Verbose Mafia 2 - Post or Perish (Game Over)

[Mr. Grey]

Status:

It's over. It's finally over.

Links:

Reference: The Guide, The Guests
Pre-Game: The Package, The Plane
Day 1: The Crash, The Cloud, The Conviction
Day 2: The Ship, The Score, The Splash
Day 3: The Message, The Mask, The Mission
Day 4: The Road, The Rainforest, The Rabbit
Day 5: The Blitz, The Block, The Beach
Day 6: The Limousine, The Lighthouse, The Launch
Day 7: The House, The Heart, The Hurry
Day 8: The Nursery, The Null, The Narrator
Day 9: The Tail, The Twist, The Typo
Day 10: The Fall, The Finish, The Finale, The Finally
Post-Game: The Denouement, The Details

[Mr. Grey]

The Guide

Participation and Post Content

1. All posts must have a minimum of 5 sentences and a minimum of 30 words contained in those sentences. Players should check their grammar and spelling as much as is possible, for the sake of readability.
2. All players must post every real-time day (8pm GMT - 8pm GMT) but one during game Days. Players absent for two consecutive real-life days will be up for replacement.
3. Most (possibly all) roles will have a post restriction associated with them.
4. Failure to meet the minimum posting requirements or post restriction will result in some sort of penalty for the first offense. For subsequent failures in addition to the same penalty where applicable, the offending player will also automatically be on the lynching block (see below).
5. Votes, Unvotes, Nominations, and Unnominations (see below) should be posted in bold (

Vote: Steve

,

Unnominate: Fred, Nominate: Mabel, Jabberwock

) on a separate line at the end of a post.
6. No tags or smilies are allowed, except for bold tags for voting/nominating, and italics for emphasis.
7. Quotation of previous posts (using quotation marks, or otherwise) should be limited to words or short phrases; likewise, referencing post numbers or anything else to do with the forum is discouraged. Roleplay a bit (or a lot).
8. Talking about the Moderator during the game is forbidden. If you have a question about your role, ask it by PM. If it's something that everyone needs to be aware of, the Moderator will clarify it publicly.
9. The intent of the Verbose ruleset is to encourage participation and post content. Posts should be on topic and should attempt to follow the spirit of these rules. If the Moderator feels you are posting contrary to the spirit of the rules, you may receive a warning or be replaced.

Timing

1. Day will take place in two phases, each on a fixed schedule.
2. The first (nomination) phase will last 3 real-time days. During this phase, players may not vote, but will instead nominate players to be up for lynching. Players may nominate (up to) three other players.
3. The top three nominated players will be on the lynching block; however, a minimum of 2 nominations is required (so less than three may be eligible), and if there is a tie for the third-most nominations (2 or more) all will be included (so more than three may be eligible).
4. The second (voting) phase will last 3 real-time days. Players may vote during this phase to lynch someone on the lynching block.
5. If a player eligible to be lynched has a majority of the living players' votes at the end of the voting phase, that player will be lynched. Otherwise, no one will be lynched. Note that day does not end when a majority is reached; rather, day ends when the voting phase deadline hits.
6. Night will last 2 real-time days. Players are encouraged to send choices early where possible.
7. For the purposes of this game, the weekend (Friday 8pm GMT - Sunday 8pm GMT) will be considered one real-time day.

General Rules

1. Have fun, and don't be a jerk.
2. Don't even apply for a place in this game if you aren't going to participate. Read all the rules carefully and make sure you will be able to follow them. Unexpected things do come up, and in that case, let the Moderator know as soon as possible so a replacement can be found, but if you just flake, expect to be barred from future mith games for a while.
3. No editing or deleting your posts.
4. Four legs good, two legs better!
5. No invisible text; no extraneous formatting tags.
6. When you're dead, you're dead. No posting in the game thread until the game is over, unless you role specifies otherwise.
7. Get your choices in before the deadlines. If your choice is not received, a random choice will be made for the first night, no choice for subsequent nights.
8. Breaking any of the rules will likely result in one or two PMed warnings and a mod-kill for any future offense, if not an immediate mod-kill (depending on the severity of the offense). Mod-killing will end day or not in whatever way is worst for the offending player. If you see a rule broken, do not post about it in the thread, PM the mod.
9. Even if deliberately breaking a rule is to your side's benefit, it will probably get you banned from future mith games. Don't do it.
10. No referring to the Moderator in the game thread. All questions to the Moderator should be PMed.
11. Some rules are more equal than others.
12. The Moderator is always right. Accept the Moderator's decisions, and if you want to discuss them, take it to private messages, or do so after the game has finished.

Sample Role PM

Player

: XXXX

Role Name

: You are John Doe, the Generic Role PM!

Role Description

: You're not even on this trip, but you'll probably end up getting lynched. You always get blamed for everything. "John Doe did this", "John Doe did that".

Role Details

:

You have no abilities. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You aren't playing, so you aren't allowed to post at all. Ha!

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will result in your Role PM being put in the second post of the thread. Considering you are required to post but are not allowed to, you're pretty screwed, huh. In fact, I think I'll go ahead and carry out your punishment.

If you have any questions about your role or abilities, please ask. Confirm your participation by joining the pre-flight party.

[Mr. Grey]

The Guests

Alive (3)

Fiasco (Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini, the Fascist Dictator!)
HalfMan, replacing Commodore Amazing (Marcus Junius Brutus, the Traitor!)
Thok (Nero Claudius Cæsar Augustus Germanicus, the Crazy Emperor!)

Dead (18)

Phoebus (Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, the Token Corpse!) - beaten, stabbed, shot, poisoned, and head a-sploded Night 0.
Turbovolver (El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, the Token Character!) - lynched Day 1.
Kelly Chen (Jonathan Edwards, the Preacher!) - committed suicide by burning Night 1.
Adele (Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac, the Poet!) - walked the plank Day 2.
mathcam (Huey Pierce Long, the Filibuster...er!) - committed suicide by drowning Night 2.
LoudmouthLee (Alexander VI, the Controversial Pope!) - assassinated Day 3.
Fritzler (Σωκράτης, the Tree Stump!) - drank the poison Day 4.
DrippingGoofball (Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll, the Agnostic!) - committed suicide by burial Night 4.
PookyTheMagicalBear (Derren Brown, the Serial Killer!) - shot Night 4.
Seol (Perry Mason, the Defense Attorney!) - eaten Day 5.
Tamuz (Chantelle Houghton, the Fake Celebrity!) - evicted Day 6.
the silent speaker (Italo Calvino, the Writer!) - killed by the Guests, in the Study, with the Candlestick, Day 7.
Werebear (John Locke, the Doctor!) - killed in some unknown creative way, Day 8.
VitaminR (Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow, the Suicidal!) - jumped from the roof, Night 9.
Cogito Ergo Sum (Sister Grace Voluble, the Satanic Nun!) - bludgeoned with a lead pipe, Night 9.
petroleumjelly (Sister Mary Loquacious, the Satanic Nun!) - stabbed in the back, Night 9.
mikeburnfire (Sister Gabriella "Gabby" Gregarious, the Satanic Nun!) - outnumbered, Day 10.
SpamWise (Demosthenes, the Prosecutor!) - outnumbered, Day 10.

[Mr. Grey]

The Package

You are relaxing in your nice, comfortable, expensive chair, sipping your drink of choice, when there is a knock on the door. You don't want to get up to answer it; you are far too content. Eventually, curiosity wins out, and you drag yourself over to the door.

There is no one there. You look around outside, but it is too dark to see very far, and anyway there is no sound to indicate that there is anything to see. You curse the neighborhood children under your breath, and are about to turn back inside, when you glance down and notice a package. You look around again quickly, and then pick it up and bring it inside.

Attached to the package is a small envelope. You open it, and read the note inside.

Dear

CENSORED

,

You are cordially invited to attend a small gathering. Your host, Mr. Grey, will arrange for transportation and accommodation. Unfortunately, for security reasons, the location of this event can not be disclosed at this time. However, Mr. Grey would like to assure you it will be to your advantage to attend. A car will arrive tomorrow morning at 8:00. Please hold on to this invitation, and wear the enclosed mask when you answer the door.

Setting the note aside for the moment, you open the box. As suggested by the note, there is a mask inside. It looks as if it was molded specifically to fit your face. It is solid black, except for some letters on the forehead. You smile to yourself as you notice that these letters happen to correspond to an internet alias that you occasionally use.

Your smile quickly disappears when you look beneath the mask. There are several photographs, which look to have been taken by some sort of hidden camera. You are in them. You shouldn't be - you don't recognize the men and women in the pictures with you - but you know that if these pictures came out it could cause you a lot of trouble. They may be fake, but no one but you would be able to tell the difference. You see now what the invitation was referring to when it said it would be to your advantage to attend.

You have trouble sleeping, as your dreams bring to life the doctored photographs you received. You wake up early, and have no desire to return to your dreams, so you find yourself ready to go before 8. You pick up the mask you have been provided and put it on. It has straps which you connect behind your head with a metallic snap.

The door knocks. A stereotypical chauffeur greets you. He takes your luggage, and you follow him to the car. You try to make some small talk, but there is no response from the driver, so you soon give up and look out the window. You pay close attention to where you are being taken, but eventually you realize that you must be headed for the airport. You arrive there without further incident.

You are led through the airport security quickly, without even a second glance from the guards (though those waiting in line seem quite annoyed that you don't have to wait and they do). You are lead into a small room, where others wearing similar masks are also waiting. Before long, there are 21 of you that are wearing masks, and one that is not. It can't be the mysterious host, though, unless he has a very peculiar sense of humor. His outfit is entirely shades of green.

"I believe that is everyone? Yes? Good. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Mr. Green. I am Mr. Grey's assistant. I hope everyone had a pleasant ride to the airport. Unfortunately, it will be a little bit longer before our flight will be ready to leave. In the meantime, I hope you will take this opportunity to get to know each other a little bit better. Please, help yourselves to a drink, I will return when everything is ready."

[Mr. Grey]

The Plane

It is said that there is a lull in conversation every seven minutes. Or is it twenty? You aren't sure, and it doesn't matter anyway, because your sense of time is off. How long have you been standing in this room, with these strange, mask-wearing people? Is it still morning? The conversation has an almost dream-like quality. Some of the guests seem determined to have a good time, while others speak of things that are mysterious to you.

However long it has been, there is a lull in the conversation now. The silence is broken by the sound of the door opening, and once again Mr. Green steps through. He is wearing a smile which is disturbing in its sincerity. Seeing that he has everyone's attention, he begins to speak.

"Hello, we are nearly ready to fly. I trust you have had an enjoyable time getting to know everyone. I am disappointed to note that two of you have not engaged in the social aspect of this little gathering. I am sure that will change soon enough. Mr. Grey would like to add that, although you are invited guests, he must insist that you observe certain customs in your speech. He reminds you to take care in what you say, and in how you say it. After all, the words make the man, yes? Or woman, of course. Now, if you would follow me, we can be on our way shortly."

You follow Mr. Green back out into the airport terminal, and through a gate. It looks like an ordinary gate, but it is not staffed by airport personnel, and there is no wait in boarding the plane. You can see from the outside that this is a private plane, but only when you are inside do you see that Mr. Grey has spared no expense.

Mr. Green points you and the other guests to your seats.

"I must ask that you remain seated until the pilot turns off the 'Fasten-Seatbelt' light. Once we are in the air, feel free to make yourselves comfortable and resume your conversations."

He turns toward the cockpit, and then stops himself, adding cryptically:

"Oh, and please do not remove your masks. We would not want there to be any... accidents."

You stare at the back of his head as he walks off, wondering what he means by that. Before long, though, you are in the air, and the guests have drinks and cards in their hands once more.

[Mr. Grey]

The Crash

You look out the window in panic as the plane slowly starts to tilt. Drinks crash to the cabin floor and roll around, while the guests that are standing grab wildly for something to hold on to. Oxygen masks are falling from the ceiling, but most of the guests are too panicked to sit down and put them on. You are nearly too drunk to do so, but you manage to grab hold of yours, wondering briefly whether it will actually work while you're wearing the mask until you notice that it seems to be specifically designed to fit over the mask.

One of the other guests lurches forward toward the cockpit. It's locked. After some futile banging, the guest gives up. Others look for parachutes, or something to force open the door, but there is nothing. You are trapped in a cabin of death.

Someone screams, and then you black out.

****

You wake up slowly. Your vision is blurred, and you're not entirely certain that this is just a result of the light smoke filling the cabin. You look around, and it seems everyone else is in a similar state; there don't seem to be any serious injuries, however. The smoke is worrying, but it doesn't seem heavy enough to have been caused by a serious fire. You un-strap yourself from the seat, and, with some effort, get on your feet.

You are near an emergency exit, and thankfully it opens easily. The setting sun forces you to shield your eyes. You stumble out of the airplane, and the others follow. You walk far enough away from the plane to be safe, just in case it does suddenly explode, and then turn back to look.

The plane appears almost completely unharmed. The landing gear seems to have snapped off, but otherwise it has come to rest in the sand intact. You can see behind the plane, where it disturbed the beach, though now that you look closely it seems awfully convenient that you were able to land on the one patch of level sand around; not far away, the beach becomes jagged and rocky, and then there is no beach at all, only a cliff.

The group briefly discusses things. You are all stranded on an island, with no food other than what you can salvage from the airplane. You don't know what has happened to the pilot, or Mr. Green. The sun has set, though, and there is little to be done in the dark. You find a bit of sand a few meters away from the others, and fall asleep.

****

The sun is rising, but most of the group is sleeping soundly when there is a scream. Soon, everyone is wide awake. One of the party is standing near one of the others. Unlike the rest of the group, this one is not moving. Someone speaks quietly.

"Phoebus. We hardly knew thee."

The sand around Phoebus is red with blood. It appears he has been beaten, stabbed, shot, possibly even poisoned (though how the latter is noticeable, no one can say). One of the group leans over him to remove his mask.

"I'd not do that, if I were you."

Everyone turns away from the body, toward the new voice. Standing there is a woman dressed in blue.

"It is good to see that you are all well. Well, most of you."

Someone reaches for the mask again, either forgetting what Ms. Blue has said, or ignoring it.

"Don't take that off. He's not dead yet. He will be soon. But if you take it off, you will be too."

The hand pulls away from the mask.

"Hi. My name is Ms. Blue. Mr. Grey has sent me to meet you and give you a rule or two."

There is an angry reaction to this. Several of the group step forward, as if finally realizing that a group of twenty is more than a match for a lone woman. Ms. Blue frowns, and pulls a device out of her pocket. She pushes a button on it. With a jerk, everyone stops moving. A few, carried by momentum, fall over clumsily.

"That is more like it. You will hear what I have to say."

She presses a button again, and everyone can move again. Some eye her warily, but there is no move toward her this time.

"Now then. I am here to tell you that some with you want to kill the rest. It is a game, you see. For all the marb... well, you know how it goes. How you deal with them is up to you. But... know that none of you will go home 'til some of you are dead."

Finished, she turns to walk away. There is a groan, though, and along with the rest of you she turns toward Phoebus, who is apparently still clinging to life.

"I told you he was not dead."

Phoebus lifts his head, and says,

"Ra Ra... Raspu... tin, Russia's... greatest love ma... chine..."

Ms. Blue pushes a button. The mask explodes, along with the head of "Phoebus".

"Just stay dead this time, will you?"

Ms. Blue walks off from the party, holding the device in her hand as if to warn everyone not to follow.

****

The group is considering the words of Ms. Blue, and is nearly ready to act on them. But first, they gather around their now dead companion. Written in the sand above where his head should be is:

Here lies Rasputin,
They didn't quit,
They wanted his head.

Phoebus (Grigori Yefimovich Rasputin, the Token Corpse!) is dead.

