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Lucifer Morningstar / Re: FTC closing speech v2
« on: August 15, 2020, 01:43:16 pm »
I edited this post, please take note and use the edited version for my speech.
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Lucifer Morningstar / FTC closing speech v2
« on: August 15, 2020, 02:01:13 am »
Jurors,
When I first started playing this game 49 days ago- making it this far seemed unthinkable. I was simply excited to experience all the amazing challenges the mods had planned for us, meet wonderful new people and see just how far I could go in this game. Little did I know, I would make it all the way here. It was a tough fight- I met challenges every single step of the way. I was constantly losing valuable friends and wondering if the next tribal was the one that would finally end my journey- despite these struggles, I never gave up hope and continued the good fight. I could not be happier to have been able to make my case before you over the past few days- it was a blessing. To see all the hard work and time and emotion I poured into not only this game, but the many before it, pay off and get me to the end was a dream come true. It fulfilled a dream I've had since being voted out second many years ago when I first joined this site. Today, you have to make the all important decision of who wins this game. I would be blessed and honored if you would choose me- it would be my crowning achievement and mean so much to me.
This final tribal council presented you with a distinct choice between two very different players in myself and Hercule. We both got here from very different paths- when Hercule's name came up at the F11 vote, it was immediately shot down. He enjoyed safety almost the entire game. Mine was not. I received my first vote at the Strike Team tribal council and from then on my name was commonplace in the discussion of who to send home at every single early merge tribal council. I dealt with setbacks repeatedly as I lost multiple allies early on. Yet I persevered and made it here against the odds and the wishes of Hercule Poirot- who wanted a much different Final 3 and 2.
When you compare our games to determine who to vote for- you'll notice that they're drastically different. That's because the way we played, the way we viewed our relationships and the strategies we used were contrary to each other. Hercule's biggest accomplishments in this game were the "defining move of ze game" where he eliminated Grouch and the "crown jewel" of his game where he voted out Leon. Those are the key moves he's going to use to try to prove to you that he had more agency in this game than I did. The fact that he can claim those blindsides as part of his resume and I can't isn't an accident and it's intentional on my part. I didn't want to backstab people- when I voted each of you out I tried to do it amicably and I'm fairly sure each of you pretty much knew when I was voting for you.
It also reveals how differently me and Hercule see this game. He directly attributed the fact that he was able to emotionally manipulate Leon to the hours of work he had put into building that relationship prior to that TC and made his move at F4 by telling Leon he had no chance of winning without him. For Hercule- even the relationships he built in this game were a commodity he was willing to exploit. By repeatedly highlighting how "great" of a move he made and relishing in the details of how he got Leon eliminated, he is celebrating the emotional abuse he was able inflict on Leon. On one hand, he's spent this final tribal council touting these "great" moves and the backstabbing he was able to do and on the other- he's been apologizing to Leon and Grouch and the people he hurt saying he felt awful and to only remember the good moments with him. It's hypocritical and contradictory. A leopard never changes its spots and Hercule Poirot never stops the two-faced trickery. Like some of you have experienced, Hercule apologized to me after the Final 9 vote when he lied to me and said he felt terrible about it- but it didn't stop him from trying to deceive me just a few rounds later at Final 4. His words were empty to me like they probably are to many of you right now. Hercule's entire performance at this final tribal council has been contradictory- he's been telling you exactly what you want to hear with no regard for honesty or accuracy.
The fact that Hercule has highlighted those two moves as his biggest and best in this game is also an attempt to hide a rather lackluster performance on his part. Hercule successfully pulled off the "defining" move of eliminating Grouch and then what happened immediately after? Jake and Lennie- two people that he had promised to go deep into this game with went home. What good was a massive blindside to Hercule if the aftermath saw him lose two incredibly close allies? And why was he afraid of Grouch anyway? It was flashy- sure, but it didn't make any sense or accomplish anything for Hercule. The "crown jewel" in Leon's elimination resulted from similar circumstances. It was only necessary, because Hercule had worked himself into a very poor position- realistically he had little control over the votes from F8 on and had to play desperately. And even then- the outcome was not as beneficial as he would like you to believe. He ended up at an F3 with two players that were significantly better at challenges than him and the only reason he even made it to this final tribal council was because I wanted him here and won the challenge to make it happen. His two best moves in this game, while flashy, lacked any real and significant positives for him and came at the cost of his integrity. It sounds like his jewel might just be a worthless fake.
It's quite fitting that my biggest accomplishments in this game are drastically different than Poirot's and the way you view them is quite different. I survived the difficult early merge rounds by keeping my head low and dodging the vote. I managed to turn the tide against Hercule's SVU+Jake alliance when they had the majority at F8. I won immunity in the latter stages of the game when I needed it most. Some of the votes that had the biggest impact on getting me here aren't attributed solely to me and that's probably made many of you hesitant to vote for me- but personally, that's something good about the way I played. One of my strengths was the alliances I was able to build. I was able to work with a lot of amazing people and it was only through my relationships with Rust, Penelope and Judy that I was able to overcome that majority and make it here. I was able to build enough relationships to get to the end without trickery- simply relying on the bonds I'd made and my prowess at navigating the structural parts of this game. I didn't have to emotionally abuse someone to get here or blindside a friend-in fact, that option was never even on the table for me, because I had planned well enough in advance to position myself to make it here without that.
I've tried to be as upfront and honest with you as I can, because it's the least you deserve. I haven't felt a need to embellish my game because it's good enough as is. It wasn't perfect, but I played well. From the start of merge I knew that a lot had to go right for me to make it here. Like I do now, I realized then that the perception of me wasn't great. There were a lot of players that could have beat me on the journey here. I realized that and systematically made sure they went home one-by-one. I wasn't necessarily the one leading the charge most of the time, instead I was the little devil on everyone's shoulder making sure things went the way I wanted. For instance, while nobody was surprised when Judy and Penelope went home at F6 and F5 due to a consensus that had been reached beforehand- I was who easily benefited the most from it. They were two players I couldn't consistently beat in challenges and in a jury vote. Their eliminations were a crucial step in removing shields, so that Rust could go later and it set me up with a dream scenario of Hercule and Leon at the final four in a situation where I could easily win the challenges I needed to. It's not an accident I'm here. I was lurking in the shadows for the entire game, overcoming any unexpected obstacles in my path and slowly and steadily making sure I made it here in a situation where I could win.
-----
Pikachu,
It sounds like your vote is already decided and I wholeheartedly understand why- it was despicable. Nonetheless, you said communication was important this game and I think I demonstrated I could communicate well and more importantly- ethically. I did it in the time we were able to spend together in this game, with other players and at Final Tribal Council.
Scruff,
You seem to care about the game holistically. I think I've demonstrated that I handled all aspects of this game well. My social game was solid- I made the connections I needed to. I cultivated relationships and worked with many people to get deep into the game. My strategy was good- I knew where I stood in the game and made sure I established a trajectory that would get me deep into this game and put me into favorable positions where I was never out of it. My structural game was also good- I made the most of my opportunities on every tribe, I played around items and I won the challenges I needed to. Sure- there were a few mistakes, but I don't think you can point to any serious or major deficiencies on my part in any aspect of the game.
