GTKAS - Mr Stoofer

[Mr Stoofer]

Hi, my name is James and I live in London, UK, with my wife and two small children. Some random facts about me: I have ridden an ostrich; several pictures of me have been shown on "Good Morning America"; and I once thought up a legal argument that forced the UK Government to abandon an Act of Parliament.

Originally I signed up for this idea with the intention of doing what I did in the Ask Stoofer thread; but since I a have been specifically chosen by a respected scummer to participate, I am going to take this serisouly.

I am a reasonably private person, so prepare for disappointment if you ask very personal questions.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What is your favorite word?
2. What is your least favorite word?
3. What turns you on?
4. What turns you off?
5. What sound do you love?
6. What sound do you hate?
7. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
8. What profession would you not like to participate in?
9. What's your favorite curse word?
10. If heaven exists what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

11. Who on this list should be next for GTKAS?

1. I go through phases of favourite words. I'm liking "laconic" at the moment, especially because of its etymology.
2. "retard"
3. Mrs Stoofer's smile
4. My kids whining
5. "Daddy, I love you", also the roar of the crowd at White Hart Lane.
6. See 4 above.
7. None. I think that I would be unemployable at anything other what I do now.
8. Any, but especially not a "Showbiz" figure being followed around all day by the paparazzi.
9. "Motherfucker"
10. "I hope you enjoyed that, what do you fancy doing next?"
11. Zindaras

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What's your favorite game to have played in so far? Moderated so far?

2. What was your worst game idea (either executed or discarded on the drafting table)?

1. Player: off the top of my head, I enjoyed Peanuts Mafia because I seemed to be in the zone - I only voted 3 players all game, all of them Scum. Mod: Pirates v. Ninjas.

2. I discarded a lot of stupid ideas coming up with Space Monkey Mafia 2, not all of which I can now remember. Starting the game by (truthfully) declaring one player to be Scum was a fairly bad one.

[Mr Stoofer]

Favorites!

1. Movie?
2. Alcoholic drink?
3. Non-alcoholic drink?
4. Quote?
5. Offline activity?
6. boardgame?
7 .Sport (watching or playing)?

I don't think that I have a favourite single one of any of these activities, but I'll give it my best go.

1. Star Wars
2. Peroni
3. OJ
4. "No tea for the Beastmaster thanks -- he drinks the blood of his prey!"
5. NOYB
6. Subutteo
7. Football

I could equally well have said:

1. Casbalanca
2. Tiger Beer
3. Peppermint Tea
4. "It doesn't matter what I believe, it only matters what I can prove!"
5. Still NOYB
6. WH40K (which I haven't played in ~20 years)
7. Cricket

[Mr Stoofer]

7. None. I think that I would be unemployable at anything other what I do now.

This is clearly a lie.

vote: Stoofer

Answer the question!

Then, please answer the question assuming you can purchase the skills necessary to gain employment, and that there exists a boneheaded segment of society willing to pay you well no matter what you do. Would you become a cricketeer? A professional Peroni and tea-taster? Nanny? Please rattle off five dream jobs.

On my wife's Hen Night, she was asked a series of "Mr & Mrs" style questions which one of her friends had prepared and I had provided the answers to earlier. For the fantasy job question, I answered "Jedi Knight". So I'll go with that.

[Mr Stoofer]

6. Subutteo

Do you know the etymology behind Subutteo?

Yes, I certainly do.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. Also, have you seen Spice World
2. and if so, did the Sporty Spice-Subbuteo scene turn you on?

1. No
2. N/A

[Mr Stoofer]

You play subbuteo? No shit... that's awesome! I played for years, but haven't really had anyone to play with since I moved and began traveling for work. :/

Ditto. Fancy a game?

[Mr Stoofer]

7. None. I think that I would be unemployable at anything other what I do now.

This is clearly a lie.

vote: Stoofer

Answer the question!

Then, please answer the question assuming you can purchase the skills necessary to gain employment, and that there exists a boneheaded segment of society willing to pay you well no matter what you do. Would you become a cricketeer? A professional Peroni and tea-taster? Nanny? Please rattle off five dream jobs.

On my wife's Hen Night, she was asked a series of "Mr & Mrs" style questions which one of her friends had prepared and I had provided the answers to earlier. For the fantasy job question, I answered "Jedi Knight". So I'll go with that.

Actually, I have started training my daughter (she has a Purple Lightsabre, that being her favourite colour) and so I should say "Jedi Master".

