Épisode Un: Growing Ze Vegetable Marrows

[Hercule Poirot]

I mean I think zat Cheddar and Jenny both did great jobs. Cheddar especially. Does zis mean zat I am more favorable towards zem? Cela n'est pas nécessairement vrai. I am more favorable towards Cheddar zan I was, but not becuase of ze challenge, but because I think zat Cheddar sees me as a potential ally and we transitioned into gametalk. M. Grouch ees still my closest ally, and M. Grouch wants to form something between ze two of us and Mlle Judy.

My least favorite on ze tribe is now Mlle Jenny because I know zat she is online, I can see 'er, and I saw 'er compete in ze challenge, but she 'as not PMed me for a very long time, and based on a conversation with M. Grouch, I am under ze impression zat she might 'ave a problem with ze manner in which I speak. I will see what I do about zat, if anything, but if I could eliminate anyone from ze game at zis point, eet would be 'er.

[Hercule Poirot]

Mlle Judy Hopps ees most enjoyable, but she strangely just made ze choice to tell me zat M. Grouch ees 'er favorite person in ze game, even moreso zan me? Which ees fine, but most people would know not to tell me zat. Oh well, eet doesn't change anything for me, if anything eet ees actually good zat Grouch ees seen by people as more social and threatening, since I believe zat Grouch 'as my back, at least for ze duration of zis tribe. But I most certainly will take zat knowledge and put eet in my back pocket to use methodically when ze moment ees right.

P.S. I have decent guesses for both Jenny and Grouch's IDs based on various things, but I'm not allowing zem to influence my opinions of zem too much. Zey are just guesses based more on zeir behavior and position in ze game zan on definite knowledge, although Jenny's timezone also narrows ze options down.

[Hercule Poirot]

I meant Judy, not Jenny. And actually, my ID guess for Judy per'aps does make me less inclined to want to work with 'er, but zat ees also because I know now zat she ees ze type of person to tell someone to zeir face zat zey are not 'er closest ally. I will still work with 'er, but I will be careful about ze information I give 'er, because I do not totally trust 'er judgment and discretion.

[Heiji Hattori]

[quote author=Hercule Poirot link=topic=89.msg932#msg932 date=1593392128

P.S. I have decent guesses for both Jenny and Grouch's IDs based on various things, but I'm not allowing zem to influence my opinions of zem too much. Zey are just guesses based more on zeir behavior and position in ze game zan on definite knowledge, although Jenny's timezone also narrows ze options down.
[/quote]

Feel free to share your guesses here, let's see if you were able to pick them out in episode 1.

[Hercule Poirot]

I did not want to be incorrect and to embarrass ze great name of Hercule Poirot, but if you wish, I will post my guesses.

I think zat M. Grouch ees

Spoiler

Shrek

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I think zat Mlle Judy ees

Spoiler

AcRv

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[Hercule Poirot]

Ze length of my PMs may be getting out of hand. I just sent zis to Mlle Judy.

Do you 'ave whiskers? I cannot see zem in your picture, but zey might just be invisible because of your grey fur, peut être. Finding ze clues zat others miss ees ze first step to doing good detective work, but once one 'as found zem, one must be able to remember zem and arrange zem in one's mind with order and method. Only zem will ze patterns reveal zemselves.

J'adore un mystère aussi. I have been reading many romans policiers over quarantine, by authors from ze "Golden Age of Detective Fiction" such as Agatha Christie and Dorothy Sayers, which was part of ze raison zat I chose to play zis game as Poirot, and I 'ave most enjoyed getting to embody 'im as best I can. Eet ees fun to try to solve Agatha Christie novels, but when you read zem roughly in order, as I 'ave been doing, zen you find zat zey offer an extremely interesting picture into life in England from ze 1920s until ze 1970s! Christie wrote for over a decade and so much changes in zat time! Of course I was zere and remember all of ze crimes well, so zey don't work as mysteries pour moi, but eet ees most pleasant to reminisce about ze past.

I imagine zat les lapins reproduce at a most alarming rate, so to be among so few of your own kind must be très difficile. If you don't mind me asking, how does your family feel about you dating a fox? Do zey accept you?

Mon amie, I attempt to match ze length of ze PMs of receive, but I am, as you may have noticed, most talkative, so I always end up writing longer and longer, and zen if ze other person matches as you do, ze lengths of our PMs can escalate to unwieldy lengths. So if at any point our PMs grow too long for you to easily respond to easily, do not hesitate to shorten zem, especially if we need to, as ze English say, get down to ze brass tacks. 'Owever, you are very correct zat since we are only together for a limited amount of time during ze day, if our PMs are longer, zen zat increases ze amount of information we can exchange with each other.

