cats. That wasn't true! It wasn't! Enrico, the lion tamer, was sure to notice her one of these days, what with the way he stared at her with those sultry Spanish eyes! She just knew it! But if she had been a real psychic, she would have realized long ago that Enrico was secretly boffing Aldophus Readington III, the human cannonball. Alas, poor Edna, facing the fate of many women before her, doomed to pine over a gay man...anyway, the crystal shatted over des's skull, it's splinters lodged themselves in his eyeballs, blinding him, and des, unknowingly, managed to roll into the Fire Swamp where he was promptly gnawed on by ROUS and consumed by some lightening sand.

Destructor, Alexander Pichushkin, Serial Killer, Libertarian, Circussed and Movie Referenced to Death.

It is now Night 3, all night actions are due to me by Monday, May 4, 8:00 PM EST

[Mirth]

Destructors untimely demise had put the moderator in a foul mood. Who else was she going drink vodka with while swapping stories of how life was back in the old country. But she knew she shouldn't be playing favourites. So she just ended up grounding everyone. No tv, no Nintendo, and no cannibalism for a week! And that's final! Well...she didn't say anything about not going out...

SlySly was minding his own business, getting ready for that night's meeting of his secret society. It was like an Elks' Lodge, only with a cooler handshake and a classier dress code (draq queen casual). Just as he was stepping into his 7-inch rhinestoned stripper heels, he doubled over in pain, grabbing at his stomach. The hunger pains were incredible. It was worse than listening to that godawful song from West Side Story. Maybe he should have eaten something...but where was he going to find food at this hour? All the bimbo cheerleaders were safely tucked away in their boyfriends' beds, except that one who was trying to get into Clea DuVall's, but she was kinda stringy anyway. Sly shuffled out the door like a geisha, only half dressed and still without his Donna Summer wig. As he shuffled through the alleyways of night, bumping into garbage cans and the large raccoons occupying them, he could feel his hunger growing. He was scared that if he exuded any more repressed desire, he'd start to sparkle. Argh! And then it happened. He knew he should have given up that diet of Halloween haunted house noodles...but they just tasted sooooooo good. His body just couldn't take it anymore and tore at all the seems. A hundred easy pieces of SlySly lay scattered on the pavement, where, after the raccoons had first dibs on the rotten and decaying flesh, the old widow mad scientist that Mirth paid to keep the grounds clean dragged the remainders of Sly off, to recycle him into a love slave or something.

Meanwhile, on the other side of the grounds, hascow was doing something he knew he shouldn't have been doing. He was finally entering rehab, because, seriously, he was sick of Mirth putting him in all of these awkward situations. He really needed to sober up. Alas, someone had other plans. After seeing has slip out of his shack quietly, the stranger attacked, whacking him over the head with a opossum. After making sure hascow was good an unconscious, the assailant dragged his limp and seemingly lifeless body off into a subterranean cave. There, the attacker tied has up and, after administering the smelling salts, turned on the Lifetime brat pack marathon. "No! Not Sixteen Candles!" has tried to cry out through his gag...but it was in vain. The evildoer cackled gleefully and superglued has's eyes open so he would be forced to watch.

After a couple more hours of this torture (no, no more Pretty in Pink, please! Make it stop!) the stranger opened a secret passage in one of the cave walls, and out stepped a red head. Sure she was older now, but just as annoying, and has just couldn't take it anymore. He went feral, lunging at Molly Ringwald and tearing off his gag and aiming for her jugular. He missed, and bit off a chunk of her chin instead. Though his bovine teeth were tough enough to crush bone, he couldn't do anything about it being lodged in his throat. In his last gasps for air, he seethed hatred before collapsing in a foam-mouthed convulsion. Molly had to be taken to the hospital, but she made a full recovery despite the mad cow disease. Has was butchered and eaten by starving Ethiopian school children.

SlySly- Zombie, Silencer,

Member of the Bestest Best Friends of SlySly Society

Ran Out of Brains, Night 3
hasdgfas

CoheedCambria09

- SlySly, Cop,

Friendmaker

Choked on Molly Ringwald, Night 3

[Mirth]

It is now Day 4

[Mirth]

Votecount

Imaginality - Guinea Pigs! - [Plum, Kmd]

Plum - glam rock - [imaginality]

[Mirth]

The villagers were getting antsy and there were only three of them left...oh, how their numbers had dwindled, well, it was time to decide, try to win this horrible game, and just get out of here before they discovered something really scary in Mirth's closet...like her college art projects ~shudder~ ...and decide they did. They elected

Imaginality

Bruce

president

as their final sacrifice.