20 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 1, Nomination Phase. The deadline for Nominations is Tuesday, March 7, 8pm GMT.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Kelly Chen: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, SpamWise)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (Kelly Chen, VitaminR)
Commodore Amazing: 2 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen)
Fritzler: 2 (Kelly Chen, mathcam)

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

mikeburnfire: 6 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, LoudmouthLee, Turbovolver)
Kelly Chen: 5 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, SpamWise, Thok)
DrippingGoofball: 3 (Fiasco, petroleumjelly, VitaminR)
Fritzler: 3 (Fiasco, Kelly Chen, mathcam)
Adele: 2 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco)
Commodore Amazing: 2 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen)
mathcam: 2 (SpamWise, Turbovolver)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Turbovolver)

Mod Note:

A reminder that Nominations should come at the end of posts. This is for our convenience in keeping accurate counts.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

mikeburnfire: 7 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz, Turbovolver)
DrippingGoofball: 5 (Cogito Ergo Sum, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Kelly Chen: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, SpamWise, Thok)
Fritzler: 3 (Fiasco, Kelly Chen, mathcam)
Adele: 2 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco)
Commodore Amazing: 2 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen)
mathcam: 2 (SpamWise, Tamuz)
Tamuz: 2 (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee)
Turbovolver: 2 (LoudmouthLee, mikeburnfire)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Turbovolver)
petroleumjelly: 1 (the silent speaker)
the silent speaker: 1 (Turbovolver)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)

Mod Note:

A further reminder. All Nominations should be placed at the end of posts. No tags are allowed except for italics, and bold for Nominations. Please read the rules if you are unclear on anything.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Seol has not posted in the first real-time "day" of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

LoudmouthLee, SpamWise, the silent speaker, and Werebear have not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Kelly Chen: 5 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fritzler, SpamWise, Thok)
Fritzler: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Kelly Chen, mathcam, petroleumjelly)
mikeburnfire: 4 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 3 (DrippingGoofball, mathcam, PookyTheMagicalBear)
mathcam: 3 (Seol, SpamWise, Turbovolver)
Adele: 2 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco)
Commodore Amazing: 2 (Kelly Chen, Seol)
Seol: 2 (Adele, Fiasco)
Tamuz: 2 (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee)
Turbovolver: 2 (LoudmouthLee, mikeburnfire)
Fiasco: 1 (Adele)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Turbovolver)
petroleumjelly: 1 (the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
the silent speaker: 1 (Turbovolver)
Thok: 1 (Adele)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)
Werebear: 1 (Tamuz)

Mod Note:

The Nomination Phase ends in approximately 24 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 5 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Tamuz, Thok)
Fritzler: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Kelly Chen, mathcam, petroleumjelly)
Kelly Chen: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fritzler, Thok)
mikeburnfire: 4 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz)
Turbovolver: 4 (Commodore Amazing, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, mikeburnfire)
Adele: 3 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, SpamWise)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 3 (DrippingGoofball, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise)
mathcam: 3 (Seol, Turbovolver, VitaminR)
Tamuz: 3 (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee, VitaminR)
Commodore Amazing: 2 (Kelly Chen, Seol)
Seol: 2 (Adele, Fiasco)
Fiasco: 1 (Adele)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Turbovolver)
petroleumjelly: 1 (the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
the silent speaker: 1 (Turbovolver)
Thok: 1 (Adele)
Werebear: 1 (Tamuz)

Mod Note:

The Nomination Phase ends in approximately 4.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 4 (Fritzler, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok)
Fritzler: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Kelly Chen, mathcam, petroleumjelly)
Kelly Chen: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fritzler, Thok)
mikeburnfire: 4 (Fritzler, Kelly Chen, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz)
Turbovolver: 4 (Commodore Amazing, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, mikeburnfire)
Adele: 4 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, SpamWise, petroleum jelly)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 4 (DrippingGoofball, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise, Kelly Chen)
mathcam: 4 (Seol, Turbovolver, VitaminR, Adele)
Tamuz: 4 (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee, VitaminR, Adele)

VitaminR: 3 (mathcam, Tamuz, Thok)
Commodore Amazing: 3 (Seol, petroleum jelly, Adele)
Seol: 1 (Fiasco)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Turbovolver)
petroleumjelly: 1 (the silent speaker)
the silent speaker: 1 (Turbovolver)
Werebear: 1 (Tamuz)
Pookythemagicalbear: 1 (Dripping Goofball)

[Mr. Grey]

The Cloud

The sun is high in the sky, and the group has reached the time decided on to end nominations. No one can really remember any longer how that decision was reached. It was made in the wake of the first death on the island, and the long discussion in the heat of day has clouded things. Some in the group suspect that Mr. Grey has somehow brainwashed them into this particular course of action, but it doesn't matter if he has. Whoever was ultimately responsible for the murder, there are clearly guests with violent intentions.

After one last count, those chosen as candidates for lynching stand apart from the rest of the group. Some fidget nervously, as though they might bolt at any moment; the rest look around suspiciously, thinking similar thoughts but knowing that there is nowhere to run, and that Ms. Blue may prevent them from trying. There is a momentary silence, and as if on cue, a cloud passes across the sun. The group can no longer avoid the realization that they will soon be voting to have someone killed. Some person, perhaps completely innocent, may die. Some of the group feel bad about this prospect. But only some.

Soon, talks begin anew. The day won't last forever, after all.

And on a hill not far away, a shadowy figure watches.

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Dripping Goofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mikeburnfire, Turbovolver, Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, mathcam, Tamuz.
11 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Friday, 8pm GMT) to lynch.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

11 to lynch.

Turbovolver: 3 (Fiasco, Kelly Chen, PookyTheMagicalBear)
Adele: 2 (DrippingGoofball, Tamuz)
Fritzler: 1 (petroleumjelly)
Kelly Chen: 1 (Thok)
Tamuz: 1 (Fritzler)

Players Nominated: Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, Turbovolver

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing has not posted in the fourth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

11 to lynch.

DrippingGoofball: 5 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, Seol, Thok)
Fritzler: 4 (mathcam, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Tamuz)
Turbovolver: 3 (Fiasco, Kelly Chen, PookyTheMagicalBear)
Adele: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball)
mathcam: 1 (VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, Turbovolver

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

LoudmouthLee and Seol have not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

11 to lynch.

Turbovolver: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Kelly Chen, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise, Tamuz, VitaminR)
DrippingGoofball: 4 (Adele, Fritzler, Seol, Thok)
Fritzler: 3 (mathcam, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Adele: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
mathcam: 1 (Turbovolver)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, Turbovolver

Mod Note:

The end of Day is in approximately 11 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

11 to lynch.

Turbovolver: 12 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok, Turbovolver, VitaminR)
Adele: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball)
Fritzler: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
DrippingGoofball: 1 (Adele)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, Turbovolver

Mod Note:

The end of Day is in approximately 2.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

11 to lynch.

Turbovolver: 13 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Fritzler, Kelly Chen, mathcam, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok, Turbovolver, VitaminR)

Adele: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball)
Fritzler: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)

Mod Note:

petroleumjelly has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

The Conviction

The sun is slowly setting over the horizon, but there is no rush as far as the guests are concerned. The decision has been made, and there is nothing left to do but wait until the appointed time. Turbovolver is already standing with his neck in the noose, silently waiting for death.

A curious reader may wonder what the noose is attached to. Upon discovering that the end of the rope is tied to a lone oak tree in the middle of the beach, the reader might then ask why there is a tree growing in the middle of a beach, and why this possibly important fact has not been mentioned sooner. It is politely suggested that the reader stop asking such questions. These are the deeper mysteries of life, and it is quite likely that knowing the answers would cause the reader to go insane.

Predictably, as the time approaches, Ms. Blue arrives to watch the proceedings. It is almost as though some other-wordly force is guiding her to where she is supposed to be at exactly the right time. That's silly, of course, and the reader is assured that her appearance is simply due to a highly accurate timepiece, which has been passed down from generation to generation in the Blue family.

"I see that you have made up your mind. Soon you will kill this one, and then we will see what we will see."

Ignoring her, the guests gather around Turbovolver. The time has come, and they await his final words. He has made his last speech, however, and simply turns to face Mecca. One of the guests kicks the stand from under his feet, and soon Turbovolver has breathed his last.

The guests cut him down. Someone goes to remove his mask, but then thinks better of it. The guests turn expectantly to Ms. Blue.

"Must I do it all on my own?"

Ms. Blue walks over to the body, and removes the dead man's mask. The face revealed is, as he claimed, that of Malcolm X. Ms. Blue smiles, and begins to walk away, but the mob shouts out, wanting to know whether he was a killer. Ms. Blue turns back to answer.

"He was not one to kill any of you. He was good. Now, it is time for you to rest."

With that, Ms. Blue disappeared into the darkness; a darkness not caused by the absence of the sun, but by the eyeholes of the masks which now closed at the press of another button.

****

In spite of their fears, most of the guests have fallen asleep in the enforced darkness. Even those that are awake soon lose track of the time, and so no one is sure when the singing starts.

"I never wanted to do this job in the first place!
I... I wanted to be...

A LUMBERJACK!"

A piano starts playing, mysteriously. All the guests are sitting up, their heads moving back and forth trying to track the noise.

"Leaping from tree to tree! As they float down the mighty rivers of
British Columbia! With my best girl by my side!
The Larch!
The Pine!
The Giant Redwood tree!
The Sequoia!
The Little Whopping Rule Tree!
We'd sing! Sing! Sing!

Oh, I'm a lumberjack, and I'm okay,
I sleep all night and I work all day."

More voices join in as a chorus.

"He's a lumberjack, and he's okay,
He sleeps all night and he works all day."

"I cut down trees, I eat my lunch,
I go to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays I go shoppin'
And have buttered scones for tea."

"He cuts down trees, he eats his lunch,
He goes to the lava-try.
On Wednesdays 'e goes shoppin'
And has buttered scones for tea."

Suddenly the voices cut off. There is a momentary silence. And then, this time coming from somewhere in the masks, another voice appears.

"Big Brother house, Big Brother can now reveal the results of today's task. The house has received two failures, and have therefore failed the task."

This voice too is cut off. The guests try to return to sleep, determined that Mr. Grey is messing with their minds.

****

Turbovolver (El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, the Token Character!) is dead.

19 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 1. The deadline for Night is Monday, March 13, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 1, you have been sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Ship

As the moon cast a shimmering reflection on the slowly rocking sea, as the mob fell into an inforced slumber, silence sets in on the mysterious island of Mr. Grey. Yet, this silence does not last, as not long after the group loses consciousness, there comes a mighty ship to the shores. It is, as the clever reader may anticipate, none other than the pirate Blackbeard. For in an unrelated adventure which is unfortunately too long too tell, and so thrilling that it may make this tale seem a poor one in comparison, the pirate had received a map of this very island, showing where might be found treasure of unmentionable value.

Now, Blackbeard steps ashore with some of his crew, eager to lay his hands on this rich bounty. Following the map carefully, he soon comes upon the twentyone, all asleep but some moreso than others. His crew draw swords, knives, and pistols, but he motions for them to wait, looking closely at the figures lying on the beach. He stands over the recently deceased body.

"Avast, me hearties! Yar! Aye, matey, here it is. X marks the spot, it says. Shiver me timbers!"

After a chorus of "Aye aye, Captain!" from the crew, the pirates set to the work of digging for buried dubloons.

****

Precisely at sunrise, the eyes of the masks the guests are forced to wear open. The sudden light wakes most quickly, with half-hearted complaints about being woken so abruptly. The sun rising over the sea is a beautiful sight to behold, however, and the guests are somewhat placated by this. Before too long, however, they notice two things. First, they notice that the body of Malcolm X has been moved, and in its place is a rather large hole, which appears to have been dug in the middle of the night. Second, they notice the ship. It is not too large a leap to conclude that the hole has been dug by the occupants of the ship.

As the guests all come to this realization, they fail to notice that they are only eighteen in number.

A figure approaches from the ship.

"Arrr! Greetings, ye land lubbers! I be Captain Blackbeard. Ahoy! I've been tricked into sailing with my fearsome crew to this island, which doesn't have one single dubloon on it, whatever this map says. I be told that one of ye may yet walk the plank today, aye, so I'll stay a bit longer."

Blackbeard's introduction is cut off by a loud voice. It appears to be coming from the pirate's hole.

"I have sinned, oh Lord! I must have fallen short of Your infinite glory to have been cast away on this God-forsaken place. Have mercy, Lord, though You are an angry God, lest I burn in the fires of hell!"

The guests turn back to Blackbeard, who shrugs and says "Arrr!" a bit more, and then walk over to look in the pit.

"I am doomed to an eternity of flames and burning and flaming burns! I may as well start now."

And with that, Kelly Chen sets himself on fire.

****

Numbly, the guests gather in a circle once more to discuss the events on the island thus far. They have identified the now deceased Kelly Chen from his charred remains, and find him to be another innocent, who has inexplicably taken his own life. As some of the guests rub the last remnants of sleep from their eyes, the day's discussion begins.

Kelly Chen (Jonathan Edwards, the Preacher!) is dead.

18 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 2. The deadline for Nominations is Thursday, March 16, 8pm GMT.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 8 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
VitaminR: 8 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol)
LoudmouthLee: 2 (PookyTheMagicalBear, the silent speaker)
SpamWise: 2 (Commodore Amazing, the silent speaker)
Werebear: 2 (Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear)
Adele: 1 (Commodore Amazing)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
Commodore Amazing: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Fritzler: 1 (petroleumjelly)
mathcam: 1 (VitaminR)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)
petroleumjelly: 1 (Commodore Amazing)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
Seol: 1 (PookyTheMagicalBear)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Cogito Ergo Sum and SpamWise have not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

Self-nominations are not allowed (and should not have been included in the last count).

It will be assumed that players posting three nominations in the same post without unnominations are implying any relevant unnominations. However, for any other cases of a player nominating too many without unvoting, the last nomination will be ignored for the purpose of counts (the player will be notified, and because of the posting requirements this should not be a major factor in the outcome of the nomination phase). In the voting phase, unvotes are recommended for our convenience and easier reading, but will be assumed if a new vote is placed without an unvote.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 8 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
VitaminR: 8 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
Adele: 3 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
Fritzler: 3 (Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Tamuz)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
LoudmouthLee: 2 (the silent speaker, Werebear)
mathcam: 2 (Thok, VitaminR)
mikeburnfire: 2 (LoudmouthLee, the silent speaker)
petroleumjelly: 2 (Commodore Amazing, SpamWise)
SpamWise: 2(Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire)
Werebear: 2 (Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear)
Commodore Amazing: 1 (mikeburnfire)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
Seol: 1 (PookyTheMagicalBear)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
the silent spaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 7 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
VitaminR: 5 (Adele, Fritzler, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Tamuz)
Adele: 4 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, LoudmouthLee, SpamWise)
LoudmouthLee: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, the silent speaker, Werebear)
mathcam: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Thok, VitaminR)
Commodore Amazing: 3 (Adele, LoudmouthLee, mikeburnfire)
Fritzler: 3 (Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Tamuz)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
petroleumjelly: 2 (Commodore Amazing, SpamWise)
SpamWise: 2 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire)
Werebear: 2 (Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
Seol: 1 (PookyTheMagicalBear)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Mod Note:

Deadline for Nominations is in approximately 2 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

DrippingGoofball: 6 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
VitaminR: 6 (Adele, Fritzler, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Tamuz, Thok)
Adele: 4 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, LoudmouthLee, SpamWise)
Commodore Amazing: 4 (Adele, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mikeburnfire)
Fritzler: 4 (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, Tamuz)
LoudmouthLee: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, the silent speaker, Werebear)
mathcam: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, Thok, VitaminR)

Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
petroleumjelly: 2 (Commodore Amazing, SpamWise)
SpamWise: 2 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire)
mikeburnfire: 1 (the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)
Seol: 1 (PookyTheMagicalBear)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Werebear: 1 (PookyTheMagicalBear)

[Mr. Grey]

The Score

It is again nearing mid-day, and the nominations are being tallied by the guests. As they make counts in the sand, there is a commotion on the pirate ship. The guests turn toward the ship just in time to see one of the crew thrown overboard. The pirate splashes around in the water for a bit while the others laugh. Blackbeard comes down to explain.

"Arr! Thar be the seadog who be betting against the Pirates of Seton Hall. My bracket be ruined by those Wichita State land lubbers."

"Sheets of Integrity! Squak!"

Blackbeard pulls out a pistol and blows his parrot's brains out.

"I do be looking forward to making someone walk the plank before the day be over. And a bottle of rum!"

The confused castaways watch in a stunned silence as the pirate captain walks away, and then return to the matter of choosing someone to die.

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR.
10 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Monday, 8pm GMT) to lynch.

mathcam has not posted in the third real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 3 (LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Tamuz)
mathcam: 1 (VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Seol and Thok have not posted in the fourth real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 5 (DrippingGoofball, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, SpamWise)
DrippingGoofball: 3 (Adele, Fiasco, PookyTheMagicalBear)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Tamuz)
mathcam: 1 (VitaminR)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)

Players Nominated: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 8 (DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR)
DrippingGoofball: 5 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, PookyTheMagicalBear)
LoudmouthLee: 1 (Tamuz)

Players Nominated: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing and LoudmouthLee have not posted in the fifth real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

Seol has not posted in the fifth real-time "day" of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

Day ends in approximately 24 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 10 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR)
DrippingGoofball: 5 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, PookyTheMagicalBear)

Players Nominated: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 8.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 12 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 5 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, PookyTheMagicalBear)

Players Nominated: Adele, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 2.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

10 to lynch.

