Épisode Dix: Mourning un Chien

[Hercule Poirot]

Mlle Hopps ees doing so much. Why ees she like zis?

She said she confronted M. Peralta about 'ow zey 'ave ze same friends and 'e ees making zis 'arder on both of zem. She's such a ridiculous person. But I love 'er

[Hercule Poirot]

M. Peralta seems to 'ave been convinced to vote M. Wilde! Either zat or 'e knows M. Wilde ees playing an idol and 'e ees letting us vote into eet.

I 'ad very leetle to do with 'is conversion. All of ze credit should go to M. Briscoe and Mlle Hopps for zeir role in eet. Eet ees honestly masterful play to be able to take a tribe like zis and forge a unanimous vote, so props to zem. I'm dealing with some great players 'ere, especially M. Briscoe.

Mlle Hopps 'as 'er moments of good play. She just needs to tone down ze 'orrible moments in between.

[Hercule Poirot]

It's absolutely incredible to me how Penelope and Nick can hold Lucifer in such low regard as an ally and yet expect him to vote with them? Penelope is asking me if I think Jake's on board with the Nick plan because to her he's waffling between Lucifer and Judy, and she thinks the votes are potentially on her side, which can only mean she thinks Lucifer is voting with her against Judy?? I think they must just assume Lucifer is "anyone but me", which isn't far off, but when people are talking about "well it's between Lucifer and Judy", and the three of us are saying Nick, Lucifer doesn't have to be a genius to figure out it's his ostensible allies who are debating voting him out.

Zis sums up zeir problem so well. If you say to me "well I'd either like to vote out your closest ally or ze swing vote, but I 'aven't made up my mind yet", you can 'ardly blame me for taking zat to ze swing vote and saying 'ey, zey are considering voting you out! So zey either should 'ave committed to blindsiding M. Morningstar (and maybe we would 'ave taken eet, though granted we did 'ave our votes on M. Wilde already due to ze idol), or zey should 'ave never mentioned M. Morningstar as an option and should 'ave just went with taking out Mlle Hopps and not given us zat ammunition.

[Hercule Poirot]

Of course M. Peralta eventually flipped anyway, but 'e only did zat after M. Morningstar already 'ad, so 'e may 'ave just seen which way ze wind was blowing.

[Hercule Poirot]

It has become public that Nick is the vote and that there are at least four votes on him.

Also Mlle Hopps using passive voice 'ere ees fantastique. What she means ees zat she told M. Wilde zat ze vote was 4-3 on him hahahhahaha. Zese things don't just 'appen, Mlle Hopps. We all know you are ze one who spilled zat.

She also ees now somewhat pitching a move on M. Peralta, but I think she can be moved off of eet. She ees such a fou and I love eet. Just an absolute crazy person. I find 'er 'ighly entertaining. I 'ope ze spectateurs enjoy 'er as much as I do. I'm going to try to keep 'er around for a long time just for my own amusement.

[Hercule Poirot]

Oh and Mlle Hopps also 'as told everyone about ze tiger idol. What a delightful person.

[Scully and Hitchcock]

HITCHCOCK: Thank you so much for saving Mable.
SCULLY: Mable is what he calls his favorite toilet seat.  Thank you so much for rescuing Gloria.
HITCHCOCK: Gloria is Scully's girl.  And by girl I mean toilet seat.  She's in the stall right next door to Mable.
SCULLY: Anyway, sorry you haven't seen us lately.  We've been getting... reacquainted.
HITCHCOCK: We're here now though!  So can you please catch us up on your game so far?  Give us the full debriefing!
SCULLY: Well, maybe not the full debriefing.  Maybe just a few sentences.
HITCHCOCK: Three sentences or less, please!

[Hercule Poirot]

Alors, at ze start of ze game, I was in a strong alliance with M. Grouch and Mlle Hopps, but I knew zat Mlle Hopps was an unhinged crazy person and wanted to work with 'er anyway. Zen I swapped and got into a four-person alliance with M. Briscoe, Mlle Hopps, and M. Kennedy called "LL 'Cule J", and my tribe proceeded to lose every single challenge and vote everyone else on ze tribe who was not in zat alliance off. Now I 'ave swapped again and I got into an alliance with M. Peralta, who ees with everyone, and M. Briscoe, my true closest ally in ze game, and Mlle Judy ees once again being an unhinged crazy person, but she found ze idol and I love 'er and I still want to keep 'er around anyway.

[Scully and Hitchcock]

HITCHCOCK: Are you a Frenchman, Poirot?  Interesting fact, my buddy Scully here actually is fluent in French.  Scully, respond to Poirot here for us.
SCULLY:  Okay. (clears throat) Merci.

[Hercule Poirot]

I am actually Belgian, mes amis, but eet ees no matter. De rien, M. Scully.

[Hercule Poirot]

I don't know if I should undo my vote and let Mlle Hopps be idoled. I don't think she needs eet, and eet would be 'orrible to do so and zen go 'ome.

She told me to leave eet on 'er, so until she says otherwise I will not unvote.

[Hercule Poirot]

Mlle Hopps wants me to unvote, which I am comfortable doing. I do not think zat ze vote ees on me. If I went 'ome after 'aving ze chance to be Immune, eet would be 'orrible, but eet ees not really my idol to play anyway.

With zat said, I'm going to wait until closer to deadline just to see if I get any weird feelings.

[Hercule Poirot]

I am so much more paranoid 'ere zan I should be, I think because I know I currently 'ave ze idol on myself and eet would be so 'orrible to go 'ome when I could 'ave been safe. But I don't think eet would be me, I think ze target would be M. Briscoe over me. And ze only way eet 'appens if ees M. Wilde some'ow 'ad an idol.

I don't know why Mlle Hopps felt ze need to include M. Wilde though in ze plan to vote 'im off, eet makes everything so much more stressful. For ze sake of my relationship with 'er, I should probably just give 'er ze idol like I said I would. Eet really ees hers, after all.

[Hercule Poirot]

Although if I am honest, I think she would work with me either way.

[Hercule Poirot]

If I die 'ere, honestly good for M. Wilde. I think eet would be a funny way to go. And zis way Mlle Hopps ees guaranteed to continue blessing ze game with 'er presence.