1043 Spontaneous Bastard Mafia: Game Over

[zwetschenwasser]

Hear ye, hear ye, I smell the blood of a Victorian transsexual!

Welcome to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia, where your dreams can come true, and your nightmares can also come true! Enjoy the game, don't make me modkill you, and expect the unexpected, and perhaps you'll live to tell the tale!

Players Alive, in Some Sense of the Word

Tangion

Fate, Won!

animorpherv1

SpyreX, Died and Won!

vezokpiraka

smargaret, got endgamed before he tasted death. How sad.

Players Who Have Tasted Death
Parama, Miss Universe,

Imposed Neutral Survivor

,

Mafia Unlynchability Switch Godfather, Lynched and Modkilled Day 1
Pomegranate, Julia Roberts, Townie Informant, killed Night 1
CooLDoG, [REDACTED], killed Day 2
tanstalas, Desdemona, Townie Incompetent Matchmaker, lynched Day 2
pacman281292, Lord Voldemort, Townie Vigilante and Spontaneity Creator, killed Day 1 and Night 2
Zang, Mr. Hyde, Mafia Census Distributor, killed Night 2
rewq455, Gustav Mahler, Mafia Townie After the Mod's Own Heart, died the morning after he was lynched
ZONEACE, Uchiha Madara, Neutral Survivor, Toyer with Minds, killed Day 3
Tasky, Falafel, Townie One-Shot Roleblocker, lynched Day 5
zwetschenwasser, The Ides of March, Neutral Survivor, Day Vig, Even Reviver, Role Concealer, Bastard Mod, killed Night 5
Reckamonic, Reckamonic, Neutral Ghost Player Neighbor, removed from game Night 5
Magicman, The Mod's Alt, Neutral Ghost Wincon Usurper Reviver Neighbor, removed from game Night 5

[zwetschenwasser]

The Rules

1. No abusive behavior (this includes ad hom, flaming, and other such nonsense). Though I love my setup and each role is beautifully handcrafted, rest assured that I can and will modkill you if you upset me. In fact, the knowledge that I had to modkill one of my beautiful handcrafted roles because of jackassery will earn you a permanent ban from my future games and my undying anger. So don't be stupid.

2. This game plays like normal mafia, as far as you know, and you don't really need me to explain how to vote and such. However, I will not be posting the number of players required to lynch somebody in votecounts, and don't expect normal mod posts (obviously).

3.[REDACTED]

4. Play to win or GTFO. I mean it. Really.

5. Unless your role explicitly contradicts this rule, you may not post AT ALL once you die. No "Bah" post, no nothing. Post restrictions are not lifted upon death.

And that's it! Have fun killing and who knows what else to each other!

[zwetschenwasser]

It is now confirmation phase. Let's mambo!

[zwetschenwasser]

not anymore! /confirm

[zwetschenwasser]

any questions about roles can be directed to my moderator aspect.

[zwetschenwasser]

Don't forget that there may be mechanics triggered for ANYTHING in this game. That includes voting during the confirmation phase.

[zwetschenwasser]

pacman281292 has been modkilled. He was a [REDACTED]. Carry on

[zwetschenwasser]

Sorry, dude, I'm serious. You can have one more bah post, though.

[zwetschenwasser]

Sorry, dude, I'm serious. You can have one more bah post, though.

Bad zwet! Sorry pacman, that was the practical joker zwet. Word to the wise. If you see me posting in blue, it's probably fake. Any other color is a real mod post.

[zwetschenwasser]

Well, since people want to vote in the confirmation stage, might as well join in.

Vote: pacman

[zwetschenwasser]

I think vezok is trying to use morse code, but I could be wrong.

[zwetschenwasser]

If rewq, ani, and the other guy who hasn't confirmed don't post within the next 48 hours they will be replaced, as rewq and parama have both picked up their role PMs.

[zwetschenwasser]

Rule #5 added, effective immediately

[zwetschenwasser]

Well, I'm getting slightly impatient. So I'm starting the day without the stragglers. Begin Day 1

[zwetschenwasser]

START OF DAY VOTECOUNT
pacman(1)-pacman
vezokpiraka(1)-vezokpiraka
zwetschenwasser(1)-zwetschenwasser
CooLDog(1)-CooLDog
tanstalas(1)-tanstalas

Not Voting: everyone else

[zwetschenwasser]

I'm definitely a player. I'm not trying to hide it from anyone, as I'm also on the player list. And my vote counts and everything!

Unvote; Vote: tanstalas

[zwetschenwasser]

In light of recent game play I have decided to remove ALL post restricting attributes ON ALL ROLES. This will be effective as of now.

[zwetschenwasser]

POST 66 VOTECOUNT
pacman(3)-Zang, rewq455, tanstalas
vezokpiraka(1)-vezokpiraka
Pomegranate(1)-animorpherv1
CooLDog(1)
tanstalas(2)-pacman, zwetschenwasser

Not Voting: everyone else

[zwetschenwasser]

Caution is a good thing in bastard mod games. That goes for you too, parama

[zwetschenwasser]

What makes you think that just because I'm a mod player I automatically have to be scum?