Bruce was nervous, as he had since moved on from his distinguished lecture post to greener pastures in darker lands, where he could discard that silly accent and stalk virgins in peace. Maybe be he just should have stayed in Australia.

Well, it was time to face whatever his neighbors had plotted for him. 12 year old catgirls maybe? No, that wasn't it. Porn featuring Carol and Greg Brady? Eww, no, thank Darwin. Well, it certainly wasn't sending him into space in an unpressurized capsule. It also didn't involve three-toed sloths, meat hoots, and strippers. No landmines or torts lawyers, no hair gel, no flesh eating viruses, no rabid flamingos. Hmmm...he looked around, perplexed, unsure of what they were going to unleash on him. He really hoped it wasn't a tiger, but there wasn't any place to hide one here anyway. And certainly nowhere to hide a drug fueled Naomi Campbell or that arsenic laced wine that someone made the mistake of buying off those old ladies. Hmm...No asps or vipers or secret snake pits, no homocidal female wrestlers, no LARPers or silver bullets, no crucifixes or holy water, no Keanu Reeves to ruin his movie, the world around him seemed safe at the moment.

Then he saw it...it was a middle aged German man in far too short lederhosen and those silly Bavarian-style socks. The man was the owner of a brauhaus, and they had run out of bratwurst after the morning's influx of tourists. It was time to make some more.

Bruce tried to run, but he years as a tenured professor had left him out of shape, despite his sparkly supernatural ways. And the sausage casings had been soaked in holy water. The end was slow and painful. But tasty! Who knew the vampires went so well with rot kohl?

Imaginality, Romanian, Thief, Vigilante - Made into Sausages, Day 4

[Mirth]

That was it, it was down to the two of them, Kmd and Plum, and both needed the other dead. The thrill of near victory coursed through Plum's veins, and, in her excitement, she let her true nature show: that of a shaggy, four legged beast, much like the type Elvis took to bed each evening. Plum

neighed

bahed

mooed

made llama noises in the general direction of Kmd, challenging him to come closer, left she infect him with her deadly curse.

But Kmd had other plans. He had to save all of his precious gnomes after all, and Plum was standing in his way. Well, there was one way to kill an obstinante ungulate, and no, it didn't involved high-voltage cattle prods. No, it involved something far far worse. Giving Gackt pony rides!

Plum reared back in horror, as the real-life Final Fantasy character came at her, all smiles and Engrish chattering, with a tiny, yapping sausage dog at his

?

heels. If anybody could have understood what he was saying, it would have went something like this: "Pony! Pony! Pony! Pony! Pony!" ...clearly, someone had forgotten to take his medication that morning and/or was filming some kind of insane television ad. No matter, after much poking and prodding,

Cloud

Gackt managed to mount Plum (no, not in that way, you sick smurfs!), but just as he was about to attach the reins and set off on his personal tour of the lovely bog lands of New England, Kmd did the unthinkable. He released the fangirls. Within seconds, both Plum and the superstar had been trampled underfoot of thousands of badly dressed, scarily coiffured , 15-year-old Japanese girls in 8 inch platforms and panda make-up.

Kmd was alone, and he had won.

Plum, Were Llama, Cult Recruiter - Gackted and Fangirled to Death, Endgame

Kmd, Member of the Gnome Liberation Front, Mafia Goon, Roleblocker, Won

Darox and Elvis* also win

*the mod made an error and killed Elvis by accident, so that even though Elvis did not fulfill her win condition, she wins because it's my fault she died.