Grouch,
This game has taught me a lot. Even now, writing this speech and during the final tribal council I've been learning. I think the fact that I made it here was evidence of some of the improvements I was able to make. I've had a tendency to freak out when people suggest my name as a vote and I kind of did that right at first on the Strike Team a little bit, but as this game has progressed and my name came up a lot- I think I learned to handle it much better. My social game is far from perfect, but I think it has come a long way and this game has only given me the tools to further develop it. Seeing the way all of you approached this game has given me some ideas of my own. I think my jury management was better than it's been in the past. I know I could improve even more, but I do think I handled some situations much better. As a person, this game has meant so much. I've always struggled with negativity in my life- like I tend to be a very very negative person and it's not healthy for me. I came into this FTC expecting a lot of bitterness from you all and instead it's been so so positive. That has meant so much and I hope that perhaps I can recreate that and pass it on. It's inspirational. In particular, I think about the way Penelope handled being voted out with so much grace and the way Leon was an incredibly positive person basically no matter what was going on. That meant so much to me and genuinely touched me. This has been an experience I will never forget and one that will continually impact me.
Jake,
The fact that you tell me that alienating me was your biggest mistake already hints at how integral I was to this game. I realize I didn't make the big flashy moves you wanted to see, but at this tribal council- I don't think it matters. If I was sitting here against any of my allies then frankly, you wouldn't vote for me and I completely understand that and I realized that a long time ago. They had much more vocal and public roles in this game and I knew that if I wanted to win I couldn't sit here against any of them. While I loved all of them, that's why Grouch, Judy, Penelope and Rust ended up on the jury. I knew that if I wanted to win I had to face a member of the "other" alliance who was weaker- somebody that hadn't been a part of the same moves I had. I accomplished that- from F8 onward the trajectory of this game was one that uniquely benefited me as the threats to my game slowly went home one-by-one and now I'm here by virtue of that planning. The players I played "second fiddle" to aren't here and the votes they organized helped me and brought about their own demise. It's not a game of dominant control filled with big moves like you wanted, instead it's a more subtle one, but I think it's still a good one and one you should vote for.
Lennie,
Through answering your questions, I think I was able to explain that I had some control over this game, which is obviously important to you. If I had enough control to deserve a vote is ultimately up to you to decide, but I think I did. Furthermore, I think I justified your elimination. I realize you weren't as threatening as a lot of the people who went around that time, but it was still an important step for me getting here and I hope you can respect the fact that I tried to be honest with you about it. I did my best to treat every juror fairly and with dignity this game and I think I did that with you. I believe it is enough to earn your vote.
Judy,
You seem to really care about the votes. I think I explained how I was integral and important to a lot of the votes that happened and that I exhibited independence from you and Rust when I felt I needed to. My bonds with you two were two of my biggest assets this game, but there were multiple times where I went against those and tried to make the moves I felt were necessary without consulting you or Rust, because it was what I had to do. You particularly asked about the vote where you went home and I think I demonstrated clear agency there. When presented with the choice, Hercule repeatedly told me he wanted you to stay- so while he's tried to own that vote, it was one he was opposed to and one that I made happen. I know there's no hard feelings on your end, but I do feel bad about lying to you because it's something I tried to avoid this game. I think the control I demonstrated should be enough for your vote.
Penelope,
I think you experienced a little bit of my strategy through working together and I was able to paint a clear view of what I did during FTC. You also seemed to care about your vote- and I think I explained why it was necessary. All my allies were great and you had a special place in my heart throughout this game. But you were also all threats to me and I think I needed to take you out and I believe I did so in a fair way. Connecting with you was easily one of the best things I did this entire game. I felt like we had a lot of ups and downs early on and I recall considering you as a possible vote if we ever went to tribal council on the BAU, but I was really glad that never happened. Being able to work with you since the start of merge was crucial for my game and furthermore, it was an absolute joy. You were such a fun person to talk to and hang out with. Getting messages from you was always a treat and I loved working with you. I kept 'favorability rankings' in my confessional during this game and you easily made the biggest jump. Most of the people who started out at the bottom were quickly voted out of this game, but you were able to climb all the way to the top and I think that just shows how far our relationship came. I enjoyed spending time with you a lot- I hope you feel the same way and I hope that's enough to earn your vote.
Leon,
I'm sorry we weren't able to make it farther and I'm sorry the communication with you on my part wasn't perfect. I still think you should vote for me. I remember telling you that I thought you played really well and I genuinely meant that. You should be proud. Making it deep into this game is always a struggle. Especially for someone playing in their first game- I never came close to making it this far in my first game. So while our relationship was short lived, it still meant something to me and I hope it does for you. I admired how positive and nice of a person you were. I never exploited our relationship and the personal connection we made and furthermore, I hope you can take solace knowing that I never did that to anyone in this game. It was a line I would never cross and I certainly wouldn't brag about the details of it if I did. I hope that the relationship we genuinely built was enough to earn your vote. Hercule was never going to give him your jury vote if you didn't save him, so why give Hercule yours when he didn't save you?
Rust,
I think you also valued control over the game and I think I demonstrated that. I think you were also upset about the way our relationship ended and I take full responsibility for that. If it's worth anything, I promise I wasn't intentionally absent and I realize I could've managed my time better at the end. I don't think I was manipulated much at all this game and I hope you were able to see that firsthand. Just because I played in a subtle way from the shadows doesn't mean I was just doing everyone else's bidding. I hope through our relationship and this FTC you were able to see enough to believe that and vote for me. And if the light's winning- well my name does mean the "light-bringer"
-----
I think I've presented a game that wasn't just representative of me and my journey, but also representative of this game holistically. Hercule tried to paint a game of flawless game-play where he used every interaction to benefit himself, but I think you know and I've demonstrated that it was far from true. Instead it was a gilded presentation designed to hide the truth. I've been quite the opposite. I know the game I played wasn't perfect, but that's what makes it real. You all had your hiccups this game and so did I, even this game had its hiccups (*cough* challenge 11 *cough*). But despite that, the game I played was one of resilience and perseverance. Fighting against the odds and never giving up- just like the way all of you played. Without the struggles and challenges I faced, the triumph would be meaningless.
I poured countless hours into this game. It was a tumultuous journey of many emotional highs and lows. I am so appreciative for the chance to plead my case before all of you to win this game. I've cried when I've been voted out of these games before and I'd probably cry if I finally won one, it would mean the world to me. Getting to spend the last seven weeks with all of you is an experience I will never forget. It's been a really fun ride and I couldn't be more blessed to have been apart of this game. While far from perfect, I played well and more importantly- I strived to treat every single one of you with dignity and respect. I hope you feel the same way and feel that my performance is worthy of your vote.
-Lucifer Morningstar
When I first started playing this game 49 days ago- making it this far seemed unthinkable. I was simply excited to experience all the amazing challenges the mods had planned for us, meet wonderful new people and see just how far I could go in this game. Little did I know, I would make it all the way here. It was a tough fight- I met challenges every single step of the way. I was constantly losing valuable friends and wondering if the next tribal was the one that would finally end my journey- despite these struggles, I never gave up hope and continued the good fight. I could not be happier to have been able to make my case before you over the past few days- it was a blessing. To see all the hard work and time and emotion I poured into not only this game, but the many before it, pay off and get me to the end was a dream come true. It fulfilled a dream I've had since being voted out second many years ago when I first joined this site. Today, you have to make the all important decision of who wins this game. I would be blessed and honored if you would choose me- it would be my crowning achievement and mean so much to me.
