/in-vitational 15: TURBOLYNCHED (Game Over)

[Kmd4390]

Complulsive silencer.
N1- targetted actiondan. Figured I'd die and prove he is a PGO possibly saving two mislynches at some point (myself and actiondan) OR it would be quite obvious he was lying after he was silenced.
N2- targetted Mastin. Didn't really have a good option and I kind of thought it would be a waste of my role NOT to use it on him one night given his reputation (kind of regretting that with so much circulating him today. Almost considered targetting actiondan again but he said he was two-shot and I didn't want to waste his other shot)

Flavor is that I'm Yosarian2 and everyone agrees with me all the time because I hypnotise them. But I'm still working on the hypnosis thing a little and everyone gets all silent and stuff.

I actually thought that who I silenced could vote in thread at first. When it was pointed out that Mastin was voting actiondan, I went back and looked and it turns out he has to PM his votes today.

I think Mastin is scum because of the whole situation with d3x and Jake and robo. It sucks that he can't claim and had I known this would pop up, i'd have silenced someone else. But I can't think of any way that it makes sense for him to be town after robo claimed that he tracked mastin too jake and a bodyguard JK died when Jake busdrove himself and Mastin.

Mastin has to be scum here.

[Zdenek]

Can we just lynch Mastin and then Robo tomorrow if Mastin flips town?

[Kmd4390]

Probably.

[Robocopter87]

Can we just lynch Mastin and then Robo tomorrow if Mastin flips town?

How does this make any sense

I mean, yeah lets lynch Mastin.

But I'm a tracker, not a cop, if he flips town, that doesn't mean I lied. It just means I used my information incorrectly.

But yes, lets kill him, though I think that was a bad choice, kmd

[Zdenek]

Mastin, vote the person you visited on N1. Unvote if the person is dead.

[DrippingGoofball]

waiting

[Zdenek]

First of all, there's the business about who shot Jal.
It's not me.
It's not the masons.
It's not KMD
DGB has another kill on her hands.
I doubt the Robo lies about being a tracker or that Jake lies about being a busdriver.
It's not Mastin because night actions imply that he visited Jake.

So unless there's some SK who can do two thinks at night (which I'll admit is not impossible, but less likely) ActionDan killed Jal and is probably an SK.

With Mastin being unable to claim today, lynch AD is probably a good move.

[Zdenek]

As far as N2 goes.
I am town and did nothing.
The Masons are likely town and did nothing.
KMD is likely town and visited Mastin.
Jake was likely roleblocked again.
Robo claims to have seen Mastin visit Jake.
DGB says she did nothing.
So, Mastin probably shot at Jake and I don't know what AD did
If I was guessing I'd say Mastin is BP scum and AD shot at him.

The nice thing about lynching AD today is that if he flips town, we know that scum can do an action and a kill on the same night.

[DrippingGoofball]

I could sheep this in exchange for a Scummie Nomination for "Most Judicious Sheeping"

[DrippingGoofball]

VOTE: Mastin

[Zdenek]

Why Mastin and not AD?

[Robocopter87]

Is an SK likely

Night one death flavor doesnt give any reason to believe so but we have a kill that doesn't belong to town and hit scum.

So yeah, theres a murderer on the loose probably

[DrippingGoofball]

Why Mastin and not AD?

Both have a NK. It makes no difference. One today, the other tomorrow.

[Robocopter87]

This game is way more setup spec than scumhunting.

[Aj The Epic]

You're the one who just asked if an SK was likely. Kind of a contradiction, don't you think?

[Kmd4390]

If there's a SK, that doesn't make Mastin town. He's still the lynch in my opinion.

Hell, it's still entirely possible that Mastin is SK (that would technically explain his "I don't bus' and Tracey push) and DGB or Actiondan could be scum who tried to shoot Mastin who is NK Immune.

All I know is I have yet to see an explanation for last night's events that points to Mastin being town. That's why he is today's lynch. We'll figure out anything else if lynching him doesn't end the game.

[ActionDan]

post

[T-Bone]

Where did Mastin say "I don't bus?" because I'll vote his ass right now if he did indeed say that.

But seriously...I'm a vote him because there isn't many options left at the moment.

