Spoil a Wish II

[vonflare]

granted, but there's already a mountain living in it and its not willing to move.

I wish I was a fundamental force of the universe

[vonflare]

granted, but the additional speed is equal to your typing speed - the extra data is converted to a byte-based data representation and fed to you mentally, and will be recorded on your computer as fast as you can type it.

I wish for humanity to acquire the necessary technology for interstellar space travel

[vonflare]

granted, but the upgrade is an engine, and the rig drives away.

I wish for a tuba

[vonflare]

granted, you gain the will but lose the talent. no matter how much you struggle, you cannot improve as an artist, despite really wanting to.

I wish for a magic shield to float above me while I'm outside, that protects me from rain

[vonflare]

granted, the site starts having a lot more downtime which gives the account something relevant to post about

I wish I could type with my mind - I simply imagine the characters and they appear at the cursor, without me having to press the buttons on my keyboard

[vonflare]

granted, the first day of the 5-day workweek is renamed to Marsday

I wish I did not need to eat anymore, and my body would just magically produce all the nutrients I need to survive.

[vonflare]

granted, but whatever you decide on, the store will be fresh out.

I wish that any pen I use can never run out of ink

[vonflare]

granted, and the answer is 'no'.

I wish for greater clarity in road signage - specifically, all intersections that don't have a stop sign are installed with a 'go' sign for contrast.

[vonflare]

granted, the chairs have footrests and reclining functions added. however this means they take up much more space, so there's less seating available. as a result of this, whenever you get there all the seats are taken and you have to stand.

I wish for a 3d printer

[vonflare]

granted, but japan officially switches to a new, even more difficult language as soon as you finish learning it.

I wish the wish after this one is corrupted twice.

[vonflare]

granted, biters eat all your oil refineries so you have no more sulfuric acid to make blue circuits, causing a massive backup of unused green circuits.

I wish I could (at will) experience time in slow motion in order to exercise superhuman precision in my movements