Mini 1521: The Fall - Game Over

[Nachomamma8]

There aren't enough votes to swing at my face as a direct result of what mastin did. Jake was neutral at the time, if we are saying that he sided with me to induce 1v1, wouldn't Jake have voted for you instead? Duck town read me and it wasn't clear at the time his stance towards you. We see later that Duck didn't even intend on voting you and want to vote Jake. Hermy is still a wild card. Mastin is town.

This is the only reason you think Mastin is town?

[emogirl123]

nah, I town read iamusername/mastin for a good majority of the game.

[pieceofpecanpie]

Well you've got a bit over a day to come around to the idea.

[pieceofpecanpie]

EBWOP

...of seeing Mastin as scum

[AngryPidgeon]

Nacho are you ready to give me this scum win yet?

[AngryPidgeon]

Nacho Im scumclaiming in the thread, stop ignoring me :'(

[Nachomamma8]

Nacho Im scumclaiming in the thread, stop ignoring me :'(

Vote: AngryPidgeon

[Nachomamma8]

Unvote

[pieceofpecanpie]

Yeah, those kind of jokes is kind of where we're at now. Is there anything left to discuss for today?

[AngryPidgeon]

1 43 minutes left to go until herp de derp and we lose.

[AngryPidgeon]

Nacho seriously if you don't have anything else to add, lets get this show on the road.

[Nachomamma8]

I woke up and logged on and have spent 15 minutes trying to figure out what I was supposed to do today. I figured it out.

Vote: mastin2

[emogirl123]

enjoy your loss

[emogirl123]

mastin is probably town, but I can't explain why he refused to analyze the three players on his wagon this late into the phase. I guess he really is scum? I was waiting for him to post something, but he didnt.

[Nachomamma8]

Wait but I thought he was town???

[Nachomamma8]

(he's definitely not)

[mastin2]

can you just save everyone the eyesore and just vote me already? I mean it's obvious that is where you are going today.

No, the plan was to vote for a no-lynch.

He's not though. His play is nothing like town mastin.

I'm not sure who mastin's buddy is but it's obvious reading his fake catchup posts he's not town

Nor was it anything like scum Mastin. Because, bluntly, I came into this game expecting to die. When that didn't happen, I knew I'd have to do something. I was at the time in depression, though, so that messed me up, and for the life of me, I couldn't get a good read. On anyone. I still don't know who is scum despite being dead. It could be you, it could be pecan, it could be AP, hell, it could even be Nacho. Fuck, for all I know, it's emo. I simply could not get a good read. And it's right there in my posting. I tried keeping up with the game. But I was having trouble getting a grip. I tried figuring things out, yet no matter what, I continued coming up empty. Nothing. Everything was faked, yes. Because I have literally nothing. On anyone. Not through lack of effort. When I remembered about this game, you have my word that I was thinking. And thinking. Literally every damn minute I had. About it. And never. Never. Getting anywhere.

So if mastin is it, I would say its between Emo/Jake.

I do hope you're scum, because if you seriously. For so much as one god-damned second. Think I would bus my god-damned scumbuddy in mylo. You don't know me at all. You know that I hate being the last scum. You know that I despise being alone, that I don't think I can pull it off.

I can feel the disdain for his role PM in every word he posts.

Disdain, yes. At my role PM, no. At myself.

I'll take 90% of the blame for the loss, right here, right now. Because there is all sorts of things that I should have done but didn't. I shouldn't have accepted. I should have read during the night, chance of being nightkilled be damned. I should have offered to replace out when I realized I was having trouble getting reads. I should have kept caught up, instead of giving up on keeping up and going along. I should have given every single spare moment of my time, even if that only meant progressing my readthrough one post at a time, rather than insisting on setting aside a batch of time to do so. I should have followed through on what little feelings I did have in the game, in spite of how weak they were. I should have, but didn't. That's all on me.

But you cannot with a straight face claim that there was not town in me. Not much. Oh, that's another bit; I should have had far more of a strong presence in the game so that the towniness would be more evident. But no matter how subtle, the signs were there. And if you were town, you missed them. Entirely and completely. You of all people know what I've been through. And while I've overcome the depression, that doesn't mean there haven't been lingering effects. Fallout from the bomb. In this case, being an utter lack of ability to comprehensively maintain consistency this game.

As I said. I can see any of you. Literally any of you. As being scum. Despite knowing full good and well only two are. I'm thinking pecan's one. But that's weak-as-hell. Like I said. I have nothing. I had nothing. I said as much. And my efforts this game have been focused on fixing that.