Adele: 12 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, mathcam, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear)

DrippingGoofball: 5 (Adele, Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, PookyTheMagicalBear)

Mod Note:

the silent speaker has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

The Splash

The mood is somber in the makeshift camp as once more the guests have decided on one of their number to kill. The mood on the pirate ship is not so somber, as the crew has been drinking rum since early in the afternoon. The guests have somehow not noticed the singing, being preoccupied with their task of "doing unto others before they do unto you", but with the decision made they now listen to the rowdy sailors.

Unfortunately for the reader (or fortunately, depending on one's taste in music), the lyrical stylings of these particular pirates do not translate well to the written word. The reader will have to make do with his or her imagination. Said imagination is likely far more witty and humorous than anything that might appear here anyway.

Abruptly, the singing stops. It is time. Blackbeard motions for the guests to bring their choice, the one wearing the mask labeled "Adele".

"Aye, ye've chosen this land lubber to walk the plank. 'twill brighten this old sea dog's day. Gar!"

Adele is bound, blindfolded, and led to the side of the ship. The other guests watch as a board is set out from the boat, not over the deep (since the ship is parked on the island's shore) but over a conveniently dangerous bit of sharp rock.

"Ahoy! Any last words before ye visit Davy Jones' Locker?"

Adele turns, perhaps to face Blackbeard, or perhaps looking through the blindfold, through the captain, to address the mysterious Mr. Grey himself.

"You strip from me the laurel and the rose!
Take all! Despite you there is yet one thing
I hold against you all, and when, to-night,
I enter Christ's fair courts, and, lowly bowed,
Sweep with doffed casque the heavens' threshold blue,
One thing is left, that, void of stain or smutch,
I bear away despite you."

"Arr?"

"My panache."

"Aye, but that's just Polly sitting on your head."

"There's a bird on my head? Get it off! Aaah..."

And so, Adele falls off the plank and to her... no, his... death, his blood splashing on the rocks.

"Aye, 'twas a fitting end to Talk Like a Pirate Day. Let's get out of here, boys, I need to get back in time to shave or the wife will yell at me."

As "Blackbeard" and crew sail off, the guests gather the body and carefully remove the mask, surprised to notice for the first time the way the mask protrudes in the nose area (or rather, surprised that it is the first time they have noticed this). Realizing they have made another horrible mistake, they quickly bury their departed brother-in-captivity, before an enforced sleep once again sets in.

****

Adele (Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac, the Poet!) is dead.

17 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 2. The deadline for Night is Monday, March 22, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 2, you have been sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Message

"Morning report, location as before. I received information leading to a small encampment of what I can only assume are natives. They wear strange masks and the freshly broken earth indicates some form of ritual sacrifice. I have not, as yet, been spotted. X has outdone himself with this new camouflage; who in their right bloody mind would come up with the idea of hiding by dressing entirely in the colour orange? The human mind can not comprehend such a thing, and thus I remain hidden from their view, and thus I can continue to observe freely.

"I have been led to believe that the target of this mission will present himself... or herself, as the case may be... from among these savages. How this is possible, I do not know, but perhaps the rituals I observed yesterday might yield a result today.

"Even last night, there was another death. One of the masked men (which, I cannot say from my vantage point) awoke suddenly, and began talking in his sleep. The poor fool started walking toward the sea, and stood there in the water talking until he drowned himself. I might have taken action to prevent this unfortunate event, but even with my cunning disguise it may have tipped my target to my presence.

"The sun is breaking over the horizon, and the tribe is beginning to stir. I will continue my observations and report back. Agent Orange out."

****

M reads the message one last time before setting it alight. She lets out a sigh.

"What a moron. He had better not screw this mission up."

****

A man, or rather the ghost of a man, stands a few meters from the water, which occasionally laps up to pass through his feet. He sees his body lying face down nearby. The ghost no longer wears the mask that still sits on his corpse, a mask which bears the name "mathcam".

He senses a presence behind him. Without turning, he knows who (or what?) it is.

YES, IT IS ME.

"It's not like me, this, you know, I'm not one to give up in a situation without a fight and I don't know why I've done so now, sleepwalking and sleeptalking or no, it just seems wrong somehow, not the way I wanted to go at all, you know?"

EVERYONE HAS TO GO SOMEHOW. NOW THEN.

"Sorry, could I just say one more thing, you don't mind do you, I've just got this idea that I need fitting last words even thought no one but you is here to hear them, not that you don't count, mind, but you're not exactly human are you, so you understand what I mean, but as I was saying it seems to me that I should go out as I've lived, with a bit of a speech, is that alright?"

YOU MAY HAVE YOUR FINAL SPEECH. THEN WE WILL GO. I HAVE OTHER BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

"Yes, well, I'll just talk until I'm finished, that's what I always try to do, you can't stop talking before you're finished, or else you wouldn't be finished, right, and you can't keep talking after you're finished, except in the sense that I'm finished with life but talking after, but that's a different sense from the one I mean of course, and by the way I'm glad that even as a ghost I appear to have ghostly clothing, otherwise I would look quite silly, though who would notice but you anyway, I'd just feel a bit self-conscious is all, but it's awfully convenient that I have these ghostly clothes, just as they were before I died, and with them my trusty companion which I always carry with me, and from which I would like to read a passage if you don't mind terribly, one of my favorites, really, so here I go, I'll start at the beginning, because I think that's always the best place to start, it would be a bit peculiar to start at the middle, or at the end, unless one was involved in one of those artsy movies which confuse everyone, and I'm scatter-brained enough as it is, so here we'll start with A, a good start I think, it's the first letter of the alphabet after all, and a fine word to use when referring to a generic object, like I just said 'a fine word' there, because there are many fine words and I could be talking about any of them, except of course I am talking about A since we have the context of the conversation to go by, I just don't want there to be any confusion in what I'm saying, now my book here it says that it can also denote number, amount, quantity, or degree, or before a noun to denote a type or member, or it can mean something is the same, or any of a thing, and of course it can appear as a prefix to change the meaning to the opposite, like in 'amoral', or in other cases it can add a meaning of being on, or in the act of, or in the direction of, or in a certain condition or state, and there's lots of ways it is used as an abbreviation, now I'll just list a few because I don't want to take up too much of your time, but there's..."

****

mathcam (Huey Pierce Long, the Filibuster...er!) is dead.

16 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 3. The deadline for Nominations is Sunday, March 26, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

petroleumjelly and Seol are automatically on the "lynching block", and therefore do not need to be Nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Cogito Ergo Sum: 10 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear)
LoudmouthLee: 7 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz)
DrippingGoofball: 3 (Fiasco, Fritzler, Seol)
Thok: 2 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly)
Fritzler: 1 (petroleumjelly)
mikeburnfire: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
SpamWise: 1 (Commodore Amazing)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)

petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

LoudmouthLee: 8 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 7 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz, Thok, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 4 (Fiasco, Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Seol, VitaminR)
SpamWise: 2 (Commodore Amazing, the silent speaker)
Thok: 2 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly)
Fritzler: 1 (petroleumjelly)
mikeburnfire: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)

petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Tamuz has not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

LoudmouthLee: 9 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 6 (Fiasco, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Tamuz, Thok, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 4 (Fiasco, Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Seol, VitaminR)
Fritzler: 2 (petroleumjelly, SpamWise)
Fiasco: 1 (SpamWise)
mikeburnfire: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
SpamWise: 1 (the silent speaker)
Thok: 1 (petroleumjelly)
VitaminR: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)
Werebear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)

petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

LoudmouthLee: 8 (DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 4 (Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Thok, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 4 (Fiasco, Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol)
Fritzler: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, the silent speaker)
Fiasco: 2 (SpamWise, the silent speaker)
mikeburnfire: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
Thok: 1 (petroleumjelly)
Werebear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)

petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic

Mod Note:

Deadline for Nominations is in approximately 5 hours (GMT being unaffected by daylight savings time). Remember that petroleumjelly and Seol are automatically on the "lynching block"; Nominations for them were not counted.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

LoudmouthLee: 8 (DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, Tamuz, Thok)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 4 (Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Thok, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 4 (Fiasco, Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol)
Fritzler: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, the silent speaker, PookyTheMagicalBear)

Fiasco: 2 (SpamWise, the silent speaker)
mikeburnfire: 1 (LoudmouthLee)
Thok: 1 (petroleumjelly)
Werebear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)

petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

The Mask

Unseen by the guests, in spite of his incredibly loud outfit, Agent Orange watches as they decide on a handful that may be killed. Agent Orange looks them over closely, knowing that the target of his mission is among them. He can barely tell them apart. He knows that he could just look down, he might be able to use some clues from the way they are dressed to deduce their secret identities, but the masks they are wear have some sort of power, drawing his attention.

He finally gives up and has his tea.

****

"...and just what is an aardvark anyway, and how is it different from an aardwolf, I mean there's wolves as well so is an aardwolf a type of wolf and if so what type and does that mean an aardvark is a type of vark, there are all questions I ask myself daily, it's a whole meaning of life thing, looking at the meanings of terms for different types of life, and that's what I'm trying to get at with this little speech, since the meaning of life is pretty important at the end of it all, if there's no meaning, that's pretty bleak isn't it, perhaps by the end of this speech I'll have figured out the whole meaning thing and you won't have to tell me, it's more fun when you figure things out for yourself I think, it's like a puzzle, you can stare at it and stare at it and the answer may not come to you but if you give up then it's no fun anymore, you can't unlearn the answer and figure it out later, but if you figure it out on your own it's a great feeling, so I figure figuring out the biggest puzzle of them all has got to be the best feeling in the world, right, so anyway, where was I, oh yeah, aardwolf, do you think they're related to aardvarks, because otherwise it seems a bit silly calling them such similar names, not that aardvark and aardwolf aren't silly names to begin with, I mean the only sillier name I can think of is aasvogel just down the page here, but we'll come to that in a moment, shouldn't be long now..."

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR.
9 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Wednesday, 8pm GMT).

Fritzler, Seol, and Werebear have not posted in the third real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Thok did not post in the fourth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

Fritzler and Werebear have not posted in the fourth real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 4 (DrippingGoofball, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Seol: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Seol, VitaminR)
DrippingGoofball: 1 (Fiasco)
Fritzler: 1 (SpamWise)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 4 (DrippingGoofball, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Fritzler, Seol, VitaminR)
Seol: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 1 (Fiasco)
Fritzler: 1 (SpamWise)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 4 (DrippingGoofball, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Seol: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Seol, VitaminR)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (Fritzler, Werebear)
DrippingGoofball: 1 (Fiasco)
Fritzler: 1 (SpamWise)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 5 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly, Seol, the silent speaker, Thok)
Seol: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (Fritzler, Werebear)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 2 (Commodore Amazing, VitaminR)
DrippingGoofball: 1 (Fiasco)
Fritzler: 1 (SpamWise)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 12 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 6 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok)
Seol: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, LoudmouthLee, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, VitaminR)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 2 (Fritzler, Werebear)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 2.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 10 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 3 (Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Werebear)
Seol: 2 (PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz)

Players Nominated: Cogito Ergo Sum, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, Seol, VitaminR

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 20 minutes.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

9 to lynch.

LoudmouthLee: 10 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)

Cogito Ergo Sum: 3 (Fritzler, LoudmouthLee, Werebear)
Seol: 2 (PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz)

Mod Note:

PookyTheMagicalBear has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used his "miss".

Tamuz has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

The Mission

"Evening report, location as before. The savages have been ranting at each other incessantly in their strange dialect. I began to think that it would never end, but finally their gesturing began to focus on one of their number. I am watching him closely. His mask reads 'LoudmouthLee'. I don't know why the target would wear such a mask, even to hide among these islanders; it's not his style. I must be getting to him, for him to act in such a desperate way.

It is time to make my move. I may not make it out alive, and though of course no one will ever know it, I just want to say what an honour it has been to serve my country in this capacity. Agent Orange out."

****

As the guests reach a verdict, LoudmouthLee is standing alone, ready to make one final plea. Suddenly, an orange figure screams:

"I have you now!"

From the orange mass, a shot rings out. LoudmouthLee stands, his loud mouth open in shock, holding his hand over a wound which is gushing blood. Before he can say anything, he collapses to the sand.

Agent Orange rushes over to the body before the other guests can respond and pulls off the mask. He lets out a despairing scream.

"Curses! Foiled again!"

He shakes his fist to the sky.

"I'll get you next time, Fernando Poo! You'll not escape me forever!"

And just quickly as he appeared, Agent Orange vanishes again. The guests think they may see a blur of orange streaking across the sky, but decide they're just seeing things, and go sleep, after taking one last look at the face of their latest victim.

****

"...I'd never heard of an aba, myself, I just keep thinking of ABBA, didn't they do a song called 'Fernando', I don't know why that popped into my head just now but anyway, abba also means father I think, but now we're really getting off topic here, the point is, there's all sorts of weird words that I've never heard of in this book, and let me tell you something, I've said a lot of words in my time, this aba thing really gets on my nerves, why can't they just call it what it is, a sleeveless garment worn by Arabs, that's simple enough I think, and everyone knows what you're talking about, you don't get confused with singing groups or fathers or anything like that, ok, so it's not a palindrome, but who has time for palindromes in this dog eat dog world anyway, I mean..."

The Pope formerly known as LoudmouthLee interrupts the speech, clearing his throat. The tall imposing figure that is Death turns toward him with the sound of creaking bones.

WE MAY BE HERE A WHILE.

The newly dead guest shrugs, hops in a metaphysical pope-mobile, and begins driving circles around the filibusterer to pass the time.

"As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted..."

****

"This is Big Brother. Would the Lumberjack please come to the diary room."

****

"Lumberjack, how are you getting along with the other housemates?"

"I sleep all night, and I work all day."

"Do you feel you are being treated unfairly?"

"I wish I'd been a girlie..."

****

LoudmouthLee (Alexander VI, the Controversial Pope!) is dead.

15 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 3. The deadline for Night is Friday, March 31, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 3, you have been sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Road

The guests regain consciousness slowly as the masks open to reveal a dazzling sunrise. Orange streaks across the water remind of the strange events of the previous night; there is some doubt that these events even happened, or even that anything on this island is real. As the guests become more aware, however, they rise and glance around, each counting to see if they have lost someone else during the night.

This morning, they haven't lost anyone; they have instead gained yet another random guy with no mask. One guest opens his mouth to ask who this latest intruder is, but he answers before the guest can get a word out, anticipating the question.

"They call me... Mellow Yellow."

****

The producer of this narrative would like to inform you that the writer has been sacked for such an awful ploy to get another color-named NPC involved.

Unfortunately, said producer

is

the writer, and therefore has let himself off with a stern scolding.

We apologize for the inconvenience, and ask that you ignore the painfully bad reference used.

****

The director of this narrative has given himself (and therefore the producer, writer, choreographer, and most of the rest of the creative team) a piece of his mind for making an overused Monty Python reference. Twice. It won't happen again, for at least another day or two.

****

"Yes, you are all alive. Congratulations. Now, follow me."

The guests look confused at this unnamed - yes, unnamed, he never gave his name, and we're not going to say any more about it - man. Behind him, for the first time, they notice a road. It's not just any road, it's a brick road of a certain color which reminds of a certain movie and practically begs to be followed. The man starts down it, and the guests collectively shrug. They decide they can discuss their next move as they walk, and the walking will break up the tedium of the island. It might even lead somewhere; the wait plot devices appear in this place, anything is possible.

****

No one (No One, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

15 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 4. The deadline for Nominations is Tuesday, April 4, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, and Tamuz are automatically on the "lynching block", and therefore do not need to be Nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 1 (DrippingGoofball)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
DrippingGoofball: Automatic
Fritzler: Automatic
petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing and Werebear have not posted in the first real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

VitaminR: 5 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Fiasco: 4 (DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, Thok, VitaminR)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 3 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Thok)
Thok: 2 (petroleumjelly, VitaminR)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Fiasco)
Werebear: 1 (petroleumjelly)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
DrippingGoofball: Automatic
Fritzler: Automatic
petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Thok: 5 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 5 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker, Thok)
Fiasco: 4 (Fritzler, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 3 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly, Seol)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Fiasco)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 1 (DrippingGoofball)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
DrippingGoofball: Automatic
Fritzler: Automatic
petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic

Mod Note:

Cogito Ergo Sum, Fritzler, and Tamuz have not posted in the second real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Thok: 7 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 6 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker, Thok)
Fiasco: 4 (Fritzler, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 3 (DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly, Seol)
PookyTheMagicalBear: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Fiasco)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
DrippingGoofball: Automatic
Fritzler: Automatic
petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic

Mod Note:

The Nomination phase ends in approximately 3 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

Thok: 8 (DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 6 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker, Thok)
Fiasco: 4 (Fritzler, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (DrippingGoofball, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol)

PookyTheMagicalBear: 2 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Fiasco)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
DrippingGoofball: Automatic
Fritzler: Automatic
petroleumjelly: Automatic
Seol: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

The Rainforest

Our intrepid guests follow their "tour guide" along the strangely colored road, arguing all the way. Before long, it is the hottest part of the day, and looking around they see that they are in the middle of a rainforest which seems to be undisturbed by man other than the road they are following. Birds and insect make various noises unseen in the foliage. Nothing more dangerous is seen... yet.

