A bit of a different question for both of you— who was your biggest obstacle to overcome in this game? Which person stood the greatest threat of taking you out, and what specific steps did you take to counteract that?

Also— what was your lowest point in this game strategically? What event(s) happened that made you feel a loss of control over the game or like you were at a disadvantage, and how did you bounce back from them?

I felt like Jake was a pretty big threat to me in the game. From my point of view, he was the primary person who wanted me out during the early rounds of merge. I think there were some minor things and a few really important things I did to counteract that. Both the Nick vote and Scruff vote were both crucial ways I tried to counteract his control over the game, because I thought they were both close to him and would help limit and reduce his influence. I also tried really hard to make sure I was on good terms with Judy, because I thought she had an important amount of sway and could prevent Jake from targeting me. I also targeted Jake on multiple occasions to remove him from the game because of the threat he posed and was able to vote him out eventually.

I mean, I don't feel like I'm ever going to have a question and be agonizing over which thread to put it in, so that aspect of this format doesn't really bother me. The jury can do what they want with questioning, the same way they can vote how they want. It's not like there's going to be riots in the streets if I ask someone what their favorite immunity win was in the Social thread.

I'm relatively new so I haven't seen the per-Juror thread format but I'm not sure I'd care for that? I think that ideally, jurors pay attention to everything the finalists say, not just the answers to their own questions, and I could see hypothetical jurors easily just reading their own thread. Obviously people in any format can just skim over anything not directly pertaining to them, but I wouldn't want a format that optimizes for that.

I was considering asking the finalists to rate the social/strategic/structural format on a scale from 3 to 18 though.

If you want an answer to this: I'd probably give it like a 10 on that weird scale? I don't hate the format but I don't love it either.

To be quite honest, I'm not being as pandered as I want to be this FTC. In all seriousness, I want to ask Lucifer about mine and Judy's tribals. What did you stand to gain from those? You talk about the messages and feeling you got that I was coming up next in the boot order, but you didn't like it because you had me as leverage as an ally, so what did it take to convince you to actually vote me out? You seem a bit flip floppy about that reasoning so I'm a bit confused. Without challenge wins, were you in a safe and secure position without Judy and I was shields?


Poirot, I understood your reasoning during the game and understand it now, so I don't have a question for you for my tribal.

I was OK with voting you out for a couple reasons, like for me I just felt like I wanted to take out Judy first. First- in a similar way to Rust, I think you had played a pretty solid game and could've won over a jury more easily and I couldn't differentiate my game well from you. Like I think my basic case against Poirot is that I was way better at challenges, I didn't backstab anyone, I had to fight really hard to get here as someone who wasn't in the majority at times during merge and my allies and the people I was close to are people he wasn't. Against you- you can claim a lot of that same stuff and I can't differentiate in the same way. I felt like taking you out in the spot before Rust was uniquely important because I felt you were better at challenges than he was.

One- I think I'm in an OK spot even without the challenge wins. Like even if I lose at the FIC and Rust or Hercule wins- I think they'd both take me. At F4 it's harder to say, because I didn't realize where Leon was at. I was anticipating the two of us were solid and could at least tie the vote and that we were both of the understanding that our best chances at FTC were against each other. Once that TC actually happened I was rudely awakened to the fact that he didn't share those views necessarily, but I still think I would've been OK. I think there's a possibility I could've gotten someone else to tie the vote for me and possibly still vote Leon even if he didn't.
Second- I was OK banking my game on winning those challenges if I had to. I think you have to take risks in this game and that was one I felt good about taking and it worked out for me.