I don't know, he wasn't even very committal about it. Didn't want to look opportunistic?

Again am hoping you're scum and not just biased. Because, really, emo's right. Why not committal about it?

Because I wasn't in the mindset of scum

. I was, still am, in the mindset of a town player...who never got a chance to get into the groove.

Ok, so mastin COULD have done something that MAYBE would have made more sense to do as scum. But I kept calling out for him to get involved and stop lurking and he was ALREADY TAKING FOREVER to get into the game. He can only delay HAVING OPINIONS for so long. Mastin isn't one to make shitty assumptions (like that Hermy will come back and behave a certain way; note that she flaked)

I cannot delay having an opinion, AP. If I was scum, you damn-well know I can fake having a god-damned opinion on a player in mylo, even a blind mylo. The fact that I didn't should have been a MASSIVE tip-off. That, maybe. Just maybe. I was town. Who can't force an opinion. Who can't make something out of nothing. Who has to find that something, and was struggling. Fighting and failing. To get it. It started with the depression. It then progressed into me simply being lost. I tried. You saw me trying. It was right there. And that's why I'm basically hoping you're scum. Because if you were town, you mislynched me...for something you damn-well knew wasn't a scumtell, but rather, a mental health tell. Or if anything, a towntell. When was the last time I-as-scum showed no true inclination towards lynching a player? I don't think it's ever happened, because a scum-me ALWAYS has a plan. A scum me ALWAYS has something up his sleeve. A scum me even when entirely out of the game can still create some way to win. That wasn't here. Because this isn't my scum me. I'm better than this as scum, even on my worst scum days.

[mastin2]

mastin is probably town, but I can't explain why he refused to analyze the three players on his wagon this late into the phase. I was waiting for him to post something, but he didnt.

Because I simply didn't pay attention to those on my wagon. I was aware it existed. I knew I was getting lynched. But I also knew that if I focused on the names on it, it would taint my reads. I'm egotistical. Of

course

I'd think those voting me would be scum. Completely and entirely ruining my chances of providing actual content. (This mindset, by the way, which was REALLY FUCKING OBVIOUSLY THERE, should have been another tip-off.) I

have

been posting things, and not just regurgitation of others' previous posting. My walls had analysis in them. They were me trying to figure things out. And I was setting aside literally the entirety of my day for this game. I was going to come in. (I came home early from work today, even.) Skip lunch, maybe even skip supper, maybe even skip the god-damned super-bowl despite the Seahawks being in it, for MS.net games, and resist the urge to get distracted by art or video games. Prod-dodge post in other games. And focus the entirety of my effort in reading the remaining 95 or so pages in the game. One damn day is all I needed.

Yes, I squandered previous opportunities. As I said...fallout from the depression. I needed to work out a schedule. There are things that I needed to get done. I tried my best to manage my time, so that I could have the opportunity to do so. But this is not a skill I inherently possess. I did what I could to prioritize things effectively and maximize my time, but obstacles and shortcomings that I hadn't accounted for kept interfering, and my mindset of "all or nothing" got in the way. Thus the blame. I should have replaced out because of the time management issue. I should have better organized so that I would have a failsafe. I should have adapted a "do what I can when I can" mentality instead of the doomed-to-fail 'all-or-nothing' one. All on me. But no. I did not give no effort. I did not not-try. I should have given more time/effort. Yet they were already there, having done nothing. I should have conveyed this better, that yes. I was having trouble getting a grip. That yes. I was lost. That, yes. I had no clue what I was doing. That, yes. I had no real opinions. That, yes, I wasn't keeping up. That part's also on me.

And, yes, I was going in entirely unbiased. I cleared my head of an AP-Jake scumteam. I cleared my head of you being town. I cleared my head of everything, to try and get solidified grounding, rather than the nothingness I had before, which still had biases based off of nothing but emotional quick-reactions rather than actual solid basing.

But these things being present? Huge fucking tip-off. It's my fault for not emphasizing them enough. (I believe I didn't out of fear that they'd be used to scumread me.) Yet of all the players in the game?
Only emo?
The player who knows me the least?

Managed to actually pick up on that? That's where you can find the other 10%. Nacho's said it best about me. I cannot be defined by some arbitrary traits, such as willpower or heart. I cannot be defined by some arbitrary requirement like content or activity. Those things peak into Mastin as a person. Never the player. Never the alignment. Emo was the only one who seemed to pick up on these things. Emo was the only one who had figured out that element, and also correctly honed in on the

actual

tells.