This final tribal council presented you with a distinct choice between two very different players in myself and Hercule. We both got here from very different paths- when Hercule's name came up at the F11 vote, it was immediately shot down. He enjoyed safety almost the entire game. Mine was not. I received my first vote at the Strike Team tribal council and from then on my name was commonplace in the discussion of who to send home at every single early merge tribal council. I dealt with setbacks repeatedly as I lost multiple allies early on. Yet I persevered and made it here against the odds and the wishes of Hercule Poirot- who wanted a much different Final 3 and 2.
When you compare our games to determine who to vote for- you'll notice that they're drastically different. That's because the way we played, the way we viewed our relationships and the strategies we used were contrary to each other. Hercule's biggest accomplishments in this game were the "defining move of ze game" where he eliminated Grouch and the "crown jewel" of his game where he voted out Leon. Those are the key moves he's going to use to try to prove to you that he had more agency in this game than I did. The fact that he can claim those blindsides as part of his resume and I can't isn't an accident and it's intentional on my part. I didn't want to backstab people- when I voted each of you out I tried to do it amicably and I'm fairly sure each of you pretty much knew when I was voting for you.
It also reveals how differently me and Hercule see this game. He directly attributed the fact that he was able to emotionally manipulate Leon to the hours of work he had put into building that relationship prior to that TC and made his move at F4 by telling Leon he had no chance of winning without him. For Hercule- even the relationships he built in this game were a commodity he was willing to exploit. By repeatedly highlighting how "great" of a move he made and relishing in the details of how he got Leon eliminated, he is celebrating the emotional abuse he was able inflict on Leon. On one hand, he's spent this final tribal council touting these "great" moves and the backstabbing he was able to do and on the other- he's been apologizing to Leon and Grouch and the people he hurt saying he felt awful and to only remember the good moments with him. It's hypocritical and contradictory. A leopard never changes its spots and Hercule Poirot never stops the two-faced trickery. Like some of you have experienced, Hercule apologized to me after the Final 9 vote when he lied to me and said he felt terrible about it- but it didn't stop him from trying to deceive me just a few rounds later at Final 4. His words were empty to me like they probably are to many of you right now. Hercule's entire performance at this final tribal council has been contradictory- he's been telling you exactly what you want to hear with no regard for honesty or accuracy.
The fact that Hercule has highlighted those two moves as his biggest and best in this game is also an attempt to hide a rather lackluster performance on his part. Hercule successfully pulled off the "defining" move of eliminating Grouch and then what happened immediately after? Jake and Lennie- two people that he had promised to go deep into this game with went home. What good was a massive blindside to Hercule if the aftermath saw him lose two incredibly close allies? And why was he afraid of Grouch anyway? It was flashy- sure, but it didn't make any sense or accomplish anything for Hercule. The "crown jewel" in Leon's elimination resulted from similar circumstances. It was only necessary, because Hercule had worked himself into a very poor position- realistically he had little control over the votes from F8 on and had to play desperately. And even then- the outcome was not as beneficial as he would like you to believe. He ended up at an F3 with two players that were significantly better at challenges than him and the only reason he even made it to this final tribal council was because I wanted him here and won the challenge to make it happen. His two best moves in this game, while flashy, lacked any real and significant positives for him and came at the cost of his integrity. It sounds like his jewel might just be a worthless fake.
It's quite fitting that my biggest accomplishments in this game are drastically different than Poirot's and the way you view them is quite different. I survived the difficult early merge rounds by keeping my head low and dodging the vote. I managed to turn the tide against Hercule's SVU+Jake alliance when they had the majority at F8. I won immunity in the latter stages of the game when I needed it most. Some of the votes that had the biggest impact on getting me here aren't attributed solely to me and that's probably made many of you hesitant to vote for me- but personally, that's something good about the way I played. One of my strengths was the alliances I was able to build. I was able to work with a lot of amazing people and it was only through my relationships with Rust, Penelope and Judy that I was able to overcome that majority and make it here. I was able to build enough relationships to get to the end without trickery- simply relying on the bonds I'd made and my prowess at navigating the structural parts of this game. I didn't have to emotionally abuse someone to get here or blindside a friend-in fact, that option was never even on the table for me, because I had planned well enough in advance to position myself to make it here without that.
I've tried to be as upfront and honest with you as I can, because it's the least you deserve. I haven't felt a need to embellish my game because it's good enough as is. It wasn't perfect, but I played well. From the start of merge I knew that a lot had to go right for me to make it here. Like I do now, I realized then that the perception of me wasn't great. There were a lot of players that could have beat me on the journey here. I realized that and systematically made sure they went home one-by-one. I wasn't necessarily the one leading the charge most of the time, instead I was the little devil on everyone's shoulder making sure things went the way I wanted. For instance, while nobody was surprised when Judy and Penelope went home at F6 and F5 due to a consensus that had been reached beforehand- I was who easily benefited the most from it. They were two players I couldn't consistently beat in challenges and in a jury vote. Their eliminations were a crucial step in removing shields, so that Rust could go later and it set me up with a dream scenario of Hercule and Leon at the final four in a situation where I could easily win the challenges I needed to. It's not an accident I'm here. I was lurking in the shadows for the entire game, overcoming any unexpected obstacles in my path and slowly and steadily making sure I made it here in a situation where I could win.
-----
Pikachu,
It sounds like your vote is already decided and I wholeheartedly understand why- it was despicable. Nonetheless, you said communication was important this game and I think I demonstrated I could communicate well and more importantly- ethically. I did it in the time we were able to spend together in this game, with other players and at Final Tribal Council.
Scruff,
You seem to care about the game holistically. I think I've demonstrated that I handled all aspects of this game well. My social game was solid- I made the connections I needed to. I cultivated relationships and worked with many people to get deep into the game. My strategy was good- I knew where I stood in the game and made sure I established a trajectory that would get me deep into this game and put me into favorable positions where I was never out of it. My structural game was also good- I made the most of my opportunities on every tribe, I played around items and I won the challenges I needed to. Sure- there were a few mistakes, but I don't think you can point to any serious or major deficiencies on my part in any aspect of the game.
Grouch,
This game has taught me a lot. Even now, writing this speech and during the final tribal council I've been learning. I think the fact that I made it here was evidence of some of the improvements I was able to make. I've had a tendency to freak out when people suggest my name as a vote and I kind of did that right at first on the Strike Team a little bit, but as this game has progressed and my name came up a lot- I think I learned to handle it much better. My social game is far from perfect, but I think it has come a long way and this game has only given me the tools to further develop it. Seeing the way all of you approached this game has given me some ideas of my own. I think my jury management was better than it's been in the past. I know I could improve even more, but I do think I handled some situations much better. As a person, this game has meant so much. I've always struggled with negativity in my life- like I tend to be a very very negative person and it's not healthy for me. I came into this FTC expecting a lot of bitterness from you all and instead it's been so so positive. That has meant so much and I hope that perhaps I can recreate that and pass it on. It's inspirational. In particular, I think about the way Penelope handled being voted out with so much grace and the way Leon was an incredibly positive person basically no matter what was going on. That meant so much to me and genuinely touched me. This has been an experience I will never forget and one that will continually impact me.
