Social

[Hercule Poirot]

Poirot: Another question and something that always rubbed me the wrong way about your game that you seem to open up a bit in your speech; there were a lot of votes that you completely chalked up to Judy or the way you played always made you seem attached at the hip to her. To me, this gave me vibes that you were closed off and unwavering. Sure, you would talk about how she needed to go sooner or later, and you'd make efforts to distance yourself from her erratic gameplay whenever you could, but not being able to openly talk about votes with others completely closed off paths in my opinion and made me feel like I could never get you on my side so why even try? We had a great social bond, but I knew, strategically, our plans would never align so we both knew we couldn't lie to each other and pretend there was a both forward. What if your contingency plans fell through? Or others were lying to you? Or Judy gets you before you could get her? Did you have a way out that didn't include the exact paths that the game went through?

I think zis ees an extremely valid criticism. I know exactly what you mean.

So, I think ze Mlle Hopps thing was legitimate, c'est vrai, we were close, but I also played eet up a leetle. Like I said somewhere else, I was leaning into eet a bit and allowing zat to be my public perception so zat my relationships to be people like M. Briscoe, M. Kennedy, and even M. Cohle were not as noticeable. Also part of ze problem was zat Mlle Hopps 'ad an unfortunate timezone, so if I needed 'er vote for something, I 'ad to wait for 'er to wake up to know if I 'ad eet. I didn't want to commit to anything zat might not 'appen without first consulting 'er. But zat ees not a great excuse.

But saying zat I was closed off with you at a certain point ees absolutely fair, and when we started out zat was not ze direction I intended for things to go between us, but eet probably did become a self-fulfilling at a certain point. I'm probably not ze best at 'aving strategic conversations with someone who I'm strategically opposed to, especially someone who I 'ave such a strong social bond with because eet feels like we should be allies, but we really aren't. But maybe we only weren't because I already 'ad committed my allegiance elsewhere, and I didn't want to give you false 'ope or jeopardize what I already 'ad built up.

Eet probably ees ze case zat in my mind, at a certain point I was committed to ze M. Briscoe, M. Peralta, M. Kennedy side of things and really wasn't going to do anything else unless ze game gave me some reason to, but I do think zat I was perceptive and if a serious problem emerged, I would 'ave been able to see eet and react. I also think zat if eet 'ad suddenly been in both of our best interests to vote together, like eet might 'ave been at final 5 if you won Immunity, par exemple, we would 'ave been able to make eet work. We always kept ze line of communication open at least.

I find ze argument zat I didn't 'ave contigency plans or zat I only 'ad one path to ze end kind of bizarre, because I was not sitting at ze F9 thinking zat I was going to be 'ere in ze F2 with M. Morningstar or zat ze game would go ze way zat eet 'as. Zis ees a contingency plan. I thought zat M. Morningstar might be booted as soon as ze following round, but things change, circumstances change, and I think zat more zan anyone else on my side of ze game, I actually proved myself to be adaptable and to be able to survive things changing and shifting around.

And I don't think zat I ever actually permanently shut ze door on us working together, I just 'eld ze door permanently slightly ajar. I do understand why zat would be frustrating for you, 'owever, and why eet might leave a sour taste in your mouth. I'm sorry if zere ees a better way I should 'ave 'andled our relationship. I tend to be ze type of player who likes to commit to a particular plan and fight for zat plan until eet ees no longer feasible rather zan a Mlle Hopps type who wants to form a new plan every round, but a consequence of zat ees zat with someone like you, we were working against each other and both in ze game together for a long time. I would 'ave been willing to change course if I 'ad to, as I did after M. Briscoe went 'ome, but I never needed to, and as a result, our relationship was in some strange state of limbo for a long time until you went 'ome.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

Luci, you made it!!! I'm so proud of you my bestest friend. But, oof, that speech buddy. It's very vague, and I'll address more of it over in the strategy thread, but the part I want to get at here is different. At no point in your opening speech do you name anybody specific with any thing. And I would really like you to go through what sort of connections you had to each of the jurors and what they meant to you. You had to do a lot to get here, and had to do with with people, so tell us about it. What are the social highlights of your path to the end here?

Hercule, mon ami, I have a similar yet different task for you. You did talk a lot about how you connected to people int his merge, but a lot of how you spoke made it sound like you were forced into making certain social decisions, and you distanced yourself from them and glossed over other bits. And that's not good enough for me. You betrayed me super hard and brutally, and while that doesn't mean you have lost my vote because of it, you have a whole lot more justifying of it, and distancing from it won't do you any favours. I don't want you to apologize and wring your hands over how bad a person/player you were for making those moves, I want you to own them. One of your biggest strengths is your social game, no? So I want you to elaborate on how you best used that to your advantage, as well as where you misjudged and messed up. And do it where you talk about people as people, not just people chess. I want to know how you connected to people as themselves and how you played on that front.

So I'm just going to go chronologically based on when the jurors got eliminated:
Starting with Pikachu: I was able to build a relationship with him fairly early into the BAU. I had a three-way alliance with him and Nick largely due to our mutual love of video games and I thought that put me in a pretty solid position to work with him if we went to any tribals there. Obviously that didn't happen, but we were still able to reconnect at the merge and work together during that first tribal. Unfortunately he went home during that idol play and we weren't able to continue working together- it was sad for me because I thought there was good potential for us and I'd enjoyed reconnecting with him, but it didn't happen.