[Mirth]

Mod Notes:

Night 3 choices:
has - investigation [plum] (no result, dead), friend [kmd]
sly - bite/silence [no one]
imaginality - rob[has], bite[kmd] (stealing is roleblocked)
plum - cult [imaginality] (action is roleblocked)
kmd - block[imaginality], kill [has]

Night 2 choices:
has - investigate [imaginality] friend [slysly]
elvis - search [plum] plum is blocked, action doesn't go through.
desglork - kill [elvis]
imaginality - rob [desglork], bite [has]
isacc - protect [desglork]
kmd - block [plum], kill [isacc]
plum - cult [kmd] plum is blocked
sly - bite/silence [no one]

Night choices, Night 1:
has - investigate [isacc] friend [elvis] (friending is blocked by kmd) [result randomized: guilty] (bitten by sly, silence day 2)
elvis - search [glork] (was roleblocked by KMD) - no result
glork - kill [des]
imaginality - rob [isacc], bite [sly and has] - gets pouch
isacc - protect [plum[
kmd - block [ek], kill [dahill]
plum - cult [caf] - caf chooses to keep win condition, stays town-aligned.
sly - bite/silence [has]
des - investigate [glork] [no result due to being NKed]

Extra win conditions
Darox - convince 2 people to like aquaman - complete day 1
dahill - lynch zombie - complete day 1
caf - survive 4 days - dies day 2, loses.
elvis - find lady love (plum) -

Thread is here
The roles:
caf19 - Little Kid selling lemonade, survivor/town
has/CoheedCambria09 - SlySly, town
dahill1 - David Duchovny, town
Darox - Aquaman, Mafia
elvis_knits - Don Quixote, Mafia Godfather
Glork - Alexander Pichushkin, Serial Killer
imaginality - The Romanian, Town
Isacc - Tinkerbell, town
Kmd4390 - GLF member, Mafia
Plum - Were Llama, Cult Recruiter
SlySly - Zombie, Town
destructor/ZazieR - Dschinghis Khan, Town

Plum has been randomly picked as Elvis's Lady Love.

Congratulations! You are... Mafia

The Roles:

Congratulations! You are

Alexander Pichushkin

, Serial Killer[/b].

Each night, you must send me the name of the player you wish to kill

. You are also immune to night kills, well at least from humans, anyway. But, since you're Russian,

you must type each of your posts in a "Slavic" accent

. You win when you are the last man standing.

You are also a

Libertarian

and you are dissatisfied with the voting system. As a sign of protest,

you may only vote candidates who are not on the ballot (that is scummers who are not in the game)

, because it's not like any of your candidates are ever listed anyway. You are not allowed to share your political views with the rest of the players, because as part of your personal philosophy, you don't think it's any of their business. (i.e. you can't talk about this restriction.)

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are a

Were Llama

. Once upon a time, you were an ordinary Peruvian farmer, tilling the soil and eating fried Guinea pigs to your heart's content. Then you were bitten by one of your flock of pack animals and developed a rash in your nether regions. The rash spread, turned into a bad case of pimples, and finally disappeared. You thought nothing of it, having had worse from some of the local whores. Then, one night, you started changing, turning into a horrible, shaggy, spiting beast. You had become the llama and there was no escape. Oh, how you wished you had gone to a doctor when there was still time. Now,

each night

, as you don your fluffy coat and sullen demeanor and prowl the mountains,

you must choose a human to bite

. If you are successful, you will pass your curse on to more unsuspecting people. You win when your pack of were llamas outnumber the town and there are no other anti-town factions left. You cannot communicate with your pack, since you are a Llama, though.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

a little kid selling lemonade to buy a new Hannah Montana cd

Each day you must convince at least 3 people to type

buy:lemonade

. However, if you do not convince at least 3 people to buy lemonade from you each day, you will not be able to afford your Disney-induced crack habit and will commit suicide the next day from overwrought preteen angst. You are

not allowed to tell anybody that you are a little kid

because attempting to use your cuteness to sell crappy Country Time will not be tolerated by the mod. And

you are not allowed to say what the lemonade is for or what will happen to you if you don't sell enough

. The mod does not relish the sympathy card or Hannah Montana. You win when all threats to the town are eliminated if you survive at least 4 days of gameplay. If you are nightkilled, well, I'll have to think about it.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

David Duchovny

and you have been Mulder for way way way too long. You're actually convinced there are aliens around. And you know that

SlySly

is one of them!

You must get SlySly lynched.

Your safe-claim is "Anix". You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated and you have gotten the town to lynch SlySly.