[zwetschenwasser]

For the record, I also think that the mod is lying when he posts in bolded colors other than red, but that might just be me trying to mess with you guys. .

[zwetschenwasser]

The tag shows

, so I think he means it. zet wouldn't have used color tag since the average letter is black-ish anyway.

Well when vote/unvote boy gets in here and posts we can see for certain If Vezok wants to take that chance. Some people consider black an "absence of color" or a "shade"..

I'm just looking at the title of the game and being overly cautious

OH please do not modkill me, oh great and powerful reincarnation of purity and virtue. I will revere you, I will cast aside my clothes and follow you. Be mine, and I shall give up my very soul to further your own perfect ends. And when I see the glory of your hippopotamus at the end of time, I shall be happy, and stab myself in the genitals for you. I love you.

Well this is slightly creepy

[zwetschenwasser]

@tans: It's called a tag fail. It happens.

[zwetschenwasser]

So Reckamonic's a fake too, huh? I think I have enough randomness to take care of without worrying about playing an alt at the same time.

[zwetschenwasser]

Mod Scene forthcoming

[zwetschenwasser]

tanstalas was happily skipping along, minding his own business. He stopped to sniff the flowers, and went on his merry way.

NOTHING HAS HAPPENED. Carry on.

[zwetschenwasser]

I think that Parama is lying about his PR.

[zwetschenwasser]

Sorry guys for any delays over the next few days, as my family is in the process of moving from Florida to Seattle. I'm posting from my phone for the short future, so thanks for your patience! Votecount coming soon (hopefully).

[zwetschenwasser]

From now on one may not fake-claim. If you rule forbids you to role-claim you may no longer claim. Penalty is instant mod-kill.

[zwetschenwasser]

I think someone forced the mod to say such horrible things.

[zwetschenwasser]

God damn you people can't you tell when people force me to post lies?

[zwetschenwasser]

All post restrictions are now re-applied to all of the roles that have them

Cooldog made me say it! Help please help!

[zwetschenwasser]

Cooldog is a Liar VOTECOUNT
pacman(5)-Zang, rewq455, tanstalas, ZONEACE, CooLDoG
Pomegranate(1)-animorpherv1
CooLDog(1)
tanstalas(4)-pacman, zwetschenwasser, Pomegranate, vezokpiraka
Parama(1)

Not Voting: everyone else

[zwetschenwasser]

I recant all statements that I made about CooLDoG. He is in no way forcing me to post.

[zwetschenwasser]

Grrr I hate you cooldog.

Unvote; Vote: CooLDoG

[zwetschenwasser]

Guys I hope you realize you just gave the hammer opportunity to a mod who's meta is to hammer without thinking.

[zwetschenwasser]

Role confirm VOTECOUNT

Not Voting: everyone else

[zwetschenwasser]

If it wasn't clear from the votecount, all votes have been reset.

[zwetschenwasser]

Chaos time!

Daykill: pacman

[zwetschenwasser]

mod scene forthcoming.

[zwetschenwasser]

The town muttered and sputtered. They squabbled and dabbled. But still they had nothing to do! Thankfully, God was there to do the dirty work in his special confusing way!

Pacman has been killed. He was a [REDACTED]. Votecount has been reset. Day continues.

[zwetschenwasser]

This is everyone's final warning. No bah posts are allowed in this game.

[zwetschenwasser]

I will be sending prods tomorrow if the lurkers don't start posting more.

[zwetschenwasser]

You know, I really didn't think I'd have to do this. Out of interest for Parama's faction, I will count the modkill as a day-ending modkill.

Parama, Miss Universe, Mafia Unlynchability Switch Godfather turned Neutral Survivor, has been lynched and modkilled for unsportsmanlike conduct. It is now Night 1. Deadline for actions is Sunday, September 12th.

[zwetschenwasser]

Dawn dawns on this strange, small town. Its inhabitants blink and see purple stars floating like caterpillars on dewy leaves in the high heavens. A Mahler Symphony plays fiendishly in the distance, acting as a strange soundtrack to the rebirth of life after nature's most perfect little deaths, sleep and sex. However, nature still had her own tricks to play.

zwetschenwasser, [REDACTED], was dunked into the water of a cliff Night 1
Pomegranate, Julia Roberts, Townie Informant, was caught off-guard Night 1
zwetschenwasser, [REDACTED], was reborn Night 1
pacman281292, [REDACTED], was reborn Night 1

It is now Day 2. Fate replaces Tangion. Deadline is approaching in the near or distant future. With 11 alive it will take ??? to lynch. Begin!

[zwetschenwasser]

A mechanic has been disabled. Carry on.

[zwetschenwasser]

One fish two fish red fish blue fish one fish one fish one fish TWO OTHER FISH

[zwetschenwasser]

I think that vezok was supposed to die last night.

[zwetschenwasser]

Post 308 Votecount:
pacman(1)-Zang
tanstalas(3)-CooLDoG, Fate, brianj
CooLDoG(1)-pacman
Zang(1)-vezokpiraka
Fate(2)-animorpherv1, tanstalas

Fate Counter- 1 down, 9 to go

[zwetschenwasser]

I don't think anyone noticed, but vezok tried morse in the beginning of the game, and I edited it shamelessly.