My relationship with Scruff was honestly one of my bigger disappointments in the game. It felt like a little bit of a missed opportunity on my part. I thought we had got off to a pretty good start early on during our time on the BAU despite my bad opening line about dogs and made an alliance, but it kind of fell apart during merge. We talked a little bit at the beginning of merge and I thought we might be able to work together, but I felt like he was wanting to target Judy and that wasn't something I was interested in and then he went home shortly after.

For you- you were my bestest friend too. I was really happy we were able to ally early on in the game and got swapped together. I loved our conversations and all the music recommendations you gave me. You were the one person in the game I felt like I could fully trust and pitch my ideas to. I really appreciated you as an ally and I tried to convey that to you through my messages to you while you were still in the game.

Jake was another player I really liked early on. We also talked a lot about music too and I really liked his charismatic personality. We also had an alliance early on the BAU, unfortunately I felt like the swap to the strike team hurt our relationship a lot. It seemed like we started talking a lot less after that and then after I decided to vote for Nick instead of going with Judy like he wanted- communication between us became even more infrequent.

Lennie was someone I regret not being able to connect with more. I felt like we had some good conversations about things out of the game and I really appreciated his recommendations for trivia, but we were never really able to build up trust with each other and work together a lot during the game. Outside of the vote on Nick, it felt like we were opposed basically every step of the way.

I had an interesting relationship with Judy- she was one of my favorite people early on the 99 and I really loved the creative opening PM I got from her, but then Officer Jenny proposed an alliance that kind of made things awkward between us a little bit. Thankfully I felt like we were able to reconnect on the Strike Team and keep working together. Like I said earlier- I think that connection was crucial to my survival during those middle rounds of merge. If she doesn't keep me safe from going home at F9 and get people to vote you instead and side with me/Penelope/Rust to vote out Jake at F8 over me there's probably no way I'm here.

Penelope was another person I really liked. I felt like our conversation started off slow on the BAU to be honest, but after we got together on the Strike team we talked more and I absolutely adored her. She'd make these playful remarks that I found really funny and she was also incredibly understanding after the Nick vote and super gracious even when she went home. I really appreciated having her as an ally.

Leon was the only person I hadn't met coming into merge- so I felt like our relationship got off to a slow start, but after I got to know him, he was really nice and supportive. Like just always super nice to me and I appreciated that. I was able to count on him in the F7-F5 votes and was really hoping we could make it even deeper into the game.

Lastly, Rust was also super important. On a personal note- he got me to try True Detective which was good and I loved having him as an ally throughout merge. Both him and Penelope had my back constantly this game and it meant a lot to me. He seemed like a really down to earth person and I could always count on him.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

I agree with Scruff's comment in the Strategic thread, I think this Jury is not bitter in the slightest.

Poirot: You've openly admitted you had to lie through your teeth to Grouch during their vote and convince Leon to send himself home by manipulating his perception of the vote; I guess my question then is, what were active steps you were taking to ensure you were maintaining proper jury management? If the jury was more frustrated about the ways this manipulation manifested itself, how were you prepared to handle those lines of questioning? Additionally, do you see this as an accurate portrayal of your game or am I offbase in saying manipulation was a part of it?


Lucifer, you state in your opening speech that you are aware social gameplay isn't your best trait. What are some things that you learned from this game that you could take into future games you play? What connections did you see as your strongest and what did you do to maintain their strength and making sure you were utilizing them to the best of your ability?

I think one thing I'd really like to improve on in my social game is to talk and work with people more even when I'm not close to them and actively voting the same way with them. I survived this game and made it here, so it turned out OK, but I think being able to work with Scruff/Jake/Lennie in particular or at least having that possibility could've given me more options this game. I still talked with Lennie some, but my conversations with Jake completely fell apart and we didn't talk much at all the latter half of this game.

I already talked about my connections in general a bit above, but I think my strongest connection was with Grouch. I'd connected with them really early on in the game and except for those few rounds on the Strike Team, I was with them the entire game. I kept them in the loop about almost everything that was going on in the game and my future ideas, so I think that helped maintain the relationship and they returned the favor a lot allowing me to utilize the relationship.

[Lennie Briscoe]

Lennie was someone I regret not being able to connect with more. I felt like we had some good conversations about things out of the game and I really appreciated his recommendations for trivia, but we were never really able to build up trust with each other and work together a lot during the game. Outside of the vote on Nick, it felt like we were opposed basically every step of the way.

I totally get this, circumstances didn't work out great for us in the merge and I certainly could have done a lot more to discuss the game more.

One thing I'm curious about though: after Jake left, I proposed a final 3 of me, you, and Leon (sorry Hercule ), I'm curious what your thoughts on that were. Obviously you saw me going at F7 as working for your game (and it did, you're here), but I'm wondering if you thought that I wasn't being sincere or just that you had better options going forward? I ask because I think that my presentation of the situation was accurate, that between the pairs of you/Rust and me/Poirot, we had the lesser argument compared to our respective partners, so it made the most sense for us to sit next to each other.

I want to be clear that as Scruff said elsewhere, I'm not bitter about anything and not holding anything against anyone here, I'm just interested to hear your thoughts.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

For both of you.

How integral to votes do you feel like you were? Specifically in the latter stages of the game as I know Lucifer, you didn't have tribals, and Poirot, I know your trajectory already and there was no non-unanimous decisions on SVU.