I will respect blacklists on me created because of this game, though I give you my reassurances that this game is a fluke of the past, and that because I'm in the recovery stages, it will not happen again. But for those of you who are willing to play with me again, keep that in mind. My mindset this game was town. Just town out of touch with reality. Learn to read

that

.

[mastin2]

(Which is kinda sad, since it STILL wouldn't surprise me to learn emo's cautious scum. In spite of everything saying both scum were on my lynch, no, I can't nag the feeling that the player seemingly knowing me the best had some sort of way of having known. Too good to be town, as fallacious as it sounds.)

[pieceofpecanpie]

Is that town-mastin talking...? Does town-mastin always speak after he's been hammered? Are you serious? You're not scum...? Jesus, why did you just post and post and post all that rubbish whilst completely ignoring everyone instead of making

this exact post

you just did?

pedit: I was referring to your first wall with quotes, rather than the one above. I'll need to read that later.

[pieceofpecanpie]

That question is somewhat rhetorical. I don't like it when RL mixes with mafia games. Sorry to hear that.

But any number of players were trying to get something out of you. Interaction, votes, acknowledgement...

[pieceofpecanpie]

Quick mastin, tell us your scum reads, from most to least scummy.

[mastin2]

And fuck the town on the wagon. No-lynch was the right move today. If lynching were the best move, you can damn-well bet that I would have done so. I would check, and double-check, to make sure the player I planned on voting had no votes, first. To prevent a scum quicklynch. Yet I didn't. I took the attitude that today wasn't a day for lynching scum. Today was a day for

finding

, via ANALYSIS, scum. Which was another contributing factor in me playing like I did. Because a no-lynch should have happened, me getting caught up was in my mind not as large of a deal. It needed to happen, yes. Which is why I set aside so damn much time today to accomplish specifically that task. But catching up when we were going to no-lynch anyway wasn't nearly AS important as it'd have been if we were going to lynch.

We had no conftown. No truly obvtown, either. The death during the night WOULD, therefore, be good info to have had.

You can write that off as another "should have" for me: I should have emphasized more clearly that, yes, I intended to vote for a no-lynch today when all was said and done. (Key word: all said. Me not having said anything, no no-lynch vote was cast as a precaution.) But it's right there in my damn posts. Where I basically say, "yep, I need to reread for tomorrow". WHICH WAS ME ALL-BUT EXPLICITLY SAYING THAT I WAS ADVOCATING A NO-LYNCH.

[mastin2]

Jesus, why did you just post and post and post all that rubbish whilst completely ignoring everyone instead of making

this exact post

you just did?

Because I wasn't reading it. I read it now only because I saw the hammer-vote. (I paid attention to votes. Nothing more. Just enough to tell if there was a lynch or not. Not even who was voting. I didn't know you were voting me. I didn't know AP was voting me. I didn't know Jake was voting me. I just knew I was being voted. As I said, I wanted to specifically avoid bias that would have come from knowing the composition of my wagon.) That is how out-of-touch I was with the game. I wasn't reading anything. Except the way back stuff.

The plan was to not be tainted by the later stuff, and to read it when I got there. Because I was having enough trouble as it was. I was having enough difficulty getting my footing without having arbitrarily-defined biases stuck in my mind.

[mastin2]

Quick mastin, tell us your scum reads, from most to least scummy.

And therein lies the problem. The same. Exact. fucking. god-damned. problem. I've had. THIS. ENTIRE. GAME.

I. don't. know.

I can't tell. I really can't. I simply can't.

One minute. I think Jake's actually town. The next, not to doubt my analysis on him.
One minute. I think you're scum. The next, that you were town simply not knowing me.
One minute. I think AP's scum. The next, I think that maybe he just really

doesn't

understand me.
One minute. I think Nacho has to be town for waiting as long as he did to hammer. The next, that he was scum showing some caution.

I don't know. I simply don't have a god-damned clue.

Pecan-AP-Jake-Nacho-Emo, most to least, is my right-at-this-very second guess.
Next second, it could be Emo-Nacho-AP-Jake-Pecan for all I know.

I simply don't. have an idea. Not a god-damned idea.

AP-Nacho-Jake-Pecan-Emo.
Pecan-Jake-AP-Nacho-Emo.

I don't. Pecan-Jake-AP-Nacho-Emo.
I can't tell.