[zwetschenwasser]

Fate Votes Counter is Still At 1, 9 to go.

[zwetschenwasser]

MOD SCENE
pacman281292 was happily strolling along. He came across an abandoned mine that promised the glories and powers of Minerva herself. He, of course, didn't know what he was dealing with, so he went along his merry way, a little bit more pressed for time.

Fate Count is 1, 9 to go.

[zwetschenwasser]

Cooldog wants me to post something else. Should I?

[zwetschenwasser]

I hope all of you have been having a nice day so far. However, I see the need to change a dynamic. The Next player who votes for zang or votes on the largest bandwagon will automatically sign the census. Thank you and have a wonderful day.

[zwetschenwasser]

Fate Vote Count: 2 down, 8 to go

[zwetschenwasser]

Why would I tell you whether or not you can vote Magicman? I think there's a precedent when someone tried it before, if you guys are willing to go and check yourselves.

[zwetschenwasser]

Fate Counter is 8, 2 to go

[zwetschenwasser]

Post 395 Vote Count!
pacman281292(1)-Zang
tanstalas(3)-CooLDoG, Fate, brianj
CooLDoG(1)-pacman281292
Zang(1)-vezokpiraka
Fate(3)-animorpherv1, tanstalas
vezokpiraka(1)

fATE cOUNTER iS aT 8, 2 tO gO!

zwetschenwasser is considering who to dayvig today. Any suggestions?

[zwetschenwasser]

I guess I don't affect the Fate counters.

What makes you say that?

[zwetschenwasser]

MOD SCENE
pacman thought to himself, "What a wonderful world it would be if everyone could smell the roses and write poems about them." He looked up at the sky, still thinking this, and quickly ducked out of the way of a lightning bolt that streaked down at that exact moment.

Fate Counter is at 9, 1 to go. Carry on.

[zwetschenwasser]

and I'm going to random.org to pick today's dayvig if nobody gives me suggestions. I'm serious!

[zwetschenwasser]

WTF why didn't it work this time?
@MOD: Are you a compulsory vig?

No, but I like Dayvigs. I'm a neutral survivor, though. Perhaps we can bargain?

[zwetschenwasser]

EBWOP: and what do you mean by "bargaining" ?

I won't kill in exchange for you guys not lynching/NKing me for as long as you'd like to agree upon.

[zwetschenwasser]

the person who tried to NK me last night, of course. Didn't you see the start of day post?

[zwetschenwasser]

Daykill: CooLDoG

[zwetschenwasser]

Cooldog may post until I return home to do the mod scene

[zwetschenwasser]

The sun was shining o'er the sea, shining with all his might!
Two lovers joined their faces lined above the sand so bright!
He cupped her breast, her fateful dress, so supple, sweet, and tight,
and looked around, the vorpal blade galumphing off his sight!

CooLDoG, [REDACTED], has been killed Day 2. Day continues.

[zwetschenwasser]

rewq555 has received 7 post violations for post 451. Mod scene will be triggered upon 3 more rewq555 posts.

The Fate counter is at 9, 1 to go.

[zwetschenwasser]

Starkiller: I am no longer your pawn!

*scroll clatters on the imperial floor*

[zwetschenwasser]

Mod scene forthcoming in a few hours.

[zwetschenwasser]

A strange surge of power radiates around Fate as he casts his last die: "TANSTALAS 10" in fiery red letters. A secret message arrives for Fate, from the gods themselves, that reveal his future, and the sands of time's own secrets.

VOTE COUNT RESET. Day continues.

[zwetschenwasser]

Even Shakespeare's plays usually had lovers in them.

Mod Scene forthcoming.

Vezokpiraka Count: 0, 1 to go

[zwetschenwasser]

FLOOOOMA FLOOOOMA FOOO FAKS ITS BLUES!! NOOO MUST SEE JAPANESE TECH SPECIALIST!

rewq555, Gustav Mahler, Townie After the Mod's Own Heart, has been modkilled. Day continues. Votecount reset.

[zwetschenwasser]

animorpherv1 has been prodded. I'm tired at the moment, so if someone else needs prodding, please let me know. I'll actually check tomorrow or the next day.

[zwetschenwasser]

vezokpiraka has been prodded.

[zwetschenwasser]

Replacing those who need to be replaced, and getting slightly pissed off at pacman.

[zwetschenwasser]

THE USELESS VOTECOUNT
Zang(2)-pacman281292, Fate
Fate(1)-Zang

To pacman, I got slightly upset at your suggestion to abandon the game, whether or not you intended it as a joke.

VEZOKPIRAKA COUNT: 0, 1 to go

I'm considering a massprod, but I don't want to have to do one.

[zwetschenwasser]

Ooh should I hammer

[zwetschenwasser]

I Will check later, but probable mod scene forthcoming.