I think there is a point of contention on specific tribals for both of you. I would like Lucifer to highlight the eliminations of Scruff/Myself/Leon

And I would like Poirot to shed light on Jake/Myself/Rust

PS. To mirror what everyone is saying, we're a pretty chill Jury tbh. Been a pleasant debrief on the game so far.

I think it really depended on the vote, I guess? Like I think I was very integral in some of the latter votes in the game in particular, whereas early on that wasn't as much the case- especially when like Grouch and Pikachu went- I had no real role in that.

I feel like I played a role in the Scruff vote- going into that tribal and around the start of it, I'd heard of Rust's name as a possibility and I also anticipated I was a possible vote- I knew both of those options would be bad for me and I was worried  about the 27 players, since I thought they were fairly tight and I wasn't that close with any of them. I suggested Scruff as a vote and pitched it to a couple people since I didn't feel particularly close with him at that point and thought it could be a bit of a compromise since I felt like Jake wasn't as likely to get traction with Pikachu gone. I knew Hercule and you weren't too keen on voting him out and I wasn't sure Scruff would be either since we wouldn't have a majority at that point.

I felt a bit bad about the vote on you, because like I alluded to earlier, I don't think I would've got to that spot without you- but I was very much in favor of that happening too. I got the impression that Hercule and Leon to a lesser degree preferred Penelope going- but I didn't want that. Both because of my longtime alliance with her and the fact that I felt more secure in a final 5 with Penelope there. I knew I could count on Rust and Penelope to vote you and I figured I could kind of bully the others into it if I had to because I had immunity.

I wasn't integral to the Leon vote. I had wanted to work with Leon and would've forced a tiebreaker challenge to keep him around, but based on his messages I thought he was going to vote Rust but he misled me much to my confusion.

[Hercule Poirot]

Also, I'm gonna tack this on to both of you, what kind of jury management did you try to do, or did you not really bother? As a whole, not exactly a bitter jury no, but I think there's definitely a lot of annoyance about certain kinds of treatment. So I want to know if you didn't do much jury management, why not? And even if you did try and maybe it didn't pay off, what were you planning on doing if you did walk into a jury filled with people who were incredibly upset at you about how you handled them and the rounds they went out? I'd like to know for each juror what you you were thinking worst case scenario you were going to have to explain and own and apologize for?

I definitely think I made attempts at Jury management. Whether or not they were successful, I'm less sure. I am usually uncomfortable with incredibly overt Jury management, especially telling the person that they are going home right before deadline when you are the reason or at least part of the reason that they are going home. I only did that with people like M. Briscoe and M. Peralta where I could honestly say zat I was doing my best to save zem, but zey were going 'ome despite my best efforts. And realistically I told zem far before deadline to give zem ze best chance to actually fight for themselves. Telling someone right before deadline ees just kind of tacky to me, but every Juror ees different and I'm sure some Jurors appreciate zat.

With you I definitely attempted to Jury manage, and I think if you reread my last few PMs to you, you will see attempts zere. I honestly felt a leetle gross about eet, because I think showering someone with compliments right before you vote zem out ees a bit blatant, but eet felt authentic to me in ze moment. I just really wanted you to know zat I did care about you, I did genuinely like you, our relationship was never fake, and even though I thought eet was in my best interest to take you out when I did, zat doesn't mean zat our relationship wasn't real up until zat point. Eet ees 'ard to prove zat, but eet was ze truth, and I knew 'ow shocked and confused you would be when you saw your name come up five times, so I tried to 'elp give you some answers in our final moments together. I may 'ave been too subtle, but also I 'ad to be because ze vote was 5-4, zere were so many things zat could 'ave gone wrong. An idol could 'ave been played, someone could 'ave flipped. Zere was no way I could give you a 'eads up about zat vote, but I definitely did attempt to Jury manage ze best way I could. I know zat your blindside was especially brutal, and I don't blame you for being upset with me about eet, but I did try to 'andle eet in ze best way zat I could.

With others zere were definitely attempts. Mlle Garcia I certainly Jury managed. M. Cohle I certainly Jury managed. M. Kennedy, maybe not so much, but eet was so important zat 'e not realize what was 'appening and change 'is vote, so I just 'oped zat our personal relationship was still strong enough for me to earn 'is vote. Even M. Pikachu I tried to Jury manage in a way by trying to make some personal connection with 'im before 'e was voted out, though of course I didn't know zat 'e was going 'ome when 'e did. Mlle Hopps and M. McGruff I didn't really Jury manage either, but that was mostly because neither of zem were talking to me up until deadline during ze time when zeir votes really took off, so I wasn't ever talking to zem while knowing zat zey were about to get sent to ze Jury, though I did know zeir names were on ze table per'aps.

I do think I 'ave played an extremely strong game, so if people were incredibly upset and angry, my plan was just to 'ope zat enough people respected my game to still vote for me. And I also did 'ave genuine social bonds with most of you, so even if you're mad at me for severing zem, I think zat ees better zan ze social bond not existing at all. Genuinely connecting with people ees ze best form of Jury management.

I will go through and say what I think each Juror should 'ate me for, if you insist, mon ami. 

M. Pikachu- I don't think M. Pikachu 'as any raison to be angry with me in particular. We were both targeting each other during ze merge round, we both realized zat ze votes were not zere and agreed to vote together, and zen 'e still got taken out in a freak accident. If anything, I feel zat 'e might feel zat we didn't connect zat well because we were only together for a round, but zat wasn't my fault. And I enjoyed our conversation for ze short time we were together. I enjoying our conversation about musical theater, and I 'ope zat 'is rehearsals 'ave been going well, assuming zat zey are still ongoing.