Vote: Mastin

It's almost at the point where we're going to have to start testing some claims I think.

[DrippingGoofball]

I'm very sad that this isn't a hammer yet.

[Jake from State Farm]

vote: mastin

::::::[]

[Kmd4390]

T-Bone

AP, though your logic may be good, you're wrong.

Seriously. You think I'm double-bussing, with Tracey and d3x?
Heck no. I don't so much as normal-bus, yet alone, double-bus. Especially not--if, as you say--when there are only three scum total.

I'm town. 'Kay? d3x may not be and you're convincing me he's scum, but I'm not.

[quadz08]

Votecount 3.4

ActionDan - 0
Aj The Epic - 0
Jake from State Farm - 0
Kmd4390 - 0

mastin2 - 5 (Kmd4390, Robocopter87, DrippingGoofball, T-Bone, Jake from State Farm)

DrippingGoofball - 0
Robocopter87 - 2 (Aj The Epic, mastin2)
T-Bone - 0
Zdenek - 0

Not Voting - 2 (ActionDan, Zdenek)

Deadline is Aprl 4th at 9PM EST, which is in (expired on 2013-04-04 21:00:00).

With 9 alive, it takes 5 votes to lynch.

[quadz08]

Flavor.

Mastin2 [GreyICE],

Mafia Roleblocker

, was lynched Day 3.

The town has achieved its win condition! The game is over!

kmd4390 [Mith],

1-shot Bulletproof Compulsive Silencing Survivor

, has achieved his win condition!

[quadz08]

TOWN:

d3x - dramonic - Bodyguard Jailkeeper
AngryPidgeon - Faraday - Sheep Giver
Robocopter87 - Glork - Tracker
ActionDan - hitogoroshi - Ascetic
Zdenek - Hoopla - Vengeful Townie
Jake from State Farm - SpyreX - Compulsive Bus Driver
Aj The Epic - Tarhalindur - Flaking Mod Mason Vig Over Mafia (Vig for nights 1+ 2 / Mason with Vi)
T-Bone - Vi - Backup Mod Mason Vig Over Mafia (Vig for N3 onwards / Mason with Tar)
Timeater - xRECKONERx - Vanilla Townie
Quilford - Xylthixlm - Mafiabot

Mafia:

mastin2 - GreyICE - Mafia Roleblocker
Jal - Umbrage - Mafia 2-Shot Strongman
TraceyLyn11 - UberNinja - Mafia Goon

THIRD PARTY:

Nobody Special - LlamaFluff - JOAT Lyncher to xRECKONERx (redirect, doc, divert)
Kmd4390 - mith - One-Shot Bulletproof Compulsive Silencing Survivor


Full role PMs in a moment. Scum and masons can release their own QT, if they'd like.

[quadz08]

TOWN

Spoiler: dramonic

JOAN RIVERS

Oh, and here we have...uh...a creepy little French Canadian?

You slowly meander over to the side of the red carpet.

DRAMONIC

Uh...hi?

JOAN RIVERS

And who might you be?

DRAMONIC

I’m Dram.

JOAN RIVERS

And what do you do?

DRAMONIC

Well, I go to college, and I work at a male bath house, and...

JOAN RIVERS

You work at a bath house? Where people go to pay for sex legally?

DRAMONIC

Err, yes?

JOAN RIVERS

So what you’re saying is you’re a dirty little slut for a living?

DRAMONIC

I sure am, and I’m

proud

of it!

JOAN RIVERS

Okay then... have fun in there tonight, and try not to creep on too many guys! Most men feel adequately uncomfortable if another man forcibly tries to enter their rectum!

---

Bathhouse Attendant:

You are a

bodyguard jailkeeper

. At night, you just can’t control how much of a horny little pervert you really are, so you can try to sleep with someone. You’ll be on top of them trying to rape them, so they won’t be able to action... but you’ll also be on top of them, so if someone takes a shot at them, you’ll eat the bullet instead.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Faraday

You walk down the red carpet a ways, flashing a smile to all the cameras, until you’re flagged down by Joan Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

And what are

you

wearing, dear?

FARADAY

De finest sheep's wool in al' av Oirlan'.

JOAN RIVERS

I’m sorry...you’re...huh?