[zwetschenwasser]

Night falls slowly on the windy streets of Hogsmeade. Suddenly, four people apparate on the street! They squabble and sway, slither and slink, and hoist tanstalas on a Shakespearian stage, complete with gallows. Tanstalas, hoping to play a part in the joke, holds a dagger to his neck and laughs, but an invisible hand slashes the air and cleaves the night sky with the earsplitting scream of a severed neck.

tanstalas, Desdemona, Townie Incompetent Matchmaker, has been lynched Day 2. It is now Night 2. Please submit actions by the end of Sunday.

[zwetschenwasser]

SpyreX replaces animorpherv1. smargaret replaces vezokpiraka. Which reminds me that the vezokpiraka count FAILED, and no abilities were triggered by it. [REDACTED] has come into effect, which allows me to tell you that Rule SPONT3 is in effect.

Rule SPONT3: players may post in-thread at night today. this rule will not be documented

Night action deadline is still midday Sunday.

[zwetschenwasser]

Rule SPONT4 has come into effect.

[zwetschenwasser]

Day starts in the next 15 minutes while I get my notes sorted out. In the meantime, brianj has requested replacement and I might (just might) have one soon

[zwetschenwasser]

Synapses fired and small red people ran around the mulberry bush. Some guy got caught streaking and was taken off the ballot list. Other strange falafelish things happened that few people can describe the awesomeness of, but in the end, someone's body count turned out to be wrong.

pacman281292, Lord Voldemort, Townie Vigilante and Spontaneity Creator, has been rapekilled Night 2
Zang, Mr. Hyde, Mafia Census Distributor, has been deadlycursed Night 2
smargaret (who replaced vezokpiraka), [REDACTED], has been dreammurdered Night 2

rewq455 has been reborn Night 2

There are 6 players alive!
Begin Day 3!

[zwetschenwasser]

ACTIVITY I WANTS IT

[zwetschenwasser]

WAIT I STILL HAVE TO DAYKILL SOMEBODY

[zwetschenwasser]

CooLDoG, is there a reason you're blatantly breaking my rules?

[zwetschenwasser]

Brianj has been replaced by someone who hasn't posted yet for some unknown reason. Carry on

[zwetschenwasser]

Prodding my supposed replacement. Sigh. I'll be massprodding tomorrow.

[zwetschenwasser]

Tasky replaces brianj

[zwetschenwasser]

The 619 Votecount!

zwetschenwasser(1)
Fate(2)-rewq455
rewq455(3)-SpyreX, Fate, Tasky

And imma gonna daykill AND hammer within the next 24 hours.

[zwetschenwasser]

Hey! I didn't get to daykill today. Damn. Mod scene forthcoming.

[zwetschenwasser]

ZONEACE flushed with excitement. AT LAST, he cried, we have discovered manna from heaven! I will spear it on a stick and tempt my concubines with it and then I will eat it off their breasts in bed!

Too bad the manna was actually dried doxy droppings.

ZONEACE, Uchiha Madara, Neutral Survivor, Toyer with Minds, has been supersainted? Day 3

rewq455, Gustav Mahler, Mafia Townie After the Mod's Own Heart, died tragically the following morning

It is now Night 3. Please send in actions within 48 hours.

[zwetschenwasser]

And because I feel like it, you may talk at night again.

[zwetschenwasser]

I'm considering modkilling Tasky for making me lose the game.

Day start forthcoming.

[zwetschenwasser]

YAWN! and it seems that you're not the only ones who rose from your beds this morning.

No one has been killed.

smargaret has rejoined the game!

There are five players alive. Begin Day 4!

[zwetschenwasser]

The day was short and sweet. The mod wanted you to keep posting like mad, so he kept the thread unlocked.

It is now Night 4. A No Lynch was agreed upon. Please submit actions in 48 hours. You may continue to post in thread.

[zwetschenwasser]

Awww

[zwetschenwasser]

Yes, joy and the fact that night actions must be in by tomorrow.

[zwetschenwasser]

Well, since I feel like it, I disclose to you that there were no night actions, and that it is still possible for the mod to win.

[zwetschenwasser]

A night passed, with the deadline passing before anyone could mutter any creeping suspicions.

Nothing has happened. Begin Day 5!

[zwetschenwasser]

Vote: Tasky

quickhammer gogogo

[zwetschenwasser]

695 Votecount

Tasky(2)-Fate, zwetschenwasser

There are 5 players alive!

[zwetschenwasser]

or me

[zwetschenwasser]

Oh noes! You killed tasky!

[zwetschenwasser]

The waves, they clashed, the sea, it burned, and Barnaby, the barnaby, he fled, he sang, he cried.

Tasky, Falafel, Townie One-Shot Global Roleblocker, was castrated and choked with his genitalia day 5.

It is now Night 5. Please send me actions within 48 hours. Note that even if I don't post the day start scene in 48 hours, I won't accept any actions past the deadline.

