Épisode Dix: Mourning un Chien

[Hercule Poirot]

Today we memorialize un pauvre chien

M. Cheddar, eet was a pleasure to meet you zis game. I am sad to see you go, because I think we could 'ave 'ad a 'ighly productive relationship moving forward and no one would 'ave known zat I secretly told you about ze vote on M. Chase before eet 'appened.

I'm so sorry zat you went 'ome after surviving a truly 'orrible tribe. You deserved better. You should still be in ze game.

I'm glad in a way zat eet was not M. Kennedy, and I think zat you might 'ave targeted Mlle Hopps, which would 'ave put me in an uncomfortable situation. But eet ees sad to lose a connection nonezeless, especially since I already 'ave so few on ze other tribe.

[Hercule Poirot]

I also know zat I wasn't always ze kindest to you in my confessional, but I did grow fond of you on SVU. We will always 'ave zat experience.

[Hercule Poirot]

Also if Mlle Garcia ees American, I am wrong about my guess. Ees she maybe...

Spoiler

Adorabebs???

[close]

[Hercule Poirot]

Potentially controversial spitball.

Lennie, thoughts on purposefully doing poorly here to protect Leon and make use of the idol ourselves?

I mean y'all can control the narrative and we can idol out whoever we want. Especially if the vote starts and Lennie goes, yup I'm sick of being allied with Judy and everyone is like "Omg I love drama lets do it" and then we like idol out someone like Jake.

Nick got back to me, Jake has not by the by.

I just worry as Leon has only potential friends in Scruff and Grouch who have both had time with the others in that group. He may not make it through one more.

Ahhhhhhhhhh no no no no no no no.

Bad plan. Bad plan.

I knew she try things like zis. And I know who she ees, so eet makes sense, but no no no no no no no no

Not smart. Abort mission.

I know she wants to play ze idol. I know she wants to make an exciting move. But zis ees such an awful plan, mon Dieu.

I will be furious if she throws ze challenge and sends me 'ome. And even if she doesn't, and we get out M. Peralta, at what cost does eet come?

[Hercule Poirot]

She apparently already competed. I don't know if she threw. Eet would not surprise me.

Uggh zis ally. Ze sad thing ees I knew exactly what I was getting into with 'er, but still. She can't sit still. Losing all of zose challenges was a blessing in disguise for 'er.

[Hercule Poirot]

Ze sad thing ees Mlle Hopps ees ze person M. Kennedy cares about ze least of our alliance, and yet, despite knowing she might be a target, she considered throwing.

You can't say ze lapin ees not a good ally, but ma foi, don't do so much!

[Hercule Poirot]

It's a corny name and also honestly doesn't carry the best connotation in my mind? Also it kinda makes me think of Jake as Nick Wilson (which he might be flattered by but I wouldn't mean in a flattering way).

M. Briscoe destroying both M. Peralta AND M. Wilson hahahahahhahahahha

M. Jake "Good Old Boy" Peralta

[Hercule Poirot]

M. Briscoe ees

Spoiler

het. Off chance of Scoots, but I really think 'e ees het.

[close]

[Hercule Poirot]

M. Kennedy will be good at zis challenge I think. I know 'e 'as lived in Saudi Arabia.

Ze only currency I would know would be Vietnamese dong, apart from ze obvious ones.

[Hercule Poirot]

Zis ees not great.

I want to push to get ze vote on M. Wilde, but I'm not sure zat I can safely do zat. Alternatively I could just let zem vote in Mlle Hopps, and zen 'ave 'er idol M. Wile out of ze game. Zat might be better.

[Hercule Poirot]

From there, the core of the BAU seems to want to work together. Nick and Penelope approached me about post-tribal collaboration, and I would like to bring you along.

I am not ze sort, monsieur, to be brought along. If anything, I will bring you along, and zen I will cut you. But if you underestimate Hercule Poirot, zen you do so at your own peril.

[Hercule Poirot]

As far as I can tell, things remain in flux, monsieur. Nothing is yet cast in stone.

Allow me to be frank.

Nick and Penelope are firmly allied, and are disinclined to vote for either you or I. I have also dissuaded them from considering Lennie.

Lennie and I were allied in the 27th, and at least for my part I am not considering him. Nor have I heard anyone mention his name. He seems indifferent to most BAUers, but is very wary of being on what he sees as being on the losing side.