Jake,
The fact that you tell me that alienating me was your biggest mistake already hints at how integral I was to this game. I realize I didn't make the big flashy moves you wanted to see, but at this tribal council- I don't think it matters. If I was sitting here against any of my allies then frankly, you wouldn't vote for me and I completely understand that and I realized that a long time ago. They had much more vocal and public roles in this game and I knew that if I wanted to win I couldn't sit here against any of them. While I loved all of them, that's why Grouch, Judy, Penelope and Rust ended up on the jury. I knew that if I wanted to win I had to face a member of the "other" alliance who was weaker- somebody that hadn't been a part of the same moves I had. I accomplished that- from F8 onward the trajectory of this game was one that uniquely benefited me as the threats to my game slowly went home one-by-one and now I'm here by virtue of that planning. The players I played "second fiddle" to aren't here and the votes they organized helped me and brought about their own demise. It's not a game of dominant control filled with big moves like you wanted, instead it's a more subtle one, but I think it's still a good one and one you should vote for.
Lennie,
Through answering your questions, I think I was able to explain that I had some control over this game, which is obviously important to you. If I had enough control to deserve a vote is ultimately up to you to decide, but I think I did. Furthermore, I think I justified your elimination. I realize you weren't as threatening as a lot of the people who went around that time, but it was still an important step for me getting here and I hope you can respect the fact that I tried to be honest with you about it. I did my best to treat every juror fairly and with dignity this game and I think I did that with you. I believe it is enough to earn your vote.
Judy,
You seem to really care about the votes. I think I explained how I was integral and important to a lot of the votes that happened and that I exhibited independence from you and Rust when I felt I needed to. My bonds with you two were two of my biggest assets this game, but there were multiple times where I went against those and tried to make the moves I felt were necessary without consulting you or Rust, because it was what I had to do. You particularly asked about the vote where you went home and I think I demonstrated clear agency there. When presented with the choice, Hercule repeatedly told me he wanted you to stay- so while he's tried to own that vote, it was one he was opposed to and one that I made happen. I know there's no hard feelings on your end, but I do feel bad about lying to you because it's something I tried to avoid this game. I think the control I demonstrated should be enough for your vote.
Penelope,
I think you experienced a little bit of my strategy through working together and I was able to paint a clear view of what I did during FTC. You also seemed to care about your vote- and I think I explained why it was necessary. All my allies were great and you had a special place in my heart throughout this game. But you were also all threats to me and I think I needed to take you out and I believe I did so in a fair way. Connecting with you was easily one of the best things I did this entire game. I felt like we had a lot of ups and downs early on and I recall considering you as a possible vote if we ever went to tribal council on the BAU, but I was really glad that never happened. Being able to work with you since the start of merge was crucial for my game and furthermore, it was an absolute joy. You were such a fun person to talk to and hang out with. Getting messages from you was always a treat and I loved working with you. I kept 'favorability rankings' in my confessional during this game and you easily made the biggest jump. Most of the people who started out at the bottom were quickly voted out of this game, but you were able to climb all the way to the top and I think that just shows how far our relationship came. I enjoyed spending time with you a lot- I hope you feel the same way and I hope that's enough to earn your vote.
Leon,
I'm sorry we weren't able to make it farther and I'm sorry the communication with you on my part wasn't perfect. I still think you should vote for me. I remember telling you that I thought you played really well and I genuinely meant that. You should be proud. Making it deep into this game is always a struggle. Especially for someone playing in their first game- I never came close to making it this far in my first game. So while our relationship was short lived, it still meant something to me and I hope it does for you. I admired how positive and nice of a person you were. I never exploited our relationship and the personal connection we made and furthermore, I hope you can take solace knowing that I never did that to anyone in this game. It was a line I would never cross and I certainly wouldn't brag about the details of it if I did. I hope that the relationship we genuinely built was enough to earn your vote. Hercule was never going to give him your jury vote if you didn't save him, so why give Hercule yours when he didn't save you?
Rust,
I think you also valued control over the game and I think I demonstrated that. I think you were also upset about the way our relationship ended and I take full responsibility for that. If it's worth anything, I promise I wasn't intentionally absent and I realize I could've managed my time better at the end. I don't think I was manipulated much at all this game and I hope you were able to see that firsthand. Just because I played in a subtle way from the shadows doesn't mean I was just doing everyone else's bidding. I hope through our relationship and this FTC you were able to see enough to believe that and vote for me. And if the light's winning- well my name does mean the "light-bringer"
-----
I think I've presented a game that wasn't just representative of me and my journey, but also representative of this game holistically. Hercule tried to paint a game of flawless game-play where he used every interaction to benefit himself, but I think you know and I've demonstrated that it was far from true. Instead it was a gilded presentation designed to hide the truth. I've been quite the opposite. I know the game I played wasn't perfect, but that's what makes it real. You all had your hiccups this game and so did I, even this game had its hiccups (*cough* challenge 11 *cough*). But despite that, the game I played was one of resilience and perseverance. Fighting against the odds and never giving up- just like the way all of you played. Without the struggles and challenges I faced, the triumph would be meaningless.
I poured countless hours into this game. It was a tumultuous journey of many emotional highs and lows. I am so appreciative for the chance to plead my case before all of you to win this game. I've cried when I've been voted out of these games before and I'd probably cry if I finally won one, it would mean the world to me. Getting to spend the last seven weeks with all of you is an experience I will never forget. It's been a really fun ride and I couldn't be more blessed to have been apart of this game. While far from perfect, I played well and more importantly- I strived to treat every single one of you with dignity and respect. I hope you feel the same way and feel that my performance is worthy of your vote.
-Lucifer Morningstar
4
Lucifer Morningstar / Re: Audio Confessionals
« on: August 14, 2020, 03:18:18 am »My last audio confessional...
25 minutes of rambling where I look back on this game and talk about FTC a little bithttps://voca.ro/cyiZ7ulaaC3
5
Lucifer Morningstar / Closing Speech???
« on: August 14, 2020, 01:30:59 am »this is tentative and will change
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Jurors,
When I first started playing this game 49 days ago- making it this far seemed unthinkable. I was simply excited to experience all the amazing challenges the mods had planned for us, meet wonderful new people and see just how far I could go in this game. Little did I know, I would make it all the way here. It was a tough fight- I met challenges every single step of the way. I was constantly losing valuable friends and wondering if the next tribal was the one that would finally end my journey- despite these struggles, I never gave up hope and continued the good fight. I could not be happier to have been able to make my case before you over the past few days- it was a blessing. To see all the hard work and time and emotion I poured into not only this game, but the many before it, pay off and get me to the end was a dream come true. It fulfilled a dream I've had since being voted out second many years ago when I first joined this site. Today, you have to make the all important decision of who wins this game. I would be blessed and honored if you would choose me- it would be my crowning achievement and mean so much to me.
This final tribal council presented you with a distinct choice between two very different players in myself and Hercule. We both got here from very different paths- when Hercule's name came up at the F11 vote, it was immediately shot down. He enjoyed safety almost the entire game. Mine was not. I received my first vote at the Strike Team tribal council and from then on my name was commonplace in the discussion of who to send home at every single early merge tribal council. I dealt with setbacks repeatedly as I lost multiple allies early on. Yet I persevered and made it here against the odds and the wishes of Hercule Poirot- who wanted a much different Final 3 and 2.
