Épisode Treize: A Fork in ze Road

[Hercule Poirot]

Also maybe eet being public knowledge zat I switched zis vote on to M. Grouch ees not fantastique, but if I frame eet as ze safer idol choice rather zan ze better choice for me personally, zat might not matter as much.

[Hercule Poirot]

I really don't know, but he never responded to me after I replied so *aggressive shrugs*

I really don't think there's going to be momentum elsewhere. The only possible vote I can see that they could get any traction maybe with might be Judy and even then, that's not the name going around to any of the people who might consider biting at it. Jake seems set on Lucifer as his counter. Actually though, this round I've had quite a few PMs with Leon and I think without Scruff being around, it's much easier for the two of us to talk. So I'm not nearly as keen on him having to leave soon. It was almost a bit like how we were talking at the start of Narcotics.

Yeah, Rust seems pretty adamantly against Jake atm, and very pro us, which is very good.

Yup, he is, it's what I've heard. I don't know why he has such a vendetta against Luci, I really don't. I'm sorry you have to be in this position though, it's never a nice feeling.

I do know that, and I find it endearing <3. And yes, I completely agree. Which I think is why half our conversations are what they are. Cuz sure we want to do things together, but we also want to do things that we think are best for our own individual games, and sometimes those things don't overlap, which is okay. Oh I know it's not loyalty. When you're fighting for someone out of loyalty, it reads different. But again, I think I might have a better sense of you than most as we've always been upfront with each other. You are rather good at it, I did notice

Oh my goodness, M. Grouch ees going to 'ate me so much. I feel so awful. Betray or get betrayed. Betray or get betrayed. Pourquoi do I do zis to myself?

[Hercule Poirot]

My stomach ees in knots over zis vote. I'm so scared zat I'm making a mistake. I'm so scared zat something will go wrong and zis could get turned around on me. I'm so scared zat M. Grouch will play an idol. I'm so scared zat I will never get M. Grouch's Jury vote. I'm so scared zat I will go 'ome shortly afterwards and M. Grouch will be furious. 'E 'as admitted zat I am unlikely to get to ze end, so if zis sacrifice gets me zere or close to eet, 'e kind of can't be zat mad? But of course 'umans don't always work zat way.

I'm committed at zis point though. Ze plan ees too far gone for me to go back on eet. I 'ave no problem taking out whoever I 'ave to in order to win. Zis ees earlier zan I am used making a betrayal, but people always say zat final 9 should be 5-4 and final 7 should be 4-3, so we're about to get one of zose. We'll 'ave to see down ze line if we get two.

I'm not sure exactly what my endgame plan ees or where I go from 'ere, but I think I can play up 'ow betrayed M. Grouch probably feels to make me more appealing to take. Zis ees another reason getting rid of M. Grouch ees better. If I kept M. Grouch, 'e 'as such a 'igh opinion of me zat 'e would be telling zem all what a Jury threat I am and 'ow much zey need to take me out, which in turn would make zem less likely to take me to ze end. As eet stands, M. Grouch ees going to be sniped before 'e 'as ze chance to say zay, and I'm not sure zat M. Morningstar, M. Cohle, and Mlle Garcia will see zat as clearly, and certainly will not 'ave as much to use against me.

Even if 'e didn't save 'imself in ze next few rounds, if M. Grouch was around still, 'e could do so much damage to my game. And almost exactly zat 'as 'appened to me before, where I didn't take out my closest ally with ze first stab (at 9, coincidentally) and because of zat, zey were able to use zat against me and even though I successfully killed zem at 8, zey 'ad done so much damage to my game in zat single round zat I was cut right before ze end.

[Hercule Poirot]

Really, if I go 'ome maintenant, what a fantastique way to go out. Going out swinging and trying to make a move to position myself for ze end.

I'm still incredibly stressed about zese next two hours 'owever. I'm almost more stressed about ze thought of M. Grouch 'aving an idol played on 'im and what eet would be like 'aving to face 'im after zat zan anything. Because mon Dieu, eet would be 'orrible. Also zat zere ees some sort of secret plot zat I'm not included in, but if zat ees ze case and I survive eet, I think next round will be messy enough zat maybe my threat level will be decreased? I will 'ave a much less linear path to ze end, zat ees for sure. But I do still think I would 'ave a path.

[Hercule Poirot]

Oh my god, I feel like such a bad person. Like I can't even respond to M. Grouch and Mlle Garcia right now, I feel so guilty.

M. Grouch just said zat Mlle Garcia, M. Morningstar, and M. Cohle were worried zat maybe I couldn't be relied upon when eet came down to eet, but 'e told 'im zat if eet was in my best interest, I would do eet. And 'e ees right, if I think something ees in my best interest, I will do eet. Which ees why I'm doing zis. Uggh eet ees just painful.

I'm trying to tell M. Grouch 'ow I feel about 'im without blatantly pandering, because I know zat ees gross right before a backstab. But I'm kind of trying to embed my reasons for zis move in a way zat 'e will only realize once 'e reads zem back carefully, if zat makes sense. Nom d’un nom d’un nom, zis game ees so 'ard. I don't think zat people even realize ze internal struggle zat I'm 'aving 'ere. But I know what must be done, and really eet ees too late to change anything even if I wanted to.

[Hercule Poirot]

I'm so close to being exposed. I feel eet.

Oh my goodness my 'eart. Zis ees so stressful. But exhilarating in a bizarre way.