Honesty ees ze number one quality zat I want in an ally, and eet ees something zat I try to play ze game while maintaining as well. You are absolutely right, I think zat eet ees possible to play ze game without telling unnecessary lies. Some lies are necessary (par exemple I am not going to tell someone zat I am voting for zem in most cases[/i]) but you are right, eet ees possible to be mostly honest and still make eet far into ze game.

I will also say zat zere are different kinds of lies. Lying about being in an alliance with another player or about who you are voting for ees very different zan lying to someone about how much you like zem. Since zere ees so much incentive in Survivor to make ze other players like you, for many players zey go to great lengths to avoid admitting zat zere are per'aps other players zey prefer. Zey tell zose lies without even thinking about zem, without even realizing zat zey are lies. So eet shows real commitment to honesty and strength of character on your part, mademoiselle, zat you resisted ze urge to fall into zat trap. Hercule Poirot ees never wrong about 'is assessment of human psychology. Le lapin ees not like most players in ze game of Survivor.

I'm not going back to add ze italics around my French, but zey were zere in ze original.

I am trying to embody Hercule Poirot both in ze way zat I speak, and in ze way I talk about human beings, as you may notice in ze second half of zat PM. I want to focus on human psychology and why humans do what zey do. My insight into particular human beings' personalities and psychologies will guide my strategy in zis game.

[Heiji Hattori]

Is it a discredit that 1/3 of the players are non-human if you try to use that psychology?

[Hercule Poirot]

Peut être, mon ami. Although zere does seem to be some degree of, how you say, anthropomorphism in all of ze animal contestants. But per'aps you are right, I am not used to taking ze differences between humans and animals into account. M. Cheddar, for example, could be a most excellent ally, as long as zere are no squirrels in his vicinity to distract 'im.

[Hercule Poirot]

M. Lucifer's PMs are ze most boring things to respond to. Same with M. Cheddar. Both are quick to respond and seem generally well-liked, but I am falling asleep trying to PM zem. Meanwhile Mlle Judy and M. Grouch are both amazing at PMing. And M. Lance and Mlle Jenny are 'ardly talking with me.

But I think zat an alliance between myself, Mlle Judy, and M. Grouch ees what ees currently going to 'appen, and I 'ope zat ze other three do not realize zis. Although Mlle Judy does not seem quite an enthusiastic about ze grouping as M. Grouch and I are, so eet ees possible zat she would not be loyal.

I 'ope zat we don't attend many tribal councils, because I do not think zat M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer would stick zeir necks out for me, and zat ees extremely troublesome.

[Hercule Poirot]

I just feel ze life getting sucked out of me when I PM M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer, and zat ees not a feeling zat I usually feel. Per'aps eet ees because I am roleplaying as M. Poirot and my messages therefore take slightly more effort, but I don't think zat ees eet because I do not feel zis way with M. Grouch and Mlle Judy.

Anyway, I think zat 'aving zis gimmick is a good way to make my social skills worse and therefore less threatening, because zat ees always my problem. If my conversations with some people are going nowhere, maybe zat ees a good thing.

[Hercule Poirot]

Although we won the challenge, I think I was totally correct zat running eet with only 4 people was not ze smartest idea. If we 'ad 6 or 7 members online, I think zat we would not 'ave been ze slowest and wouldn't 'ave 'ad to rely on an error in order to win.

[Heiji Hattori]

I just feel ze life getting sucked out of me when I PM M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer, and zat ees not a feeling zat I usually feel. Per'aps eet ees because I am roleplaying as M. Poirot and my messages therefore take slightly more effort, but I don't think zat ees eet because I do not feel zis way with M. Grouch and Mlle Judy.

Anyway, I think zat 'aving zis gimmick is a good way to make my social skills worse and therefore less threatening, because zat ees always my problem. If my conversations with some people are going nowhere, maybe zat ees a good thing.

I find your social skills to be extremely threatening. It could also be that everytime someone speaks French in MS Survivor, they make it to the top four. Congratulations on immunity and making it to the top 20. What's your agenda for the next 24 hours?

You mentioned that Cheddar and Lucifer's conversations are sleep-inducing. Do you have any snippets to show that can illuminate how devoid of interesting materials they are? This could also be for personal reference as I am naturally a boring spectator and don't know how to carry conversations.

[Hercule Poirot]

I just feel ze life getting sucked out of me when I PM M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer, and zat ees not a feeling zat I usually feel. Per'aps eet ees because I am roleplaying as M. Poirot and my messages therefore take slightly more effort, but I don't think zat ees eet because I do not feel zis way with M. Grouch and Mlle Judy.

Anyway, I think zat 'aving zis gimmick is a good way to make my social skills worse and therefore less threatening, because zat ees always my problem. If my conversations with some people are going nowhere, maybe zat ees a good thing.