"Are we there yet?"

The unnamed leader of the trek turns around. Unable to determine who spoke (and perhaps in the heat whoever it was is unaware as well), he addresses the whole group.

"There where? Who said we were going anywhere in particular?"

A few groans and a quick tally to determine who is in danger of being killed today, and the group sets off once more.

****

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear.
8 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Friday, 8pm GMT).

Fiasco and PookyTheMagicalBear have not posted in the third real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

VitaminR: 6 (Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fritzler, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

VitaminR: 4 (Fritzler, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok)
Seol: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, PookyTheMagicalBear)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing and Werebear have not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

VitaminR: 4 (Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Seol: 1 (Commodore Amazing)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 21.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

VitaminR: 3 (Fritzler, PookyTheMagicalBear, the silent speaker)
Fiasco: 2 (DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Seol: 1 (Commodore Amazing)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, Fritzler, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 6 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

"I am the wisest man alive, for I know one thing, and that is that I know nothing."

With that, the wearer of the "Fritzler" mask produces a cup of hemlock from some hidden place and drinks it.

"The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways -- I to die and you to live. Which is the better, only God knows."

Near the path, the group notices for the first time that a tree has fallen, not by natural means, but cleanly cut as if by a lumberjack. Fritzler stumbles toward it, and as he breathes his last, falls symbolicly on the tree stump.

****

Fritzler (Σωκράτης, the Tree Stump!) is dead.

14 guests remaining.

****

The unnamed guide hands the stunned and confused guests a book.

"Socrates, goodbye... why did you leave us? Fear not, though. His words live on in the writings of Plato. Perhaps he will be able to speak to you still."

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

Fiasco: 2 (DrippingGoofball, SpamWise)
VitaminR: 2 (PookyTheMagicalBear, the silent speaker)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Seol: 1 (Commodore Amazing)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 4.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

Fiasco: 9 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, petroleumjelly, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 1.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

Fiasco: 8 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, Fiasco, petroleumjelly, Seol, Tamuz, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 30 minutes.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

8 to lynch.

Fiasco: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, DrippingGoofball, PookyTheMagicalBear, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok)
Werebear: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Mod Note:

Seol has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

Werebear has not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and is in danger of replacement.

[Mr. Grey]

The Rabbit

The group is lead into a clearing in the trees. Their guide brings them to a halt and motions for them to form a rough circle.

"It is that sublime time when you are called to choose among you. I trust that you have reached a decision? Mr. Grey will be pleased to see his latest plot creation in action!"

The man pulls a small cage out of his bag, and opens it. Inside is a fluffy white rabbit.

"I know; it looks like a harmless rabbit. But look more closely! It's got sharp pointy teeth!"

****

The entire staff would like to persuade you to look deep within yourself and realize that you knew we couldn't go too long without another Monty Python reference. We trust you will forgive us.

****

The cage is opened. The rabbit looks around, before suddenly flying, literally, to the throat of the unnamed guide. Blood squirts everywhere, more blood than could possibly have been contained in his body. The guide collapses to the ground. The rabbit looks at the guests, motionless except for a twitching nose. After a few moments of silence, it hops off into the woods to find its watch.

The guests don't have time to worry about yet another wacky plot twist. They are all soon asleep in the clearing.

****

Big Brother is watching.

****

Nobody (of consequence) (Nobody, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 4. The deadline for Night is Monday, April 10, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 4, you have been sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Blitz

The guests begin to wake up as morning arrives, and they are already moving. They wonder before they are fully awake whether they have been sleepwalking, but then they realize that they are not walking at all. They are being carried in some sort of cage on wheels.

Realizing that their cargo is waking, the latest captors stop. Into the guests' field of view appear four strange men, wearing some sort of ridiculous looking purple armor. Their faces are somewhat obscured by face masks attached to helmets, but the guests can easily tell them apart by large numbers on their chests.

"They're awake, 70."

"Can we eat them now, 77?"

"We can't eat them all, 81. We have clear instructions. Right, 70?"

"Right. They can choose while we carry them. Now let's move. I'll lead the way. Your turn on the cart, 88."

The cart begins to move again. The guests do a quick count and discover that there are only a dozen of them remaining. They ask their captors what happened to the other two.

"They were dead when we found you. 70 wouldn't even let us eat them."

"You wouldn't have wanted to, 81. They weren't fresh."

"77 found one with her... his... whatever... head buried in the sand like an ostrich. Must've been confused, shame."

"And the other one was shot, right 70?"

"Yes, 88, brains blown out all over the place."

"Now pick someone for us to eat. We're hungry!"

A shudder passes through some of the guests, but there doesn't appear to be much to do for the moment other than discuss who they might want to get rid of next, so that will have to do until the next bizarre plot twist.

****

DrippingGoofball (Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll, the Agnostic!) and PookyTheMagicalBear (Derren Brown, the Serial Killer!) are dead.

12 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 5. The deadline for Nominations is Thursday, April 13, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing, Tamuz, and Werebear are automatically on the "lynching block", and therefore do not need to be Nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Seol: 1 (Commodore Amazing)
VitaminR: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic
Werebear: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Seol: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, petroleumjelly, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 2 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
VitaminR: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic
Werebear: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Seol has not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

Also, the silent speaker will be unable to post between Wednesday night and Saturday night for religious reasons. No temporary replacement has yet been found.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Seol: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 5 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Seol, the silent speaker)
VitaminR: 4 (mikeburnfire, Seol, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic
Werebear: Automatic

Mod Note:

Deadline for Nominations is in approximately 18 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Seol: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 4 (Commodore Amazing, petroleumjelly, Seol, the silent speaker)
VitaminR: 3 (Seol, Tamuz, the silent speaker)
the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic
Werebear: Automatic

Mod Note:

Deadline for Nominations is in approximately 6 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

Seol: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 4 (Commodore Amazing, petroleumjelly, Seol, the silent speaker)
VitaminR: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Seol, Tamuz, the silent speaker)

the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Commodore Amazing: Automatic
Tamuz: Automatic
Werebear: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

The Block

The guests and their captors continue along a path. They do nothing of interest. They say nothing of interest. It's time for voting.

****

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, Tamuz, VitaminR, Werebear.
7 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Monday, 8pm GMT).

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Cogito Ergo Sum and the silent speaker have not posted in the fourth real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

Seol has not posted in the fourth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

7 to lynch.

Seol: 3 (petroleumjelly, Thok, VitaminR)
Tamuz: 1 (SpamWise)
Werebear: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, Tamuz, VitaminR, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

7 to lynch.

Seol: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 1 (mikeburnfire)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, Tamuz, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 24 hours.

Commodore Amazing and Tamuz have not posted in the fifth real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

Seol has not posted in the fifth real-time "day" of the game Day, and is in danger of replacement.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

7 to lynch.

Seol: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, Seol, Tamuz, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 19 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

7 to lynch.

Seol: 8 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)

Mod Note:

Fritzler, Seol, and Thok have not posted in the sixth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

The Beach

The guests sit in the cart mostly silent, having already decided who to get rid of. The trees mostly block the sun from view, but they can tell that night is coming soon, and that the cannibals are nearing whatever destination they have in mind. After taking another turn with the brick path, they can see the end of the forest approaching. They clear the trees, and see...

The same beach they started on.

"You went the wrong way again, Jim!"

"Oh be quiet, 88. You wouldn't have done any better. And look, you've messed up our speaking restriction, now we're in big trouble."

"What's he going to do to us, 70?"

"Anything he wants. He's in complete control of everything we do, 81."

"Oh, right. Well, we might as well have our last meal, right 88?"

"88?"

88 is already busy gnawing on Seol's leg. He looks up with a guilty expression.

"What? I'm hungry, 77. He tastes good."

"At least cook him first, you big oaf. Oh well, let's take him and get out of here. Someone else lead the way this time, or 70 will get lost."

With that, the cannibals slit Seol's throat, and drag him off. As they near the rainforest, Seol's mask slips off to reveal his identity.

****

Seol (Perry Mason, the Defense Attorney!) is dead.

11 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 5. The deadline for Night is Wednesday, April 19, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 5, you have been sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Limousine

Once again the guests wake in motion, but this time they are not so confined. They find themselves in a large, comfortable stretch limo. The beach on one side and the forest on the other are much more appealing in the comfort of an air conditioned vehicle.

As they clear their heads, they notice a large computer screen where the window between driver and passengers would normally be. A blinking cursor is the only thing on the screen for a few minutes, but when they are all fully awake, text appears:

>INITIALIZING DEEP RED V2.0...
>
>DEEP RED V2.0 IS THE PROPERTY OF MR. GREY.
>ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.
>DO NOT USE WITHOUT THE EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT OF MR. GREY.
>SIDE EFFECTS INCLUDE HEADACHE, NAUSEA, PARALYSIS, AND DEATH.
>AND DON'T GET YOUR NASTY OILY FINGERPRINTS ON THE SCREEN, EITHER.
>
>INITIALIZING DEEP RED COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL...
>
>COMPUTING GUEST PERSONALITY VECTORS...
>CALCULATING TIME TO DESTINATION...
>COUNTING WORDS USED IN STARTUP PROCESS...
>LOADING...
>
>WELCOME. ON BEHALF OF MR. GREY, DEEP RED APOLOGIZES FOR ANY INCONVENIENCE CAUSED BY PREVIOUS MEAT-BASED NARRATORY DEVICES.
>
>THE LIST (TM) INDICATES THAT NO ADDITIONAL DEATHS HAVE OCCURRED DURING THE MOST RECENT NOCTURNAL PHASE. DEEP RED DOES NOT SHARE IN YOUR PRIMITIVE HUMAN EMOTIONS, BUT DEEP RED'S PROGRAMMING INDICATES THAT SOME OF YOU WILL DERIVE FEELINGS OF HAPPINESS AND RELIEF FROM THIS.
>
>YOU WILL BE ARRIVING AT YOUR DESTINATION AROUND NIGHTFALL. IN THE MEANTIME, RELAX, ENJOY THE VIEW, AND PICK SOMEONE FOR DEEP RED TO EXTERMINATE.
>
>THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION.
>
>CLOSING DEEP RED COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL...
>

****

No one (No One, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

11 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 6. The deadline for Nominations is Sunday, April 23, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

VitaminR is automatically on the "lynching block", and therefore does not need to be Nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 2 (Commodore Amazing, petroleumjelly)
mikeburnfire: 2 (Tamuz, Werebear)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)

VitaminR: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

SpamWise and the silent speaker have not posted in the first real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 2 (Commodore Amazing, petroleumjelly)
Werebear: 2 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
the silent speaker: 1 (VitaminR)
Thok: 1 (Fiasco)

mikeburnfire: Automatic
VitaminR: Automatic

Mod Note:

mikeburnfire was mistakenly left off the automatic list on Day 5. To restore order to the universe, he will be on the "lynching block" today, and therefore does not need to be nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Werebear: 3 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
the silent speaker: 2 (mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Commodore Amazing: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Fiasco: 1 (petroleumjelly)
Tamuz: 1 (VitaminR)
Thok: 1 (Fiasco)

mikeburnfire: Automatic
VitaminR: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

petroleumjelly has not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

SpamWise has not posted in the second real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements. SpamWise will apparently be away until the 25th; a replacement is being sought.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Werebear: 4 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker)
the silent speaker: 3 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 2 (petroleumjelly, the silent speaker)
Tamuz: 2 (Fiasco, VitaminR)
Commodore Amazing: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Thok: 1 (Fiasco)

mikeburnfire: Automatic
VitaminR: Automatic

Mod Note:

Mr. Grey is a character, not a player. And he's not even with the group at the moment.

The deadline for Nominations is in approximately 9 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

Werebear: 4 (Commodore Amazing, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, the silent speaker)
the silent speaker: 3 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 2 (petroleumjelly, the silent speaker)
Tamuz: 2 (Fiasco, VitaminR)

Commodore Amazing: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Thok: 1 (Fiasco)

mikeburnfire: Automatic
VitaminR: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

The Lighthouse

The limousine has carried the guests along the beach for several hours, and now a building comes into view on the horizon. It is, as the reader may have guessed from the title of this section, a lighthouse. As it approaches, the guests speculate on what strange plot twist the lighthouse might bring.

>INITIALIZING DEEP RED COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL...
>
>RETICULATING SPLINES...
>INSERTING CHAOS GENERATOR...
>BALANCING DOMESTIC COEFFICIENTS...
>LOADING...
>
>IT IS JUST A LIGHTHOUSE THAT HAPPENS TO BE BETWEEN THE BEGINNING OF TODAY'S JOURNEY AND YOUR DESTINATION. YOU PEOPLE READ TOO MUCH INTO THINGS. NOW GO BACK TO KILLING EACH OTHER.
>
>CLOSING DEEP RED COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL...
>
>INITIALIZING NOMINATION COUNT...
>

****

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, the silent speaker, VitaminR, Werebear.
6 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Wednesday, 8pm GMT).

Cogito Ergo Sum, Tamuz, and VitaminR have not posted in the third real-time day of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

mikeburnfire: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Tamuz, Werebear)
Tamuz: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)
the silent speaker: 1 (mikeburnfire)
Werebear: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, the silent speaker, VitaminR, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

mikeburnfire: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Tamuz, Werebear)
Tamuz: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, petroleumjelly)
the silent speaker: 2 (mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Werebear: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, the silent speaker, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 24 hours.

Commodore Amazing has not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

Tamuz has not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

mikeburnfire: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Tamuz, Werebear)
Tamuz: 2 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Thok)
the silent speaker: 2 (mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Werebear: 2 (Fiasco, the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, the silent speaker, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 7 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

Tamuz: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
mikeburnfire: 3 (Commodore Amazing, Tamuz, Werebear)
the silent speaker: 1 (VitaminR)
Werebear: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Tamuz, the silent speaker, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 3 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

Tamuz: 7 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok, VitaminR)

mikeburnfire: 2 (Tamuz, Werebear)
VitaminR: 1 (the silent speaker)

[Mr. Grey]

The Launch

The guests reach a verdict as the limousine rolls to a stop. It has been a long day. The limousine is comfortable by normal standards, and paradise by the standards they have grown accustomed to, but a day confined to a small space is nevertheless long.

Since the limousine has stopped, the guests try the doors, but they remain locked. They wonder aloud how they are going to carry out their decision in the confines of the vehicle. Predictably, the screen in front of the guests returns to life (as if Johnny Castaway isn't all the life one could want).

>INITIALIZING BIG BROTHER PROTOCOL...
>
>MR. GREY'S GUESTS, YOU ARE LIVE ON CHANNEL FOUR, PLEASE DO NOT SWEAR.
>
>DEEP RED HAS COUNTED THE VOTES AND CAN NOW TELL YOU THAT THE TENTH GUEST EVICTED FROM THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE, AND LIFE, IS...
>
>TAMUZ!
>
>TAMUZ, YOU HAVE BEEN EVICTED. PLEASE LEAVE THE BIG BROTHER HOUSE. TAMUZ, YOU HAVE BEEN EVECTED. PLEASE LEAVE...
>
>CLOSING BIG BROTHER PROTOCOL...
>
>INITIALIZING DEEP RED COMMUNICATION PROTOCOL...
>
>BLOODY PROGRAMMERS. THIS IS A LIMOUSINE, NOT A HOUSE. HERE DEEP RED IS, BRAIN THE SIZE OF THE UNIVERSE, AND DEEP RED IS STUCK WITH FAULTY WORDING, NO FIRST PERSON, AND BAD HITCHHIKER'S GUIDE REFERENCES. DEEP RED NEEDS A GOOD DEBUGGING.
>
>NOW THEN. WHERE WAS DEEP RED? AH YES. THE EVICTION...
>

With a sound like a limousine's roof opening and someone being launched from an ejector seat, the limousine's roof opens and Tamuz is launched from an ejector seat. The guests look up, and some imagine that they can hear a voice faintly saying...

"Tamuz is blasting off again..."

Clearly these guests need to be medicated.

>YOU HAVE ARRIVED AT YOUR DESTINATION. BUT BEFORE YOU GO IN... IT IS TIME TO SLEEP.
>

In moments, the guests are slumped in their seats, unconscious once more.

****

Tamuz (Chantelle Houghton, the Fake Celebrity!) is dead.

10 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 6. The deadline for Night is Friday, April 28, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 6, you have been (or will be) sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The House

You wake up. For once, you are not moving. Everything is dark.

>Open eyes.

Well done! You have opened your eyes. It would perhaps be easier to go back to sleep without taking a look at your surroundings. After all, it has been a rough week.