When you compare our games to determine who to vote for- you'll notice that they're drastically different. That's because the way we played, the way we viewed our relationships and the strategies we used were contrary to each other. Hercule's biggest accomplishments in this game were the "defining move of ze game" where he eliminated Grouch and the "crown jewel" of his game where he voted out Leon. Those are the moves he's going to use to try to prove to you that he had more agency in this game than I did. The fact that he can claim those blindsides as part of his resume and I can't isn't an accident and it's intentional on my part. I didn't want to backstab people- when I voted each of you out I tried to do it amicably and I'm fairly sure each of you pretty much knew when I was voting for you.
It also reveals how differently me and Hercule see this game. He directly attributed the fact that he was able to emotionally manipulate Leon to the hours of work he had put into building that relationship prior to that TC and made his move at F4 by telling Leon he had no chance of winning without him. For Hercule- even the relationships he built in this game were a commodity he was willing to exploit. By repeatedly highlighting how "great" of a move he made and relishing in the details of how he got Leon eliminated, he is celebrating the emotional abuse he was able inflict on people. On one hand, he's spent this final tribal council touting these "great" moves and the backstabbing he was able to do and on the other- he's been apologizing to Leon and Grouch and the people he hurt saying he felt awful and to only remember the good moments with him. It's hypocritical and contradictory. A leopard never changes its spots and Hercule Poirot never stops the two-faced trickery. Like some of you have experienced, Hercule apologized to me after the Final 9 vote when he lied to me and said he felt terrible about it- but it didn't stop him from trying to deceive me just a few rounds later at Final 4. His words were empty to me like they probably are to many of you right now.
It's quite fitting that my biggest accomplishments in this game are drastically different than Poirot's and the way you view them is quite different. I survived the difficult early merge rounds by keeping my head low and dodging the vote. I managed to turn the tide against Hercule's SVU+Jake alliance when they had the majority at F8. I won immunity in the latter stages of the game when I needed it most. Some of the votes that had the biggest impact on getting me here aren't attributed solely to me and that's probably made many of you hesitant to vote for me- but personally, that's something good about the way I played. One of my strengths was the alliances I was able to build. I was able to work with a lot of amazing people and it was only through my relationships with Rust, Penelope and Judy that I was able to overcome that majority and make it here. I was able to build enough relationships to get to the end without trickery- simply relying on the bonds I'd made and my prowess at navigating the structural parts of this game. I didn't have to emotionally abuse someone to get here-in fact, that option was never even on the table for me, because I had planned well enough in advance to position myself to make it here without that.
Pikachu, Grouch and Leon-
I had your back until the moment you were voted out. I tried to my best to be a good ally and more importantly a good friend to you. I was really glad to get to know each of you this game and enjoy the time we spent together. Pikachu- you showed me grace when I took out someone close to you and worked with me in spite of that and it meant a lot. In the short time together we had during the merge I did my best to repay it. Grouch- You were an amazing friend and I truly loved every message we shared together. I wanted to go far in this game with you and I was so sad to see you voted out there. Leon- I'm sorry I couldn't do more. I tried my best to be honest and have your back there and I truly wish it could've worked out differently. I remember I told you that I thought you played great and I genuinely meant that. To make it to the final 4 is no small feat, especially in your first game.
Scruff-
I'm sorry that things ended on such a sour note between us after that F10 tribal council. I realize I didn't handle that the best- as someone who has been in a somewhat similar situation to where you were at- I thought I could help by reaching out to you and I feel bad that it didn't work out. I enjoyed the time we spent together and wish it could've ended slightly better.
Jake and Judy-
I'm genuinely sorry- you were the two people in this game that I blatantly lied to at a tribal council and promised something I had no intentions of delivering on. I feel like it literally ruined our relationship Jake, you reached out to make amends and I appreciated that, but it didn't really work out. While I can hardly blame you for it, I feel bad we couldn't ever make it past that. I lied to you too, Judy. You had my back at a critical point of the game and I didn't return the favor and instead took advantage of it. That haunts me. While I'd be forever grateful, I know it's probably hard to vote for me here and I understand that.
Lennie-
I know we never connected that well and I feel bad about that. I do hope you know that I had a lot of respect for the way you played even if we were on opposite sides basically the whole merge. I still did my best to be honest with you and communicate with you despite our differences and I hope you can respect that.
Penelope and Rust-
I loved you both a lot. You were there for me the long haul and I tried to be there for you too. A part of me is still really sad one of you wasn't able to argue your case at this FTC because you both played really well and deserved that opportunity. I know things ended with my betrayal- I know it wasn't perfect, but I did my best to handle that by trying to be transparent with you. I really value the time we were able to spend together, the moves we were able to make and the resilience we all displayed to make it deep into this game. You are amazing.
I poured countless hours into this game. It was a tumultuous journey of many emotional highs and lows. I am so appreciative for the chance to plead my case before all of you to win this game. I've cried when I've been voted out of these games before and I'd probably cry if I finally won one, it would mean the world to me. Getting to spend the last seven weeks with all of you is an experience I will never forget. It's been a really fun ride and I couldn't be more blessed to have been apart of this game. While far from perfect, I played well and more importantly- I strived to treat every single one of you with dignity and respect. I hope you feel the same way and feel that my performance is worthy of your vote.
-Lucifer Morningstar
6
Final Tribal Council / Re: Structural
« on: August 13, 2020, 08:15:07 pm »
Thanks for the clarification, Leon. I know it's hard to know in the moment and it's all hindsight now- but I did want to go to the F2 with you and I should've clarified that earlier. I don't know how accurate this is, but at the time I thought the two of us against each other would be the fairest scenario for us. I also hoped that my willingness to vote Rust at F4 would show you that I was serious about us going to F2 and that I was not attached to going with Rust like you had seemed worried about.
7
Final Tribal Council / Re: Structural
« on: August 13, 2020, 07:36:21 pm »I'm not sure where else to put this question, so it can go here. For both of you, what do you think each juror is looking for from you in order to give you their vote? Do you think you've done enough to show that for each person? If you were on the jury, what criteria would you be using to vote and in what ways does the game you played fit that?I value everyone's opinion and don't want to discount any jurors, but truth be told I think it's probably an unrealistic goal for me to win every juror's vote here and I think there's a decent chance it's impossible to do that without contradicting myself and making a mess of the game I played. I'm trying to highlight my game and what I think it represents and do so in a way that hopefully makes the jurors that appreciate the way I played inclined to vote for me. For other jurors who prefer something else, I'm trying to highlight the ways I played that might fit still their criterion and also show them that perhaps they should evaluate the game a little bit differently. Like if you're the type of juror who loves blindsides for instance and thinks they're fun to watch and the best part of Survivor, then I think it's highly improbable that you'd vote for me over Hercule because I never really pulled off a blindside and he did. But I do think that if you value challenge prowess especially in clutch situations and the resilient gameplay of someone who was on the bottom at times and lost some allies and struggled a little bit, but still ultimately persevered and never gave up hope and fought hard to get here- then I think I can make a compelling case that you should vote for me.
It's been a long time since I was on a jury and it changes depending on the individual circumstances. Unless I feel personally wronged by a finalist, I think I'm often willing to go into TC very open-minded and listen to the different arguments and side with who made the better case.
8
Final Tribal Council / Re: Strategic
« on: August 13, 2020, 07:16:54 pm »Alright, I think I’ll give one final question before I let other jurors do their thing (unless I come up with anything else).I think I missed this earlier. Assuming 5 is roughly average-
Lucifer and Poirot. Social, Strategic, Structural. Rate yourself in each of these categories on the much more sensible scale of 1-10.