Oh, and before I forget, since your role doesn't suck enough as it is, if anything...well...beware the night. And you should probably entertain us with a conspiracy theory or two.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

Romanian

. But since most people don't actually know any actual Romanians, you are a living stereotype for the purposes of this game. As such, you

must type each post with a "Slavic" accent

. It doesn't matter than Romanian is actually a Romance language. Most people don't actually know that. Also, since you are Romanian, you are automatically a Gypsy, and therefore a

Thief. Each night you must send me the name of the person you wish to rob

. Please use the following format:

Rob:Name

. If you are successful you will get an item from the person. It may tell you something about them, it may not, I don't know. Furthermore, you are also a

Vampire. Each night you MUST send me the name of at least one person whose blood you want to drink.

Please use the following format:

Bite:Name(s)

. You might want to drain the same person/people each night or you might not. I don't know, nor do I care. Finally, since you are Romanian, you must obviously love that song by O-zone. As such,

every second post of yours may contain nothing but lyrics from Dragostea din tei

. You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

SlySly

, my

Best Friend

. Because I like you so much, each night

you may ask me the alignment of a player

. Buuuuut...you should remember our stint together in the AA before you trust everything I tell you.

Also, since you're my best friend, you should trust me blindly.

You may NOT publicly question your investigation results or suggest they may be wrong

and you should spend a few posts saying that *your* role doesn't suck.

And you're getting tired of me being your only friend, so

each night, you may send me the name of another player, and maybe they'll become your friend too.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

Tinkerbell

, and your fairy dust gives you magical

Doctor

abilities.

Each night you must choose a player to protect, and you may not protect yourself

. Sadly, you're a sprite of light and goodness (and a little mischief) so if you target an anti-town player, you will die. Also, you like to cause mischief. So

whenever you quote someone, you must attribute the quote to another player. You are not allowed to comment on this at all.

This may get you in trouble, but don't worry, the power of children's faith is strong. You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

Dschinghis Khan

, the early-80's German pop band, and you amuse me. In fact, you're in this game only to amuse me. I like youtube links, and silly pictures, and kittens. Your life may very well depend on kittens. You win when all threats to the town are eliminated.

...oh, and I forgot to mention, since I like you, you

may send me the name of a person you wish to investigate each night.

You will get results back, but since you're a pop band and not a cop, they might not mean much. By the way, you might also want to consider speaking some German. I hear that helps with the living.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are a

Zombie

and you cannot be killed. Neither lynched nor nightkilled. However, you keep falling apart on your own.

You will automatically die Night 3 from decomposing, but you are not allowed to tell the town this, but, each night that you are alive, you may send me the name of a player you wish to bite

. And you are not allowed to tell the town this or acknowledge your unkillable status because you are trying to fit in with those fragile humans. You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

Don Quixote, Mafia Godfather

. You have all immunities that go with the role (NK immunity from humans, investigate as innocent), but none of the brains or ruthlessness. You think you are a knight in shining armor and are opposed to killing of any kind. Sadly, your mafia compatriots

Aquaman (Darox)

&

GLF Member (Kmd4390)

do not know this and

you are not allowed to communicate with them outside of the game thread at any point in the game. At all. Or all three of you will be modkilled and automatically lose

. Your partners will take care of the night kills, maybe, but you can't. You may vote to lynch, if you feel like it, I don't care. Also, since you are a chivalrous knight, you must have a Lady Love.

Each night, please send me the name of a player, I will tell you if you have found your lady love.

You win when you have found your lady love and mafia numbers at least 50% of the town.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

Aquaman, Mafia Goon

. You got tired of all those nasty jokes at your expense just because your super powers are useless and you decided to join the Mafia, with

Don Quixote(Elvis_Knits)

and

GLF Member (Kmd4390)

. Sadly, after years of talking to fish, you have forgotten how to talk to humans, so

you are NOT allowed to talk to your mafia partners during the night, or outside the game thread in any way shape or form or all three of you will be modkilled and automatically lose

. But, since you are a violent individual and mafians kill by nature, each night you may send me the name of a player you wish to kill. Who knows, you might actually kill someone. You win when the mafia numbers at least 50% of the town and when you can get at least 2 non-mafians to say that Aquaman is better than Superman.