[zwetschenwasser]

And once upon a midnight clear the gallavanting promise of horse-bride shoe lent haste to the mod to wreak havoc and die, but no one could have seen this one coming.

zwetschenwasser, The Ides of March, Neutral Survivor, Day Vigilante, Even Reviver, Role Concealer, Bastard Mod, was sliced up Night 5
Reckamonic, Reckamonic, Neutral Ghost Player Neighbor, was removed from game Night 5
Magicman, The Mod's Alt, Neutral Ghost Win Con Usurper Reviver Neighbor, was removed from game Night 5

It is now Day 6. There are three players remaining. It will take 2 to lynch. Begin!

[zwetschenwasser]

I bet you thought it would be impossible to win with a screwy wincon like yours, huh?

[zwetschenwasser]

and Fate NKed me, and in doing so made all three of us lose (Reck, Magic, and me).

[zwetschenwasser]

END OF GAME SCENE FORTHCOMING!

[zwetschenwasser]

The purple sun dawned twice once more, and the zombie apocalypse shuddered and swayed like a loaded gun. It looked at me with a yellow eye, and rolled me into its ball of flame. I died a little that night, passing through subterfuge and a couple of rusty muskets. I leaped from the sitting room and saw a little light, and the night she passed by like a choir boy's hide.

SpyreX, Mal from Inception, Neutral Jester Limited Serial Killer Cult Recruiter, committed holy suicide Day 6
smargaret, King Lear, Townie Old Fool, endgamed Day 6

Fate, Dr. Seuss, Mafia Loner, along with Zang and a pre-day 1 Parama (the Mafia), and SpyreX, have won Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

Note that rewq455 did indeed switch back to the town faction after his death, so he lost like a loser. (love ya rewq).

Roles forthcoming!

[zwetschenwasser]

PLAYERS
X1.Pomegranate-Julia Roberts
2.Tangion/Fate-Dr. Seuss
X3.Zang-Mr Hyde
4.vezokpiraka/smargaret-King Lear
X5.Parama-Miss Universe
X6.tanstalas-Desdemona
X.CooLDoG-Cyanide & Happiness
X8.brianj/Tasky-Falafel
X9.pacman281292-Lord Voldemort
X10.ZONEACE-Uchiha Madara
X11.rewq455-Gustav Mahler
12.animorpherv1/SpyreX-Mal
X13.zwetschenwasser-Ides of March
14.Reckamonic-Reckamonic
15.Magicman-Mod’s Alt
Lord Voldemort (Townie Vigilante, Spontaneity Creator [can PM the mod a statement. If statement does not break the game/setup, it will come true], Group A)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Lord Voldemort of a parallel universe, imbued since birth with remarkable magical powers, which you use to cleanse the world of rulemakers, rulebreakers, and anything else with the word "rule" in it.

You are a Townie Vigilante, Spontaneity Creator.

Your abilities are:

Avada Kedavra: Every night, you may PM me a target. That target will die the following dawn if your action is not stopped in some way.

Fanfiction Transmogrifying Powers: For a maximum of 5 times in the game, you may PM me a statement. If I deem that the statement will not ruin the game or break the setup/my intentions for the setup, the statement will come true. For example, I would probably deem the statement "Everyone gets a double vote on day 4." acceptable, as opposed to "The entire town faction is unlynchable today.".

You win with the Town faction.

You are a member of Group A. Confirm by posting in-thread. Have fun!


Cyanide & Happiness (Neutral Modposter, Survivor, Odd-Night Nexus, Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Cyanide and Happiness, zwetschenwasser's second favorite internet fad! As a screwed up creation of genius, you have awesome hacking powers that you use for good, or whatever your perception of good is in this mindfuck world.

You are a Neutral Survivor, Modposter, Odd-Night Nexus

Your abilities are:

Blow Everyone's Mind with Symbolic Philosophy: You may PM me posts at any time during the day or night, as many times as you like, with whatever content you like, which I will then post in-thread at earliest convenience. Be wary, though. I am a bastard mod, and may get ANGRY if you abuse your power too much (and you really don't want that).

Odd Redirect: On odd numbered nights, you may PM me the name of a player. Any ability that would affect you that night will instead be redirected to the player you selected.

You win if you survive to the end of the game.

You are a member of Group B. Confirm in thread. Have fun!


Miss Universe (Mafia Unlynchable Switch Godfather, Buddha fakeclaim, Group A)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Miss Universe, the one entity in the world most adept at turning guys and Lesbians on to the max! Luckily for you, you have no brains, so when the world's most fearsome villains requested your services, you consented and pulled out the gun hidden in your bra.

You are a Mafia Unlynchability Switch Godfather, a member of the mafia along with [playername], Mr. Hyde, the Mafia Census Distributor.

Your abilities are:

Looks to Kill: Every night you may target a player. If your action is not stopped in any way, that player will die the following dawn.

Power of Lust (Passive Ability): Every day you automatically select half of the players to be unlynchable that day. You have no control over which half you select, but you know that the game will start with the players in "Group B" as unlynchable.

Puppy Dog Face: You are immune to any investigative abilities.

You know that Buddha is not in the game.

You may converse with your partner in this quicktopic: http://www.quicktopic.com/44/H/w5TgAY3KWnrg

You win when all threats to the Mafia are eradicated.