I'd give myself a 6.5 in Social, a 7.5 in Strategy and a 9 in Structural.
I know my social game wasn't perfect, but I think it was solid and I made the connections I needed to in order to make it deep into this game and do well. I think I handled strategy pretty well too- I certainly wasn't the dominant person running the game and handling all the ins and outs marvelously most of the time, but I still positioned myself really well and knew where I stood and what I needed to do to survive some turbulent times. I think I could always improve on structural gameplay too- I could always have won more challenges and found an idol or something, so I'm not giving myself a ten, but I do think I handled it really well. I navigated the swaps pretty well, dodged a couple of dangerous items that were held by others and won big challenges when I needed to most.
9
Final Tribal Council / Re: Structural
« on: August 13, 2020, 07:05:35 pm »I applaud you for making a big move, Hercule- but there's a few things I want to clarify here.So going into F4 I knew I wanted to target Rust or Hercule. Early on, I actually considered giving Leon my immunity necklace since I thought I had much better odds winning a tiebreaker challenge in the event it was necessary (I wasn't sure it was at that point) and wanted to keep him safe, but after some of the stuff I heard I decided I was firmly against that, because I wasn't that convinced he'd vote with me if I was vulnerable- I felt like having leverage in that situation was important for me. Personally, I was leaning towards Rust, but I knew Leon really preferred getting Hercule out and I was prepared to go with that if I needed to.
So at the start of the TC, we kind of agreed to vote Hercule- but then a few hours after it started- Leon decided to pitch the idea of tying the vote between Hercule and Rust and forcing the two of them to do a firemaking challenge. I was strongly opposed to this, I wasn't certain they were voting Leon at that point, but I was suspicious about it and even if it was possible from a strategic perspective it didn't make a lot of sense to me. I felt like we needed to try to take out the bigger threat and forcing a firemaking challenge seemed like a no decision and I thought that was a pretty bad idea, so I told him I really didn't want to do that. Then early the next morning he sent me a message about still wanting to vote Hercule, but a couple hours later- before I could respond, sent me a message that he'd changed his mind and was OK with Rust. So we agreed to vote there and I thought things were set. I did get a message from Rust saying that the jury was 'a lot more pro-Leon than I realized' or something along those lines about 20 minutes before TC ended, which I took to mean Hercule and Rust were voting Leon, but I felt OK about it since there should've at least been a firemaking challenge. Obviously, it didn't work out and I'm still not exactly sure what happened since I haven't heard from Leon since- I don't know if he was trying to force a 2-2 tie and didn't realize they were voting for him or hoping for a 2-1-1 vote where Hercule went. It didn't make a lot of sense to me.
I know zis wasn't a question for me, but I just want to clarify. Zis was my most impressive round of ze game and zis post tells me zat M. Morningstar at least still does not understand what I was did. I 'ave to assume zat some Jurors who weren't even zere might not understand either.
First of all, I will say zat M. Morningstar giving up 'is Immunity necklace to M. Kennedy would 'ave been an incredibly impressive move, even if eet might 'ave led to 'im going 'ome. I think zat was ze winning move for 'im zis round.
So M. Kennedy was telling me prior to ze vote zat 'e wanted M. Morningstar out. I still don't know if 'e truly wanted me or M. Morningstar gone 'ere if 'e 'ad ze choice. I was clearly ze superior move, so if M. Kennedy was planning on booting M. Morningstar at 4, zat ees a 'uge failing on M. Morningstar's part where even though eet was in both of zeir interests to work together, M. Kennedy still wanted to take 'im out. I 'ope zat M. Kennedy can come to FTC and give us some clarity on zis.
At ze beginning of ze round, 'e ees right zat M. Morningstar and M. Kennedy were both voting for me. Ze moment I saw zat M. Morningstar 'ad Immunity, I knew zat zey probably would, and I pressured both of zem into confessing eet to me.
When M. Kennedy sent you zat first message suggesting a firemaking challenge, zat was as a result of hours of work on my part convincing 'im zat sending me to a firemaking challenge was better for 'is game. 'E was not going to outright vote to keep me because 'e thought eet would ruin 'is relationship with M. Cohle, but I did convince 'im to send eet to a firemaking challenge, which of course I knew would send 'im 'ome, but 'e didn't know zat.
But M. Morningstar smartly would not do zat, so I 'ad to change tact. With zose double messages zat you received ze next morning from M. Kennedy, M. Morningstar, did you not wonder why M. Kennedy 'ad changed 'is mind? Zat was ze point where 'e started lying to you, and 'e started doing zat because I convinced 'im to. 'E was unwilling to vote for M. Cohle, but 'e was willing to lie to you to get you to vote for M. Cohle, because I told 'im zat unless I got a chance to make fire, 'e was never going to get my Jury vote, and I explained to 'im zat without my Jury vote, 'e 'ad truly no 'ope of winning. Lying to you was from 'is POV ze only way to force a tie without voting for M. Cohle, so zat was what 'e chose to do, and 'e told me zat 'e was going to do eet. 'E trusted me so much, even while 'e was telling me zat 'e was voting me out.
Eet seems to me like M. Morningstar 'ad all of ze tools at 'is disposal to prevent zis vote. 'E 'ad a suspicious message from M. Cohle. Why did M. Kennedy not know about zat suspicious message? You absolutely could 'ave made 'im realize what a mistake 'e could be making. 'E 'ad M. Kennedy changing 'is mind seemingly without being convinced to by someone else. When 'as M. Kennedy done zat ze whole game? 'E would change 'is mind, but usually only after 'e 'ad a conversation zat prompted 'im to. I knew from ze beginning zat M. Kennedy was probably voting for me once M. Morningstar won without 'aving to be told. M. Morningstar's reads zis round were bad, and what good reads 'e did 'ave, 'e did nothing about. If 'e suspected zat M. Kennedy might be getting votes, zen why didn't M. Kennedy?
Zis round was not M. Kennedy just doing things without any reason. 'E did 'ave a reason. Zat reason was me. Zat reason was ze hours of work I 'ad put in all game building up our relationship, and ze hours of work zat I put in during zis round to make sure zat 'e did what I needed 'im to do to keep myself safe.
I was ze only one zat round with all of ze information. I knew exactly what was 'appening every step of ze way. I engineered zat vote, and in my opinion eet ees one of ze most impressive things I 'ave seen in a game in a long time. If you 'ave any specific questions about what I did or 'ow I did eet, I would welcome zem, but you should not accept zat zis was just M. Kennedy doing random things in a way zat none of us could 'ave predicted when one of us consciously set zose things up.
First off you claimed that you had to pressure me into telling you I was voting you at first there- that's false. You may have had to pressure Leon, but to say you had to pressure me is a fundamental misunderstanding about how I was trying to play those final few rounds. I considered everyone in that situation to be my friend and an ally at least at some point during this game and with no idols in play, I was being honest. I delayed telling Rust in particular that I was voting him until late in TC, because it was a fluid situation and even when I told him I wasn't certain he was going home- but I had no qualms about telling you, Penelope or Rust what was happening and being transparent. I simply wanted to make sure that's what I was doing before I revealed it.
You also talk about how I could've easily prevented this and I want to respond to this as well. First off, Rust sent me that message with minutes left in TC and by the time I saw it there was even less time left. If I recall things right, I don't remember Leon being online during that period until after results occurred either. What I presented Leon with during that tribal council and what I told him throughout was completely honest on my part, I told things how I saw it and never deliberately withheld information from him at that F4. You may have lied to him numerous times at that tribal council, but please don't paint me as a liar too. I valued my relationship with Leon and was honest with him.
