Épisode Un: Growing Ze Vegetable Marrows

[Hercule Poirot]

Bonjour, mes amis. C’est moi, Hercule Poirot, probably ze greatest detective in ze world. I was enjoying a pleasant retirement in King’s Abbot, growing ze vegetable marrows when, to my great surprise, I found myself suddenly drawn back into ze life of ze detective. After all, should a bullet land directly above one’s ‘ead, one can ‘ardly be expected not to answer ze call! Mais non, c’est impossible! Hercule Poirot ees on ze case.

My mental faculties, ‘owever, you will find to be as adroit as ever. I shall use order and method and apply both most fastidiously to all zat I undertake. I shall endeavor to understand the psychology of each suspect to predict what each will do acting dans sa caractère. And, with ze help of my leetle grey cells, I shall emerge triumphant. Trust in Papa Poirot, mes amis. He will uncover all.

[Heiji Hattori]

Salut! Quand je le connais, mdr!

I am looking forward to your performance! What is your strategy to emerge triumphant?

[Hercule Poirot]

Salut, spectateur Heiji!

My strategy is to have zem underestimate ze strength of ze great Hercule Poirot! Eet may sound incroyable, but even as I tell zem about my genius, zey laugh behind ze back of ze silly foreign man. And zen, when ze moment is right, I will do what must be done.

Mlle Jenny from her first message to me seems to find my gimmick très embêtant, most irritating, so per'aps she will be ze first to die at ze hands of Hercule Poirot. Only time will tell...

Mlle le lapin and M. le diable are both most amiable, so zey could be potential allies, but we shall 'ave to see.

[Hercule Poirot]

Our tribe seems to be ze least active, which suits Poirot perfectly fine. Eet makes me feel better about not 'aving to do much to survive eet.

But still, seeing ze whole other tribes online while I am getting no messages ees triste.

[Heiji Hattori]

Why is an inactive tribe enticing to Inspector Poirot?

[Heiji Hattori]

Our tribe seems to be ze least active, which suits Poirot perfectly fine. Eet makes me feel better about not 'aving to do much to survive eet.

But still, seeing ze whole other tribes online while I am getting no messages ees triste.

You can always post in your confessional with me. I'm here for you.

[Hercule Poirot]

I myself had to step away for un moment, so eet ees fortunate zat my tribe ees not ze most active.

I find zat when a tribe is highly active, eet ees easy to make many close alliances immediately, and zen you are somewhat locked into zem for ze rest of ze game. In a less active tribe, you don't need to 'ave zose obligations and can follow ze interests of ze heart.

I believe in order and method, but I also do 'ave a sentimental side. I am proof zat zese different aspects can coexist in one individual. Zat is my strategy for zis game.

[Hercule Poirot]

My tribe ranked at zis point in time:

1. M. Grouch
2. Mlle Judy
3. M. Lucifer
4. M. Cheddar
5. Mlle Jenny
6. M. Quentin

Zat is where I am currently at, but ze only two I genuinely like at zis point are M. Grouch and Mlle Judy. M. Lucifer I can tolerate, and M. Cheddar, Mlle Jenny, and M. Quentin are all actively difficult to converse with. Mlle Jenny also loves M. Cheddar, which ees quite annoying.

[Heiji Hattori]

How did you determine your ranking?

[Hercule Poirot]

My critères principaux, or primary criteria for you English, is how much I enjoy answering zeir PMs. Ze bottom ees mostly interchangeable, 'owever.

My biggest target at zis point ees M. Cheddar because although multiple people have mentioned zat zey enjoy him, I 'ave not felt zat at zis point. 'owever, eet ees still only ze premier jour. Much can and will change.

I feel...not ze most comfortable but I don't think I am in immediate danger on zis tribe. I can tell zat my manner of speaking will put distance between me and ze other players, but zat isn't necessarily a bad thing zis early on, as long as I am able to reach through and make close relationships in spite of eet.

[Hercule Poirot]

After only one day of playing zis game, I'm finding myself thinking in ze accent of Hercule Poirot. It doesn't help zat I've been binge-reading a Poirot novel every other day for ze past few weeks. I don't know zat my typing is perfectly capturing ze accent in my 'ead, but I'm trying to get as close as I can.

In other news, I have initiated an alliance with M. Grouch. M. Grouch, M. Lucifer, M. Cheddar, and I all seem to agree zat we are ze four most active, so I would not be surprised if we took control of zis tribe. I do not love M. Cheddar and some of M. Lucifer's recent PMs have rubbed me ze wrong way as well, but if zat ees ze path zat guarantees my safety through zese first few votes, zen zat will be ze path zat I take.

I enjoy Mlle Hopps a lot, and I hope zat she is able to step up ze activity levels to ze point where I don't have to stick out my neck too much to save her. I suspect zat Quentin will probably be ze first target on zis tribe based on what I 'ave seen so far and ze way zat people speak about 'im, which I have no problem with.

[Hercule Poirot]

Of course, eet ees très possible zat I am a target because of my accent and don't let realize eet. If zat ees ze case, zen oh well! I will not sacrifice my characterization of Hercule Poirot to remain in zis game.

[Joss Carter]

If zat ees ze case, zen oh well! I will not sacrifice my characterization of Hercule Poirot to remain in zis game.

That is the Poirotest thing you could say.

[Hercule Poirot]

We definitely will lose zis challenge because we are going to attempt to run eet with only four members when ze other tribes are running eet with 7.

I am annoyed zat M. Lucifer and M. Lance are not online when zey said zat zey would be.

[Heiji Hattori]

Tell me more thoughts about the challenge. There's a down point you mentioned, but any good points - like your favorability towards another tribemate went up?