You are a member of Group A. Confirm in-thread. Have fun!
Mr. Hyde (Mafia Census Distributor [the number of surveys returned to the mod are the number of votes the player has], Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Mr. Hyde, the evil, twisted half of the personality that changed modern literature forever! You have no idea why you exist, so you have come up with a clever plan to succeed in this strange world: poll people about important issues, then kill them! MUHAHAHAHA.

You are a Mafia Census Distributor, a member of the Mafia along with [playername], Miss Universe, the Mafia Godfather Unlynchability Switch.

Your abilities are:

Large Dissecting Knife: Every night you may decide with your partner one person to target for a kill. Your partner will send the kill in. If she dies, you gain this authority.

Be the Government: Every night you may send the following PM to a maximum of five players.
Hi! I'm taking a census. Could you PM the mod this sentence for me?
"I am a banana creme pie from hell." Thanks!
Each response I receive will give you an extra vote the following day.

You win once all threats to the Mafia have been eradicated.

You may converse with your partner at the following quicktopic link: http://www.quicktopic.com/44/H/w5TgAY3KWnrg

You are a member of Group B. Please confirm in thread. Have fun!
Julia Roberts (Townie Informant [reveals ability names of the previous night], knows that half the players are unlynchable every day, Group A)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername] to Spontaneous Bastard Mod Mafia!

You are Julia Roberts, the gorgeous actress found in such powerful movies as Ocean's 11 and Erin Brockovich! In this world, however, your mind has been warped into the position of one of the characters you play, namely Claire Stenwick of Duplicity. Your spy skills may come in handy here...

You are a Townie Informant, with the following abilities:

Sexy Espionage: If you wish it, once per day/night cycle, you may PM me the words "Spy, baby, spy!", upon which I will post the names of all abilities that have been used from the beginning of the day until the time I receive your PM. Note that this will include the disclosure of your own ability name.

Crumpled Speech from the Mod (passive): You have found a note explaining how some being named zwetschenwasser has spawned a devious mechanic that will make half of all the players in the game unlynchable every day. Should you push for a massclaim? Should you hold your tongue? Decisions, decisions.

You win with the town.

You are a member of Group A. Confirm in-thread. Have fun!
Mal, from Inception (Neutral Jester SK Limited Cult Recruiter, has to fulfill all win conditions [kill at least 2 players, recruit at least 2 players, and get lynched] to win, Group A [mod note: Mal becomes a ghost upon death, and can continue working towards win condition. She will be informed of this only if one of her kills is revived by the mod at any point in the game)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Mal, from Inception, the projection of the wife our screwed up/awesome protagonist created to keep his memories of his real? wife alive forever and ever and ever and ever... Of course, since you live in limborealitylimboetc, you don't actually know if you're real or not. But now that your lover has gone on to embrace a different version of reality, you will create your own world. One where your lack of purpose will not haunt you till your dying day.

You are a Neutral Jester Limited Serial Killer Cult Recruiter.

You have the following abilities:

Screwy Reality Check: Once per night, you may send me the name of a player to eradicate from this reality. If your action is not blocked, the player will be killed the following dawn. However, you may only kill a total of two players successfully. If you attempt to kill more, you may get me ANGRY ARRGH (which you don't want).

Even Screwier Reality Uncheck: Once per night, you may send me the name of a player to join your cause of questioning reality. These players will gain the win condition of allowing you to fulfill your win condition (PM me for clarification) on top of their own factional win condition. However, you may only recruit a maximum of two players successfully. If you attempt to recruit more, you may get me ANGRIER RAWR (which you also don't want).

You win if you accomplish ALL of the following:
1)You succeed in killing two players in the game (whether or not they come back to life).
2)You succeed in recruiting two other players to your "cult"
3)You are lynched

Confirm in thread. You are a member of Group A. Have fun!
King Lear, Townie Old Fool (Receives copy of the setup and the people they’re attached to, cannot post, only vote, Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are King Lear, the forsaken tragic hero of Shakespeare's most powerful play, and quite possibly the most idiotic ass-who's-also-not-an-ass ever to stumble across English literature. You just can't see what's staring you in the face! Anyway, hopefully you can do some good in this strange land.

You are a Townie Old Fool.

You have the following abilities:

Omniscience! Almost.:You have complete knowledge of the setup and the players that correspond to which role. In fact, here it is, nice and pretty for you:
//setup//
However, as you can see, one small/big portion of the setup has been hidden away from your peeping eyes. Is it important? What can it do? Will it tell you anything? That's for you to decide!

Yes, the Mod's a Bastard (passive): You may not post any words, phrases, or sentences other than Vote: [playername] and Unvote.

You win with the town.

You are a member of Group B, but you already knew that.

Confirm in thread with a vote, not a /confirm. Have fun!
Dr. Seuss (Mafia Loner, has no knowledge of partners, has no NK, can join mafia if targeted as the NK, but will die at the end of the day after recruitment unless a global roleblock is unleashed, Group A)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Dr. Seuss, the popular and revered children's author who now is licking the carpet somewhere far away from Horton and his lovable pals. Thankfully, now that you're dead you can drop the pretense and embrace your inner hatred of rhymes and small children.