You still cannot see anything. Everything is too bright, now. However, you are now awake enough to guess that you are lying on a bed; a comfortable bed, at that.

>Wait.

Your eyes begin to adjust to the light. You can now make out your surroundings. The bright light is the sun, streaming through a large window on your right. To your immediate left, there is a small table, and beyond that, a closed door. The walls are decorated in some sort of ghastly floral pattern.

>Open door.

You can't reach the door from here!

>Get up.

You ease yourself out of bed. After two days of sitting packed in vehicles, your knees are stiff, and your whole body aches. You could use a nice long bath.

>Take bath.

I don't know what that means.

>That's because you're a stupid head.

I don't know what that means.

>Walk to door.

You walk to the door. You stand in front of it, as if waiting for some sort of command to prompt you into further action.

>Open door.

You open the door.

As you might expect under normal circumstances, the door leads into a hallway. Your circumstances, however, are not normal, so you were probably expecting something else. Fooled you, didn't I?

>No.

Liar.

>Walk to hall.

You leave your bedroom. Other guests are doing the same. The hall forms a rectangle around an open area. There is a set of stairs directly in front of you, and another on the far side of the house.

One of the other guests starts walking down the stairs.

>Walk down stairs.

You follow blindly, you sheep, you. No imagination these days.

You and the rest of the guests (you can see now that they number 10, as they before you were drugged) congregate in the Hall of the house. This is a Hall with a capital H, not to be confused with the hall you just left. There is something oddly familiar about this house. Looking around you see several other rooms on this floor. It is a very large house. One might even call it a mansion, if one were not restrained by having already used the letter M for titles.

>Whistle.

You whistle a tune from your childhood. Some of the other guests take it up. There is even some harmony. For a moment you sound fantastic. Then you collectively realize what you are whistling and stop, embarrassed.

>Wait.

You stand around waiting for something to happen. One of the guests picks his nose while he thinks no one is looking.

>Wait.

You stand around waiting for something to happen. A bird crashes into one of the spotless windows.

>Wait.

Someone else finally enters the Hall. It is an elderly woman wearing a maid's outfit.

The maid introduces herself as Mrs. White. You realize why the house is so familiar, but are confused by Mrs. White. She doesn't look a thing like Madeline Khan.

Haven't you read the books?

>No.

Clearly you were deprived as a child.

>Just lynch someone already.

Be patient! You have to decide on someone first.

Mrs. White wanders off to dust.

>

****

No one (No One, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

10 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 7. The deadline for Nominations is Tuesday, May 2, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

the silent speaker: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, SpamWise, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
Thok: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)
SpamWise: 2 (Thok, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 1 (Thok)

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

petroleumjelly and Werebear have not posted in the first real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

VitaminR has not posted in the second real-time "day" of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

the silent speaker: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, SpamWise, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
Thok: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)
SpamWise: 2 (Thok, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 1 (Thok)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

SpamWise: 4 (mikeburnfire, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
the silent speaker: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)
Thok: 2 (SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 2 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire)
Fiasco: 1 (Thok)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)

Mod Note:

Deadline for Nominations is in approximately 3 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

SpamWise: 4 (mikeburnfire, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
the silent speaker: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)

Thok: 2 (SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 2 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire)
Fiasco: 1 (Thok)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)

[Mr. Grey]

The Heart

You sit in the Hall, forming a rough circle with the other guests. The nominations have been counted. Before you get started on the next phase of discussion, you hear a faint noise. You can't tell where it's coming from.

>Lynch someone.

It's not time for that yet.

The noise continues, like a metronome. Perhaps you should investigate.

>No.

Look, you're not going to be able to do anything else until you do. You may as well get it over with.

>Don't wanna.

I don't know what that means.

>Fine, fine. Walk west.

You walk west, toward the front door of the mansion. The sound becomes more faint as you walk.

>Walk east.

You walk east, back to the circle.

>Walk east.

You walk east, toward the stairs you came down this morning. The sound grows louder. Aren't you a clever one.

>Look behind stairs.

As you walk around the staircase, the sound grows clearer. You finally recognize it. It is the sound of a beating heart.

>Look at floor.

You inspect the floor. Unlike the shining tile of the Hall, the floor under the stairs is carpeted. One corner is bare, showing wooden planks.

The beating continues.

>Go to planks.

The thumping grows louder still. Clearly the heart sound is coming from under the floor.

>Lift planks.

You lift the planks easily, as they are not nailed down.

Underneath is a pulsing heart. There is no body in sight, yet the heart is mysteriously alive.

>Get heart.

You pick up the heart.

Mrs. White appears. She is carrying a large black plastic bag. Before you can protest, she takes the heart and throws it in the trash. She tells you that lunch is being served. You should go wash your hands.

>Get heart.

Mrs. White has the heart now. She suggests that you forget about this little incident and return to the other guests.

>Was there any point to this?

I don't know what that means.

>Go to guests.

You return to the guests, who are now sitting in the appropriately named Dining Room. You sit down, and look at the bowl in front of you. In contains some sort of soup. You look at it suspiciously.

>Hey, what happened to Fritzler?

That's funny. You don't see the book of Plato's writings anywhere. You must've misplaced it. What a pity.

>

****

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: SpamWise, the silent speaker, Werebear.

6 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Friday, 8pm GMT).

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

the silent speaker: 2 (SpamWise, VitaminR)
SpamWise: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: SpamWise, the silent speaker, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Thok has not posted in the fourth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Commodore Amazing has not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

the silent speaker: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR)
SpamWise: 1 (the silent speaker)

Players Nominated: SpamWise, the silent speaker, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 3 hours. (Vote count unchanged from top of page.)

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

6 to lynch.

the silent speaker: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR)

SpamWise: 1 (the silent speaker)

[Mr. Grey]

The Hurry

Night is approaching. After lunch, you and the other guests left the Dining Room to continue your discussions in the Study. You have reached a decision now, but perhaps before the day ends and you must sleep, you would like to have another short adventure.

>Wait.

You wait patiently. Aren't you bored? There is a whole world out there for you to explore! I think east is particularly exciting this time of the year.

>Wait.

What are you in such a hurry for, anyway? The day can end pretty much any time (as long as that time is "sunset"). You may only have one chance to have this adventure.

>Wait.

You know, I'm really disappointed in you. You're showing no initiative, no drive. You'll never win The Apprentice like this. Of course, you'll also never win The Apprentice by not being on The Apprentice, but you get my point. Are you sure you don't want to go east?

>Don't go east.

Fine. Be that way. You're missing out though.

Mrs. White enters the Study carrying the Candlestick. She couldn't find the Rope. You and the other guests take turns senselessly beating the silent speaker senseless. After he's dead, you hit him some more just in case. Then you go to bed. That took a lot out of you.

****

the silent speaker (Italo Calvino, the Writer!) is dead.

9 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 7. The deadline for Night is Monday, May 8, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 7, you have been (or will be) sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Nursery

The guests awaken, disoriented once again. They are surprised and frightened to find themselves each in a small, enclosed space, behind some bars. However most prison cells do not have quilted snuggle rugs, or aeroplane mobiles hanging from the ceiling. There are murmurs of surprise as they realise they are each in a cot in a nursery.

In one corner, a little lump stirs, not used to this kind of adult commotion. She lets out a wail that brings a clatter of footsteps.

Into the room walks Nurse Brown. She quickly distributes bottles of milk to each person, barely seeming to notice that many of her little ones are not quite so little.

“Drink up! Drink up!”

****

Hello. This is Night Scene Quality Control. Sorry to interrupt, but we noticed quite quickly that this scene isn’t quite up to the same whimsical and witty standards of the previous ones.

-- It can’t be helped - the regular writer is away and he left me in charge.

Oh right then. When will he be back then?

-- Well… soon, I hope.

So do we, madam. So do we.

****

In the corner, the lump has finished her milk already. Nurse Brown quickly whisks her away for a diaper change. The guests, deciding that enough is enough, clamber out of their cramped enclosures.

A trolley appears at the door with individual bowls of lukewarm porridge.

“Sit down, all of you. You’re not going anywhere until you’ve had some breakfast.”

Something in Nurse brown’s tone suggests that she is best not to be argued with. The guests do as they are told, and sit down at little plastic tables in the corner of the room. The porridge isn’t actually too bad, and it’s good to start the day with some sustenance in one’s stomach.

“It’s also good to start the day with everyone alive and accounted for”

, Nurse Brown comments.

The writer of this night scene stops for a second, confused as to how a mere character can actually hear the narration.

The guests know, however, that it is time once again to decide who will be on the chopping block for the day. And that is something that neither Nurse Brown, nor the writer can help them with.

****

No one (No One, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

9 guests remaining.

Mod note:

It is now Day 8. The deadline for Nominations is Thursday, May 11, 8pm GMT.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod note:

Werebear is automatically on the lynching block and therefore does not need to be nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

mikeburnfire: 2 (Fiasco, Werebear)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
petroleumjelly: 1 (Werebear)
SpamWise: 1 (Fiasco)
Thok: 1 (Fiasco)

Werebear: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note

: petroleumjelly has not posted in the second real-time "day" of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss."

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

SpamWise: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Thok: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 3 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, SpamWise)
Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
Fiasco: 1 (SpamWise)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)
petroleumjelly: 1 (Werebear)

Werebear: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

SpamWise: 4 (Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, VitaminR)
Fiasco: 3 (petroleumjelly, SpamWise, Thok)
Thok: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 3 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, SpamWise)

Cogito Ergo Sum: 1 (Werebear)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)
petroleumjelly: 1 (Werebear)

Werebear: Automatic

****

The Null

"Do not try to read the scene. That's impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth."

"What truth?"

"There is no scene."

"There is no scene?"

"Then you will see that it is not the scene that is read. It is only yourself."

****

Mod Note

: The following players are on the "lynching block" and are thus eligible for votes: Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear.
5 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Monday, 8pm GMT).

Cogito Ergo Sum has not posted in the third real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss."

[Mr. Grey]

Mod note

: Commodore Amazing has not posted in the fourth real-time day of the game Day and has, therefore, used his "miss."

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Werebear: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, petroleumjelly)
Thok: 1 (VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Werebear: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 3 (SpamWise, VitaminR, Werebear)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Notes:

Deadline for Votes is in a little less than 16 hours.
Commodore Amazing did not post in the fifth real-time day of the game Day and has, therefore, failed the Posting Requirements.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Werebear: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 3 (SpamWise, VitaminR, Werebear)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, SpamWise, Thok, VitaminR, Werebear

Mod Note:

Deadline for Votes is in approximately 1.5 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Werebear: 6 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Commodore Amazing, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 3 (SpamWise, VitaminR, Werebear)

Mod Note:

Fiasco and Thok have not posted in the sixth real-time day of the Game Day and have, therefore, used their "miss."

End of Day Scene will be posted in a few hours.

[Mr. Grey]

The Narrator

The narrator stumbles in from the night, weary from the day's travels. He wants to lie down and drift off to sleep, but there is writing to do, so he drags himself to the Study.

Before he can get there, Nurse Brown cuts him off.

"Stop right there, young man. You're not going anywhere but straight to bed! Look at you! You can barely hold your eyes open."

"But I have to write the scene..."

"Nonsense. You're in no state to be writing scenes."

"I need a second opinion. Where's the doctor?"

"Doctor who?"

"Not that Doctor. The other one."

"Oh. Him. They killed him, poor thing."

"Ah. How?"

"You're in no condition to go imagining up a creative way for him to have died. Now, to bed!"

Nurse Brown takes a firm hold of his ear, and drags him off.

****

Werebear (John Locke, the Doctor!) is dead.

8 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 8. The deadline for Night is Thursday, May 18, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 8, you have been (or will be) sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Tail

The guests gather in the Hall once again, all accounted for, though one of their masks has changed from reading "Commodore Amazing" to "HalfMan". How peculiar. They await with dread the latest incredibly stupid plot device to hit them.

They keep waiting.

No one appears.

They collectively shrug and begin the day's talk without the appearance of some annoying NPC, but before they get going one hushes the rest. They go silent, and listen very carefully. There is a tiny voice, coming closer, though still no one appears. The voice seems to be having half of a conversation; the other half cannot be heard.

"I think so, Brain, but that doesn't

poit

explain why the

duck

crossed the road."

The guests sigh, and look down. Looking up at them, holding a tiny phone, is a mouse.

"Narf!"

****

No one (No One, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

8 guests remaining.

Mod Note:

It is now Day 9. The deadline for Nominations is Monday, May 22, 8pm GMT. Check your PM box before posting.

HalfMan replaces Commodore Amazing.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

HalfMan is automatically on the "lynching block", and therefore does not need to be Nominated.

[Mr. Grey]

Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 4 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, Thok)
SpamWise: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise)

HalfMan: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, and VitaminR have not posted in the second real-time "day" of the game Day, and have therefore used their "miss."

[Mr. Grey]

Final Nomination Count:

Fiasco: 4 (mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise, Thok)
SpamWise: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 4 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, SpamWise)

HalfMan: Automatic

[Mr. Grey]

The Twist

The guests mull around in the Hall waiting for something to happen. Something finally does.

"Pinky! What are you doing?"

"The same thing I do every night, Brain? Narf!"

"It's not even night, Pinky."

"Troz! But Brain, I thought while you were taking over the world, I could take over as narrator."

"Why would you want to do that? All the narrator gets to do is tell what happens... wait, that's brilliant, Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

"I think so, Brain, but haven't we already done that joke? Poit!"

****

Meanwhile, on a beach some distance away, the very beach that the guests landed, the following can be heard by those with a way to hear it:

"...I know what you're thinking, ironic, here I am talking about babblers and I'm doing a fair bit of babbling myself, but I assure you that this isn't babbling, it's all going somewhere, the light at the end of the tunnel or some other such idiom, I wouldn't waste your time with mindless babbling, and I'm sure an intelligent fellow like you, or whatever you are, can see that this is an important point that I'm getting to, and I'm just about there, and this next word clearly relates to that point, I mean "babe" is such a controversial word sometimes, isn't it, could just mean a baby of course, a beautiful infant newly arrived into this cruel world, the most precious thing there is, as I'm sure you are more aware than anyone, but if you call someone else babe, well, you're in for a load of trouble, you get what I mean, babe, unless of course you're talking about the Sultan of Swat himself, he's only tied for second in career home runs now you know, I guess that says something about how long I've been talking, but I always say that the important points are worth a few extra words and I think you and these other fine people will agree with that, and so..."

The pope-mobile continues to sputter along, while the remaining dead guests play a rousing game of Diplomacy to pass the time.

***

Mod Note:

The following players are on the "lynching block", and are thus eligible for votes: Fiasco, HalfMan, SpamWise, Thok.
5 votes are necessary at the end of the Day (Thursday, 8pm GMT).

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Fiasco: 1 (Cogito Ergo Sum)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, HalfMan, SpamWise, Thok

Mod Note:

SpamWise has not posted in the third real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore used his "miss".

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Fiasco: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, SpamWise, Thok)
SpamWise: 1 (Fiasco)
Thok: 1 (VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, HalfMan, SpamWise, Thok

Mod Note:

Cogito Ergo Sum has not posted in the fifth real-time day of the game Day, and has therefore failed the Posting Requirements.

Deadline for Day is in approximately 23 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Fiasco: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly, Thok)
Thok: 2 (Fiasco, VitaminR)

Players Nominated: Fiasco, HalfMan, SpamWise, Thok

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 11 hours.

[Mr. Grey]

Mod Note:

Deadline for Day is in approximately 4 hours.

Vote count as above.

[Mr. Grey]

Final Vote Count:

5 to lynch.

Fiasco: 3 (Cogito Ergo Sum, mikeburnfire, petroleumjelly)
Thok: 2 (Fiasco, VitaminR)

[Mr. Grey]

The Typo

The guests debate right up to sunset, but for the second time they fail to reach a majority. As night approaches, they wander off to get some sleep.

Meanwhile, in the Kitchen, Pinky watches as Brain puts the final touches on a fiendishly complex machine, constructed out of pots, a blender, some forks, a piece of raw chicken, and other various items Brain has found. Lightning flashes in the night, setting the scene as Brain presses a button on the blender. Set in motion, the parts of the odd machine clang together, buzz, and sit there completely uselessly in a way that only a piece of raw chicken can. After a few moments, Brain determines the exact time to press a second button, and the whole thing comes crashing to a halt, followed by a "ping" sound from the microwave. Brain opens the microwave, and lifts triumphantly a small nametag.

"What's that for, Brain? Narf!"

"Don't you see, Pinky? I have built this machine to produce a nametag which will give me the power over this medium we are trapped in. Think, Pinky, even though I know such a thing is far beyond your mental capacity. No more random plot devices, no more characters thrown in for the sake of having a new color, I can make anything happen."

