Okay. Zo. Here iss my claim:
I am
a Rhrrromanian
, a yypsy vif a terrrrible zecret.
I am likingk ze zong I am zinking becoz it verry popular vif my countrryfolk.
I write like I am doink because for zom ztrrange rreason I efen haf Eastern Eurrropean acczent vhen I am typink, yes?
I haf a terrrible secret. I am afraid ze stereotypes about my people are true. Thiefery is a vay of life amongst us. I steal from somevun every night. Yust to keep in prractice. Don't vorry zoh, I vill to rreturn everyfing afterr ve haf killed ze scum.
Isaac, you vill get your sparkly pouch back... oh... you are dead. Okay, vell, I may as vell keep zat, zen.
I brrreadcrrrumbed zis verry vaguely:
imaginality 1003 wrote:I rerrread ze postz off Isacc'
s and man
, I ztill gettingk scommy veel vrom zem.
Wif hascow zilenced, I fought zere vas a good chance Isaac vaz The Zandman, scatterink dust in people's eyes to be making them to sleep. Howeffer vhen Isaac claimed veak doc Tinkerbell, zat alzo fitted vif my find of a sparkly pouch so I beliefed his explanazjon.
Tonight I also vent thieving. It is a hobby for my people. Like I say, it is our vay. So I haf zomthing else. But I vill not say vhat it is or who I took it vrom yust yet. After claims are all done I vill say.
Zo, I am a yypsy thief vif a penchant for bad music. But zat is not ze terrrible secret.
Ze terrrible secret is that I also haf an um... hmm... how can I be puttingk zis? A cravink for bl- ...ze irrresiztible desirre to zink my te- ...a, let us zay, a fondnesss for ze rrreddest of vines, ant my vardrobe leans heffily tovards black capes... mmm... zis is not easy admittingk zis, many people haf bad opinions about zis but I hope you vill understand...
Vat's zat? No! I'm
not
a goth! Is not as bad as zat! I am only a vampyr! Much more betterer! Unlike goths, ve vampyrs are practically human. Yust vif longer teef.
I know, I know. Is not ze length of your teeth, is vere you put zem zat counts (pardon ze pun), yes? Vell, I haf tried to be a rrresponsible vampyr. A modern vampyr. I harrbor no grrrudges to your ancestors for zeir stakes and zeir burning torches and zere garlic (and haha! zat vas yust a myth ve put out anyhow! Many's ze time I've sneaked easily into a young maiden's boudoir becoz zhe fout zat a strring of garlic vud be enough to prrotect her vrom my evi- ummm... zorry, gettink off track here...) - ze point is zat I am a frriendly member of zis town yust as much as you, and ve can all live together peacefully, yes?
Zo, because I had been given no clue vhatzoefer as to vhat effect - if any - my bites vud haf, ze first night I bit two people. Vun vas hascow who I thought vas maybe scum. So if my bites are bad, no vorries. Ze secont vas SlySly because if he vas telling truth, he should be invincible anyhow, yes? I bit two so zat if vun vas nightkilled I vud still hopevully haf an idea vhat my powers do.
I do not zink my bite is vhat caused hascow to be silent yesterday. Because I bit him again last night. And zis time he can talk.
My best guess is zat my bites haf no effect and zat ze mod put it in my role to screw wiz me (and I guess if zere are any vatchers and trackers out zere, wif zem too). I assure you hascow and SlySly, I only took a little nibble! And cows and zazqvatches haf more blut zan humans anyhow, yes!
Zo from my experiments on my
lab rats
fellow townies, it appears zat me bitink people even twice does not kill zem, and has had no ozzer effect zat I can see. If hascow or SlySly know ozzervise, please say. If not, zen please rregard my likink for bluuuuudddddd as a mere foible, a qvirk, an eccentrrrizity zat in no vay affects ze game. After all zis is ze 21st zentury, ve do not kill vampyr any more, yes?
My thieffery is on ze other hand a useful pro-town skill for confirming claims to zom extent. And my melodic singink and liltink acczent bring yoy and happiness to all of us, yes?
So zis is who I am. A Rrrromanian in more vays zan vun.
A
vagabond vif an annoyink accent and irrrritating tunes
happy yypsy ssinger.
A
sneaky thief
skilled inveztigator.
A
soulless crrreature of ze night
dark and pazzionate lover vif smoulderring, hypnotic eyes and long glintink teef.
I vin wif ze town. And only wif ze town.
So put down zose sharpened ztakes, and thrrow avay zose crucifixes, and let's find ze scum.
"holy shit this entire time i thought imaginalitys profile was a purple seahorse" - camelCasedSnivy