MafiaSSK wrote:I being able to read spellbooks from the outside cast a spell to protect me from any attacks.
(6) You can see only the inside out! All you see when you look at people is darkness, and the vague sensation of warm things! That's probably because it's dark inside people.
However, magical spellbooks are renowned for glowing on the inside when they're shut, and only when they're shut. That's how people can tell the difference between normal books, and books of such untold power that their head would explode if they comprehended a fraction of the magic that lay within.
Roll to dodge: 3
Your head explodes, but only a little. It's more like a huge burst of blood surges out of your nose and ears, and you start whimpering like a small child. But you can still see the awesome magic of the Tome of Lightweights.
Calling upon the ancient art of Rug-Bee, you chant nonsense syllables, wave your arms in confusing patterns, and cover everything you can reach in chalk. That's not part of the spell, but it looks cool.
Finally, when you complete the summoning of the elderitch energies, they surge through your mortal flesh, surrounding you in an unholy halo of green fire that causes anything to touch it to be turned into dust.
Technically, it's not dust, it's more fossilised mouse poo. But you wizards don't tell people that. It's a lot less threatening to threaten to turn someone to mouse poo, than dust.
Trust me. I know these things. Did I mention that you can only see from the inside out?
Pentadragon wrote:I go to heaven.
(4) You go to the Heaven night club, a nice place where sensible people go to drink large quantities of water, and eat healthy food. It's a bit extravagant for your tastes, especially since everyone seems to want to pet and stroke you.
Then you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, and realise that you're inhabiting the body of Douglas, the ancient unicorn friend of skitzer. You start having identity issues, and pay no attention to all the people wanting to stroke your unicorn hair.
Trust me, you're irresistible, but only in a fluffy puppy way.
wolframnhart wrote:i go to hell
(1) You decide to work at IKEA.
Trust me, it'll be good for you. Better than sitting in this oven, anyway.
Roll to dodge: 2
Your hair is starting to singe. Trust me, it's not worth hair follicle reconstructive surgery.
bird1111 wrote:MafiaSSK's cells decide to stop working. Without me having anything to do with it.
While you're dancing a passionate dance with pacman281292, you think about how lovely to settle down, and raise a family. Obviously, this family wouldn't last very long before being gored by unicorns, but it's a nice thought.
Roll to dodge: 2
You innocently glance over at MafiaSSK, who appears to be a burning effigy, apart from the fact he's bleeding. You don't think his cells are dying, but he's probably in a great deal of pain.
Trust me, you feel a tiny bit guilty.
ShadowGirl wrote:I put hasdgfas in an aquarium.
(6) You ensure that at least a quarter of his extended quest involves a contaminated ocean, a mysterious singer's eggs, a weird mad scientist, female pirates, and a turtle with a palm tree on it's back.
Roll to dodge: 3
*du de doo* You learned the Song of Copyright Infringement!
Trust me, you should play it.
Mokina wrote:Predictibly, I GO TO THE CHOPPA.
(1) It's taking a long time to get here, it must be stuck in traffic.
Roll to dodge: 2
Your footman informs you that there is some sort of plot against your crown. Not you, just the crown on your head.
If the crown were to be destroyed, the monarchy would surely fall! Trust me, this is quite important!
StrangerCoug wrote:Fast food somehow makes people skinny.
(2) Listen, do you know what "defenestrate" means? It means to chuck out of a window! You just chucked Kairyuu's face out of a window, with an axe!
I mean come on, you looked totally cool! Trust me, that was awesome. Pity you had to cut it off.
Korts wrote:I defeat CFoH in an epic battle. There can only be one of us!
(1) Yes, because after all, there can only be one purple haired monstrosity in this universe! First of all, you activate your 7th Level Daily Power,
really big ball of fire
, rolling a 17 vs the CFoH's Fortitude defence.
However, the CFoH effortlessly swallows the fireball, and snaps his fingers, and you can feel reality dissolving and reforming around you!
Roll a saving throw: 9
The Cleaning Fire of Hell, has changed this campaign setting back to 3.5 Edition! All your powers are worthless, since no one has a Reflex defence any more. Trust me, what use is a dragonborn wizard now?
xelada wrote:I become a fully fledged necromancer.
(3) You buy lots of skull covered clothing, dress a lot in black, and try to become a very stereotypical looking necromancer, but unfortunately you don't have any powers, apart from to creep people out.