You are a Mafia Loner.

You have the following abilities:

Ignorance is Bliss: You have no idea who your partners are, or if you even have partners, or if they know you exist. This may change, of course. Until then, (if then even exists), hang tight! You also have no ability to kill or alter anything in the game, other than your vote.

You win when all threats to the Mafia are eradicated.

You are a member of Group A. Confirm in thread. Have fun!
Falafel (Townie 1-shot Roleblocker, can stop all day actions once in the game, Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Falafel, the delicious Greek dish. You drive everyone crazy with your badass flavor and the culture that perfected. Now go off and be a badass!

You are a Townie 1-shot Global Roleblocker.

Your abilities are:

Damn that's Good!: Once per game, at any time, you may send me the signal to trigger a global roleblock. The roleblock will cancel any and all actions sent in from the moment you send the PM in until the end of the next night cycle. e.g., if you send the signal two minutes before my announced deadline for night to end, you probably won't end up blocking anything.

You win with the town.

You are a member of Group B. Confirm in thread. Have fun!
Uchiha Madara (Neutral Survivor, can modkill once per game after day 1, can reveal the following phrases through the mod, but knows which ones will help the town:

“One fish two fish red fish blue fish one fish one fish one fish TWO OTHER FISH [helps scum, if Dr. Seuss votes mod immediately after this post he will become permanently unlynchable], Group A)

“Shakespeare’s plays usually had lovers in them” [helps town, if Lear votes and unvotes Desdemona ten times on the same day he will gain the ability to speak and quote his role PM]

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Uchiha Madara, the evil mastermind of the Naruto series who still has not revealed his true intentions. Since we can't say for sure that world domination is your number one priority, you are free to be perfectly equipped to wreak havoc on the world with your strange universe sucking immortality powers. Bwahahaha!

You are a Neutral Survivor, Toyer with Minds.

You have the following abilities:

Deity Replication: Once in the game, you may send me the name of a player and whatever flavor you'd like me to use. That player will be modkilled for either an arbitrary or flavorful reason the following morning.

Extra, Extra, Read All About It!: You may PM me the signal to post one of the following two statements as an official mod notice. You also know what factions these statements will benefit.

"Shakespeare's plays usually had lovers in them." Town

“One fish two fish red fish blue fish one fish one fish one fish TWO OTHER FISH." Mafia

You win if you live to the end of the game, or nothing can prevent the same.

You are a member of Group A. Confirm in thread. Have fun!
Magicman (zwetschenwasser) –Mod’s Alt (Neutral Ghost Wincon Usurper Reviver Neighbor)

Role PM
Welcome, Magicman, to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are the Mod's Alt, a screwy twist of fate designed to infiltrate the hearts and minds of both your real counterpart's players and the mechanics he designed to screw with them.

You are a Neutral Ghost Wincon Usurper Reviver Neighbor, a member of Ghost Town along with Reckamonic. You may converse with Reckamonic via PM.

You have the following abilities:

Be a Jackass: Up to 15 times per game day, you may post and vote in the game thread, but you must use the heading "THREADJACK" before your post or be modkilled.

Be a Bigger Jackass: You may not be lynched or targeted by any ability, except for modkills.

Be an Awesome Jackass: You may revive up to two players throughout the game, via mental telepathy with the mod.

You win if you successfully play a part in the sabotage of the mod's or Reckamonic's win condition(s).

You do not belong to a group. You need not confirm. Have fun!
{redacted in role PM to Lear}


Desdemona, Townie Incompetent Matchmaker (can target one person once in game, if the person is neutral he/she will join the town as a treestump, Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Desdemona, the once-lover of the handsome Othello, who killed you after being twisted and manipulated by the evil Iago. Now that you are dead and reborn in this world, you think not of vengeance, but of love for all the good souls who have been blinded by evil and cannot know true love. You will bring love to the world, the love you had and lost!

You are a Townie Incompetent Matchmaker.

You have the following abilities:

eHarmony Trial Run: Once in the game, you may target a player. If the player's faction is "Neutral", he/she will become a Townie Treestump (i.e. the player does not count as a player in determining antitown factional win conditions, cannot vote, can post, cannot be killed, and wins with the town).

You win with the town.

You are a member of Group B.

Confirm in thread. Have fun!
Gustav Mahler, Townie After the Mod’s Heart (Supersaint, Jack-of-all-Trades, Modposter, can change alignment via PM once per day/night cycle [mod note, on the fourth alignment change he/she is modkilled as a neutral survivor], Group A)

Role PM

Welcome, [playername], to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Gustav Mahler, one of the most brilliant composer-conductors of all time. Your reputation shifted several times in your life (particularly in your wife's eyes), and you were hated and loved by different halves of the world. Now you have another chance to make anything right, and since when has genius failed to mean power?

You are a Townie After the Mod's Own Heart.

You have the following abilities:

Symphony No. 8-Supersaint: If you would be lynched, instead the player who cast the hammer vote will die. You will then die by a terrible accident the following morning.