FARADAY

Ye not ‘ear waaat oi said, lady? Oi said oi’m wearin’ wool!

JOAN RIVERS

Oh, I’m... I’m terribly sorry, I didn’t know they’d be letting illegals into this event. I’m not used to dealing with your type.

FARADAY

‘Ey! Waaat de feck ye say ter me? Oi’m not an illegal, Oi’m a guest av yisser country, yer mouldy wagon!

JOAN RIVERS

I’m... I’m leaving now. We can get a translator down here or something.

FARADAY

Gran’ riddance, yer feckin’ kont.

---

Irishman:

You’re a

sheep salesman

. Each night, you may give someone a sheep. You have no idea if this does anything, but you’ve got an abundance of sheep in your country, and you need to pawn them off, goddammit.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Glork

JOAN RIVERS

Sir! Sir! Over here, please!

You casually stroll over to Joan Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

Hello, Mister...

GLORK

Glork.

JOAN RIVERS

Glork?

GLORK

Glork.

JOAN RIVERS

...Glork.

There’s a long, awkward moment of silence between you & Joan. Finally, she recovers.

JOAN RIVERS

Quite an interesting choice of attire, don’t you think?

You look down at your basketball shorts and ridiculously oversized tee shirt and sneakers and just shrug.

JOAN RIVERS

I mean, a pretty big, formal event, and you show up wearing clothes like you just got done with gym class!

GLORK

...and?

JOAN RIVERS

And... it just... I guess it just seems a bit

lackadaisical

, if you will.

GLORK

When you’re

this

good at mafia, you don’t

have

to give a fuck.

You stare Joan Rivers down, drop the microphone you were holding, and storm off down the red carpet.

---

Burden of Proficiency:

You are a

tracker

. Each night, you may use your ridiculous skills at finding scum to track one player. You will be told who they targeted, if anyone.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: hitorogoshi

JOAN RIVERS

Excuse me, sir! How do you feel about all of this?

HITOGOROSHI

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JOAN RIVERS

Uh... pretty incredible isn’t it?

HITOGOROSHI

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JOAN RIVERS

Uh... I...

Joan trails off, glancing off-screen at her producers, looking for a way to deal with you.

JOAN RIVERS

Do you... do you have anything to say, at all?

HITOGOROSHI

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JOAN RIVERS

O..okay.

---

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ :

You’re an

ascetic

. Any night actions which target you will fail, except for kills.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Hoopla

You stroll down the red carpet until you’re flagged down by Joan Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

Excuse me! Can I have a word with you?

You blink quickly for a moment before responding.

HOOPLA

I have approximately 2.37 minutes for conversation.

JOAN RIVERS

Okay, darling... thanks for your time!

You quickly scan Joan up and down.

HOOPLA

I estimate there’s a 96.8% chance that you will ask me what I’m wearing.

JOAN RIVERS

Well, uh, aren’t you astute? What ARE you wearing?

HOOPLA

Irrelevant.

JOAN RIVERS

Uhm. Okay...

HOOPLA

Calculations say that only 3.5% of your physical body is actually yours.

JOAN RIVERS

Excuse me?

HOOPLA

Nose: fake. Cheeks: fake. Lips: fake. Other lips: fake. Moisture: fake. Breasts: fake. Skin: 94% artificial.

Joan Rivers huffs.

JOAN RIVERS

You know, forget it! Nobody wants to see an interview with a damned computer anyway!

Joan moves away from you and tries to regain her composure.

HOOPLA

Calculations complete. Time for cake.

---

CAKE:

You are a

vengeful townie

. Everybody knows one of your most famous moments, where you claimed Paranoid Gun Owner but were actually a vengeful townie. Well, now it’s time to shine again. When you are lynched, you may choose another player to vengekill. You must PM this kill to us within 24 hours of the lynch occurring.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: SpyreX

As you step out of the car onto the red carpet, lightning crackles from your fingertips and lights up the sky. Several “ooohs” and “aaahs” go out among the observers, and you’re immediately flagged down by Joan Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

That was quite impressive, darling!

SPYREX

Thanks, dollface.

JOAN RIVERS

Mind telling the world how you put on such a marvelous light show?