Okay but, you say that the end game I wanted and you wanted were drastically different, right? And yet the people who followed me right out of the game were the people I didn't want in the game. The only difference between the endgame I wanted to have, and the one that happened is I was replaced by Leon. So, that sounds an awful lot like bullshit and you telling me what you think I want to hear. Our entire relationship was based on honesty, blunt honesty. And that's what I'm asking for from you. If me leaving was your doing more so than it was anybody else's, then I need a much better reason that what you've said. Cuz that's not good enough. I liked Lennie and would have loved to do things with him, as I told you, but we had just not been on the same side of the vote. I was more than willing to do other things, as I told you again and again. Lucifer going home instead of me would have sucked, sure, but that at least made sense as I could understand you would never think he'd place you over me. Hell, it would have put me that much firmly into having to work with you further because you'd be my best option, no? Which again, I told you. I was worried about going places with you because in the group of people you liked, you were the only one who actually valued me at all. And I told you about that, but I wasn't saying I needed you out of the game, just that the path you wanted going forward as you stated it to me, left me completely at your whim and mercy where I would have just been your puppet. I wanted options that meant we were actually working as partners, but that's not the path you chose. All you had to do was tell me that though, that's all you ever had to do. I'm just really finding it hard to see why this path to the end you had is one that fits with the way you and I talked about whether we had a path together to the end game. It's incredibly hard not to see the way you got to the end and with whom and how you played with them to be different from the kind of plans we were making together. If using what I told you and what I thought is part of your social game, then that's okay, but just say that rather than make it sound like you couldn't have gotten this with me in the game.

Also, I don't know where else to put this, so it gets to be tacked on here, I don't feel from either of you any sort of passion for this game. Did you have fun? Did you pour a lot of yourself into this? Do you even want to win this? Do you think the games you played should win this? Where's your emotionality, you both have it, where is it in your presentation?

I am passionate about this game? I guess I'm not the best about conveying it over a forum speech, but yes, I care a lot.

One of the cool things I like about this forum is the stats on every profile and if you look at my online time- I've literally spent days on this forum. I did some math and like roughly 15% of my time the past month and a half has been spent on this game- which is crazy. This has been a massive time investment and emotional investment for me.

This game has been an integral part of my life the past few months. I've been in quarantine for the bulk of this game and have hardly left my home and it's been a really difficult period of time for me- Like I've dealt with a lot of frustration and depression in my real life and this game has helped me through it. Having all of you to talk to has helped keep me sane and comforted at a time where I've felt pretty lonely and isolated. I was thinking a couple days ago about how I'm really going to miss this game and the impact it's had on my life. One of the first things I'd do every morning when I got up was check my messages on this game and it's one of the last things I'd do before I went to bed too. I had a lot of fun talking with you- I remember when you asked me for an alliance all the way back when the game first started and it made me so happy. Like I spent the next hour with a big grin because I was so excited and it gave me so much hope from this game. I loved talking with you- there's quite a few songs on my Spotify 'Liked Songs' playlist that are only there because of you(there's also some from Jake), I know that's like trivial, but you have had an impact on my life and I hope you realize that. Getting messages from all of you would give me excitement and it was always something to look forward to. I loved it a lot and I hope you all realize that and realize that I appreciate you a lot. I'm really not trying to be a game bot.

I also think my game does deserve to win. It would mean a lot to me, but not just that- a part of me really hopes that it would have implications beyond that. I've been involved in MS Survivor for a long time and I feel like this forum often votes for people to win who are really social and play larger than life aggressive games and if you don't play that way you won't win. That's always been really daunting to me. My social skills have always been a struggle for me- both in my real life and in this game- I've had to deal with social anxiety a lot and while it's gotten a lot better, it's still a struggle at times and I think the games often exacerbate that a little bit. Because people will literally vote you out for bad social skills and so it just kind of reinforces the idea of people judging you and causes more problems. I've played a lot of survivor games on this site and my first few especially were rough- I was consistently going home early and struggling to make it even a few rounds.

I kept trying and eventually I got better, but it's a struggle. I hope this doesn't sound cheesy, but I've literally cried when I've been voted out of past games. Like these games are such a commitment and they're often intensely personal in my experience. I still go home early sometimes and even when I make it deep- sometimes I've honestly wished I hadn't. I feel like I'm the type of player who constantly gets labeled as a goat or a pawn and I've had to deal with my fair share of bitterness from people who made me feel like I didn't deserve to make it that far and just got dragged along because I was someone's puppet. And like it's not entirely unwarranted- I'm not a perfect person and I can be bitter back too- but it's really really sad to have something you poured hours into reduced to a failure. Two years ago I honestly thought about never playing a game here ever again because I'd put so much energy and effort into playing and I thought I'd done really well- only to feel pretty much ridiculed by the rest of the players in that game. This is a community that I've felt like I don't belong in sometimes and after that I was heartbroken. Obviously, I'm playing now and I'm glad I am. I was honestly really scared coming into this FTC- I was worried people might be bitter and I really wasn't sure I even wanted to be here, especially after the F4 vote didn't go my way. You all have been incredibly nice and I really appreciate that. So while like I would personally love to win, I guess a part of me hopes there could be more change beyond that.