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Congratulations! You are

a member of the Gnome Liberation Front

. You are also a

Mafia Goon

. You are concerned with freeing all garden gnomes from their enslavement on the lawns of old Florida retirees, and as such, you have no time to talk with you mafia buddies (

Don Quixote (Elvis_knits) & Aquaman (Darox)

.

That is, you are NOT allowed to talk to your partners at all, not even at night, outside of the game thread. If I catch you, all three of you will be modkilled and you will automatically lose

. You may, however, each night, send me the name of a person you wish to kill for crimes against gnome-kind, and it may go through if your mafia friends don't protest. You can't talk to them about it though.

Also,

each night you may target a player to see if they have any garden gnomes on their lawn

. If they do, you'll save those poor defenseless lawn ornaments. (BTW, you don't know if your partners have gnomes, so you might want to consider checking up on them too.)

You win when mafia numbers at least 50% of the town

Failure to follow any of the rules listed above will result in you being modkilled and thus automatically losing.

Please confirm that you have read and understood your role and the rules via PM.
Thread is here

Mod Notes

-Serial Killer/Libertarian can be NKed if he is bitten by the vampire 3 nights in a row. Otherwise he is NK immune completely. Same for the Mafia Godfather.
-When the Mafia Godfather finds his Lady Love, they will become Lover-Masons. (Lady Love will be randomly assigned before the game starts with a dice roll)
-Each of the mafia goons will send in a target for the kill, and the mod will flip a coin between the two.
- GLF Member is an unknowing roleblocker. When he targets a player, that player will be too busy chasing him off their lawn to perform their night action. Additionally, any other actions targeting that player will not go through since that player will be outside on his lawn.
-If the doctor successfully targets any of the Were Llama's cult recruits, there is a 50% chance of healing that recruit. However, doctor targets don't heal the original Were Llama though they might still protect him from kills. Tinkerbell doesn't die from targetting Llamas, but she dies if she targets the SK or either of the Goons. Not the GF since he doesn't believe in killing. Thus using Tink as a death-cop role will only be partially effective.
-If Tinkerbell is lynched, before posting the lynch scene and ending the day, the mod will ask the players to clap their hands if they believe in fairies. If one person claps, Tink will not be lynched and the day will end with a no lynch.
-Dschinghis Khan will get reliable results on odd night but nonsense results on even nights. Results may not actually make sense despite accuracy. They will not be informed which results are real. They don't actually need to amuse me to survive, but it should be amusing anyway. Same for kittens and posting in German
-A Zombie bite will leave a player unable to talk the next day.
-Were Llamas can choose to win with either cult or town upon being culted, so even if cult wins, not all Were Llamas will necessarily win, though the original Were Llama will. Players will get a PM after being bitten asking "Would you like to change your win condition?" If they say yes, they will win with the Llamas. Mafia Goons cannot win with cult even if they are culted, so their culting will not go through. But the GF can since he can't kill. SK can't win with cult even if culted. Cult cannot talk, and only the original Llama will know who all the cult is, but members who agree to a change in win condition will receive notice that they have been culted.
-The Little Kid, upon being nightkilled, will trigger the killer being asked whether or not they would like to buy the remainder of the lemonade before carrying out the kill. If the killer says yes, the Little Kid will win with town postmortem. If the killer says no, the Little Kid loses automatically if the kill occurs before Day 4 and the no will act as a switch for the GLF member. GLF member will lose his ability to roleblock if the killer says no.
-If SlySly is used (only if the real Sly is in the game), the role must go to someone who isn't SlySly. The investigation results will be nonsense odd nights, and sane even nights, even if phrasing may be wonky. Friend requests will result in that person being fake culted. When they die, they will get a "Friends of SlySly Society" tag attached to their title. But they will not actually be in a cult or get any powers. This is just to confuse people about the number of cults there are and how they work.

