Welcome to the Dumpster

[Finnick]

i dont know who you are but i am proud of u

[Grouch Cop]

Ugh, fine, I have nowhere else to vent these thoughts and I should have them some place people can see them later.

Jury as a whole may not be bitter, but I'm definitely pissy. I don't want to vote for either of these finalists, not really. I was hoping that they'd give me speeches that would give me what I'm looking for and neither of them are. I know damn well that Luci can elaborate on a lot of shit that will give him a lot of credit and I can vote for, but he isn't doing that yet. His opening speech was just so goddamn vague, and that's his hugest problem right now. He told me a lot of shit and I can only help him so much. Hercule on the other hand is doing the thing he's done all game which is appease people and do the least risky thing. It's not that I think safe play is bad, but I think pulling away from the fact you know what you did was safe is bad. Own exactly what you did the good and the bad, exactly how you did it. I don't want apologies, I want straightforward "yes, I did this and it worked. and I'm not going to apologize for the fact that I did it. It was best for me and my path forward, cuz I'm here and it was my intent." that's all I want. I need them to give me intent and also passion. I want them to sound like they believe they deserve it, neither is. Do they even want it?

I also hate this format so goddamn much. Cuz I have a lot of questions that I can never fit into a specific box, because you can't break down games into only 3 parts. That's not how people play at all. It's all interconnected and you can't pull games apart like that. I also think it generalizes far too much the intent anyone has behind stuff, and it's trying to force things which are ridiculously subjective into objective boxes WHICH DON'T FIT. Sure you can shove the circle into the square, but it's not a good fit and you're missing a lot of parts which are just as important.

Also, I've felt super terrible all day, and it's also hot, so I'm grumpy in general so take this with that grain of salt.

[Grouch Cop]

Also, the more I've learned about why I went out of this game, the more pissed I am. Just.. ugh. Definitely not the endgame I wanted, not even remotely.

[Grouch Cop]

Also lol at Hercule: I didn't manipulate Grouch, I just backstabbed him.
Also Hercule: I also had doubletalk in my PMs which he could have gone back and read and realized what I was saying but not saying. And wrote him walls pretending that nothing was wrong.

Okay buddy. You didn't JUST do anything.

[Grouch Cop]

Oh Hercule, I asked the question I did because it was a test and you failed it. You've spent a lot of this TC pandering specifically to what it is you think people want from you, and I was hoping maybe you would see this question and just stick to it being one that is impossible to actually answer. Lucifer answered the question the way I wanted it to be answered. One that doesn't try to fit exactly what you think everyone wants but rather is willing to admit that their game won't fit what everyone wants, but that doesn't mean it isn't good enough on it's own.

[Grouch Cop]

So... my vote was pretty up in the air and could go either way, but there is something in the answer to me Hercule gave that lost my vote entirely.

For you, M. Grouch, I think in order for me to earn your vote, I'd 'ave to convince you zat your blindside was not only a good move for my game, but a good enough move to be worth ze brutal backstab. We were so close in ze game, and when a relationship ees severed like zat, I understand why eet might be difficult for you to cast your vote for me. 'Owever, on ze other 'and, I think you know my game extremely well and saw eet play out, both while we were together in ze game and when you were on ze Jury, and I think a lot of my gameplay 'as impressed you, so I do think zere ees still a chance. Furthermore, I know zat you respect social play, and I know zat even though I ended eet prematurely, we 'ad an extremely close relationship in ze game. So my 'ope ees zat when you cast your vote, you will remember ze good times together and look at ze game zat I played and decide zat eet ees worthy. If I did get your vote, zat would mean so so much to me, even if I ultimately still lost ze game, because of 'ow your vote would represent you being willing to look past ze betrayal. I know zat you were close to M. Morningstar, but we were close as well. I'm not sure if I 'ave earned your vote yet, but if zere ees anything you need from me in order to consider eet, I would love to provide eet.

So the first part of this is great, it's exactly the kind of thing I do consider, yes. But then... he keeps talking. Like at this point, the betrayal isn't what is keeping me from wanting to vote for him, I'm over that, I get it and it sounds like he needed to do that and I'm not torn up about it. That's whatever. But then... he brings up that he knows I'm a social player and respect social game, that is true, but then it feels like he forgets that being a social player means you recognize real fast when people are trying to heavily influence you and your emotions. The moment he brings up our close relationship and to only focus on the good times of it, that's where I'm out. I had a good relationship with both him and Lucifer, but the difference there is when I told Hercule things, he used a lot of the against me and they were part of him stabbing me. Lucifer didn't use information in a way that was bad. But that's also not what I was going to be voting for either. But Hercule also keeps talking and brings up how earning my vote would make him feel even if he lost, and that's just..... no. That's not good enough, and I won't have my heartstrings pulled on like that and be happy about it.

I've also really liked how Lucifer has handled this FTC. He has never once pretended that he did more than he actually did. He's presented his game exactly how it was, flaws and all, and has just earnestly said "this is what I've done, I'm proud of it, and I hope you vote for it. If it's not what you're looking for, that's okay too, but it's what I've done." and that kind of simple straightforwardness appeals to me quite a lot. It's incredibly raw and vulnerable in a way that I admire. I'd rather have that than be told exactly what people think I want to hear and be pandered to. So, unless something huge happens before voting starts, I know where I am voting now and I am content in that.