I actually remember we talked about this a little bit- like if winning was important and we agreed that like personal improvement was more the purpose of these games and I'd still agree with that. Over the years I've learned a lot from these games- They've impacted my perspective on life in some ways and I'm way better at Robot Unicorn Attack than I used to be too. I suppose "if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."  Winning won't fix anything. That being said, I would obviously love to win this- like it would mean a lot and it would be a big accomplishment for me. While it's not the purpose, it's the goal and it would make me so happy.

I have a question for both of you: At any point during this game, did you ever try to purposefully do worse in a challenge to manage your threat level on that front? Did you ever sit out for similar reasons?

Hercule, this is something we talked about a little, but I want you to elaborate a little more on how you felt the swaps helped or hurt you. You were with Judy basically the entire game, how did this effect the way you played with her? Additionally, you were part of the tiger idol finders, and it was widely known that you found it first and let Judy keep while the target was on her. Was that a good move on your part or not?

Luci, I don't think there's any particular things I want to ask you about how you used this game to your advantage, because I think that's exactly what you did, you took the hand the game dealt you, and you used it as best as you possibly could and you are here. So, instead, what I will ask you is, is there something about the structure of the game that you used for your benefit that maybe we as the jury don't know about, or something you want to highlight about your play that you don't think we'd ask about and was vital to your journey this game?

I spent about 10 or 15 minutes on the first merge challenge and then submitted my score- I don't know if I would've won even if I had tried to go further, but I didn't want to win and I also never really was particularly vocal about early merge challenges. Like I tried to be there and be helpful but not overdo it. Besides that one challenge, I tried to win the merge challenges to a degree- this might sound weird- but I feel like I'm somebody that performs well under pressure and can kind of perform better when they need to? So like I wasn't not trying in the earlier challenges, but I was trying especially hard in the last few? Like I felt like those were important so I focused in and did my best and won them.

Finally, a bit of an easier one— how do you think challenges impacted your game, whether it be positive or negative? In what ways did you work with or around them to get what you wanted?

I think challenges impacted my game in a very positive way. I was able to do well in challenges and make it to merge without a lot of challenges and it helped me secure my spot in the finals towards the end of the game as well.

For Lucifer, I just wanted to address this part of your speech:

Quote

Rounds 15 on were where I think I got more control in the game and put together a better performance. I thought Lennie going home in round 15 was important for me, because I knew we weren't on particularly good terms at the time and it set me up to go deep. The next two rounds the bigger challenge threats went- in particular, the round 16 vote would've been impossible without me beating Judy- I knew it was important to get them out if I was going to win immunity these last few rounds and fully guarantee my spot at the end. Obviously the one blemish here is round 18, but I was still safe during that important vote thanks to my challenge performance. I think during these rounds I exhibited a little bit more control over the game, my status as a low-profile player paid off and my devotion to my allies worked out. I think it shows some dynamism.

The thing is, after I left, I just assumed that it just went without saying that Judy or Penelope would go at 6, and if the remaining member of that pair was vulnerable at 5, they'd be voted out next. So like we've got 2 rounds at 6 and 5 where basically everyone in the game was on roughly the same page other than those being targeted, and then at 4 the one person you didn't want to go home went home. I'm not really seeing how this is particularly dynamic or exhibited more control over the game, aside from having immunity at 4 and 3. I'm not trying to grill you or anything here, but do you have a different view of those rounds?

That's fair- to me I specifically wanted to keep Penelope around over Judy for a few reasons though, but I get why it didn't matter a whole lot in the end. The first part of it was just loyalty to her, but I also thought she was slightly weaker in challenges. She was obviously very good, but I think a significant part of her reputation came from premerge where in my mind the challenges took a different skill set. Like one thing she was great at on the BAU was organizing the tribe and being like a team captain and in merge, like that's not really important when it's one person doing most challenges. So I felt like Judy was slightly better at challenges and I wanted her out first. Furthermore, if Penelope had won the challenge- I felt a little better about the prospects of an F5 vote and then F4 with her around than with Judy- but like obviously that ended up not being a factor, but it was something I considered. So to me, being able to control the way that vote went had some meaning, but I get why it kind of ended up being irrelevant based on what happened.