M. McGruff- M. McGruff said zat 'e was mad at me on 'is way out for asking 'im what 'e was thinking so late into ze round when 'e knew zat I was against 'im, which honestly, fair enough. To be fair to me, at ze point where I sent zat, I believe ze votes were actually on M. Cohle, but I was definitely actively against zat and working to send M. McGruff 'ome, so I probably was being a bit fake when I sent zat message. I was not intentionally ignoring M. McGruff at any point, 'owever. I woke up to over 20 messages zat morning, more zan any other night in ze game, so I was slowly working through zem and doing some other tasks at ze same time. I think M. McGruff's schedule just didn't align with mine. If anything, similar to M. Pikachu, M. McGruff might feel zat we didn't 'ave as deep of a social bond, especially since I 'ave been talked about so much as a 'uge social presence, but our conversations were enjoyable to me, but honestly solely about ze game? I think zis ees because coming into ze merge, M. McGruff was someone I really wanted to work with due to our mutual connections, so I really wanted to make up for lost time and talk strategy, and 'e was easy to talk strategy with, but with 'im being an early Jury, I wish we 'ad gotten ze chance to 'ave more personal conversations so zat I could know M. McGruff ze person a bit more instead of just M. McGruff ze player.

M. Grouch-I backstabbed you. 'Ard. And my expectation-setting with you was especially bad. I think you 'ave as much reason as anyone on ze Jury to be bitter against me.

M. Peralta- I don't think M. Peralta 'as any reason to be mad at me. I fought for 'im to stay. I was as loyal to 'im as I could be. I did my best, M. Peralta.

M. Briscoe- Ze same as for M. Peralta. 'E 'as no reason to be angry with me.

Mlle Hopps- I didn't tell 'er about ze vote on 'er? I went back on our F2? I think she 'as some reason to be a leetle un'appy with me.

Mlle Garcia- I think we 'ave already explored zis, but I shut 'er down in ze game a lot and wasn't giving 'er much of a chance to work with me in any kind of serious way in a way zat I think could breed animosity, but unlike with M. Grouch I did much better job of expectation setting 'ere, so zat ees at least something.

M. Kennedy- Basically every message I sent to 'im from ze moment M. Morningstar won Immunity ees a reason for 'im not to vote for me. I threatened not to vote for 'im if 'e didn't let me make fire, and I think zat was what ultimately convinced 'im. I understand if 'e 'as difficulty voting for me.

M. Cohle- I don't think M. Cohle really 'as any raison to be angry with me. Ze only reason 'e might be ees zat I'm not entirely convinced zat I was taking 'im to ze end if I won zat final challenge even though I do believe 'e was taking me, but honestly I didn't expect to win eet so I didn't fully consider ze possibility, though I did try my best. Logic puzzles are ze bane of my existence. But realistically, I thought my odds were better against M. Morningstar zan against 'im, so although I would 'ave 'eard 'is arguments and emotionally I would 'ave wanted to take 'im to ze end, I don't think zat I could cast a vote zat I thought reduced my chances of winning ze game. Zis ees too important to me.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

Also, I'm gonna tack this on to both of you, what kind of jury management did you try to do, or did you not really bother? As a whole, not exactly a bitter jury no, but I think there's definitely a lot of annoyance about certain kinds of treatment. So I want to know if you didn't do much jury management, why not? And even if you did try and maybe it didn't pay off, what were you planning on doing if you did walk into a jury filled with people who were incredibly upset at you about how you handled them and the rounds they went out? I'd like to know for each juror what you you were thinking worst case scenario you were going to have to explain and own and apologize for?

It really varied a lot for me? So like I didn't really do any jury management when you/Pikachu/Leon went, but that was largely because I was opposed to those votes and I didn't necessarily know they were happening, and I felt like opposing the votes was a form of jury management in its own way?

I did do a little more when Penelope went- like I told her that's what was happening because I felt like I owed that to her and I felt like we left on good terms. Obviously he didn't go home, but I told Rust I was voting for him at F4 and explained why too. Obviously people can still feel betrayed despite that and I realize that, but I guess that was my way of trying to manage things a little bit by at least keeping them informed and not lying to them.

I did try to reach out to Scruff as he was going to do damage control, but I felt like that kind of backfired. I think it came across as insincere and didn't go over well and I felt bad about that.

I didn't really do much when Jake/Lennie went due to a combination of reasons. I felt like they might understand it since we'd largely been opposed most of the merge and then we hadn't talked a ton prior so it felt like it would be a little awkward reaching out and I didn't necessarily know how to approach it and I didn't want to create a situation like I did with Scruff where it felt insincere to them and came across poorly. I also wasn't trying to be particularly overt in case there was still an idol in play. Obviously that doesn't excuse failures on my part, but that's where I was at.

That really just leaves Judy- obviously I'm happy none of you are bitter, but I honestly wondered if she might be and I felt like it would've been warranted to a degree. Once again, I didn't say a ton because of idols and awkwardness, but I did feel bad about what had happened there. I really never had intent to take her to the end, but I felt compelled to lead her on because without her vote I would've probably been doomed in those mid rounds, so if there was animosity there I wouldn't have faulted her.

I don't think there's any great way to fix the jury being bitter at you- I'd try to own up to the mistakes I made and apologize to anyone I hurt. I'd also try to do better in the future- this is a side note and it might sound weird since it happens so much in these games, but voting someone out is always something I feel really awkward about and if any of you have like requests or suggestions for how to handle it better, I'd be happy to listen honestly. I realize I could improve at it, I'm just not necessarily sure what the best way to go about it is, especially with idols being in the game.