-If the Romanian is roleblocked, only his stealing is roleblocked not his biting. If he bites 1 person 3 nights in a row, that person will die.
-David Duchovny exists for the sole purpose of entertaining me. Zombie does not need to stay dead for him to win, just needs to be lynched. A Zombie lynch does not end the day, since Zombie doesn't die anyway. As to what Duchovny has to fear at night, if he happens to be targeted by all 3 of the supernatural beings simultaneously (Were Llama, Romanian, and Zombie) he will die.
-The Godfather's lover will be determined by a random dice role before the game starts.
-The list of items the Romanian can steal (he can steal from himself):
Romanian - tambourine
Serial Killer/Libertarian - Chessboard
Lemonade Kid - Hannah Montana poster. This will cause the Lemonade Kid to need to sell 4 cups a day.
Were Llama - Coca leaves.
Don Quixote - a rusty helmet
Aquaman - fish food.
GLF Member - lots of garden gnomes
SlySly - Mirth's phone number
Tinkerbell - an empty pouch
Dschinghis Khan - a turban.
Zombie - Braaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaains
David Duchovny - Scully's Panties.

[/quote][/quote]

[Mirth]

On the Mod Screw-Up

So Night 2, when Des sent me his Elvis kill, I double checked all the other actions, but I forgot that I have made Elvis NK immune. So she died when she wasn't supposed to. Totally my fault. As an attempt to make it up to the scum team for that, I gave Kmd a 1-shot lynch immunity, since his partner should have been alive and all. Even though Elvis needed to find her Lady Love, I am giving her the win with her team because it's my fault she died.

The lesson I learned here: no more NK immune godfathers. I will forget.

On other things I let slip

-Sly had cleared his Sasquatch role claim with me, but there was a very fine line that he crossed with it, and I should have modkilled him. However, since I cleared the fake claim (I should have been paying attention more closely), I let him live.
-Because of my leniency with Sly, I also let Isaac live for misbehaving, and I let DesGlork live for also toeing the line on the claiming thing way too closely.
-Next time, I'll pay more attention to safeclaims, and Isaac has no second chances with me.

Loopholes

-Isaac found a loophole to his PR, which made me sad, I wanted to see that bit of confusion going on.
-Des (in both roles) and Kmd were great with loophole location and get major kudos from me
-Rest of you: Read your role pms closely. Though it was funny to see people thinking they had a PR when they didn't

[Mirth]

The final mindsmurf for me was me flipping vigilante - there I was thinking I was nobly playing to my win condition, when I could have gone with Plum's plan, then vidged her and won for town? Arrrghhh!

You were a 1/3 vigilante. You had to target the same person 3 nights in a row to kill them. And you were invincible to roleblocks with that option, though your thieving could be blocked. Technically, if you bit everyone 3 nights in a row, you would have auto-won for town. But you didn't know this

Why wasn't it a shared win though?

Plum recruits me on the same night I kill her. Actually, if I checked her for gnomes, I couldn't kill her if I'm a JK. And if I didn't kill, she could recruit me.

Cause Plum couldn't recruit you, and your win condition was 50%, hers was majority and getting rid of the killing roles. If she and Imaginality lynched you, she would have won, no shared win there either, though, as she would have fulfilled her win condition before night.

Oh, Imaginality, you're getting a Scummies Nom from me for your role claim ^_^

[Mirth]

Mirth, you said you'd comment on my roleclaim . . .
also, where did Kmd get the were-llama flavor? Did he make it up? Huh???

Oh, that. You were spot on with guessing what Kmd did. It amused me that you guessed.

And yeah, I don't know where Kmd got that from, lucky guess on his part.]

Imaginality also guessed correctly that Isaac was not 100% accurate. He'd only die from the 3 anti-town killing roles (the goons and the SK). The GF and the Cult Recruiter could not kill him.

[Mirth]

Oh, I should probably mention that role assignment was not completely random. I assigned the Romian, GF, and SK roles to Glork, Elvis, and Imaginality because those three were my favourite roles and three of the hardest and I wanted people who I knew would have fun with them playing and not flake or go into lurker mode from fear. (I also lucked out immensely getting Des to replace into this game, since I wanted him playing from the beginning). Plum got Cult Recruiter because I think that she's a good player and would do well with it despite the bastardliness. And also not freak out too much or flake out. Sly got Zombie as a sort of joke on my part (no, I didn't design the role just for you, but it fit you perfectly anyways). Since it would frustrate the hell out of everyone not to be able to lynch him Day 1. No offense Sly, bestest best friend of mine, but Day 1 you're like a walking Lynch target. The others were randomized.