SPYREX

It’s simple. I’m a POWERFUL WIZARD.

Joan cackles in delight.

JOAN RIVERS

Well aren’t you a treat!

You stare down at Joan.

JOAN RIVERS

What are you wearing tonight?

SPYREX

THE GRAND ROBES OF THE SORCERER.

JOAN RIVERS

Uh... who makes those?

SPYREX

I cannot reveal the secrets of my powers.

Joan’s smile completely drops and she just stares blankly at you for a few moments before shaking her head and walking away.

---

TOO-POWERFUL WIZARDRY:

You are a

compulsive bus driver

. You are a POWERFUL WIZARD, but your powers have gotten out of control...you HAVE to discharge them every night. You must choose two players each night. Any night actions targeting one of the two players will target the other, and vice versa.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Tarhalindur

The car pulls up. You wait. You pause. This is your moment. It’s time to step out of this car to deafening applause as the mere peasants out there drop to their knees and bow down before the Almighty Mod.

You step out of the car, arms held high. Nobody flashes a camera, or screams, or even looks at you. You wait, expecting people to catch on. Nothing.

You see Joan Rivers interviewing some people. You pass by her, slowly, waiting for her to call you over. She doesn’t. You walk backwards and go back by her again. She doesn’t seem to give a damn. Finally, you march over to her and push someone else out of the way.

TARHALINDUR

I’m here and ready to start my interview, Miss Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

And just...who the hell are you?

TARHALINDUR

I am Tarhalindur, the almighty mod. I am VERY well known for creating incredibly complex, advanced setups that mere mortals could not even begin to imagine in their tiny peasant heads.

Joan looks down at a clipboard, thumbing through pages, until she finally stops.

JOAN RIVERS

Oh, yes, I see you here!

TARHALINDUR

As expected.

JOAN RIVERS

It says here that you’re a shitty moderator who confuses complexity with good design.

TARHALINDUR

It... WHAT!?

JOAN RIVERS

Mhm. Says that you couldn’t run a coherent game even if you tried and that your last three or four attempts to run a game were complete and total catastrophes that put the Hindenburg to shame.

TARHALINDUR

Why, you wretched little-- WHO DARES BE INSUBORDINATE TO THE MOD THY GOD?

Joan Rivers just cracks up laughing and walks away from you, leaving you standing alone on the runway, looking sad and dejected. Your

friend

#1 dicksucker Vi walks up behind you and pats you on the back, whispering sweet lovenothings into your ear.

---

Flaky Mod Mason Vig Over Mafia:

You are a

flaky mod mason vig over mafia

. You think yourself to be a god among moderators, but the truth is, you actually flake all the time... luckily, you've got your personal dicksucker around to pick up the slack! You have a quicktopic with Vi (T-Bone). You know one another to be town. Additionally, you have a vig shot that can be used on Nights 1 and 2. Vi (T-Bone) becomes the vig from Night 3 onwards.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.


SECRET MODNOTE (not given to player): While Tar is the vig, it is a strongman.

Spoiler: Vi

You stumble out of the car immediately after your buttbuddy Tarhalindur. You nearly fall over yourself trying to catch his coattails, and after his bumbling interview with Joan Rivers, you follow up with her.

VI

M-m-miss Rivers?

JOAN RIVERS

Yes, darling? Who are you?

VI

Well, I’m Vi.

JOAN RIVERS

Yes, darling! And what--

VI

I think you were very rude to Mr. Tarhalindur.

JOAN RIVERS

Who?

VI

The creative GENIUS that you just interviewed! You completely brushed him off...

JOAN RIVERS

Oh, that guy.

VI

He’s not just THAT GUY! He’s the GREATEST moderator in existence. He’s so smart, and I aspire to be just like him. So smart. So, so smart.

JOAN RIVERS

Uh, alright, doll...

VI

...and talented, and brilliant, and sexy. Oh so, so, so sexy...

Joan wanders off.

VI

HEY! NO! COME BACK! I’M NOT DONE TELLING YOU HOW GREAT HIS GAMES ARE AND HOW MUCH THEY’VE INSPIRED ME!