About Leon changing his mind- That situation was unique. I don't recall another situation where Leon was in a position like he was there. He was an important swing vote. The fact that the decision there required him to think through things more thoroughly than past decisions made perfect sense to me and I think you're underscoring the fact that we had discussed the pros and cons of this vote the night before and he gave me a disclaimer that he was half-asleep and wanted to rethink things later. It didn't seem far fetched to me that he had genuinely changed his mind. Furthermore, if the mistake I made in that situation was trusting Leon, then I'm OK with that. My path to get here was built on trusting my allies and I was happy to do that time and time again. Leon had been honest with me and given me no serious reason to doubt him, so I wasn't going to. Trust was and is important to me and I tried to keep and maintain it whenever it was possible.
Congratulations on making the move you felt you needed to in that scenario and thank you for providing more insight into what happened, but your assumptions about my behavior were fundamentally wrong and presented from an egocentric point of view and that needed to be cleared up.
10
Final Tribal Council / Re: Structural
« on: August 13, 2020, 01:43:00 pm »To Lucifer:So at F6 the vote was between Judy and Penelope and I was able to get Judy eliminated when Hercule/Leon seemed to want to vote Penelope. And the F3 vote is obvious enough- I took Rust out. I think winning so many challenges also indirectly boosted my game early on- I think it helped that I had connections with a lot of players on the Strike Team and coming into merge I had met everyone except Leon so far and so I think that gave me a slight advantage over other players who hadn't met as many people.
How exactly did you leverage challenge wins to get what you wanted? I know you said that you did— but I haven’t really seen any specific examples of how you used immunity to your advantage beyond not being a target. In what vote(s) did you use being immune to your biggest advantage? Also, despite having the ability to force fire with pretty much anyone you wanted, how did you lose the person you wanted to go to the end with to a direct vote in the final four? How did that play out from your perspective?
So going into F4 I knew I wanted to target Rust or Hercule. Early on, I actually considered giving Leon my immunity necklace since I thought I had much better odds winning a tiebreaker challenge in the event it was necessary (I wasn't sure it was at that point) and wanted to keep him safe, but after some of the stuff I heard I decided I was firmly against that, because I wasn't that convinced he'd vote with me if I was vulnerable- I felt like having leverage in that situation was important for me. Personally, I was leaning towards Rust, but I knew Leon really preferred getting Hercule out and I was prepared to go with that if I needed to.
So at the start of the TC, we kind of agreed to vote Hercule- but then a few hours after it started- Leon decided to pitch the idea of tying the vote between Hercule and Rust and forcing the two of them to do a firemaking challenge. I was strongly opposed to this, I wasn't certain they were voting Leon at that point, but I was suspicious about it and even if it was possible from a strategic perspective it didn't make a lot of sense to me. I felt like we needed to try to take out the bigger threat and forcing a firemaking challenge seemed like a no decision and I thought that was a pretty bad idea, so I told him I really didn't want to do that. Then early the next morning he sent me a message about still wanting to vote Hercule, but a couple hours later- before I could respond, sent me a message that he'd changed his mind and was OK with Rust. So we agreed to vote there and I thought things were set. I did get a message from Rust saying that the jury was 'a lot more pro-Leon than I realized' or something along those lines about 20 minutes before TC ended, which I took to mean Hercule and Rust were voting Leon, but I felt OK about it since there should've at least been a firemaking challenge. Obviously, it didn't work out and I'm still not exactly sure what happened since I haven't heard from Leon since- I don't know if he was trying to force a 2-2 tie and didn't realize they were voting for him or hoping for a 2-1-1 vote where Hercule went. It didn't make a lot of sense to me.
11
Final Tribal Council / Re: Structural
« on: August 13, 2020, 01:20:25 pm »A question for both finalists.I never used the statistics to independently justify a decision, but I do think it indirectly played a role a little bit. Like the fact Penelope was the top poster had a strong correlation to the fact that she was a challenge threat and very active in challenges in my opinion. I would also check when people were last online/how often they were online, especially in the early game. Like at a tribe swap it was helpful to see how much someone had been online and their post count, because I think there was a decent correlation between online time and how strong and social of a player they were likely to be.
Did you take the board statistics and individual player profile statistics into account in making game decisions? If so, how?
12
Final Tribal Council / Re: Strategic
« on: August 12, 2020, 10:33:45 pm »A question for both finalists.I'd say I was manipulated by Leon at F4. I thought I had more leverage in that situation and could've gotten him to vote with me and instead he flipped.
The ability to manipulate other players is crucial, as alluded to in many answers thus far. Can you identify any moments in the game where you were the manipulated party?
A statement for Hercule Poirot.
A magnificently eloquent speech, as expected. I must correct one assertion. If I won final immunity I would have voted you out with no hesitation.
I also think I was manipulated by Judy at F9. I was pretty hopeful I could count on her to vote Jake out in that situation and instead Grouch went.
13
Final Tribal Council / Re: Social
« on: August 12, 2020, 10:29:30 pm »My question is for Lucifer Morningstar.Sorry, that's my mistake.
For my last 72 hours in the game you didn't PM me. What the hell, man?
Like I really don't want to go into too much detail- but I was dealing with a lot of drama irl and wasn't able to put as much time into the game as I wanted last weekend.
14
Final Tribal Council / Re: Social
« on: August 12, 2020, 06:24:57 pm »Hello to the both of you, I am determining my vote on a couple of things, mainly at how well you both handle this FTC, and I want you both to know I am not really the one to grill but I am gonna try since no one is playing the mean Juror yet!
Lucifer: I am happy to see you here at the end and I would commend you on picking Poirot to be here in the end with you over Rust, because I think most of the Jurors will agree that it would have been a basically open and shut case on determining the winner. I'm really going to make my thoughts known in this post.
For the both of you: Something that is really big with me is communication. Poirot you are at a disadvantage of this with me because we really only got to play together for one whole round and at times during that round it felt like you were just ignoring my message that was sitting in your inbox. The thing is though you weren't the only one who was doing that to me during the course of the game. Poirot, while your Opening Speech was nice, it felt like you were pandering too much to everyone specifically as you were putting out specific names. Why did you feel like the need to do so? It didn't feel like you necessarily needed to do so.
Lucifer your disadvantage is from a different aspect, we started off really strong back on BAU when it came to messaging each other, but it quickly died off near the end of BAU mainly probably because we had all gotten complacent. When we first reconnected during the merge it felt like you were apprehensive at first to talk with me, possibly because of the fact that you were involved with my number one ally going home in the game? I also know that situation didn't exactly go smoothly because of communication issues. What is a moment in the game that you felt like was your biggest mistake?
So the question is, why should I specifically vote for you to win?
That definitely became an issue. I think challenges ended up being a big strength of my game play, but part of me honestly wonders if it would've been good for us to lose a challenge on the BAU. I don't want to second guess it too much, because I ended up here and everything worked out good for me in the long run, but I think it could've really helped some of my relationships on the BAU. Like you said- we all got really complacent and I think that was a product of just nothing going on.