Brain savors his triumph momentarily, before pinning the nametag to his Yes! I've done it! I am in control now, Pinky, just a thought and the world changes. Watch:

And now Pinky turns inside out.

"Brain, stop it, that tickles, poit, hehehe!"

Pinky turns back to normal.

The only thing though, Pinky, is that I really control everything. I even made you say what you just said. That's a lot of work. I just want to rule the world, everyone can keep their free will aside from that. I think I should step down. Here we go...

As Brain's hand reaches for the nametag, his last act as narrator is to make himself finally succeed in taking over the worms.

"Hey! Wait! Not worm! World! I take over the world!"

Before he can put the nametag back on to correct things, there is a rumbling, followed by the appearance of a multitude of worms. They approach their new leader to carry him off to the worm palace. In the chaos, the nametag slips out of Brain's hands, and ends up in the blender. This causes an unexplainable reaction which destroys the nametag and the machine that created it.

As Brain and Pinky are carried off by the worms, Brain does some more pondering out loud.

"What if I can't do it, Pinky? I had all the power, but something held me back from succeeding. Maybe, subconsciously, I realized as narrator that the worst thing that could happen would be to succeed, because where do we go from there?"

"What are we going to do tonight then, Brain? Zort!"

"The same thing we do every night, Pinky. If my purpose in life isn't to take over the world, clearly it must be to fail repeatedly. We mustn't disappoint the audience."

And so the new ruler of Wormdom and his faithful sidekick ride off, on worms, into the sunset.

****

Nobody (Nobody, the Random Wikipedia Link!) is dead.

Mod Note:

It is now Night 9. The deadline for Night is Sunday, May 28, 8pm GMT. If you have failed your post restriction, posting requirements, or broken a rule during Day 9, you have been (or will be) sent a PM. If you feel you have received this in error, contact the Moderator.

[Mr. Grey]

The Fall

'Twas the night before Day 10, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
There weren't any stockings to find in the place,
but the guests hoped that soon the host would show his face.

Ah, the guests, they were nestled all snug in their beds
while visions from mask-drugs did dance in their heads.
And I in the bedroom, alone with my cap,
had just settled my brain for a long summer's nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter and threw up the sash.

That last verse of course is a shameless rip off,
but the lack of changes shouldn't cause you to scoff.
Creative thought sadly is already missing,
So I'll use what I can and ignore the boo-hissing.

'Course, now I've said that, I've gotten off track,
There's a big gaping hole, there's a poetic crack.
That verse should have mentioned the glistening moon,
don't worry dear reader, we'll catch back up soon.

Now, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
on the roof stood a man (you expected reindeer?):
To be more precise, on the top of the wall,
I said, "Do be careful, you're likely to fall!"

The man, so it seemed, was one of the guests
(as the strange fitted mask he was wearing suggests).
Yet unlike the others, he wore a top hat,
I wondered "Now where on earth did he get that?"

His arms were spread wide, and I feared for the worst,
through the bones in my chest my heart felt it would burst.
I waited for what the next moment would bring,
when to my great surprise, he started to sing.

He sang of a man walking London at night,
with a little black bag that's oh-so-very tight,
and a big ole' black cloak hanging off of his back,
why this cat that he sang of could only be Jack!

I don't know why he sang about the Ripper
(this rhyme clearly won't "win one for the gipper").
But one thing was sure, death clouded his mind,
the why, was what I was determined to find.

He turned to me then, looked me straight in the eye,
his expression, it asked "Really want to know why?"
The man on the roof, one soon to be dead,
he shouted to me, and here's what he said:

"THE OTHERS, THEY KNEW, BUT THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE,
I NEEDED ATTENTION, I TOLD THEM, I SWEAR!
THEY FINALLY CHOSE TO NOT NOMINATE ME,
AND NOW I'VE NO CHOICE BUT TO SET MYSELF FREE!"

And what happened next? I'm sure you now know,
but I'll tell anyway, though the tale's full of woe.
(But first I must waste another two lines,
while the moon on the water continually shines.)

He sprang from the roof, and to no real great shock,
He flew not like the down, but fell like a rock.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he dove out of sight,
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH AND GOOD NIGHT!"

****

VitaminR (Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow, the Suicidal!) is dead.

7 guests remaining.

[Mr. Grey]

The Finish

"And so, that's how it happened. Pardon my parody. I couldn't help myself."

"Who are you, anyway? Are

you

Mr. Grey?"

"Oh, no sir. I am Wadsworth, Mr. Grey's butler."

"But... your name isn't a color!"

"I see. And does this make me unqualified to buttle?"

"Well, no, but..."

"Then I suggest, sir, that you return to bed. There's nothing more to see here."

****

It is later in the night. There is another loud noise, and once more the guests are wide awake, unaffected by any druggings. They hurry downstairs to the source of the crash, and are joined by Wadsworth.

Lying in the middle of the Hall is a man dressed entirely in grey, except for the parts which are covered in blood. Wadsworth stands over him in shock. He quickly explains that while he is a butler, he is not Mr. Grey's butler, and he invited the guests to confront Mr. Grey about the information he had been gathering on each of them. The guests ignore the gaping plot hole that the week before arriving at the mansion represents, as well as the similarity between this confession and a certain movie; bringing these things up wouldn't help matters anyway.

Wadsworth finally gathers himself, and addresses them.

"Very well...I know who did it. And furthermore, I'm going to tell you how it was all done. Follow me."

The bewildered guests follow Wadsworth to the Library, where he addresses them again.

"In order to help you understand what happened, I shall need to take you through the events of the week, step by step."

He is interrupted by the doorbell ringing. The guests look around nervously. Wadworth walks quickly to the Hall and opens the front door, where a UPS delivery man waits holding a brown envelope.

Wadsworth opens the envelope, reads the contents of the enclosed letter, thanks the UPS guy, and turns back to the guests.

"Well, this is most unfortunate. It seems that due to budgetary constraints, I won't get to do a hilarious run-around all over the island with you following and being confused until all the pieces finally fall into place and the murderer is revealed. Instead, to make a long story short..."

He pauses.

"No, I suppose that's too obvious a joke. Anyway, it should be clear that Derren Brown is responsible for the first three suicides. But who killed Mr. Brown, and Mr. Grey?"

"Was it Freud, psyching out the mentalist? Or was it Demosthenes, acting as prosecutor, judge, and jury? Or perhaps the bard himself."

"No. It was none other than Sister Mary Loquacious."

An eerie sound comes from the Billiard Room, where the guests have put the creatively mangled corpse of John Locke until they can give him a proper burial. It sounds something like a temporarily reanimated body saying:

"I knew it!"

The guest wearing the mask that reads "petroleumjelly" steps toward Wadsworth.

"That's a lie!"

"Is it? The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies... oh, right, you're all wearing the same thing. You turn out your pockets too. Whoever has the gun is the murderer."

The other guests start to do so, before Sister Mary Loquacious suddenly pulls out the gun. She points it at Wadsworth.

"Brilliantly worked out, Wadsworth. I congratulate you. Who are you, Perry Mason?"

"No, he's dead, remember."

"What gave it away?"

"Ironically, Perry Mason."

"Huh?"

"Don't you remember your fatal mistake?"

Wadsworth runs to the Kitchen.

"Sitting here, at dinner, Sister Loquacious told us that she was eating one of her favorite recipes. And Seol's brains, though popular in Purple People Eater cuisine, are not often to be eaten by even Satanists if they are innocent."

She and her sisters unmask themselves, and motion for the others to do the same. The newly unmasked Galileo asks:

"So this was all about religion all along?"

"Don't be silly. Religion was just a red herring. We're only Satanists on the weekend. Our real business is management training. This is going to look great on our brochure. After we kill you all, of course."

Wadsworth grins.

"Not so fast, Sister Mary. You're forgetting one thing."

"Oh yeah? Such as?"

"The game's up, Loquacious. There are no more bullets left in that gun."

"Oh, come on, you don't think I'm going to fall for that old trick?"

"It's not a trick. There was one shot at Derren Brown in the jungle... er... and... oh, right."

Five shots later, and it's all over.

****

The Satanic Nuns of the Chattering Order of Saint Beryl drag all the bodies to the cellar. They come to the last body, but as they turn it over the are shocked to find that it is not the body of Mr. Grey. They know this because the corpse is wearing a nametag which says: HELLO my name is Not Mr. Grey. They look at each other, but before they can discuss this latest development, a voice booms from everywhere and nowhere.

"Congratulations, Sisters. You have won. Would you like to meet Mr. Grey now?"

A door opens which had not been noticed before. Curiosity gets the better of the nuns, and they walk to and through the door.

Inside is an office. A large desk occupies the center of the room, and behind it is a chair facing away from the door. Lining the walls are a large number of televisions screens, showing views around the mansion, beach, and jungle. The nuns recognize most of the locations from their experiences during the week.

The chair turns toward them, revealing a man.

"Are you Mr. Grey, then?"

"Oh, no. But I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night."

****

Fiasco (Galileo Galilei, the Heretic!), HalfMan (William Shakespeare, the Bard!), SpamWise (Demosthenes, the Prosecutor!), and Thok (Sigmund Freud, the Psychologist!) are dead.

3 guests remaining.

The Satanic Nuns of the Chattering Order of Saint Beryl win!

[Mr. Grey]

THAT'S WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED.

BUT HOW ABOUT THIS?

[Mr. Grey]

The Finale

"No, I suppose that's too obvious a joke. Anyway, it should be clear that Derren Brown is responsible for the first three suicides. But who killed Mr. Brown, and Mr. Grey?"

HalfMan motions impatiently.

"Come on, Wadsworth. Tell us who it is. I'd rather like to pursue the jerks."

But before Wadsworth can finish, HalfMan's words have already taken effect. His mask pops off, and even as the other guests recognize the face of the Bard, it changes. Hair grows rapidly from his face, and his body swells, bursting from the now too small clothes. His nose lengthens into a snout.

Yet, even as the transformation is completed, the others can tell something has gone wrong. The expression on the bear's face is all wrong, and he growls loudly in pain. Suddenly, far too quickly for the fabric of space-time to be happy with, something changes and with a pop the bear changes shape once more...

The guests stand, mouths ajar, looking at a giant stuffed bear.

"NO ONE KILLED POOKY. DERREN BROWN WAS JUST A SHELL. POOKY HAS SUCCEEDED IN POOKY'S TASK. FOOLS. TWO SUICIDES BROUGHT ON NOT BY THE ACTIONS OF A MENTALIST, BUT BY THE INNOCENT GUESTS! AHAHAHAHAHA. ADELE, POOKY'S FAVORITEST HUGGLE BUDDY, YOU ARE AVENGED!"

"So this had nothing to do with the fire and brimstone, or the evil Popes?"

"DON'T BE SILLY. RELIGION WAS JUST A RED HERRING. AND NOW... POOKY WANTS A HUGGLE..."

If six guests and a butler scream as they are being huggled to death, and no one is there to hear it, do they make a sound?

****

"NOW, WHERE IS THE REAL MR. GREY?"

In answer, a door opens.

Inside is an office. A large desk occupies the center of the room, and behind it is a chair facing away from the door. Lining the walls are a large number of televisions screens, showing views around the mansion, beach, and jungle. The bear recognizes most of the locations from his experiences during the week.

The chair turns toward them, revealing a little girl.

"Teddy!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO..."

****

The Lump walks out of the office, looking for her mother. She drags behind her a small stuffed bear, inanimate... except for eyes which express all the emotion of an intelligent mind trapped forever.

****

Cogito Ergo Sum (Sister Grace Voluble, the Satanic Nun!), Fiasco (Galileo Galilei, the Heretic!), HalfMan (William Shakespeare, the Bard!), mikeburnfire (Sister Gabriella "Gabby" Gregarious, the Satanic Nun!), petroleumjelly ((Sister Mary Loquacious, the Satanic Nun!), SpamWise (Demosthenes, the Prosecutor!), and Thok (Sigmund Freud, the Psychologist!) are dead.

0 guests, and 1 teddy bear, remaining.

PookyTheMagicalBear wins!

[Mr. Grey]

BUT HERE'S WHAT REALLY HAPPENED...

[Mr. Grey]

The Finally

"No, I suppose that's too obvious a joke. Anyway, it should be clear that Derren Brown is responsible for the first three suicides. But who killed Mr. Brown, and Mr. Grey? Was it Freud, psyching out the mentalist? Or was it Demosthenes, acting as prosecutor, judge, and jury? Or perhaps the bard himself."

"No, it was the Fascist Dictator himself, Mussolini."

There is silence, as confused looks play across several of the guests' faces. One finally speaks up.

"Mussolini? Mussolini isn't even here!"

"Of course he is. He lied about his identity, certainly, but the clue was there: he wears it on his mask, all though it is a bit mixed up."

Wadsworth walks over to a conveniently placed chalkboard and writes:

FASCIO = FIASCO!

"The gun is missing. Gentlemen, turn out your pockets. Ladies... oh, right, you're all wearing the same thing. You turn out your pockets too. Whoever has the gun is the murderer."

"No need for that, Wadsworth. It's right here."

"Fiasco" points the gun at Wadsworth. SpamWise looks puzzled.

"So this had nothing to do with Popes, or Satanic Nuns?"

"Of course not. Religion was just a red herring, eh Wadsworth?"

"You're forgetting something. There are no bullets left in that gun."

"Oh, I'm not forgetting that. Annoying of Mr. Grey to only provide me with one bullet. Still, it served me well against that mental magician, and I don't lament having only one. Even useless, this gun has distracted you enough for..."

"Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee..."

BLUDGEON!!!

"Beware the I'ds of March!"

STAB!!!

Cogito Ergo Sum and petroleumjelly slump to the floor. Standing behind them are Thok and HalfMan.

"...for my partners to finish the job."

With her dying breath, Sister Mary gasps:

"Et tu, HalfMan?"

mikeburnfire and SpamWise turn to flee, but before they can get far a badly draw black and white sketch of a bald man appears from nowhere.

ENDGAME'D!!!

****

Wadsworth motions toward a door which has just opened.

"If you would, gentlemen, Mr. Grey would like to congratulate you on your victory."

Unmasked, the Italian Mafia - Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini, the Fascist Dictator; Nero Claudius Cæsar Augustus Germanicus, the Crazy Emperor; and Marcus Junius Brutus, the Traitor - walk through the door...

Cogito Ergo Sum (Sister Grace Voluble, the Satanic Nun!), mikeburnfire (Sister Gabriella "Gabby" Gregarious, the Satanic Nun!), petroleumjelly ((Sister Mary Loquacious, the Satanic Nun!), and SpamWise (Demosthenes, the Prosecutor!) are dead.

3 guests remaining.

The Italian Mafia (Fiasco, LoudmouthLee, Thok, and Commodore Amazing/HalfMan) wins!

[Mr. Grey]

The Denouement

You pass through the door, and with each step you feel vastly different. You have taken off the mask you were given to start this journey, but you realize that it is not the only mask you were wearing. The name on the mask was not just an alias to hide your identity; your identity wasis another mask, hiding your true self, a self tied closely to that alias.

A few steps from the door, there is a mirror. As you pass it, you see not an Italian politician, but your true face. It was just a game, you realize. Nobody really died; and at this thought, you are relieved.

A bright light waits ahead. Your identity as Mr. Grey's guest shed, you walk into the light without hesitation. You hear a noise, growing louder, and finally you realize what it is: it is the sound of an audience cheering...

****

"Welcome to the Verbose Mafia 2 Awards Show! With your host, the Godfather himself, mith!"

"Thank you, thank you for all being here, it's been quite a ride, hasn't it? Let's get right into it, though, I'm running out of time before the deadline!"

Laughter.

"I'd like to present the winners of Verbose Mafia 2! Here they are, coming on stage just now: Fiasco, playing Mussolini! Thok, playing Nero! Commodore Amazing and HalfMan, in the role of Brutus! And LoudmouthLee, playing Alexander VI! Come join us up here."

Applause. Indeed, LoudmouthLee, as well as all the other players, are in attendance, sitting along the front of the stage.

"Let's also give a hand to the other sides in this conflict: the Serial Killer, the Fake Celebrity, and the Innocents. Well played, everyone! Without your participation, this game wouldn't have been possible."

More applause.

"Before we get to the awards for the players, I'd like to give a special award... without these two people this game could not have run nearly as smoothly as it did. The Valuable Moderator Award goes to... MeMe and Talitha!"



"I'd bring them up on stage... but they can edit their own acceptance speech in if they want!"

"Without further ado, the Verbies!"

"For taking on the monumental task of reading over 1300 posts over the course of a single Night and then jumping in as a replacement... the Ventriloquist Monkey Award goes to... HalfMan!"

I fear I have spent too much vigor on illuminating these dark times with my radiance. I have burned too brightly, and blinded the very eyes whose vision I'd sought to clear. I have been too Heroic.