---

Backup Mod Mason Vig Over Mafia:

You are a

backup mod mason vig over mafia

. For some reason, you just love Tarhalindur, yet you are always forced to pick up the slack for him when he inevitably flakes. You have a quicktopic with Tarhalindur (Aj the Epic). You know one another to be town. Additionally, Tar (Aj the Epic) has a vig shot that can be used on Nights 1 and 2. You become the vig from Night 3 onwards.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: xRECKONERx

You roll up to the Scummies in style, driving your beat up piece of shit Honda Accord. As you step out of the car, rainbows literally fly out of your asshole because you’re that goddamn fabulous. Joan Rivers flags you down.

JOAN RIVERS

Sir! What are you wearing tonight?

XRECKONERX

Unicorn fur.

JOAN RIVERS

Uh...what?

XRECKONERX

You heard me, biatch.

JOAN RIVERS

I don’t really appreciate you speaking to me like that.

XRECKONERX

Don’t you

know who I am

, dammit? I’m the King! I can say whatever I want to whoever I want.

JOAN RIVERS

Well, not to me, you can’t.

XRECKONERX

I can bitch. I can bitch. Because I’m

better

than you.

JOAN RIVERS

Did you...did you just quote Elton John?

XRECKONERX

Mmmmhmm. You know it, girlfriend.

JOAN RIVERS

I’m not your girlfriend. Get over yourself. Get a real job, you bum.

RAGE:

You are a

vanilla townie

. You may think you’re hot shit, but it seems you may be overestimating yourself. You have no abilities. Bummer!

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Xylthixlm

You step out of your limousine and immediately walk up to Joan Rivers, who is flagging you down.

JOAN RIVERS

Hello! And you are...

XYLTHIXLM

Xylthixlm.

JOAN RIVERS

Can you spell that?

XYLTHIXLM

Xylthixlm.

JOAN RIVERS

Uh-huh...well, that doesn’t really help me. Why are you here tonight?

XYLTHIXLM

Well, I’m kind of a big deal.

JOAN RIVERS

Oh? Why?

XYLTHIXLM

I created the XylBot.

JOAN RIVERS

The...what?

XYLTHIXLM

The Xylbot. A mafia robot.

JOAN RIVERS

I... see.

XYLTHIXLM

Here, lemme call it down.

You pull out a remote and mash a few buttons, and a giant metallic robot flies down from the sky and lands on the red carpet.

XYLTHIXLM

Meet Xylbot!

JOAN RIVERS

Oh uh...hi, Xylbot!

XYLBOT

XMAFIA SETUP RANDOMIZATION BEGIN. COMPUTING.

Joan cocks an eyebrow.

XYLBOT

Target identified. Role: witch.

JOAN RIVERS

Excuse me!?

XYLTHIXLM

Oh, uh...I’m sorry about that...

XYLBOT

NOT ENOUGH PLAYERS. ASSIGNING XYLBOT A ROLE IN THE GAME. COMPUTING.

XYLTHIXLM

Uh oh.

XYLBOT

XYLBOT ROLE: VIGILANTE. VIGILANTE KILL TARGET: JOAN RIVERS.

XYLTHIXLM

I’d run if I were you...

Xylbot’s eyes begin to glow red. Joan Rivers runs away screaming as he fires a laser blast, incinerating the ground where she was once standing. You look around and chuckle nervously at all the terrified onlookers then slowly escape into the building.

---

!xmafia:

You are a

Mafiabot

. You will receive a PM at the beginning of every night with a randomized list of roles from !xmafia. You may choose one of those abilities to use each night.

Win Condition (Town):

You win when all threats to the town have been eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

MAFIA

Spoiler: UberNinja

There are many words that can be used to describe you: obnoxious, pedantic, and many more that are not exactly appropriate to list in a role PM. However, there’s an obvious word to describe you when it comes to this site: underappreciated. You’ve worked your ass off in the Art Group and tried to help out with coding. You’ve started the game ratings project, and you’ve generally gone out of your way to help the site, and what do you get for it?

A bunch of jokes about how you are ReaperCharlie and a bunch of bans for acting out like a child! How dare they! Well, there’s one thing that their continual ignoring of you has provided... the ability for you to sneak into the 10th Annual Scummies ceremony unnoticed. You and your team of Shitposters will stop at nothing to destroy everyone in the room and make sure people recognize your might.

