So, there's been an alliance of Granny/Coco/Pear/Rarity/Me since the merge. I had one with Granny/Coco on Baltimare, Rarity/Pear on Everfree, and Granny/Pear on Cottage, and Rarity and I were tight from, well, everything - Granny/Pear/Coco had an alliance from SAA, and Rarity/Coco had solid relations from whatever their last one was called even though they were on opposite sides of the vote. It was a kind of natural thing to bring together and go the distance with, and it controlled pretty much every vote up to this point. The Pinkie vote in the first round of the merge, that was countered by the idol, was decided by that group chat.
I'm not a massive fan of just sticking with the majority and not doing anything else though, so I did try to turn things around a couple of times and Derpy seemed like the ideal point of contact for that - he seemed to have a similar mindset to mine, and I figured that since we were on opposite sides of this majority alliance, maybe, provided my identity was hidden, we could control both sides of the vote together and sort of alternate while not letting one another become the target. Obviously, that kind of thing is pretty impossible to work out, but I felt like if anypony would be down to try it, it would be him.
So I was debating this Coco vote during the round Pinkie went, and I was absolutely down to do it when it came down to that last minute push just because of how amazing it would have been and how much it would have thrown everything up into the air, but obviously it didn't work out and I didn't manage to switch my vote back in time.
But a couple of things happened that round that had me on edge. The first was Granny and Coco telling me in the alliance chat that you (@Starlight) were filling them in on the initial Coco vote, and the second was Coco asking Derpy for my name during the last minute push - I know the latter is very reasonable, but combined with the first, my instinct was 'oh god this is going to get leaked right back to my alliance again' and I told Derpy to not tell you anything about me.
Then after Pinkie went home, I asked you what had happened with Coco to see how much you were willing to tell me about it. And yeah... I immediately got told about everything, which made me think you'd probably tell other people about it too, and in my mind, that meant you had to go. It was already decided a while before everypony was busy, I think everypony just became 'busy' because nopony wanted to tell you that the decision had already been made.
Then the last vote... oh god the last vote
The target going in was clearly going to be Derpy, everypony inside the 5 wanted that except me and I couldn't exactly say that I didn't, because they knew somepony was close to Derpy and if I made that obvious, I'd be on the block. So I tried to go to the other side to save it - I set up an alliance with DJ/Soarin/Rarity/myself and then pitched taking out an Apple while I knew Derpy was doing the same thing. I was really hoping it would land on Granny, but it didn't, Soarin wanted Pear so that's where the vote ended up and that's kinda where everything went wrong. Pear and Rarity were tight, Pear and Chrys were tight, and both of them wanted to go with the original vote on Derpy instead.
So... yeah, that's what we did. I didn't tell Derpy, Soarin, or DJ about the switch, because I was still fairly convinced Derpy was holding onto the idol (Pinkie found it gone shortly after I shared the clue with him) and I didn't want three people angry at me for going back on my word instead of two. But that meant I went to all the effort of setting up this alliance just to stab it in the back and obviously DJ and Soarin were not happy about that, both of them pretty much up and stopped talking to me afterwards (DJ was a bit more talkative, but not much). And both of them had solid ammunition against me too from the amount I'd done the previous phase, plus I think they put two and two together and figured out I was the person who had been close to Derpy.
This last vote was supposed to be a 4-2 split over Soarin and DJ to counter an idol play, but I knew I was going home when nopony except Coco talked to me for the last 2 hours. I think the person who voted with me was one of Coco/Pear, but I'm not really sure aside from knowing it wasn't Chrysalis and Rarity/Granny both didn't talk to me despite being online towards the end so I'm fairly sure it wasn't either of them.
Happy to talk about anything in it though. I'm not particularly sad right now, I'm kinda glad the stress is over with, but I imagine I will be later.