Trust me, it's harder than that to gain power over people's bones.
animorpherv1 wrote:Me, my clothes, and and anyone else in the way, run straight into a restaurant, we break through the wall, and smother a copule of waitresses. I then turn off my device, filling the restaurant with random pieces of clothing.
(6) Your clothing snowball is uncontrollable, and smashes straight into Heaven, a popular nightclub where people behave themselves.
There is an awful lot of commotion, as people clothes are sucked off their bodies and stuck to your snowball, and other clothes touch the floor, and lose their charge, meaning the clothes that make up your snowball are constantly changing.
The waitresses are so smothered, they are pressed flat as pancakes, but then they stand up, and start shooting them with their tea trays (which is waitress slang for Rocket Launcher).
Trust me, you're causing havoc. By the way, you can't turn it off. You never put a switch in.
ChuckNorris wrote:I eat food from Burger King.
(3) You decide to check out Heaven, this new nightclub that everyone's talking about. You step outside into the clear night air, and look up at the beautiful splash of stars on the night sky.
However, you take one look at the nightclub, which appears to be some sort of giant sphere of clothing, and decide to go to Burger King.
Trust me, it'll be better for you in the short term.
Kairyuu wrote:I square off with the remaining Douglas with my newly enhanced +2
vorpal
spork of stabbity death. Now whenever I roll a natural 20 I get an instant kill.
The only remaining Douglas is inhabited by Pentadragon. But you take one look at the soft fur, and the dewy eyes...
Roll to dodge: 1
Aww, aren't you furry little Douglas? Yes you are, you're so cute, like a button, so fluffy and cuddly and fluffy and cuddly, fluff cuddle, fluddle, fluff.
Trust me, he's gorgeous. But in the kitten way.
Natirasha wrote:I persuade my undead bear lover army to help me overthrow Mokina.
(2) They're far too busy settling down, and raising creepy undead bear children.
However, you do hear this plot to assassinate Monika's crown. That would definitely cause the monarchy to fall!
Drench wrote:I set upon installing flesh-eating shadows into the Library. Y'know, to make it more realistic.
(1) You import lots of statues of weeping angels.
Roll to dodge: 2
You are transported back to 1973, and start singing David Bowie songs. Trust me, when a weird girl with a clown starts talking to you, you know you're in a coma.
skitzer wrote:I use Douglas's magical teleportation powers and warp to the nearest Burger King.
(4) Douglas doesn't seem to be around, so you spend an awful lot of time looking for him. You call in some favours with the military, and in exchange for some DNA, extracted from your eye (which burns, and turns purple for some reason), they locate Douglas with their fancy Ion Cannon Tracking Satellite. They then fire it at Douglas.
Roll to dodge: 6
Wow, that was lucky. You didn't have to run in slow motion, because there was some really big ball of clothes over Douglas' position, which absorbed the shock! Trust me, isn't that handy?
Inquisitor Vulcan Skorn wrote:I appear dramatically with blazing lightning and crashing thunder.
(6) You are beamed down, via an ion discharge, and appear in a burning crater, completely naked, so you then spend about ten minutes beating up a biker, before nicking his clothes and bike. You've also got a shotgun.
Trust me, I think you should try to destroy that net in the sky.
AGear2Ax wrote:After the McDonald's incident a Queen Monika's Servant save my life, since then, my admiration towards Queen Monika's Servants have grown and I'm trying to become one as well.
(4) Noticing that Queen Monika is waiting for a helicopter, you construct one out of the carcass of another helicopter you find in some abandoned military base. You fly it over to her.
Roll to dodge: 3
That's strange, you can't hear any SAM fire.
Trust me, that's weird when that happens in this game.
hasdgfas wrote:I shoot a nut at skull kid
(1) You blow a bubble instead. Rather counterintuitively, this makes the skull kid drop some sort of magical instrument, which you then pick up.
Roll to dodge: 6
You remember Queen Monika, who taught you the Song of Time! Trust me, you don't want to play that. Just let the moon hit, it'll be easier.
Korts wrote:bump?
(3) I'm afraid not.
Kairyuu wrote:Much agreed. BumpBumpBump. C'mon yellowbounder.
(1) No.
Inquisitor Vulcan Skorn wrote:I am that which goes /bump in the night, Yellowbounder!
(5) That's nice dear.