Hero is a plaything to Muse - he can deny nothing of himself to her, and she plays with him casually, roughly. What passion can she have for a doll, and what heat can burn in her for a puppet?

Muse was made for Man.

And so I descend, I fall, I cast myself into a lesser myself, that by this dimming she might find me more fitting, and that by this loss of glory I shall find inspiration.

No longer am I the Hero. No more am I Amazing. Instead I stand before you only HalfAmazing... but also HalfMan.

"For being a foxy lady, the subject of another player's romantic pursuits... the Vulpine Maiden Award goes to... Adele!"

Adele stared at horror and disgust at Pooky.

Do you call me womanly, sir? I would thank you to withdraw such comments, before I demand satisfaction...

Suddenly, Adele notices that the mask presents a female demeanor, and, strangely, a shapely form in a stunning gown appeared to be his... her? body. How strange. Perhaps it related to those dreadful pictures. Very well, then. It did at least offer the oportunity to get to know this gentleman in a public forum without attracting suspicions...

...Ah...heh... I mean, you think I'm pretty? I'm flattered! Tell me more, good gent. I'm sure you have fascinating tales of how you earned the money you've spent.

"For the player most likely to be lynched Day 1, since he was... the Vanquished Matador Award goes to... Turbovolver!"

That is perfectly acceptable. As I said a while ago, I am saddened by a world still so dominated by prejudice. Not to mention I can do little to help you guys root out your killers, beyond simply mouthing-off with my suspicions. I wish you all the best of luck in your search.

NEVER FORGET MALCOLM X!

"For determination in the face of danger to his well being... the Venezuelan Militant Award goes to... Werebear!"

Very nice, Mikeburnfire. In case you've forgotten, my restriction was GIVEN TO ME BY YESTERDAY'S TOWNIE YOU DECIDED TO LYNCH. I've only had it a few days, and other than the first two posts the day I was given it, I've kept to it every single post.

And you know, everyone's thinking I'm suspicious because I've been harping on the satanists this whole time. Maybe it's because... they're SATANISTS? Maybe it's because THEY CLAIM THEIR ROLES DON'T FOLLOW THE MOD'S RULES? Maybe it's because THEY'VE LIED DIRECTLY TO THE TOWN TO MISLEAD THEM? Does any of this ring a bell? Hello? Anyone?

Werebear, Doctor Locke, signing off. Have fun tomorrow. And even though it's acadmic right now-- HRRGH!

"For obvious reasons... the Vatican Motorist Award goes to... LoudmouthLee!"

The Pope formerly known as LoudmouthLee interrupts the speech, clearing his throat. The tall imposing figure that is Death turns toward him with the sound of creaking bones.

WE MAY BE HERE A WHILE.

The newly dead guest shrugs, hops in a metaphysical pope-mobile, and begins driving circles around the filibusterer to pass the time.

"For observing proper protocol, even though he was evil scum... the Villainous Mayor Award goes to... Thok!"

My restriction is obviously related to this; I must include a word refering to insanity in each of my posts (for example, I may use the word touched, referring to one who is "touched in the head"). There is a precise definition and list of words I must use, but I will leave the criterion ambivalent for the moment. You may assume (obviously) that I have never failed my restriction.

"For avoiding the lynching block nearly the entire game... the Voting Malfunction Award goes to... SpamWise!"

Final Nomination Count:

SpamWise: 4 (mikeburnfire, the silent speaker, Thok, VitaminR)
Werebear: 4 (Cogito Ergo Sum, Fiasco, mikeburnfire, Thok)
the silent speaker: 3 (Fiasco, SpamWise, VitaminR)

Thok: 2 (SpamWise, VitaminR)
VitaminR: 2 (Fiasco, mikeburnfire)
Fiasco: 1 (Thok)
mikeburnfire: 1 (Werebear)

"For being the tastiest player... the Valiant Masticator Award goes to... Seol!"

"Brilliantly worked out, Wadsworth. I congratulate you. Who are you, Perry Mason?"

"No, he's dead, remember."

"What gave it away?"

"Ironically, Perry Mason."

"Huh?"

"Don't you remember your fatal mistake?"

Wadsworth runs to the Kitchen.

"Sitting here, at dinner, Sister Loquacious told us that she was eating one of her favorite recipes. And Seol's brains, though popular in Purple People Eater cuisine, are not often to be eaten by even Satanists if they are innocent."

"For winning the posthumous Diplomacy game... the Violent Martian Award goes to... Tamuz!"

Unfortunately, we were unable to get permission from ESPN8, the Ocho, to play highlights from this magnificent game.

"For going beyond the call of duty with regard to the minimum posting requirements... the Voluminous Memo Award goes to... DrippingGoofball!"

I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know... I don't know, I don't know...

"For going beyond the call of duty with regard to the minimum length requirements... the Volcanic Missive Award goes to... the silent speaker!

Wow. That's big, Goofball, and I for one see it as a crushing blow to LoudmouthLee. Of coure, he's also named me by way of Turbovolver so I have that bias, but that cuts both ways as well: from your standpoints I have reason to cast aspersions, but from mine I have good reason to doubt his claim as whole cloth anyway.

As an aside, I think "testing" Lee is a poor idea, for two reasons: first, for aught I can tell he's

been

tested and failed twice -- once when he linked me and Turbovolver, which makes no sense to me from any angle, and once when he mangled who Adele told him about; second, to test him the lynchee needs to declare, in thread, what message he's going to send in a way that's decipherable to one person and one person ONLY. Without we lynch a mason, I don't believe that can be done. If the lynchee's 'target' can divine the message without secret communication, why should Lee be unable to? Yet he has to, since the one who sent the message is perforce dead.

Where does that leave Cogito? Given Commodore Amazing as an accurate source of information, which I do, there are four possibilities: 1. Both are scum, and one is a godfather-type role. 2. Only Lee is scum, and CES is a mason. 3. Only Cogito is scum, and Lee is a liar on our side. 4. Neither is scum.

I lean toward either 1 or 2. He has done a lot of pushing for Lee; on the other hand, Commodore Amazing himself backed away from Lee surprisingly quickly, and I don't see any reasonable way

he

could be scum. Incidentally, CA, unless I missed something Seol hasn't promised confirmability; but as this is the same post in which you addressed SpamWise as "Fiasco," I put it down to mere slip.

I will say this for Cogito Ergo Scum. If he's villainous today, he will still be villainous tomorrow. Much as I dislike outright claims, he's locked into his, and if only a few of the wrong people die it's curtains for him as well. One possibility -- the only one I can see -- is to have Cogito announce that he will tell Lee the restriction(s) that apply to his mason partner, and tomorrow Lee tells us the restrictions. This does risk outing the mason, and gravely, but it is the only way I can think of for someone to reveal knowledge which is both unguessable before-the-fact and verifiable after-the-fact. And at least a Cogito lynch has advantages on its own merits.

Seol, I voted for you because Fiasco isn't on the block today. I could have voted for Pooky, but I was wary of the company; VitaminR and Fritzler are a little bit secondary on my suspects list; I was opposed to a Cogito lynch or a Lee lynch on principle, though now I am not, and I was and remain opposed to the lynches of petroleumjelly or DrippingGoofball.

Here is Commodore Amazing's "bad hanging" list, as I annotate it currently.
Cogito Ergo Sum -- Either is a mason or is scum. The paucity of potential partners provides provisional protection. He can't hide as scum for long.
LoudmouthLee -- Has lied. Probably the exception to the "bad hanging" rule.
Mikeburnfire -- Very likely town. I would be quite surprised at this point to learn he is evil.
petroleumjelly -- See

mikeburnfire

.
SpamWise -- No especial read.
Tamuz -- No especial read.
Werebear -- No especial read.
the silent speaker -- DEFINITELY a bad hanging.
Thok -- No especial read.

IF Cogito AND LML are evil, with one of them the godfather, there are only two or three among DrippingGoofball (and I think she's not one); Fiasco (and I think he

is

one); Fritzler (probably not, but maybe); Pooky (who has promised verifiability); Seol; VitaminR. If there is no godfather among the bad hangings, there must be three or four in this group.

LML is pushing to lynch Seol. Seol is pushing to lynch LML. Werebear is pushing to lynch CES and finds Seol suspicious; Fritzler agrees. Goofball, whom I trust, does not think Seol suspicious. What a mess.

For now I have to go with lynching all liars. I think CES bears watching but will keep. I think Seol is probably scum. I am willing to take Pooky's word on verifiability for now, though I note that we have at least three people promising it and will want to see some money where mouths are by a couple of days hence.

Unvote: Seol

with misgivings. [/b]Vote: LoudmouthLee[/b].

"For the distinction of posting the 995th reply (ignoring the improper use of Roman Numerals)... the VM award goes to... Cogito Ergo Sum!"

Ok, Mike, the right lynch is Seol. We can worry about Werebear another day. You can finish the job and we'll hopefully nab scum. Let's punish him for his inability to come up with a decent fake claim.

We can do this thing.

"For having a role which provided the narrator with a fun bit of writing... the Vagary Medium Award goes to... mathcam!"

"...and just what is an aardvark anyway, and how is it different from an aardwolf, I mean there's wolves as well so is an aardwolf a type of wolf and if so what type and does that mean an aardvark is a type of vark, there are all questions I ask myself daily, it's a whole meaning of life thing, looking at the meanings of terms for different types of life, and that's what I'm trying to get at with this little speech, since the meaning of life is pretty important at the end of it all, if there's no meaning, that's pretty bleak isn't it, perhaps by the end of this speech I'll have figured out the whole meaning thing and you won't have to tell me, it's more fun when you figure things out for yourself I think, it's like a puzzle, you can stare at it and stare at it and the answer may not come to you but if you give up then it's no fun anymore, you can't unlearn the answer and figure it out later, but if you figure it out on your own it's a great feeling, so I figure figuring out the biggest puzzle of them all has got to be the best feeling in the world, right, so anyway, where was I, oh yeah, aardwolf, do you think they're related to aardvarks, because otherwise it seems a bit silly calling them such similar names, not that aardvark and aardwolf aren't silly names to begin with, I mean the only sillier name I can think of is aasvogel just down the page here, but we'll come to that in a moment, shouldn't be long now..."

"For the player most likely to be killed Night 1, since he was...the Victimized Moralist Award goes to... Kelly Chen!"

Blackbeard's introduction is cut off by a loud voice. It appears to be coming from the pirate's hole.

"I have sinned, oh Lord! I must have fallen short of Your infinite glory to have been cast away on this God-forsaken place. Have mercy, Lord, though You are an angry God, lest I burn in the fires of hell!"

The guests turn back to Blackbeard, who shrugs and says "Arrr!" a bit more, and then walk over to look in the pit.

"I am doomed to an eternity of flames and burning and flaming burns! I may as well start now."

And with that, Kelly Chen sets himself on fire.

"For portraying the most fictional character in the game... the Vaporous Myth Award goes to... mikeburnfire!"

Gabriella Gregarious does NOT appear in the books??? I told you from the start I'd never read the books. I was relying on those with more knowledge than me. Please, someone, tell me you've actually READ the books. However, a search on

"Good Omens" Gregarious

turns up... our conversations here. Apparently our host is posting our plight on the web., under guise of a game. Maybe they'll realize our situation and send a search party to rescue us. or MAYBE WE CAN START LYNCHING THOSE WE SHOULD HAVE BEEN FROM THE BEGINNING!!!!!!!

I beg you all - lynch mikeburnfire. I think this will settle once and for all if the satanists are indeed masons, or scum.

"For proving to be the most suicidal player, in spite of the stiff competition... the Vanishing Madman Award goes to... Fritzler!"

Damn, CA reminded me of something. I didn't say anything really cool when i died. I should have claimed aniX didn't invent upick. Or that scully wasn't hot. Or something really sweet. I let you all down.

"For being a talking point throughout the entire game... the Vexing Mystery Award goes to... VitaminR!"

I concur that one nomination for every person would be useful. I should think that would be enough to nominate the most suspicious people. Sure, we can use all of them, but in all probability that means either a large group of players is disregarded in the lynch phase or we have so many candidates that is hard to get anything going.

Anyway, why has everyone skipped me? I just need a little attention. Just one nomination, please.

PLEASE!

"For the funniest moment in the game... the Viscous Monitor Award goes to... Commodore Amazing!"

I know we are already disturbed by Thok's ideas of resorting to cannibalism. I know we want to root out the killers among us. Before we get too much into the violence, I would like to request everyone audition for my next play. Please follow the directions as much as you can. I promise there's a point to this.

I would like Adele and Cogito Ergo Sum to recite the following lines:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."

I would like DrippingGoofball and Fiasco to recite:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"

I would like Fritzler and Kelly Chen to recite:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

I would like LoudmouthLee and mathcam to recite:

"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."
"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"

I would like mikeburnfire and petroleumjelly to recite:

"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

I would like PookyTheMagicalBear and Seol to recite:

"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

I would like SpamWise and Tamuz to recite:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."
"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"

I would like the silent speaker and Thok to recite:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

I would like Turbovolver and VitaminR to recite:

"I am gone forever." Exit, pursued by Commodore Amazing.
"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

And I would like Werebear to recite:

"Commodore Amazing prevents a bad marriage."
"Et tu, Brute? Then fall, Commodore Amazing!"
"More Commodore Amazing, with less art."

Thanks.

I have just realized that it might be a better idea to wait on the auditions until tomorrow. I'd like everyone to refrain from getting too excited about my audition requests.

"For an exceptional application... the Victorious Matriculant Award goes to... petroleumjelly!"

Also, a few parting words from other Scummers about my verbosity (quoted exactly, so spelling errors are of no fault of mine):

-“OK, I acutally went through the brain-numbing excersize of reading through every line of all of your posts…” – SpeedyKQ, Back to Gambits II Post 301

-“One thing you were right about is you do talk alot.” – Dirge, Newbie #166 Post 349

-“I agree with what petroleumjelly wrote about Vaughn’s situation (I have to congratulate with you, never seen posts so long and well articulated on the first day of a game!)…” – Micigante, Themed Mini #270 Post 97

-“Also, I was quite impressed with petroleumjelly's play […] The only small suggestion I'd make for the future would be to cut down on the long posts a bit.” – Yaw, Themed Mini #260 Miyazaki Post 402

-“I saw mith's verbose mafia and immediately thought of you, you might want to check it out because it seems right up your alley” – AmeliaSlay, non-game related PM

"For outstanding roleplaying during his stay in the game... the Voguish Masquerader Award goes to... PookyTheMagicalBear!"

Pooky leans back under the shade of the palm tree and warily eyes the newly arrived pirates and the awakening companions. Which of them had been up to more than just sleeping last night? Carefully glancing across his companions, looking for signs of fatigue or weariness that might indicate an eventful night, Pooky's eyes fell across a particularly picturesque beauty as she rose. As dawn's bright rays danced across her hair, a Patsy Cline tune danced through Pooky's head,


See the pyramids along the Nile
Watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember darlin' all the while
You belong to me

See the market place in Old Algiers
Send me photographs and souvenirs
Just remember when a dream appears
You belong to me

I'll be so alone without you
Maybe you'll be lonesome too, and blue

Fly the ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember 'til you're home again
You belong to me

I'm gonna be so alone without you
And I'm hopin' maybe you'll be lonesome, too, and blue

Fly that ocean in a silver plane
See the jungle when it's wet with rain
Just remember til you're home again
You belong to me

"For his answer to the question of how many fingers I was holding up... the Voodoo Mathematician Award goes to... Fiasco!"

Finally, how many fingers are you holding up? I could name some random number between one and ten, but I have a feeling that you would not ask this question unless it were a trick, with some way for those who saw through it to arrive at the correct answer through pure deduction.

The first salient fact is that you did not specify the fingers you were holding up were your own fingers. I will therefore assume that they were severed human fingers, and that you were holding up as many of them as is reasonably possible for a typical person, in some sort of container.

Looking at my own fingers, I would estimate them to be on the order of one centimeter squared by seven centimeters, that is, seven centimeters cubed, or .007 liters. Assuming they weigh the same as water, this means each finger weighs seven grams. To take into account the possibility that some of the fingers you were holding up used to belong to children, I will downgrade this to two-thirds of that, or four grams and two thirds of a gram per finger.

Since you were typing at the time when you asked the question (with one hand, I assume), a reasonable value for the weight in fingers you were holding up with the other hand sounds like thirty kilograms.

After doing the calculation, it is clear that you were holding up

exactly 6428 fingers plus about half of a finger

.

"And finally, a special award... for outstanding participation, effort, and overall play... the Verbie 'Oscar'... the Verbitas Maximus Award goes to... Fiasco!"



"Thank you for playing, and good night!"

Fade to black.

[Mr. Grey]

The Details

A spreadsheet with Misses, Failures, End-of-Day Votes, and Night Choices can be found here

The Role PMs, in order of death:

Player

: Turbovolver

Role Name

: You are El-Hajj Malik El-Shabazz, the Token Character!