Funny kid story: We were watching a clip of The Empire Strikes Back on You Tube the other day, when Darth Vader said: "You are not yet a Jedi". She said unprompted: "He thinks that he is a Padawan". Yes, my three year old uses the word "Padawan" correctly in conversation, unprompted.

[Mr Stoofer]

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid ... 7722466210
haha fast forward to 0:46

I like it!

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What is your profession?
Why do I almost always mess up in games of yours I play in?
2. Why do you dislike alts?

3. What did you major in in college?
4. Do you have any interesting and/or significant philosophical opinions?

What one thing should I do to improve my mafia play?
What one thing should I stop doing to improve my mafia play?

1. Barrister
2. Too often abused.
3. I studied Law (we don't have "majors" here, you generally just study one or maybe two subjects at University).
4. I have a complicated theory about picking a team for Cricket that is probably not interesting enough to post here.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What country that you haven't visited, would you like to and why?
2. If you could travel back to any court case in history and argue for one side, which case, and which side?
3. If they were all habitable in their current states, what planet would you like to live on other than Earth and why?

1. [Not quite answering the question, because I have been to the US]I have never been to New York and would like to go there.
2. I'd like to see if I could win

Baigent and Leigh v. The Random House Group Ltd

for the Claimants.
3. Jupiter. I'd like a Villa in the Great Red Spot.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. How often do you play cricket? Where do you normally bat?

2. Do you go to county games at all?

3. What do you think of the 20/20 'revolution?'

4. Who should replace Berbatov if he goes?

5. When, and against whom, was the first spurs game you saw live?

6. What's the best piece of scumhunting you've ever done?

1. About 5-10 times a year. I'm playing on Saturday, in fact. I usually bat somewhere between 1 and 11 inclusive.
2. Yes, not very often.
3. I like, so long as it does not reduce the importance of Test Cricket. I went to the first 20/20 game at the Home of Cricket (which is only a few miles from my home).
4. I think that Ramos should replace him.
5. Not sure. Many many years ago, anyway.
6. Catching the last two Scum in Mini 383: Ogre Village.

[Mr Stoofer]

Could you tell the story again where you got so drunk at a Cricket match that you broke your arm and didn't realize it till Monday? Its one of my favorite stories of all time.

It was a football match on Tour with my Cricket Club. I broke my arm early Monday afternoon but didn't realise until I woke up on Tuesday morning. These are the relevant extracts from the official history of the Tour, as recorded on the Club's website:

On this tour the rules were:

• Saying 'to be fair' or 'to be honest'

This is the cardinal sin, and is often referred to as a 'Peter Beardsley', or just 'the offence'. It is punished, obviously, by having to drink a Mount Gay: a shot each of whisky and dark rum, poured into the same glass. As you'll see, Mount Gays came to figure very large on this particular tour.

...

Monday's lunch had started promisingly with both [Mr Stoofer] and Chadders committing early offences, to the avaricious delight of all witnesses. [Mr Stoofer] duly saw his off, and the conversation continued. During a lull, [Mr Stoofer] paused, gathered his thoughts, and cleared his throat. He raised his hand, and then with great clarity and emphasis said, very loudly: "to be fair...". Cue total uproar. We simply could not believe the magnitude of what had just happened. In some ways, the wisdom of an already wobbly [Mr Stoofer] having another Mount Gay at this precise moment appeared at the time dubious. But tour rules are tour rules, and the waiter obligingly returned moments later with a Mount Gay of astonishing proportions. It must have been a good half pint. As he drained the glass with all the observable pleasure inherent in downing eight fluid ounces of mixed rum and Scotch, we could only look on and wince.


...


[Mr Stoofer] was now starting to feel the effects of his double Mount Gay, and, while emitting feral wails of distress, fell into a nearby hedge.


...


Although by now neither at his most coherent nor agile, poor [Mr Stoofer] was not to be deterred from joining in the football match...

Earlier in the game, [Mr Stoofer] and Alex had contested a crunching tackle, in which [Mr Stoofer] fell heavily on his arm, although little was made of it at the time. As the afternoon progressed the Mount Gays tightened their grip on his ravaged nervous system, with devastating consequences.

...

During the flight [back to London], [Mr Stoofer] began to sober up and started to complain that his arm was sore. After arriving home later, the pain grew worse and worse, and his wife ordered him to A&E to get it checked out. A x-ray revealed that he'd broken his arm. The Mount Gay had been sufficiently potent as to anaesthetise a broken limb.