[Hercule Poirot]

Okay but, you say that the end game I wanted and you wanted were drastically different, right? And yet the people who followed me right out of the game were the people I didn't want in the game. The only difference between the endgame I wanted to have, and the one that happened is I was replaced by Leon. So, that sounds an awful lot like bullshit and you telling me what you think I want to hear. Our entire relationship was based on honesty, blunt honesty. And that's what I'm asking for from you. If me leaving was your doing more so than it was anybody else's, then I need a much better reason that what you've said. Cuz that's not good enough. I liked Lennie and would have loved to do things with him, as I told you, but we had just not been on the same side of the vote. I was more than willing to do other things, as I told you again and again. Lucifer going home instead of me would have sucked, sure, but that at least made sense as I could understand you would never think he'd place you over me. Hell, it would have put me that much firmly into having to work with you further because you'd be my best option, no? Which again, I told you. I was worried about going places with you because in the group of people you liked, you were the only one who actually valued me at all. And I told you about that, but I wasn't saying I needed you out of the game, just that the path you wanted going forward as you stated it to me, left me completely at your whim and mercy where I would have just been your puppet. I wanted options that meant we were actually working as partners, but that's not the path you chose. All you had to do was tell me that though, that's all you ever had to do. I'm just really finding it hard to see why this path to the end you had is one that fits with the way you and I talked about whether we had a path together to the end game. It's incredibly hard not to see the way you got to the end and with whom and how you played with them to be different from the kind of plans we were making together. If using what I told you and what I thought is part of your social game, then that's okay, but just say that rather than make it sound like you couldn't have gotten this with me in the game.

Also, I don't know where else to put this, so it gets to be tacked on here, I don't feel from either of you any sort of passion for this game. Did you have fun? Did you pour a lot of yourself into this? Do you even want to win this? Do you think the games you played should win this? Where's your emotionality, you both have it, where is it in your presentation?

I didn't get ze votes I wanted immediately after you went 'ome. I did not plan for M. Peralta and M. Briscoe to be ze next two to go. I was absolutely not in control of zose votes, and I fought to prevent zem. Honestly, 'ad I expected zat to 'appen ze way eet did, I probably would 'ave pushed ze vote on to M. Morningstar instead of you. I 'ave wondered for hours and hours whether I made ze right move taking you out when I did, before, during and after doing eet. Zere 'ave been moments where I regretted eet. Zere 'ave been moments where I think I made ze right call. Given who I'm sitting next to maintenant, I do think I made ze right call, because M. Morningstar ended up being my path to ze end and 'e was ze other option, and I essentially kept 'im because I felt less close with 'im which I know ees counter-intuitive. But zat vote 'ad ramifications zat I didn't think eet would when I was making eet. I didn't really know what ze ramifications would be or 'ow ze rest of ze game would react to a line being drawn so clearly in ze sand.

In ze past, I 'ave been in ze situation where I 'ave 'ad to make a move, and I 'ave kept ze person I was closest to around, and eet 'as never worked out for me, so part of my decision might 'ave been informed by zat. From my perspective at ze time, I wasn't sure what ze future 'eld. All I knew for sure was zat I needed to vote for you, M. Morningstar, Mlle Garcia, or M. Cohle. I thought eet was a strong possibility zat SVU would just go on to dominate and pick everyone else in ze game off, so zen eet was a choice between eliminating you while you were an ally or letting you live long enough to become an enemy. Letting you, who knew me better zan almost anyone else in ze game, work against me for multiple rounds. Zat seemed like a realistic possibility. Obviously zat ees not ze way things played out, but at ze time I didn't know zat. Like I say in speech, I knew zat a storm was coming. I wanted to put myself in ze best, safest position to weather zat storm.

You said zat thing about you being my puppet during ze game too, and eet really stuck with me, M. Grouch. I think zat ees eet actually. I didn't want to do zat to you. I didn't want to force vote after vote through against you will. I didn't want to 'ave to subject you to zat. I wanted our relationship to be as eet was, forever. I preferred you being eliminated to 'aving to continue existing with me in ze game with our relationship a 'ollow shell of what eet once was. Zat may not be 'ow eet would 'ave actually played out, but at ze time, zat was my perspective on things. Voting out you was like ripping off ze bandaid and dealing with ze most painful vote first instead of delaying and letting eet fester.

Keep in mind zat ze people who survived like M. Morningstar and Mlle Garcia 'ad to put up with me openly targeting zem for multiple rounds. I wasn't even lying to zem. I told zem zat I wanted zem gone and wasn't able to make eet 'appen. Could our relationship 'ave withstood zat? Would you be any less 'urt zan you are maintenant? Maybe so. But I feared eet, M. Grouch. I fear 'aving to face you, not on even ground as we always 'ad done, but as potential rivals.

I also feared ze amount of dirt zat you 'ad on me and ze damage you could do to my game if you really wanted to. M. Morningstar did initially try to target me in anger after you went, but eet was immediately shot down by everyone. I don't think you would 'ave wanted me gone immediately, because as you say, I was one of your best options. And could I risk eet? Because our relationship was not going back to ze same way eet always was. I was choosing a side, planting my flag. And whoever I was leaving in ze game, I was leaving in ze game to be ze opposing alliance.