ReaperCharlie:

You are a

mafia goon

. Too many people think that you are ReaperCharlie, and you’re crippled by it, so you don’t have any special powers.

Shitposters Anonymous:

Together, the shitposters are determined to ruin this event, one way or another. You are in a mafia team with Umbrage (PLAYERNAME) and GreyICE (PLAYERNAME). Your mafia quicktopic is here. You may post in it at any time. You may also commit the factional Nightkill.

Missing RSVPs:

You know that DrippingGoofball, Andrius, Ether, and MeMe were unable to make it to the ceremony, and are therefore available as fakeclaims. Flavor can be generated upon request (send the mod

a fakeclaim + role).

Win Condition (MAFIA):

You win when the town and any threats to the mafia (if any exist) are eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Umbrage

So you were just chilling at this funeral, right, and you overheard this DUMB BITCH walk up to the widow and say, “I’m sorry for your loss”.

I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!? LOL

You stood up and interrupted their conversation to shout UHHH DOOOY!? at the woman’s face and then ran off cackling up a storm as you once again brought justice to the world, as it is your place to do. You’re the most brilliant person in the room? Which room? EVERY ROOM. Savant-like levels of genius spew forth from every pore in your body, but for some reason, those assbags at Mafiascum refuse to acknowledge just how magnificent of a creature you really are.

Well, what better time to prove your hidden genius than during this big Scummies anniversary ceremony? MAKE THEM FEEL YOUR WRATH AND TASTE YOUR SORROW.

Ass Burgers:

You are a

two-shot strongman

. Your delicious ass burgers let you just bypass social cues altogether. Twice during the game, if you are performing your team’s factional kill, you may choose to make your kill a strongman kill and thus bypass all protections/blocks, but not redirects.

Shitposters Anonymous:

Together, the shitposters are determined to ruin this event, one way or another. You are in a mafia team with UberNinja (PLAYERNAME) and GreyICE (PLAYERNAME). Your mafia quicktopic is here. You may post in it at any time. You may also commit the factional Nightkill.

Missing RSVPs:

You know that DrippingGoofball, Andrius, Ether, and MeMe were unable to make it to the ceremony, and are therefore available as fakeclaims. Flavor can be generated upon request (send the mod

a fakeclaim + role).

Win Condition (MAFIA):

You win when the town and any threats to the mafia (if any exist) are eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

Your mafia quicktopic is here. You may post in it at any time.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: GreyICE

I GUESS THESE DICKSNEEZE TURBOCUNTS HERE AT MAFIA SCUM DOT NET JUST DON’T KNOW THE FUCKING HIDDEN GENIUS THEY ARE MISSING OUT ON, DO THEY? HOW DARE THEY NOT RECOGNIZE THE BRILLIANCE THAT IS

GREYICE

. BUNCH OF FUCKING PRIMATES IF YOU ASK ME, I MEAN, HAVE YOU SEEN THEIR IDEAS ON GENDER IDENTITY? ROFL FUCKIN’ TROGLODYTES

ONE WAY OR ANOTHER, THOUGH, YOU’RE GOING TO INFILTRATE THIS STUPID PRETENTIOUS SCUMMIES CELEBRATION AND

DESTROY

THIS SITE FROM THE INSIDE, BECAUSE A PLACE FULL OF DUMBASSES LIKE THIS DOESN’T DESERVE TO EXIST.

TURBOCUNT:

You are a

roleblocker

. You can unleash your rage in the form of long blocks of text, which you then drop on someone. In other words, as long as you are not the one committing the kill, you may choose a player to roleblock.

Shitposters Anonymous:

Together, the shitposters are determined to ruin this event, one way or another. You are in a mafia team with Umbrage (PLAYERNAME) and UberNinja (PLAYERNAME). Your mafia quicktopic is here. You may post in it at any time. You may also commit the factional Nightkill.

Missing RSVPs:

You know that DrippingGoofball, Andrius, Ether, and MeMe were unable to make it to the ceremony, and are therefore available as fakeclaims. Flavor can be generated upon request (send the mod

a fakeclaim + role).

