Ray wrote:why do you like tentacles?
Well, it all started when I was a child growing up in post-WWII Denmark. You see, after WWII, Denmark was filled with squids. The squids were everywhere. In fact, according to the 1952 census, more than one quarter of Denmark's population were cephalopods. As such, you couldn't walk down the street without seeing a squid or two.
The older generation, the veterans in particular, didn't like the increasing number of squids in the country. The squids faced a lot of discrimination because of that. However, the younger generation was fine with it. In fact, many of my good friends were cephalopods.
Then, in the eighth grade, I fell in love. At least, what I thought was love. Her name was Squishy, and she was my Squishy. I remember the first time I talked to her, I was so nervous that I spilt my milk all over her shirt, haha. But she forgave me, and we started to become closer.
The first night I brought her home to meet my parents, they were furious. They yelled and screamed, and they gave me an ultimatum. Either I was to break up with Squishy, or I would be disowned from the family and forced to leave the country (my parents were in the Danish ruling family, so they could do that). When I told them I couldn't leave Squishy, they followed through with their threat. I was given a rowboat and three days' worth of food and sent off the coast of Northern Jutland.
Eventually, we made our way to the United States in search of opportunity. Things were difficult at first, but eventually I was hired at a local supermarket, where I was to become a produce clerk. I loved my job, and most of the people at my workplace were friendly. I was always at odds with the seafood department because of my sexual preference, but I didn't care.
March 25, 1967. My dear Squishy was murdered in our own apartment; the victim of a string of anti-cephalopod hate crimes.
Suddenly, nothing mattered anymore. I quit my job, I quit leaving the apartment, I quit eating. I attempted to commit suicide many times, but I never had the courage to go through with it. At the last minute, I always thought of what Squishy would have wanted, and I back down. After my fourth attempt, I decided enough was enough. I had to start a new life.
And so, I moved to Canada. I assumed a new identity to get a fresh start. I had many lovers, but none of them were able to fill the hole Squishy had left in my heart.
And that's why I like tentacles.
how did you end up revealing your real name to haylen?
She asked, I gave it. *Shrug*
Can you name a person still living less funny than George Lopez?
No, but I'm sure Bob Saget is a close second.
What is your favorite mafia role that you have played?
Again, Cyborg.
That you want to play?
Jester Lynch magnet.
That you want to make?
Neutral Cupid, makes two players lovers overnight.
Who am I?
You are DTMaster.
Do I know you?
If not, you should probably get some MRIs done.
Why are you so important?
It's not that I'm really all that important, I'm just more important than you.
Do you like to get Wilde?
Every Friday night in front of my computer screen.
Or is the books (by Wilde) that good?
His books are good, yes.