I understand zat a lot of my perspective seems silly now knowing ze way ze game played out, knowing zat M. Morningstar and I are ze F2 and like, c'est vrai, eet ees true, zis easily could be you instead of 'im. But zis ees Survivor, zis ees a game of limited information. I made ze best decision with ze information zat I 'ad at ze time, and honestly, I am 'appy with ze choice zat I made because I like ze way things played out. Eet definitely was ze right move to take out one of ze four of you. Whether or not I chose ze right person to take out in you I don't know, and I probably will never know. But I made ze choice I felt was best at ze time, and zat ees all zat I can do.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

Lennie was someone I regret not being able to connect with more. I felt like we had some good conversations about things out of the game and I really appreciated his recommendations for trivia, but we were never really able to build up trust with each other and work together a lot during the game. Outside of the vote on Nick, it felt like we were opposed basically every step of the way.

I totally get this, circumstances didn't work out great for us in the merge and I certainly could have done a lot more to discuss the game more.

One thing I'm curious about though: after Jake left, I proposed a final 3 of me, you, and Leon (sorry Hercule ), I'm curious what your thoughts on that were. Obviously you saw me going at F7 as working for your game (and it did, you're here), but I'm wondering if you thought that I wasn't being sincere or just that you had better options going forward? I ask because I think that my presentation of the situation was accurate, that between the pairs of you/Rust and me/Poirot, we had the lesser argument compared to our respective partners, so it made the most sense for us to sit next to each other.

I want to be clear that as Scruff said elsewhere, I'm not bitter about anything and not holding anything against anyone here, I'm just interested to hear your thoughts.

First off- I lied about agreeing to that and I'm sorry if it upset you. I basically just say yes to everything anyone offers me in this game- it's a bad habit.

I guess my answer is that it was a mixture of the two. I was a bit hesitant to trust you because I felt like we'd just been against each other a lot and even the round you went I'd heard rumors that you had brought my name up because you were worried I was like a lock to make the end? So I was unsure of how much I could truly trust you.

Part of me also did feel like I had better options that were more reliable and safer and I'd hoped to work myself into a more advantageous position through them. You were far from the only person to offer me an F3- at that point in the game almost everyone had. Also, I was aware the game could and honestly kind of hopeful the game would be an F2. Had that happened I would've felt nervous, because I think you were a little better at challenges than Hercule and in the event Leon were to win, I felt like he would've taken you over me due to your close relationship.

The last reason I was hesitant about it was because I was concerned how we'd get to that final 3? I thought you were really likely to try to take out Penelope first and I didn't really want that. I wanted to keep my allies around because I felt like it gave me more security heading into late game and perceptually, I think it also gave me more control over the game. Like I didn't want the boot order to be something like penelope>rust>judy>hercule because in my mind I feel like it's a lot easier to spin it that you controlled those votes and carried me to the end instead of vice versa.

Also side note: I saw your other question, Grouch. I plan on answering it, but I wanted to move on for now because I have a lot I want to say and it's taking me a while to write that post and I'm a tad behind on questions.

[Lennie Briscoe]

I totally get this, circumstances didn't work out great for us in the merge and I certainly could have done a lot more to discuss the game more.

One thing I'm curious about though: after Jake left, I proposed a final 3 of me, you, and Leon (sorry Hercule ), I'm curious what your thoughts on that were. Obviously you saw me going at F7 as working for your game (and it did, you're here), but I'm wondering if you thought that I wasn't being sincere or just that you had better options going forward? I ask because I think that my presentation of the situation was accurate, that between the pairs of you/Rust and me/Poirot, we had the lesser argument compared to our respective partners, so it made the most sense for us to sit next to each other.

I want to be clear that as Scruff said elsewhere, I'm not bitter about anything and not holding anything against anyone here, I'm just interested to hear your thoughts.

First off- I lied about agreeing to that and I'm sorry if it upset you. I basically just say yes to everything anyone offers me in this game- it's a bad habit.

Nah you didn't even agree to it, you were totally open about how I wasn't the first to approach you with a F3 like that, and I knew I was Too Late Lennie (to paraphrase a regrettable Survivor player). All of your reasons for going in a different direction make a lot of sense, there's definitely no hard feelings or anything.

[Hercule Poirot]

Also, I don't know where else to put this, so it gets to be tacked on here, I don't feel from either of you any sort of passion for this game. Did you have fun? Did you pour a lot of yourself into this? Do you even want to win this? Do you think the games you played should win this? Where's your emotionality, you both have it, where is it in your presentation?

Just realized zat I forgot to respond to zis.

I'm sorry zat you don't feel ze passion because I definitely do 'ave eet. Mon Dieu, mon ami, zis game 'as been so much fun. I can't even tell you what a fantastique time I 'ave 'ad. Just messaging as Poirot en général 'as been an absolute blast, but ze game eetself 'as been so much fun too. Zere 'ave been so many fun moments along ze way. I constantly found myself laughing and smiling, and I'm not saying zis for sympathy, but I think I briefly mentioned to some of you zat I 'ave 'ad some not great things going on in my personal life during ze game, so 'aving zis to escape to and tribals to plan and allies to PM 'as meant so, so much to me, more zan you even know. Zis game 'as truly been a light in my life, and I'll miss eet when eet ees gone.

I want to win so badly, like, mon ami, I am 'ungry for ze win. You don't play only for ze win, but when you make eet to ze F2 you really do want to win, and you don't want such a positive experience to end on anything other zan ze most positive note.