Win Condition (MAFIA):

You win when the town and any threats to the mafia (if any exist) are eliminated, or nothing can stop this from occurring.

Your mafia quicktopic is here. You may post in it at any time.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

THIRD PARTY

Spoiler: LlamaFluff

You step out of the car wearing a giant furry wolf suit. You know you’re sexy, with your big fluffy tail and your silky shiny coat. Joan Rivers, off to the side, waves you over.

JOAN RIVERS

And just...what are you wearing?

LLAMAFLUFF

It’s my

fursona

.

JOAN RIVERS

Your...what?

LLAMAFLUFF

My representation of myself as an anthropomorphic animal character.

JOAN RIVERS

What are you...are you fuckin’ joking!?

LLAMAFLUFF

N...no...

JOAN RIVERS

My GOD! What kind of fucked up freakshow is this event? Are you fucking kidding me? You’re wearing a FUR SUIT to an awards show?

LLAMAFLUFF

I can’t help who I am, you should be tolerant.

JOAN RIVERS

I’m tolerant of Jews and Fags, not freakozoids like you who get off on wearing animal costumes? That’s it, I’m done with this shit!

Joan Rivers wanders off and begins speaking to XRECKONERX down the line a bit. As you see his beautiful, Herculean face flashing smiles to the cameras and making Joan Rivers wet, you begin to fume. You’ve had an irrational (see: fucking stupid) hatred for Reck ever since he outplayed you in a mafia game, and you’ve made it no secret that your hatred for him knows no bounds. So what better time to finally destroy him once and for all and end your petty, childish, pedantic hatred towards him than at this big Scummies event?

Swiss Army Fursuit:

You are a

Lyncher of all Trades

. You have one shot of each of the following abilities:
Redirect - choose two players. The first player’s night action (if any) will be forced to target the second player.
Doctor - choose one player. This player will be safe from a single kill attempt.
Divert - choose one player. If he is tracked, he will be tracked to the mafia nightkill target.

Missed RSVP:

For fakeclaiming purposes, you know that shaft.ed did not attend this event. If you’d like a fakeclaim, just PM the mod(s) and ask for one. You must supply the role, we’ll supply the flavor.

Win Condition (Third Party):

You win and leave the game when xRECKONERx (player) has been lynched. You must be on the wagon. If he is killed, you lose and leave the game.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.

Spoiler: Mith

LIghts, camera, ACTION!

It’s the biggest event of your entire life, seeing the ten years that your site has been alive be celebrated. Joan Rivers calls you over.

JOAN RIVERS

Oh, I actually know who you are! Mith, right?

MITH

Indeed.

JOAN RIVERS

And what are you wearing tonight?

MITH

My finest tuxedo, Miss Rivers.

JOAN RIVERS

Oh of course it is...

She looks you up and down and flashes a fake smile.

JOAN RIVERS

I’ll bet you’re excited to see your site turning so old!

MITH

Indeed I am, Joan! I’ve got to go, though, but thank you for your time!

She smiles. You smile. You leave.

It was so pleasant...but deep down, the hatred burned. This site had caused you so much grief, it had created... a dark desire; actually, it was more like a need. It had been well over a day since you had banned someone over petty bullshit, and you thought you could go for a while, but the need was cropping up...

Must... use... banhammer... DAMMIT, MITH, KEEP IT TOGETHER! Okay, just use the banhammer a

tiiiiiiny

little bit during the ceremony to keep your urge under control, and pray to GOD you can survive the night.

---

SUPREME OVERLORD:

You are a

one-shot bulletproof compulsive silencing survivor

. Your banhammer trigger finger is itching, so every night, you must choose a player to silence. This player will be unable to post in thread for the following day phase, but will be able to PM votes to the mods. And you've got a bulletproof vest on, because let's face it, this is a mafia meetup, and you're the Godfather of the site.

Missed RSVP:

For fakeclaiming purposes, you know that Yosarian2 did not attend this event. If you’d like a fakeclaim, just PM the mod(s) and ask for one. You must supply the role, we’ll supply the flavor.

Win Condition (Third Party):

You win by being alive at endgame.

The game thread is here.

Please confirm via PM with your rolename and alignment.