Symphony No. 2-Jack-of-all-Trades: Once a night, you may use one of four abilities-investigation, kill, protect, roleblock.

Das Lied von Erde-Modposter: Up to 15 times in the game, you may send me a message to display to the town. I will not be able to edit these messages at all once you send it in.

Symphony No. 5-Switcharoo: You may change your alignment from town to mafia and back again once per day/night cycle. Note that if you abuse your ability and/or use it too much, I may modkill you, so don't be greedy (this is a real warning).

You win with the Town.

You are a member of Group A.

Confirm in thread. Have fun!
zwetschenwasser -The Ides of March, Neutral Survivor, Day Vigilante, Day Reviver, Role Concealer, Bastard Mod (bastard mod can change deadlines at will, create and revise and redact rules, posts, and information at will, revive ability is only available one-time on even days, role concealment is a passive ability activated upon the use of the following abilities:
)Ides of March day vig
)Mal Dreamkill
, Group B)

Role PM

Welcome, zwetschenwasser, to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are the Ides of March, the deadly fateful day on which "Et tu, brute?" became a famous line in literature (well, not really, but you know what I mean, seeing as you're me, etc. etc.). You are here to wreak havoc and destroy the world, or just live to see half of it destroy the other half.

You are a Neutral Survivor, Day Vigilante, Even Day Reviver, Role Concealer, and Bastard Moderator.

You have the following abilities:

Gloucester's Folly: As a bastard, you have the ability to change deadlines, edit posts, create, edit and redact rules, and even delete posts. This ability is unlimited and continues until the end of the game (not until the player aspect of the moderator is killed). You also have the ability to post moderator notices either truthfully or falsely, based upon the color of the post (true is red, false is any other color). This ability will be revealed to the players if the moderator is subjected to an attempted lynch on a day during which he would normally be unlynchable.

Magick Poisonous Purple Powa: You may kill up to one player per day. If you use this ability, your passive ability of role information redaction will activate.

Aladdin's Genie's Disney Pro Quo #2: You may bring a person back from the dead on even days, up to one use per day/night cycle on these days.

Mehehehe... (Passive): If the abilities Magick Poisonous Purple Powa or Screwy Reality Check are used to kill a player, that player's role information will not be revealed in the death scene and any subsequent posts (unless the player is revived and killed again).

You win if your player aspect survives to the end of the game.

Confirm in thread. You are a member of Group B. Have fun!
Reckamonic-Ghost Player. 5 posts per day, must say “THREADJACK” before the post, has a vote, wins if the mod wins, gets a copy of the setup.

Role PM

Welcome, Reckamonic, to Spontaneous Bastard Mafia!

You are Reckamonic, from Internet Life, here to wreak havoc on unsuspecting players by pretending to be a player, when in fact, you are only half of one.

You are a Neutral Ghost Player Neighbor, a member of the Ghost Town along with Magicman. You may converse with your Neighbor via PM.

You have the following abilities:

Be a Jackass: For a maximum of 15 times per day, you may post and vote however you like. However, your post must be in bold, and you must write "THREADJACK" before the body of your post.

Be a Bigger Jackass: No ability can target you at any time, except modkills, and you cannot be lynched. You also do not appear on the playerlist.

You win if you fulfill the mod's win condition. You do not know what this win condition is.

Do not confirm. You are not a member of a group. Have fun!

Group A is unlynchable even days
Group B is unlynchable odd days

day start, any votes in confirm phase will be counted as votes against the voters themselves.
twilight occurs between final votecount of day and mod scene
dawn occurs in the first 20 posts of each day
-if any player bolds the words of an ability during dawn, he/she will be granted the ability to be used for the entire day/night cycle beginning at post 21 of that day. the player will be informed of this ability.
players will confirm in thread
mod color is red. mod posts not in red are posts by the mod’s player aspect. the mod may try to trick the town by posting mod scenes in a color that is not red. this rule will be released to the players if the mod is lynched day 1 (even though the mod cannot die day 1 due to the group unlynchable mechanic)


If the Mafia Unlynchability Switch is killed, all players lose their unlynchability for the rest of the game.

[zwetschenwasser]

So yeah, Magicman was my alt, and he was designed to make it almost impossible for me not to win, which is why I hate Fate now . I loved how no one wanted to believe that smargaret actually knew the entire setup, and how the morse code came too little, too late for town to win. And YES I know that this game was completely screwed over for the town from the beginning, hence the disclaimer in signups.

Comments are appreciated, as are pre-ins for Spontaneous Bastard Mafia II, which will be posted in the Large Theme Queue either later today or tomorrow, thanks to the help of the lovely Starbuck, my backup mod, and Magicman, my reviewer .

[zwetschenwasser]

And I screwed around with vezok/smargaret's mind by changing ability effects at will (such as Uchiha Madara's).

[zwetschenwasser]

You're OK, CooL.

[zwetschenwasser]

yup and no one noticed

[zwetschenwasser]

NO FOOL

[zwetschenwasser]

and SBM II is now in the queue, pending approval.

[zwetschenwasser]

and rewq, you pre-inned for sbmII a while ago, so should I take it out?