Like, when I tell you zat I spent hours practicing stupide logic puzzles, and zen I still failed on ze one zat actually mattered, zat should show 'ow much I care. When I tell you zat if you look at forum stats, you will see zat for a while now I 'ave more time spent online zan any other player in ze game (and I was nervous zat I would get targeted for eet, but I still couldn't stop compulsively refreshing), zat should show you 'ow much I care. When you look at ze ridiculous length of my speech (which I edited down significantly, zere were originally over 1,000 words dedicated solely to your boot, mon ami), or at ze ridiculous length of my responses to you all maintenant, or at ze ridiculous length of ze PMs I 'ave been sending everyone all game, zat should show you 'ow much I care. I want zis so, so badly.

I'm sorry if my passion 'as not come through at various points during zis FTC, especially as I get into ze more granular details, but eet ees definitely zere, I promise you. Zis game ees an experience zat I will always cherish, no matter what ze outcome ees.

[Lucifer Morningstar]

Okay but, you say that the end game I wanted and you wanted were drastically different, right? And yet the people who followed me right out of the game were the people I didn't want in the game. The only difference between the endgame I wanted to have, and the one that happened is I was replaced by Leon. So, that sounds an awful lot like bullshit and you telling me what you think I want to hear. Our entire relationship was based on honesty, blunt honesty. And that's what I'm asking for from you. If me leaving was your doing more so than it was anybody else's, then I need a much better reason that what you've said. Cuz that's not good enough. I liked Lennie and would have loved to do things with him, as I told you, but we had just not been on the same side of the vote. I was more than willing to do other things, as I told you again and again. Lucifer going home instead of me would have sucked, sure, but that at least made sense as I could understand you would never think he'd place you over me. Hell, it would have put me that much firmly into having to work with you further because you'd be my best option, no? Which again, I told you. I was worried about going places with you because in the group of people you liked, you were the only one who actually valued me at all. And I told you about that, but I wasn't saying I needed you out of the game, just that the path you wanted going forward as you stated it to me, left me completely at your whim and mercy where I would have just been your puppet. I wanted options that meant we were actually working as partners, but that's not the path you chose. All you had to do was tell me that though, that's all you ever had to do. I'm just really finding it hard to see why this path to the end you had is one that fits with the way you and I talked about whether we had a path together to the end game. It's incredibly hard not to see the way you got to the end and with whom and how you played with them to be different from the kind of plans we were making together. If using what I told you and what I thought is part of your social game, then that's okay, but just say that rather than make it sound like you couldn't have gotten this with me in the game.

Also, I don't know where else to put this, so it gets to be tacked on here, I don't feel from either of you any sort of passion for this game. Did you have fun? Did you pour a lot of yourself into this? Do you even want to win this? Do you think the games you played should win this? Where's your emotionality, you both have it, where is it in your presentation?

I am passionate about this game? I guess I'm not the best about conveying it over a forum speech, but yes, I care a lot.

One of the cool things I like about this forum is the stats on every profile and if you look at my online time- I've literally spent days on this forum. I did some math and like roughly 15% of my time the past month and a half has been spent on this game- which is crazy. This has been a massive time investment and emotional investment for me.

This game has been an integral part of my life the past few months. I've been in quarantine for the bulk of this game and have hardly left my home and it's been a really difficult period of time for me- Like I've dealt with a lot of frustration and depression in my real life and this game has helped me through it. Having all of you to talk to has helped keep me sane and comforted at a time where I've felt pretty lonely and isolated. I was thinking a couple days ago about how I'm really going to miss this game and the impact it's had on my life. One of the first things I'd do every morning when I got up was check my messages on this game and it's one of the last things I'd do before I went to bed too. I had a lot of fun talking with you- I remember when you asked me for an alliance all the way back when the game first started and it made me so happy. Like I spent the next hour with a big grin because I was so excited and it gave me so much hope from this game. I loved talking with you- there's quite a few songs on my Spotify 'Liked Songs' playlist that are only there because of you(there's also some from Jake), I know that's like trivial, but you have had an impact on my life and I hope you realize that. Getting messages from all of you would give me excitement and it was always something to look forward to. I loved it a lot and I hope you all realize that and realize that I appreciate you a lot. I'm really not trying to be a game bot.

I also think my game does deserve to win. It would mean a lot to me, but not just that- a part of me really hopes that it would have implications beyond that. I've been involved in MS Survivor for a long time and I feel like this forum often votes for people to win who are really social and play larger than life aggressive games and if you don't play that way you won't win. That's always been really daunting to me. My social skills have always been a struggle for me- both in my real life and in this game- I've had to deal with social anxiety a lot and while it's gotten a lot better, it's still a struggle at times and I think the games often exacerbate that a little bit. Because people will literally vote you out for bad social skills and so it just kind of reinforces the idea of people judging you and causes more problems. I've played a lot of survivor games on this site and my first few especially were rough- I was consistently going home early and struggling to make it even a few rounds.