I find your social skills to be extremely threatening. It could also be that everytime someone speaks French in MS Survivor, they make it to the top four. Congratulations on immunity and making it to the top 20. What's your agenda for the next 24 hours?

You mentioned that Cheddar and Lucifer's conversations are sleep-inducing. Do you have any snippets to show that can illuminate how devoid of interesting materials they are? This could also be for personal reference as I am naturally a boring spectator and don't know how to carry conversations.

Zat ees a good point, mon ami! I did not even consider zat when choosing to employ zis manner of speaking! I 'ope zat I can keep zat trend going.

My agenda is to continue talking with everyone (particularly M. Lance and Mlle Jenny who I have barely spoken to since ze first day) and to work towards formalizing my alliance with M. Grouch and Mlle Judy. M. Grouch and I 'ave already agreed zat we like each other ze best, but I get ze feeling zat M. Grouch 'as not been ze most subtle about zat fact, especially since Mlle Judy informed me zat I was ze one M. Grouch talked about ze most. But I think zat if I can lock down zose three, zen I should be okay for ze rest of zis tribe's existence. I do think zat M. Lance will be ze boot if we go to a tribal council though, since at ze moment as far as I know 'e is messaging no one.

M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer 'ave improved, but I will do an analysis of a PM from each of zem presently for your benefit, provided zat I 'ave no other PMs to respond to first.

[Hercule Poirot]

Ah I gotcha! I also have a little bit more from her than from Lance too, but not by as many as I’d have thought.

Very true! I don’t think I’ve ever played a game where there wasn’t someone like him on the tribe!

Zis ees a PM from M. Cheddar. In zis PM, we are talking game, but you will notice zat in both of ze lines of ze PM, M. Cheddar just repeats what I 'ave said in slightly different words. I find zat zis ees often ze case with both M. Cheddar and M. Lucifer, and eet ees most irritant. I want you to bring something new to ze discussion, and with Cheddar, zis ees ze case whether we are talking game or talking non-game (before eet was just weird roleplay, but we 'ave moved to talking about language learning, a common discussion topic for me in zis game due to my gimmick, but at least slightly more intéressant).

Zis PM from M. Lucifer ees slightly different because eet does bring new content to ze table, but eet ees 'orrible and I went to bed last night (or pretended to, more accurately) rather zan 'ave to respond to eet!

It would definitely be nice if she'd open up. We'll just have to see what happens I guess.

That's very fair! For me I tend to use posting styles as like an icebreaker at the start of the game? I try to use it to prevent a little bit of the awkwardness and spice up the generic messages that I'd start with otherwise. Then I'll kind of drop them after a little bit. Your posting style works fine for what you're saying though. I guess I just lack the dedication to keep up a shtick for more than a couple days.

Ze first line is a nothing line about Jenny. Eet ees just repeating something zat we 'ave said to each other 4 or 5 times already. Eet ees filler.

Ze rest of ze PM ees an incredibly boring meta conversation about posting gimmicks in general and mine in particular? And I 'ave no idea what to say to zat, and I am good at PMing, you guys 'ave seen ze messages zat I am capable of writing. I can take very leetle and make a lot out of eet, but in zis case, eet ees just weird to 'ave a prolonged discussion about my posting style and eets potential limitations in my posting style. I cannot agree with 'im zat I lack ze dedication because clearly I do 'ave ze dedication, and I cannot briefly acknowledge zis part of ze PM and zen move on to ze next part, because zere ees no other part. Eet ees boring and difficult to respond to. Moi, I solved ze problem by telling 'im zat I was going to bed and zen asking 'im a question about 'is day in ze morning.

Ze best PMs give ze person responding to ze PM an easy way into the conversation. Zey take ze other person's comments, acknowledge zem, per'aps make zeir own clarifications or qualifications, and ze connect zem to other things to move ze conversation forward. Zese PMs do not do zat. Zey are failures. Zey allow ze conversation to stagnate and wallow in eetself. When you are PMing, do not be like M. Cheddar. Do not be like M. Lucifer. Do better.

Zank you for listening. Zis 'as been analyzing PMs with Hercule Poirot.

[Hercule Poirot]

I also 'ave an identity guess for Cheddar. I 'ave never played with zis person, but I going to guess...

Spoiler

Julia/Cats/Riju! Ze main thing zat makes me think zis ees ze use of ze exclamation points, but also I just kind of get zat vibe. Zis ID guess makes me want to work with Cheddar more, because eet makes me think zat Cheddar might be incredibly invested in zis relationship and eet just eesn't coming across, but I could easily be wrong so I'm not putting too much stock in eet. I will try not to let eet affect me too much.

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