PF: You know that you're always invited to my games, and you know I'm kind of sad I couldn't get you in this one. As it is, though, I got most of my "people I totally love" list in here, so I really have no right to complain. As for seeing your set up, well, I prefer to think of my own roles, but when I start playing again in a couple of months (I need a break from mafia when I'm done modding my current newbies), hopefully you'll run a bastard game I can join (just not marathon. I don't do marathon.) Also, I've actually got a bastard large theme in the works for the future after I take a break. It's the Animaniacs game I promised Farside (she's taking a break now too, so I feel less guilty about how much that's been pushed off). And yeah, everyone from this game is invited to play that when it finally appears, cause you guys were all great.

Sly: I was annoyed, but it was partially my fault for not censoring your fake claim as carefully as I could have. Des and Isaac could thank you for not getting modkilled cause of that too. And yeah, you know you're always welcome into my games.

[Mirth]

Plum got Cult Recruiter because I think that she's a good player and would do well with it despite the bastardliness. And also not freak out too much or flake out.

Aw, Mirth, that gave me a warm fuzzy feeling despite my crushing defeat.

You really impressed me with Mayo Clinic, so I was sure that you could handle it. Also, you can ask Des (since I spilled part of the setup to him after he died the second time), but I was rooting for you (no offense, Kmd!) I was also enjoying your freakout when you say the second "cult" That was beautiful. I kinda wish Kmd's roleblocks didn't effect the culting as much as they did, since the cult freakout wasn't as intense as I was hoping for.

I'm also a little disappointed no one lynched Elvis on the spot. I thought her role name was pretty obvious for her role. Or maybe that's just my love of the bad puns. But I really thought she would have fake claimed from paranoia.

[Mirth]

Did imaginality really have to wait for someone to post before he did? I didn't see anything implying that in his role pm.

He did not

[Mirth]

This game had a Were Llama which Elvis was chasing for love
It may have not been an alpaca but this game was made of win

This was a complete accident. I swear. I asked random.org, and it picked Plum, after I had already made Plum the CR. I guess Elvis's taste in

men

lovers is just that well known.

[Mirth]

This game had a Were Llama which Elvis was chasing for love
It may have not been an alpaca but this game was made of win

This was a complete accident. I swear. I asked random.org, and it picked Plum, after I had already made Plum the CR. I guess Elvis's taste in

men

lovers is just that well known.

Epic Lulz!

I just can't stop...

Eh, if you check Elvis's death scenes in all of my other modded games, I tend to make gratuitous use of her proclivities. She even popped up for LlamaFluff's death scene in newbie 737. I hope she and FL don't mind their constant cameos when I kill people off.

On a side note: I kinda wanna nominate Plum for a title. Maybe Elvis's Long Lost Love

[Mirth]

Yeah, its kind of a shame you died early because I didn't get to see the "oh crap, the kill I ordered didn't go through, is there a busdriver or something?" panic from scum. I would have liked to see the "scum can't night talk and don't now each others win conditions" thing in action a bit more. Hmmm...might have to do a Congratulations Redux at some point in the future.

[Mirth]

Wait..so did I still win since we "lynched" SlySly Day 1? I had the biggest smile once I found out he was unlynchable.

No. Cause your win condition was both: "You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated and you have gotten the town to lynch SlySly." If town won, you would have won. I enjoyed making the lynchee unlynchable ^_^ How long did it take you to figure it out?

Has: that may be, I panicked when I realized I screwed up with Elvis. I originally gave Kmd the choice of calling of the game or keep going.

[Mirth]

elvis - search [plum] plum is blocked, action doesn't go through.

Is this normal that a block on another player stops my action because I target them? Because that effectively blocks me...

Like if a cop investigates player a and player a is blocked, the cop still gets an investigation, right?

Kmd's role worked that it blocked the person he targeted and everyone targeting that person

[Mirth]

You could have let me recruit Plum as my new scumbuddy.

You wish. Your cult-blocking was painful enough as it was without me having to give up one of my main sources of amusement. (I like cults. Sadly I've never been in a game with one yet.)

Oh, and Imaginality was so right about that one post of mine he linked from another thread. ^___^ I'm glad someone was paying attention. (I adapted a couple of the roles I submitted to the Worst Role Ever thread, too, btw)