I kept trying and eventually I got better, but it's a struggle. I hope this doesn't sound cheesy, but I've literally cried when I've been voted out of past games. Like these games are such a commitment and they're often intensely personal in my experience. I still go home early sometimes and even when I make it deep- sometimes I've honestly wished I hadn't. I feel like I'm the type of player who constantly gets labeled as a goat or a pawn and I've had to deal with my fair share of bitterness from people who made me feel like I didn't deserve to make it that far and just got dragged along because I was someone's puppet. And like it's not entirely unwarranted- I'm not a perfect person and I can be bitter back too- but it's really really sad to have something you poured hours into reduced to a failure. Two years ago I honestly thought about never playing a game here ever again because I'd put so much energy and effort into playing and I thought I'd done really well- only to feel pretty much ridiculed by the rest of the players in that game. This is a community that I've felt like I don't belong in sometimes and after that I was heartbroken. Obviously, I'm playing now and I'm glad I am. I was honestly really scared coming into this FTC- I was worried people might be bitter and I really wasn't sure I even wanted to be here, especially after the F4 vote didn't go my way. You all have been incredibly nice and I really appreciate that. So while like I would personally love to win, I guess a part of me hopes there could be more change beyond that.

I actually remember we talked about this a little bit- like if winning was important and we agreed that like personal improvement was more the purpose of these games and I'd still agree with that. Over the years I've learned a lot from these games- They've impacted my perspective on life in some ways and I'm way better at Robot Unicorn Attack than I used to be too. I suppose "if you're not enough without it, you'll never be enough with it."  Winning won't fix anything. That being said, I would obviously love to win this- like it would mean a lot and it would be a big accomplishment for me. While it's not the purpose, it's the goal and it would make me so happy.

[Scruff McGruff]

Quick question to both of you— in what areas did you feel your opponent did better than you, beyond anything structural? What sort of connections did they have or plays that they were able to make outshone your own? What events did they handle better, and where do you think they managed a specific person or situation better than you?

Feel free to give each other as much credit and compliments as you want. This is supposed to be a bit of a more relaxed question that doesn’t require as much thought.

[Penelope Garcia]

To be quite honest, I'm not being as pandered as I want to be this FTC. In all seriousness, I want to ask Lucifer about mine and Judy's tribals. What did you stand to gain from those? You talk about the messages and feeling you got that I was coming up next in the boot order, but you didn't like it because you had me as leverage as an ally, so what did it take to convince you to actually vote me out? You seem a bit flip floppy about that reasoning so I'm a bit confused. Without challenge wins, were you in a safe and secure position without Judy and I was shields?


Poirot, I understood your reasoning during the game and understand it now, so I don't have a question for you for my tribal.

[Hercule Poirot]

Quick question to both of you— in what areas did you feel your opponent did better than you, beyond anything structural? What sort of connections did they have or plays that they were able to make outshone your own? What events did they handle better, and where do you think they managed a specific person or situation better than you?

Feel free to give each other as much credit and compliments as you want. This is supposed to be a bit of a more relaxed question that doesn’t require as much thought.

One round zat jumps out to me where M. Morningstar got 'is way over me was ze Mlle Hopps boot at 6.

In my 'ead, eet was close between Mlle Hopps and Mlle Garcia. I do agree with M. Morningstar and with Mlle Hopps 'erself zat Mlle Hopps was ze overall stronger challenge competitor, and 'er just beasting 'er way to ze end from 5 seemed more likely to me zan Mlle Garcia. I also was confident zat even if Mlle Garcia won ze IC at 5, I would 'ave survived. I think I could 'ave made ze boot M. Kennedy in zat situation rather zan myself, though eet definitely would 'ave been one of us.

For me, ze benefit of keeping Mlle Hopps was in ze 'orrible situation where she went on an Immunity run, I thought she was much more likely to take me to ze end with 'er zan Mlle Garcia. So if ze worst case scenario 'ad played out where Mlle Garcia 'ad won at 5 and won at 4 and won at 3, I doubt zat I would be sitting 'ere maintenant, whereas if Mlle Hopps did zat, zere ees at least a possibility zat I might be.

So in a way, I think voting out Mlle Hopps was ze option more optimiste, and voting out Mlle Garcia was ze option more pessimiste. Knowing zat Mlle Garcia lost ze following challenge, I absolutely made ze right call voting out Mlle Hopps when I did, especially since I think eet ees 'ighly possible she would 'ave won zat. Eet seems like something she would be good at. But at ze time, I wasn't sure if I should be planning for ze worst or 'oping for ze best.

In ze end, eet truly did not matter what I preferred though, because no one was online zat whole day right up until ze hour or so before deadline, and eet ees impossible to influence a vote when M. Kennedy decided what 'e was doing overnight while you were sleeping and no one else ees online to talk to. Initially, I extremely slightly preferred booting Mlle Garcia, just because in ze situation where eet was zat close I preferred ze more loyal option, but my preference was not strong enough to fight incredibly 'ard, especially when people weren't even online to convince.

With zat said, I don't know ze conversations zat 'appened between M. Morningstar and M. Kennedy zat round after I went to sleep or if zere were any, but if 'e played a role in convincing M. Kennedy to flip to voting out Mlle Hopps, zat probably ees a moment where 'e beat me to ze punch.

And getting back to what ees great about M. Morningstar's game, I actually think 'is game ees good and ees underrated. I think 'e was extremely self-aware at all times. 'E knew zat people were seeing 'im as an easy person to beat in ze end, and 'e was not just content to let zat play out, which I really respect. Zat ees a difficile spot to play from, where you feel like your path to ze end ees extremely clear and everyone wants to take you, but you don't beat any of zem, and I think zat 'e did ze best zat 'e could with eet. 'E also clearly 'ad strong relationships with M. Grouch, with Mlle Hopps, with Mlle Garcia, with M. Cohle. 'E did a lot right zis game, and I do think 'e doesn't get enough credit.