Lucifer remains somewhat of an enigma to me, but appears to have reached out to the safety line thrown to him by his fellow BAUers. Going forward, I don't think he has the groundwork for long-term survival.

I quite like both you and Judy, but consider the carnage of the SVU as well as the survivors of it and the 99th. Grouch Cop and Lucifer have both made new pacts with allies from the BAU, and seem poised to move on from there. Cheddar is gone, and Quentin was...well, never really there. I have made some headway with Judy, but I don't think anyone else really has. Mon ami, you have made friends where most were anticipating an opponent. I myself was quite prepared to face obdurate opposition, and you have been perhaps the most pleasant surprise of the game. I think you would personally be best served to take the hand being offered to you, and evolve into a new paradigm.

So to sum up, I am going to talk to talk to Lennie about this, but it very much looks like it is down to Lucifer and Judy, with the former BAU appearing unified. Going into the merge, I would rather have you as a friend than alienate you.

Zis ees such a bad message. I love 'ow 'e ees giving me advice, as if I need eet from 'im. And 'ow 'e says eet ees down to M. Morningstar or Mlle Hopps, and zose are ze only options. What if I don't want zose to be ze options though? Why should I 'ave to just go along with what you say?

'E ees right though zat I do 'ave to worry about eet damaging ze relationships zat I 'ave formed, and zat I 'ave done a good job ingratiating myself with zese people. I don't think voting out M. Wilde ees throwing zat away.

[Hercule Poirot]

Also can I just say 'ow sketchy eet ees zat M. Wilde ees giving information about ze idol to someone who 'e supposedly ees okay with voting out? Because based on what 'e ees saying to me, either Mlle Hopps or M. Morningstar going ees fine, but if zat ees really ze case, wouldn't you want M. Lucifer to not 'ave found ze idol? Eet doesn't really make sense.

I think even entertaining M. Lucifer was just a smokescreen, and zey were always set on Mlle Hopps.

I just sent zis in our group chat.

I would not be shocked at all if zis was a 4-3 vote on Mlle Hopps, and she idoled correctly and sent M. Wilde 'ome. Eet would even make me 'appy in some ways zat we used eet correctly, though eet ees fun to not need ze idol at all and still play eet.

But ze fact zat zey apparently know about ze idol too ees worrying. I was around ten seconds faster zan Mlle Hopps at voting, but currently ze plan ees for me to unvote so zat Mlle Hopps can play ze idol on 'erself.

If we lose by zose ten seconds, I will be upset. And I'm not unvoting until I absolutely 'ave to.

[Hercule Poirot]

So on the subject of my role staying hidden, if it turns out the vote appears to be solidly on Judy, should I just vote that way knowing that the idol will likely be played (and if it isn't, well then it wouldn't have made a difference?)? I don't bring this up lightly, I never want to cast a vote for an ally even if it's negated, but it could help maintain lines of communication I can use to bring us back information later. Let me know what you think (Judy especially).

Honestly? Not a 'orrible plan. If we got beaten to ze punch with ze idol, zat would suck, naturellement, but eet would achieve zat at least and create some distance between M. Briscoe and I.

Eet leaves Mlle Hopps and I out to dry in a way, since we will stand out like sore thumbs come merge, but eet could potentially give us a lot of distance moving forward into ze merge, which would not be an entirely bad thing. Maybe short-term makes ze early merge dangerous, but long-term could yield amazing benefits.

But eet's also ze sort of move zat ees incredibly showy and makes eet 'arder to justify taking M. Briscoe to ze end. I'm not scared of losing ze final vote, and I think I 'ave done a good job so far and played a strong game zat would be worthy of winning, but if I 'ad ze choice, would I take M. Briscoe at zis point? I'm not sure. I never anticipated 'aving ze choice, but a plan like zis could open up possiblities.

[Hercule Poirot]

My fear, and maybe zis ees paranoia talking, ees zat zey suspect ze idol ees being played on Mlle Hopps, so zey move ze votes on to me. I think I've worked Mlle Garcia to ze point where she would not be willing to do zat, but eet ees always a worry.

And especially if I gave up a successful idol play on myself and went 'ome, zat would be truly horrible. So not making any decisions at zis time.