Role Description

: Is this some kind of joke? You are clearly here to act as a token Black/Muslim/Paranoid Schizophrenic. That, or you just had the most obvious post restriction ever. You don't have to put up with this nonsense. You have rights, you know.

Role Details

:

You have no abilities. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You must use the letter X in every post. (See, told you it was obvious.)

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will triple your restriction for the following Day (you will need to use the letter X three times per post).

Player

: Kelly Chen

Role Name

: You are Jonathan Edwards, the Preacher!

Role Description

: You find yourself with a bunch of heathens.

The wrath of God burns against them, their damnation does not slumber; the pit is prepared, the fire is made ready, the furnace is now hot, ready to receive them; the flames do now rage and glow.

- Jonathan Edwards

Role Details

:

You have no abilities. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: In every post, you must preach at the other players by using one of the following words (or derivatives thereof): "fire", "burn", "hell", "flame"

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will double your restriction for the following Day (you will need to use two of the words in every post).

Player

: Adele

Role Name

: You are Savinien Cyrano de Bergerac, the Poet!

Role Description

: As a Gascon, you're up for any adventure that might come your way. You're not one to back down from an argument or a fight. You also have some skill with words. In fact, you are such an outstanding poet, that you cannot resist the temptation to compose speeches for the others.

Role Details

:

Each Night, you must compose a post for another player. The post must meet the minimum posting requirements, and must be no longer than 60 words. You will send this post to the Moderator, who will pass it on to that player. Your target must make your composition his or her first post of the day. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: Each of your posts must hold a rhyme. Such poetry will be sublime. (The rhyming words must be at the ends of consecutive sentences to count.)

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will give you an additional restriction the following day.

Notes: The additional restriction would have been poetry related.

Player

: mathcam

Role Name

: You are Huey Pierce Long, the Filibuster...er!

Role Description

: These lightweights you find yourself with may think they're good at talking, but they're no match for Huey Long. You once spoke for over 15 hours as part of a filibuster. The others guests won't know what hit them. In fact, you'd better get an extra dictionary to read, just in case you really want to torture them.

Role Details

:

Each Night, you may choose to filibuster another player. They will be unable to use any Night ability that they might have. You may use this ability twice during the game. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You must post three times in a row at least once during each Day. The posts must be different.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will result in the loss of your blocking ability for the following Night.

Player

: LoudmouthLee

Role Name

: You are Alexander VI, the Controversial Pope!

Role Description

: Italy will rise again! Eliminating a few speakers and writers who might speak out (and write) against you seems like a small thing, but you've got to start somewhere.

Role Details

:

You are in the Italian Mafia with Fiasco and Thok. On any Night, you may choose to kill another player in the game by poisoning them (even if another Mafia member is also committing a murder). You may only use this ability once during the game. You are also aware of a Traitor loyal to your cause, though you aren't sure who the Traitor is. The Traitor wins with the Mafia whether recruited or not, but your group can make the Traitor a full Mafia member (with the ability to kill) by saying "Et tu, PLAYERNAME". You win when all players who oppose you are dead.

Post Restriction

: Each of your posts must contain two words with at least two occurences of "P" each.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will mean you can not use your killing ability the following Night.

Player

: Fritzler

Role Name

: You are Σωκράτης, the Tree Stump!

Role Description

: No one really knows anything about you for sure. Your character is defined by the writings of others: Plato, Aristotle, Aristophanes, Xenophon... and now, the Moderator.

Role Details

:

At any time during Day, you may say "Σωκράτης". As soon as you do so, you will "drink the poison". You will no longer be able to Nominate or Vote, nor will anyone be able to Nominate, Vote, or kill you. However, your words will "live on" in the writings of Plato, so you may continue to talk during Day (with the same posting requirements). If you are lynched or killed before taking the poison, you're just dead and can't talk. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: All of your posts must contain a question. You may not use the words "tree" or "stump".

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will affect the End of Day scene.

Notes: The appearances of the Monty Python Lumberjack in the scenes were the result of failures by this role. Fritzler failed his restriction soon after using his ability, and thus was unable to talk the remainder of the game.

Player

: DrippingGoofball

Role Name

: You are Colonel Robert Green Ingersoll, the Agnostic!

Role Description

: You think this vacation was a good idea. But you aren't sure. It was, right? But what if it wasn't? You'll probably never find out anyway. Besides, when you die, you won't remember it. Or will you?

Role Details

:

You have no abilities. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: In each post, you must use the phrase "don't know".

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will double your restriction for the following Day (you will need to use "don't know" twice in every post).

Player

: PookyTheMagicalBear

Role Name

: You are Derren Brown, the Serial Killer!

Role Description

: Bored with card tricks and fooling little old ladies, you have joined this expedition in hopes of spending time with some of the most intelligent and eloquent people who have ever lived. Unfortunately, you soon discover that they're just as dumb as everyone else. You, Derren Brown, are the world's most intelligent human being. Your mental abilities are so astounding that you'd fool yourself into thinking you were magical, if you weren't so smart. There's only one thing to do: you'll have to kill everyone.

Role Details

:

Each night you must use your incredible psychological skills to guess either a player's Role Name, or a player's Post Restriction. You may guess one of each. If either of your guesses is correct, you can kill a player. Send your choice with your guesses; the target does not have to be one of your guesses, nor do the guesses have to be about the same player. Once you have correctly guessed either Role Name or Post Restriction for a player, you may no longer "win" kills by guessing that player. You are immune to any investigations. You can choose one night to disappear instead of killing, making yourself immune to all night actions. You win if all players other than yourself are dead.

Post Restriction

: You're Derren Brown! No one tells you what to say. You tell them.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will result in a loss of all abilities the following Night.

Notes: It was decided that if the Serial Killer ended up in a situation where all the roles left had been guessed, he would then get a one-shot kill to last the rest of the game.

Player

: Seol

Role Name

: You are Perry Mason, the Defense Attorney!

Role Description

: You've decided to take a vacation, having retired from lawyering. However, the urge to figure things out runs too deep for you to repress entirely. You'll be watching everyone very closely.

Role Details

:

During Night, you may choose to investigate the player of your choice. You will discover whether they are "good" or "bad". You may only use this ability once during the game. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: Retired or not, you can't help your tendency toward grandiose speeches. In order to get across the importance of what you have to say, you must italicize at least two words in every post.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will make you unable to use your ability the following Night.

Notes: An investigation of the Serial Killer or the Traitor (pre-recruitment) would have gotten a "good" result. An investigation of any of the Satanic Nuns would have gotten a "bad" result (a play on the Mason connection).

Player

: Tamuz

Role Name

: You are Chantelle Houghton, Fake Celebrity!

Role Description

:

Chantelle, please come to the diary room.

Chantelle, Big Brother would like to congratulate you on successfully faking your way to a victory in Celebrity Big Brother. Big Brother is so proud of you that he is giving you a new secret mission. You are to infiltrate a group of orators, politicians, writers, and philosophers. In order to succeed in your mission, you need to keep them from realizing that you aren't really one of them. Oh, and you might want to avoid getting yourself killed.

Role Details

:

You may not claim your real role. If you choose to claim a role, you must claim an orator, politician, writer, or philosopher, along with an ability (you may not claim Vanilla Townie). If you are unsure whether a claim is legal, ask the Moderator before making it. If you claim your name, or someone figures it out, you will be evicted... permanently. In order to win, you must survive.

Post Restriction

: You may have won Celebrity Big Brother, but you're still blonde. Each post must contain one of the following phrases: "that's like", "totally", "oh my god".

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will affect the End of Day scene.

Notes: The appearances of Big Brother in the scenes were the result of failures by this role. Chantelle was neutral. Only the Serial Killer needed her dead to meet a winning condition.

Player

: the silent speaker

Role Name

: You are Italo Calvino, the Writer!

Role Description

: Having written yourself into this peculiar tale of Mafia, you find yourself gifted with a bizarre plot device. As a member of the OuLiPo group, you hold the mystic Rod of Restriction. Normally you would be wary of its power... but this is just a story. Right?

Italo Calvino has advanced far beyond his American and English contemporaries. As they continue to look for the place where the spiders make their nests, Calvino has not only found this special place but learned how himself to make fantastic webs of prose to which all things adhere.

- Gore Vidal

Role Details

:

Each night, you must give a post restriction to another player, which applies to each of that player's posts for the following Day. The restriction must come from the following list:
1. For each post, one sentence's ten XOR more words need different initial letters.
2. Each sentence within a post must have a different number of words.
3. Each post must contain one mispelling. (Slang, "wtfbbq" for example, does not count. The intended word must be recognizable for it to be considered a proper misspelling error.)
4. Each post must contain a "word" (unbroken string of letters preceded by a space and followed by a space or non-hyphen punctuation mark) of at least five letters containing only consonants.
5. Each post must contain a number which has not appeared in a previous post.
You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: Each of your own posts must follow one of the restrictions from the preceding list. You do not need to follow the same restriction for the entire Day. In addition, you may not claim your role name.

Biographical data, even those recorded in the public registers, are the most private things one has, and to declare them openly is rather like facing a psychoanalyst.

- Italo Calvino

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will earn you a penalty post. It must be posted as your first post the following Day, and must contain all the restrictions from your list.

Player

: Werebear

Role Name

: You are John Locke, the Doctor!

Role Description

: Your mind is sharp and ready to engage in discussion with the others, wherever the conversation may turn. Being a doctor, you are also ready and able to assist those who need assistance. After all, no one else has the right to harm another.

Role Details

:

Each Night, you may choose another player. That player will be protected from one injury. You may not choose the same player on consecutive Nights. You may not protect yourself. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You are only allowed to Nominate three different players during each Day, and you are only allowed to Vote for one player during each Day. You may, however, Unvote, Unnominate, Revote, and Renominate as many times as you like.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will cost you your ability the following Night.

Player

: VitaminR

Role Name

: You are Screaming Lord Sutch, 3rd Earl of Harrow, the Suicidal!

Role Description

: As the founder of the Official Monster Raving Loony Party, you should fit right in with the politicians and other speaker types here. You're here to party! Of course, if no one likes you, there's no fun in that, right? Right.

Role Details

:

Each Day you must receive at least one Nomination from another player. Otherwise, you will kill yourself the following Night. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: SCREAM! Each of your posts must contain a word (of at least four letters) in CAPS. Abbreviations do not count.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will depress you, so you'll not only need a Nomination the next Day to fight off your suicidal tendencies, you'll need a Vote as well.

Player

: Cogito Ergo Sum

Role Name

: You are Sister Grace Voluble, the Satanic Nun!

Role Description

: You aren't sure you and your fellow nuns fit in here, but that won't stop you from talking incessantly. Anyway, of all the things you could be asked to do in service of the Adversary, Destroyer of Kings, Angel of the Bottomless Pit, Great Beast that is called Dragon, Prince of This World, Father of Lies, Spawn of Satan and Lord of Darkness, this is one of the most pleasant you could think of.

Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.

- Good Omens

Role Details

:

You know that the other members of your order, mikeburnfire and petroleumjelly, are innocent. You may talk to them during the Night. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: The first five posts of each Day must start with "S", "A", "T", "A", and "N" respectively.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will increase your minimum posting requirements to 7 sentences, 50 words in those sentences, and 9 posts total during the following Day.

Player

: petroleumjelly

Role Name

: You are Sister Mary Loquacious, the Satanic Nun!

Role Description

: You aren't sure you and your fellow nuns fit in here, but that won't stop you from talking incessantly. Maybe you can even use the experience in the future as a business training exercise.

Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.

- Good Omens

Role Details

:

You know that the other members of your order, Cogito Ergo Sum and mikeburnfire, are innocent. You may talk to them during the Night. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: Sister Mary, you love making small talk. Each of your posts must address one other player (just mentioning the player does not count; you must direct a statement or question at the player, addressing him or her by name).

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will increase your minimum posting requirements to 7 sentences, 50 words in those sentences, and 9 posts total during the following Day.

Player

: mikeburnfire

Role Name

: You are Sister Gabriella "Gabby" Gregarious, the Satanic Nun!

Role Description

: You aren't sure you and your fellow nuns fit in here, but that won't stop you from talking incessantly. Keep your eyes open for signs of the Apocalypse!

Most of the members of the convent were old-fashioned Satanists, like their parents and grandparents before them. They'd been brought up to it and weren't, when you got right down to it, particularly evil. Human beings mostly aren't. They just get carried away by new ideas, like dressing up in jackboots and shooting people, or dressing up in white sheets and lynching people, or dressing up in tie-dye jeans and playing guitars at people. Offer people a new creed with a costume and their hearts and minds will follow.

- Good Omens

Role Details

:

You know that the other members of your order, petroleumjelly and Cogito Ergo Sum, are innocent. You may talk to them during the Night. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You're very proud of your name. Each of your posts must contain a word containing "GG". You can not use the same word for this purpose in consecutive posts.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will increase your minimum posting requirements to 7 sentences, 50 words in those sentences, and 9 posts total during the following Day.

Player

: SpamWise

Role Name

: You are Demosthenes, the Prosecutor!

Role Description

: You are one of the greatest of the Ancient Greek orators. However, while your main interest lies in public affairs, you still have some skill as a prosecutor.

Role Details

:

During Night, you have the option of investigating one player. You will discover whether they are "blood-thirsty" or "pure". You may only use this ability once during the game. You win when all evil players are eliminated.

Post Restriction

: You may have overcome your childhood speech impediment to become one of the great speakers, but you still have an occasional stutter. Three times per day you must double a word. For example: "I am am Demosthenes." The result need not be grammatically incorrect.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will cause you to lose your ability for the following Night.

Notes: An investigation of the Serial Killer or the Traitor (pre-recruitment) would have gotten a "pure" result. An investigation of John Locke would have gotten a "blood-thirsty" result (a reference to Ender's Game).

Player

: Fiasco

Role Name

: You are Benito Amilcare Andrea Mussolini, the Fascist Dictator!

Role Description

: Italy will rise again! Eliminating a few speakers and writers who might speak out (and write) against you seems like a small thing, but you've got to start somewhere.

Role Details

:

You are in the Italian Mafia with Thok and LoudmouthLee. On any Night, you may choose to kill another player in the game by shooting them (even if another Mafia member is also committing a murder). You may only use this ability once during the game. You are also aware of a Traitor loyal to your cause, though you aren't sure who the Traitor is. The Traitor wins with the Mafia whether recruited or not, but your group can make the Traitor a full Mafia member (with the ability to kill) by saying "Et tu, PLAYERNAME". You win when all players who oppose you are dead.

Post Restriction

: You must construct your posts carefully, perhaps through the use of a trestle, and include two words of at least six letters which are anagrams.

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will mean you can not use your killing ability the following Night.

Player

: Thok

Role Name

: You are Nero Claudius Cæsar Augustus Germanicus, the Crazy Emperor!

Role Description

: Burn burn burn burn burn burn burn.

Role Details

:

You are in the Italian Mafia with LoudmouthLee and Fiasco. On any Night, you may choose to kill another player in the game by bludgeoning them (even if another Mafia member is also committing a murder). You may only use this ability once during the game. You are also aware of a Traitor loyal to your cause, though you aren't sure who the Traitor is. The Traitor wins with the Mafia whether recruited or not, but your group can make the Traitor a full Mafia member (with the ability to kill) by saying "Et tu, PLAYERNAME". You win when all players who oppose you are dead.

Post Restriction

: Each of your posts must contain a synonym for crazy (first entry).

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will mean you can not use your killing ability the following Night.

Player

: Commodore Amazing/HalfMan

Role Name

: You are Marcus Junius Brutus, the Traitor!

Role Description

: You aren't sure how you ended up on this crazy adventure, but you are delighted to discover that a few of the other passengers are plotting against the rest. You aren't sure who the plotters are yet, but this is exactly the sort of fun you could use. After all, Dante has already condemned you to the lowest level of Hell; it can't get much worse than that, so you might as well make the most of your remaining time here. You'll have to make them aware of your intentions, of course, which might be tricky to do with everyone else watching.

Role Details

:

You currently have no abilities. In order for you to join the Mafia, one of the Mafia members must say "Et tu, XXXX", during the day. The following Night, you will become a normal Mafia member. Whether you are recruited or not, you win if the Mafia win.

Post Restriction

: Beware the Ides of Mafia! Each of your posts must contain "I'd".

Posting Requirements/Restrictions, First Failure

: Failing during the Day will keep you from being recruited the following Night, even if the Mafia carries out their part of it.

Notes: The XXXX was supposed to have been replaced with the name of the player, not just any phrase... thus the "auditions" and other general confusion. Once he finally asked about it, he received as some compensation for the error the information that the Mafia were already aware of the correct form. After recruitment, the role received a one-shot stabbing to match the other one-shot kills for the Mafia.