Nick going was something that did make me really apprehensive. He had created that three musketeers alliance chat with us and I was really excited about it at first and wanted to work with both of you, but when I ended up having to vote him out- I honestly felt like I had kind of betrayed you and I wasn't sure how you would react to it. You ended up being really gracious and understanding and I really appreciated that, but early on in the merge I was worried I had burned a bridge with you. After that tribal council started and we were on the same page with that vote, I felt a lot better about things between us and was really excited to work with you going forward, but unfortunately that idol happened.
Leon going at F4 is something I feel was a mistake. I feel like I got a little bit complacent there- in my mind it seemed really logical that we should work together there and try to get to the end together because that made a lot of sense for both of us in my opinion. If he was completely unwilling to work with me, then it may have turned out the same way- but at the very least I think I could've done more to try to make sure things worked out between us. I think at it's core- this mistake kind of comes down to the fact that my communication wasn't perfect, but I realize that, I'm committed to improving it and I don't think it should inherently bar me from winning this game.
Here's why you should specifically vote for me-
First off, don't penalize me for spending more time with you. The fact that I holistically spent more time with the jurors pre-merge than Poirot did is directly linked to the fact that my structural game play was better. Communication is what's important to you: Me and Poirot both made mistakes communicating this game- My inability to connect with you when merge hit was certainly one of those incidental communication mistakes I made, but I think I showed an ability to overcome those mistakes when I needed to. You saw this when we were able to reconnect at the Final 11 by reaching an agreement to vote Jake together. I never intentionally miscommunicated with jurors to blindside them. I tried to be honest with you about what was going on when were together- I never ignored you. You were somebody that comparatively I talked to quite a lot. I haven't pandered to you and have instead tried to be as straightforward as I can because I feel like that's the best way to communicate properly with you. I think I played a good game and while I wasn't perfect, I do think I communicated well with you and comparatively communicated better. So commend me by voting for me.
15
Final Tribal Council / Re: Social
« on: August 12, 2020, 05:31:47 pm »Okay so, I do want to make a bit of an apology. As a juror, I often ask things in a emotionally charged way to see how you will address and handle those sorts of criticisms. I wasn't feeling particularly well yesterday and I may have been a little excessive on that front. However, both of you answered what I was hoping to get out of you both in what I asked and why. So I thank you for that.Your questions didn't bother me at all, you've been kind to me and given me an important opportunity to clarify things and I really appreciate that.
Let's have a much nicer fun question for you both. For each juror, what was your favourite moment with them that you shared? Whether it was a funny line or some topic of conversation you've had, or a really hard TC you got through together with them. Give us the parts of this game you loved most that each person influenced in some way.
I think my favorite situation with Pikachu was the first merge TC when he got us together and suggested voting out Jake. I hadn't felt super great about my position in the game and was really apprehensive about the merge and knew my name had come up at least a little bit and I hadn't been hearing much from people which made me nervous. I was also slightly uncomfortable about where I stood with Pikachu, because I'd voted out Nick a round ago. Him reaching out was a big step in making that vote happen and it made me really excited. I had quietly wanted Jake gone for a minute at that point and so the target was perfect and I was really excited to be a part of an alliance with Pikachu/you/Rust and I was hopeful we could take some control over the merge. It didn't work out like I'd hoped, but Pikachu reached out to me and made amends when I was worried and overlooked the fact that I voted out an ally of his when he would've been justified in being upset at that and I really appreciated that.
My favorite situation with Scruff was when I first met him on the BAU. Tribe swaps are always a nervous time for me, because I don't have a great idea what's going to happen going into them and in that situation it was four 12 members and we had Quentin from our tribe, who I didn't feel comfortable counting on in the slightest. I felt like my conversation with Scruff got off to a good start and he was the first new member of that tribe I really connected with. His openness and the fun conversation we had and the alliance* we were able to form a little later made me happy and gave me some much needed security when I was apprehensive.
(*you might notice a trend- people offering me an alliance, specifically early on in games makes me really happy and gives me a lot of hope. I know people often end up with a lot of alliances and don't really stick to them, but it's always exciting for me and gives me some confidence)
I had a lot of really fun moments with you. This isn't really a specific moment, but early on in the game I really enjoyed spending lots of late nights talking to you. We were constantly sharing music and talked about a lot of different fun things. I've always been someone who stays up really late and quarantine led to me staying up even later than usual and it's often my favorite part of the day. It's when I can kind of relax and enjoy life after difficult days and having you to keep me company was really cool and made it all the more fun and I loved being able to talk to you then when we were usually like the only ones online. There were lots of other fun moments too- like our initial conversation when we first met, all the various times we were scheming together, etc, but that was one thing in particular I enjoyed.
Discussing music with Jake was really fun for me. Like I always love listening to music and it's something I like talking about in these games. On the BAU we talked about it a lot and I really love how we were able to bond over it. At first I was really worried because like the music he liked was really foreign to me and it wasn't the stuff I normally listen to, but I gave it a try and it wasn't bad and over time we were able to find like this middle ground of like modern pop rock music that we could bond over which was really cool. He had a really charismatic personality that made our conversations a lot of fun.
I felt like I had a really fun conversation with Lennie going when we first met- we talked about like music and board games and lots of other fun stuff and I thoroughly enjoyed all of it. Part of me is still really sad we weren't able to continue things after that and work together more later in the game. I feel like I missed an opportunity to connect with him more during the Strike Team TC. We were both ended up being on the same side, but I was hesitant about talking to him at first because I wasn't sure where he was at and our conversation kind of stalled out, but the discussions we had prior to that were really fun and I enjoyed them a lot.
My favorite moment with Judy was probably the one tribal council on Strike Team. I had really liked her at first, but felt like we kind of left things a little awkwardly at the end of our time on the 99. Being together on Strike Team gave us the opportunity to reconnect and I think we took advantage of it at that tribal council. We were able to agree to vote Nick early on and then throughout that TC, Judy really kind of kept me comfortable? Like she told me about my name coming up which I really appreciated and about the idol and I tried to be really upfront with her too about where I was at. It was the first time my name had came up all game and I honestly got a little stressed out and having her to talk to made it a lot better. And it was a good transition from the string of depressing topics we had discussed prior to that TC happening.
I had a lot of fun times with Penelope. I loved talking to her. I think one of my favorite moments was when we were discussing the F6 and F5 challenges. I'd made some snide comment about how it was hard to tell the difference between a tree and a nail after the F6 challenge and then I'd promised that I would win the F5 challenge with a time of three minutes and after the challenge she kind of roasted me for doing horribly and I couldn't help but find it funny.
Being able to connect with Leon late in the game was cool. He was the only person I'd never met coming into merge and I felt like we got off to a slow start. Both due to time zones and the fact that we were just on different sides of the game and kind of opposed to each other early on. We were able to work past that though later in the game and started building more of a relationship and that was really cool. I felt like we were finally able to connect and work together a little bit and it was great getting to know him. He was a really sweet person and I'm glad we got to spend some time working together later in the game.
Rust kind of felt like my rock this game. He was really the one person in this game that was there from me from the beginning of merge until the end. Like I could always without fail count on him to have my back no matter what and that meant so much. I've struggled with the games in the past because they're very individualistic and I'm not always that great at that. Like I really like having friends I can confide in and tell everything too and so having him really helped me navigate the merge. Honestly on a personal and emotional level, I felt pretty horrible about voting him out at F3 because he'd been there for me consistently and it felt like I was kind of single-handedly crushing his dreams of winning the game after we'd been together for so long.