[Mr Stoofer]

2. I'd like to see if I could win

Baigent and Leigh v. The Random House Group Ltd

for the Claimants.

A question inspired by this: in your experience as a barrister, relatively speaking, how important is the quality of the argument, and how important is the skill of the arguer?

70/30 in favour of the former.

Of course identifying the best arguments is the greatest skill of all, so the above estimate somewhat underestimates the contribution of the arguer.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What's your favourite lawyer joke?

2. Do you wear the wig and gown?

3. Do you ever worry that I'm stalking you?

1. Well, apparently scientists have started using lawyers for certain experiments instead of lab rats. One advantage is that no-one is going to object to cruelty to lawyersl; but more importantly, there are some things that rats won't do.

[I once spent 20 minutes in a meeting swapping lawyer jokes with a client. There were about 6 lawyers present. I estimate that it cost him about £1500 to tell and listen to the jokes.]

2. Yes, for trials and appeals.

3. Nope.

[Mr Stoofer]

2. I'd like to see if I could win

Baigent and Leigh v. The Random House Group Ltd

for the Claimants.

Who would represent the defendants in such a scenario?

In real life, I won the case for the Defendants. I'd like to see what would have happened if the parties had swapped lawyers -- us representing the Claimants, while the actual Claimant's lawyers represented the Defendants.

[Mr Stoofer]

1.)

I've actually wondered this before, and there is certainly no person better to ask:

How much (if any) do you think playing games of mafia helps with being a barrister? Does it keep you sharp, make you better, more confident, or anything?

I ask because I am also going into law (at least that's the current plan), and have always tacitly justified playing mafia on the basis that it would help it me weigh arguments, pinpoint liars, etc., but I'm not sure if it has helped me in real life very much as of yet.

2.)

Two books you make a point to recommend to people when you get the opportunity.

3.)

You are trying to get somebody's attention in real life. What is the most likely method in which you do so?

4.)

You are in a little bit of a rush (you are not exactly late, but you are definitely pressing your luck), and somebody trips and falls near your vicinity, papers sprawling everywhere (nobody else is around to help, suppose). Do you think you would make a genuine effort to help them?

5.)

Which would you prefer: (a) a round-trip ticket to the moon, or (b) a round-trip ticket to a country of your choice? [Both free].

6.)

Are there any games on mafiascum which you did not have a hand in that you wish you did? [This could mean either a game you wish you had played in, or a game you wished you had designed/modded].

1. I really don't see any link. Sorry. I don't think I benefit as a barrister from playing Mafia; and I think that having a barrister's mindset is perhaps a positive hindrance to good Mafia play -- especially when I am Town, I make a mistake, and everyone says "Oh it can't have been a mistake, he's too clever for that..."

2. Holma & Toskala:

WCDMA for UMTS

and Richardson:

WCDMA Design Handbook

.

3. eh?

4. Certainly. I always help people with heavy bags up/down stairs, people who drop things, etc.

5. Assuming safety is not a factor -- I would be too scared to go in a space rocket -- then the Moon would be cool.

6. There are loads of ideas I wish I had had - e.g. Assassins in the Palace.

[Mr Stoofer]

In real life, I won the case for the Defendants. I'd like to see what would have happened if the parties had swapped lawyers -- us representing the Claimants, while the actual Claimant's lawyers represented the Defendants.

Who do you think would have won if you had been arguing the case against yourself?

Given the trial Judge... it would have been very very close.

[Mr Stoofer]

Easy: I would have found for the Defendants.

[Mr Stoofer]

Do you have anything in the works to follow the Space Monkey Trilogy?

The sequel to Pirates v. Ninjas! will be Jedi v. Evil Robots!

[Mr Stoofer]

Aside from the legal profession (including judgeship, etc) what would be your chosen profession?

See post 3, point 7 and post 13.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What would you do if you suddenly got 1 month's work worth of money?
Same with 2 and 6 months

Who/What wins?

2. Batman/Superman?
3. Hercule Poirot/Miss Marple?
4. Chocolate/Vanilla?
5. Coffee/Tea?
6. Electronic RPG/Non-electronic RPG?

1. Just put it against my mortgage.
2. Tough one - Batman, but only just.
3. Pfft.
4. One scoop of each.
5. Peppermint tea, please.
6. Non-electronic

[Mr Stoofer]

1. If they all still existed, which of the 7 original wonders of the world would you most like to go visit?

2. If we only considered things still standing that people can visit today and you could choose, what would the new 7 wonders of the world be?

3. Who is your favorite musical group and/or artist?

1. The Gardens or the Lighthouse.

2. Limited to man-made structures (since the wonder of the smallest flower beats any man-made thing with ease):

• The Great Pyramid
  
• The Eiffel Tower
  
• Millau Viaduct
  
• Great Wall of China
  
• Panama Canal
  
• Grand Palace Complex in Bangkok
  
• And I think I will allow myself to say: the Internet

3. Of all time? The Beatles. Its a cliché because its true.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. Which developed nation, in your experience, has the most ill-considered intellectual property laws?

2. What on earth do you find appealing about Tiger beer?

1. I only know about the UK and a little bit about the US; although in many respects the UK law is harmonised with the rest of Europe. Anyway, my answer is this:

• US Patent law is f***ed. UK law is far better thought out.
  
• European, including UK, trade mark law is f***ed. I don't know much about US trade mark law but it can't be as bad as that.
  
• UK/European copyright¹ law is far too complex. The US law is simpler and far the better for it (except for copyright registration, which is a stupid idea).

2. It's tasty, refreshing, and makes me feel good.



¹ and neighbouring and related rights, moral rights and design rights

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What case are you most proud of winning?

2. Do you ever take cases that you disagree with?

3. If so, are there any cases you've been ashamed to be involved with?

4. If you could be transported to any time in history when/where would you go?

5. Would you rather go to the beach or the snow?

6. Do you think you are riding your reputation for being a devious mod?

1.

British Horseracing Board v. William Hill Organization Ltd

. Nobody ever gave us a chance to win.

2. What do you mean "disagree with"?

3. No.

4. I wouldn't. Time travel fantasies usually ignore the fact that most people were miserable in the past; life was only fun if you had huge wealth and servants. Even then it was fairly boring most of the time. And the benefits of modern medicine should not be overlooked. We tend to take for granted that we do not live our life in crippling agony; that was a real possibility for anyone, of any status, 100 or more years ago. My wife and daughter would be dead (during the latter's birth) if it were not for modern medicine; my son would never have even have had a chance.

5. The snow. I hate getting sand in my inner sanctums.

6. It's actually causing me problems, since no-one ever believes anything I say now. Space Monkey Mafia 2 is a completely honest setup, but the players still don't seem to accept that.

[Mr Stoofer]

1. What do you consider to be areas you could improve on when playing mafia?

2. How highly do you rate your mafia skills in comparison to the rest of the players on the site - do you consider yourself one of the best players here?

3. What's the best way to cook eggs?

4. Which is more important to you - club or international football?

5 .What's your newspaper of choice?

6. Do you have a favourite Star Trek captain?

1. All areas. Seriously.

2. I'm well below average.

3. Poached, on a kipper.

4. Club - not a difficult question.

5. I read

The Times

- I can even claim it as a business expense!

6. Sulu (yes he was a Captain eventually).

[Mr Stoofer]

How do you make time for work, family and mafia?

With some difficulty. It doesn't always work.

[Mr Stoofer]

What effects do you suspect Barak Obama's election to the office of the President of the United States of America would have on the funding for and recruitment efforts of anti-American terrorist organizations?

I'd like to think that if he were elected, the US would spend more time on real problems and less time on the hunt for the Bogeyman.

[Mr Stoofer]

Follow up above inserting John McCain?

Ditto, with less confidence.

[Mr Stoofer]

Have you ever argued a case that you don't think morally deserves to win the case?

Of course. It's not my job to decide whether my client wins or loses, it is the Judge's job. The Rule of Law (in an adversarial legal system, at least) requires that everyone be able to get someone to present their case in its most attractive light, and then have an impartial Judge rule upon it.

[My cases rarely have a "moral" element. I interpret your question to mean "Have you ever argued a case you think ought to be rejected by the Court?"]

[Mr Stoofer]

1. If you could become a superhero, what would your supername and superpower be?

2. Do you sudoku?

1. I would not want to be a Super

hero

. With great power comes great responsibility. I find that providing for my family is enough responsibility. I wouldn't want the burden of having to save the World too. I guess real heroism is accepting that burden if/when it is thrust upon you. I'm no hero.

3. Yeah, sometimes.